It's Not Me, It's You Audiobook By Jon Richardson cover art

It's Not Me, It's You

Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman

Preview

Try for $0.00
Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

It's Not Me, It's You

By: Jon Richardson
Narrated by: Jon Richardson
Try for $0.00

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $18.87

Buy for $18.87

Confirm purchase
Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.
Cancel

About this listen

A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply).

‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’ Jon Richardson

Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man…

Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon’s obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.

But Jon doesn’t want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

©2011 Jon Richardson (P)2011 HarperCollins Publishers Limited
Literature & Fiction Funny
activate_Holiday_promo_in_buybox_DT_T2

Critic reviews

‘Richardson is an OCD-afflicted, grumpy young man who can spin a brilliant routine and could well be the best comic of his generation.’ The Herald

‘Boldly funny and expertly written, it’s a look at dark subjects deftly handled by an engaging comic talent.’ Shortlist

‘Written in his unique style, Jon's quest is a hilarious eye-opener into the mind of a neat freak.’ The Sun

‘I loved Jon’s book. It’s even better than the real thing because you can’t hear his voice.’ Michael McIntyre

‘Jon’s book is just like him. Funny, enjoyable and short.’ Alan Carr

What listeners say about It's Not Me, It's You

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    107
  • 4 Stars
    37
  • 3 Stars
    15
  • 2 Stars
    5
  • 1 Stars
    3
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    108
  • 4 Stars
    22
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    4
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    86
  • 4 Stars
    35
  • 3 Stars
    14
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    4

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Nice save

Started promising, descending into a dull repetitive drone, and then, in the last few chapters, when I was barely paying enough attention to notice, it became brilliant.
Read for the last 3 chapters.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very funny and honest

Exactly what you’d expect. Made me laugh out loud and acknowledge my own weirdness. Excellent.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

it's probably me

I enjoyed it greatly, though my reation alternated between catharsis (me too!) and increased anxiety(oh god, me too!)
also I really hope that Gemma through line was an exaggeration

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Different, surprising comedy

Any additional comments?

Listening to this book was a surreal experience. You're laughing and almost crying on every page. Jon Richardson's humour takes you totally by surprise, he's so honest and different to other comedians.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

6 people found this helpful