John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life
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Narrated by:
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Nicky Calonne
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John Goblikon
About this listen
In a world filled with trolls, we all need to live life more like a goblin. What does it mean to "live life like a goblin"? It means to give no f--ks, but also all the f--ks in the world at the same time. It means to be constantly anxiety-ridden while also eternally optimistic. A goblin's heart, specifically John Goblikon's, is filled with love, joy, angst, constant quandary, Chili's Southwestern egg rolls, metal, and empathy. Through the goblin eyes of being an internet celebrity/insurance salesman/rock-and-roll mascot for the Goblin Metal outfit, Nekrogoblikon, we learn about life, death, business, food, music, travel, culture, dating, school, drinking, compassion, and much more!
John walks listeners through crucial life steps, from becoming internet famous, to getting dates with special someones, to even correct ordering techniques for the perfect meal at Chili's.
Have a problem? John Goblikon assumes he knows how to help you solve it...all in this new, for-sure-to-be-a-New-York-Times-best-seller-and-win-like-100-awards debut: John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life.
©2019 Brandon Dermer and Dave Rispoli (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sean hulbert
- 12-22-22
Enjoyable
Love that it is read by John Goblikon, it wouldn’t have been as good read by anyone else. It’s more for entertainment value than it is for self help, but there is some good advice too. Definitely worth a listen. Great job John, I hope you get all the awards for this book.
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- Jen
- 01-25-22
Get this book RIGHT NOW!
Even my mom enjoyed this! I think we all could learn a thing or two from John Goblikon.
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- Michael & Whitney Boyette
- 09-30-20
Chili’s
Need I say more? Actually I do Amazon makes me tell a certain amount of words. So. Chili’s
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- Dillan Bergman
- 04-27-20
Eye Opening Experience
Loved it!
The most memorable moment was learning "excuses are like assholes, it's all about presentation."
John Goblikon is a narrative sensation, unlike any other.
Thanks to this audiobook, during hard times in America due to the COVID-19 pandemic; I as an essential worker, took a shot listening to this book as an outlet for my feelings.
Because of the lessons learned in this book, from start to finish, I willingly restrained myself from quitting my warehouse job and starting my new life as a Chaturbate model. Although my delectable yams would've been a hit and definitely put me in the top 200 position on the site, I made the right call and I'm sticking my neck out for people in need, rather than selfishly be concerned about my income.
I recommend this book for anyone going though a rough time RIGHT NOW (see what I did l there?) and in need of an escape from this hellscape of a reality.
P.S. Told my co-worker Brad (who isn't technically classified as a Brad but still associated by name) to fuck off.
P.S.S Some insight on Brad, he is at least 6 foot tall and 250lbs, in his free time he likes jamming out to Type O Negative and practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu... He's a little upset with me but I will gift him this audiobook to make amends.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-16-19
Time to live!
Before listening to this book, everything was terrible. Now I know how to handle Brads and exactly where I should go for Happy Hour everyday! Thanks John!
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- Ickybittles
- 01-06-21
hilarious
loved it a lot listening to a internet famous goblin while working away at my desk job is a fine way to spend an afternoon
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- Michael
- 08-02-20
Five out of Five Stars!
Live your best (green) life!
John Goblikon shares his otherworldly experiences with us in the hope of helping us reach our best selves, our goblin selves. From things such as dealing with work, self-image, and eating at Chili's, Mr. Goblikon does his best to make sure we all understand that life is fleeting and we need to make the most of it right now. RIGHT NOW.
Nekrogoblikon being one of my favorite bands, I knew I had to read this self-help book penned by their mascot, John Goblikon. His wild musings were hilarious, and had me laughing quite a bit while driving (which is mainly when I like to listen to audiobooks, which is the best format for this book to be enjoyed). I finished this book in a single day, and only wish there was more to be had.
For fans of metal, goblins, and Chili's, I highly recommend you buy this book. And do yourself a favor and splurge a bit more for the audiobook. I promise you won't regret it.
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- Eli W.
- 05-09-22
Rock on...
...at Chillie's. Why this have to be 15 words or more? I don't have that much to say.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-06-20
Best audio book I've ever heard.
Thanks John, you really set me up to Liv my best life. I don't know what I would do without ya.
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- gghhyy
- 06-03-22
Goblinesk!
No other goblin book audio or other wise will ever touch this book! Right Now, best life advice in the history of life advice Right Now!
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