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Lick and the Invasion
The Beginning (Book 1) (A Humorous Science Fiction Adventure)
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Narrated by:
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Hector Carrillo
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By:
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Lick Darsey
About this listen
They came up on us like a gravy crap. We was just down by the creek dranking and shooting when them ugly suckers flanked us. My name is Lick. They call me Lick cause when I was a baby I used to lick everything. This is the story of me and my buddy Fanger. We call him Fanger cause when he was a kid he broke his panky fanger on his right hand and his mom and deddy didn't git it fixed right. Now it sticks out all the time like a fancy yankee or English man dranking tea. Anyway, this is the story of our first encounter and how we ended up on the run. Just like everybody else.
©2014, 2016 Robert D Smith Jr (P)2024 Robert D Smith JrListeners also enjoyed...
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Bob and Nikki: Publisher's Pack
- Bob and Nikki, Book 1-3
- By: Jerry Boyd
- Narrated by: Chris Ciulla
- Length: 17 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Bob thought he was doing fine on his own. Then the love of his life fell out of the sky. Can he get her back in the air with auto parts and a cutting torch? If he does, will she ever come back? Nikki took a job before she saw the equipment. Can she keep her passengers alive on a strange planet? Are the natives friendly?
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Excellent Series
- By Q on 06-18-20
By: Jerry Boyd
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Supernatural Travel Agency Omnibus
- Books 1-3
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Amber Hartt
- Length: 27 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Alex Kaine scores a job with a small but lucrative travel agency, he discovers its secret: that Mystic Getaways actually controls the Mystic Gateways, a series of portals that open wormholes to dramatically altered, far-flung versions of our own world.
By: Dante King
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Whiskey and Warfare: The Team Huntress Flights
- The Team Huntress Flights, Book 1
- By: E.M. Hamill
- Narrated by: Rose Cowel
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Maryn Alessi retired from mercenary service after her last assignment went horribly sideways and settled down on a quiet planet with the love of her life. Unexpectedly widowed, Maryn must fulfill a promise to return her mate’s ashes to zer home planet for funeral rites, but a brutal civil war has destabilized space travel.
By: E.M. Hamill
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Paths of Akashic
- Book 1: Initiation
- By: Bainin
- Narrated by: Adam Stubbs, Mia Fothergill
- Length: 17 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Alistair’s life is turned upside down when he is abruptly separated from his friends and family. As the universe slowly transforms and new laws take hold, everyone within his universe is cast into the trial—a crucible of survival and transformation. Before being set on his path, Alistair encounters a system avatar—a brief and enigmatic guide who offers little explanation, guidance, or aid before sending him and the rest of his universe into the unknown.
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Doesn’t stay focused
- By andrewK on 11-06-24
By: Bainin
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Thane
- By: Aaron Randolph
- Narrated by: Aaron Randolph, David Autovino, Alexandra Cohler, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Seven strangers wake up in a sealed compound with no idea how they got there. They are informed by a computer-generated voice that they must complete tasks in order to leave, and that failure to complete any of the tasks or breaking any of the rules results in a strike. The first two strikes induce extreme pain. The third strike is death. As they struggle to survive without turning on each other, they have no idea that their actions and choices could doom humanity. Or save it.
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An Immersive Sci-Fi Thriller That Keeps You Guessing
- By Shane on 01-17-25
By: Aaron Randolph
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The Second Artifact
- By: David Collins
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In the first book, Ben had ordered a strange object from eBay. It turned out to be the missing part from an alien spacecraft. One with an AI that needed a crew so it could pass itself off as a non-AI ship. Having survived their first adventure in space, they now had a new, larger, and much faster ship. Returning to Earth should have been the easy part. They also had a wedding to plan. Unfortunately, nothing goes as planned. They are sent to a new destination in space to meet with a new alien species, with whom the other aliens' first contact didn't go very smoothly. Along the way, they ...
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I really like the premise
- By Kindle Customer on 10-22-24
By: David Collins
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Wraith
- The Convergence War, Book 1
- By: M.R. Forbes
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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When the research starship Galileo vanishes without a trace, the powers-that-be are quick to bury the incident, eager to prevent escalating tensions that could lead to war. As a former POW, Soren refuses to give the ship up for lost. His daughter is one of the missing. Taking matters into his own hands, Soren starts pulling strings and calling in favors, determined to launch a clandestine mission to bring Galileo home. When an old friend offers him a ship for the operation, he expects a rusty relic headed for the scrapyard.
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Best of MR Forbes!!
- By O. Lester on 10-23-24
By: M.R. Forbes
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Good Boys: The Lost Tribe
- Good Boys, Book 1
- By: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: Tom Taylorson
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.
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What a Fun Ride!
- By CarterFSU on 08-22-24
By: Jeremy Robinson
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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The Humans
- A Novel
- By: Matt Haig
- Narrated by: Mark Meadows
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The critically acclaimed author of The Radleys shares a clever, heartwarming, and darkly insightful novel about an alien who comes to Earth to save humans from themselves. When an extraterrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this weird species than he has been led to believe. Eventually, the narrator sees hope and redemption in the humans' imperfections and begins to question the very mission that brought him there.
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Light Sci-Fi Fare--You'll Love It!
- By Kathy in CA on 06-29-18
By: Matt Haig
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Messenger Corps
- Messenger Corps, Book 1
- By: J.N. Chaney, Terry Maggert, Glenn Seguin
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 13 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, pilots who merely looked like soldiers were adequate. They filled the mechs. They filled roles. They supported Spann and his genetic offshoot of pure-blooded warriors known as the Superba. Spann's dream of absolute power ends with a single, crushing blow as a new enemy strikes at the Realm, leaving no survivors—followed by a mad dash to find fighters who can stand up in the old ways, using the mechs gifted to humanity by their oldest allies. Even in the midst of war, there is hope.
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Pretty good but…
- By J. Ridpath on 11-18-24
By: J.N. Chaney, and others
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The Naturalist Society
- The Naturalist Society, Book 1
- By: Carrie Vaughn
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In the summer of 1880, the death of Beth Stanley’s husband puts her life’s work in jeopardy. The magic of Arcane Taxonomy dictates that every natural thing in the world, from weather to animals, can be labeled, and doing so grants the practitioner some of that subject’s unique power. But only men are permitted to train in this philosophy. Losing her husband means that Beth loses the name they put on her work—and any influence she might have wielded.
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engrossing
- By TxCollect on 12-21-24
By: Carrie Vaughn
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This Will Be Fun
- A Novel
- By: E. B. Asher
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese, January LaVoy, Hope Newhouse
- Length: 12 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone in Mythria knows the story of how best friends Beatrice and Elowen, handsome ex-bandit Clare, and valiant leader Galwell the Great defended the realm from darkness. It’s a tale beloved by all—except the heroes. They haven’t spoken in a decade, devastated by what their quest cost them. But when they all receive an invitation to the queen of Mythria’s wedding, it’s a summons they can’t refuse . . . and a reunion for the ages.
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Accent inconsistency
- By Anonymous User on 01-05-25
By: E. B. Asher
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The Order of Architects
- Order of Architects, Book 1
- By: Oleg Sapphire, Yuri Vinokuroff, Christopher Michael Jarrett - translator
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!
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Haphazard storyline.
- By v on 09-08-24
By: Oleg Sapphire, and others
What listeners say about Lick and the Invasion
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Akseminole
- 12-12-24
If Larry the Cable Guy incited an Alien Invasion
This is hilarious, definitely lowbrow humor, but it hits the mark. I’m looking forward to another episode of this story.
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- xpda
- 11-30-24
DNF
Couldn’t finish. Mildly funny. Now i need i15 words t leave a review. More words are here now.
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