Mate
Become the Man Women Want
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Narrated by:
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Geoffrey Miller PhD
About this listen
The number-one best-selling pioneer of "fratire" and a leading evolutionary psychologist team up to create the dating book for guys.
Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20-plus years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.
The short answer: Become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It sounds simple, but it's not. If it were, Tinder would just be the stuff you use to start a fire. Becoming your best self requires honesty, self-awareness, hard work, and a little help.
Through their website and podcasts, Max and Miller have already helped over one million guys take their first steps toward Miss Right. They have collected all of their findings in Mate, an evidence-driven, seriously funny playbook that will teach you to become a more sexually attractive and romantically successful man, the right way:
- No "seduction techniques"
- No moralizing
- No bullshit
Just honest, straightforward talk about the most ethical, effective way to pursue the win-win relationships you want with the women who are best for you.
Much of what they've discovered will surprise you, some of it will not, but all of it is important and often misunderstood. So listen up, and stop being stupid!
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.
©2015 Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller PhD (P)2015 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
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Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
By: Aziz Ansari, and others
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For Young Women Only
- What You Need to Know About How Guys Think
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Lisa Author Rice
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Why are guys so weird? Unravel the mystery. A national scientific survey and in-depth personal interviews give you an unprecedented look inside the teenage male mind. Discover how: He'd be perfectly fine if he was loved by few and hated by many as long as he was respected by all. His ego is the size of Africa (but so are his insecurities). He hides his real feelings under a tough exterior.
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For Christians
- By R. Burdick on 07-18-09
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Love Understood
- The Science of Who, How and Why We Love
- By: Laura Mucha
- Narrated by: Laura Mucha
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
- By James on 03-05-19
By: Laura Mucha
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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Boying Up
- How to Be Brave, Bold and Brilliant
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing from a boy to a man is no easy task. Bodies are changing, social circles are evolving, hair is appearing in places it never was before - and on top of it all, there's the ever-present pressure to conform to the typical idea of what it means to be "manly". But it's easier to do if you're armed with facts. Using personal anecdotes as an overly observant mother of two boys and plenty of scientific information from her life as a neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, PhD, star of The Big Bang Theory, talks directly to teen boys about what it means to grow from a boy to a man.
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Missed Audience?
- By Hemmik on 05-29-18
By: Mayim Bialik
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The Wait
- A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love
- By: DeVon Franklin, Meagan Good
- Narrated by: JD Jackson, Allyson Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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President/CEO of Franklin Entertainment and former Sony Pictures executive DeVon Franklin and award-winning actress Meagan Good have learned sometimes all we can do is wait for "the one" to come into our lives. They spent years crossing paths, but it wasn't until they were thrown together while working on the film Jumping the Broom that their storybook romance began.
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The Wait Caused Me To Change
- By Bernard on 05-02-17
By: DeVon Franklin, and others
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Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life
- A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity Are Revolutionizing Our View of Human Nature
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Between what can be learned from evolutionary psychology and cognitive science a picture emerges. In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick fuses these two fields to create a coherent story of human nature. In his analysis, many ingrained, apparently irrational behaviors—one-night stands, prejudice, conspicuous consumption, even art and religious devotion—are quite explicable and (when desired) avoidable.
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Rather dated and self-aggrandizing
- By Laurie Frick on 07-21-11
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The Secret Lives of Introverts
- Inside Our Hidden World
- By: Jenn Granneman
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
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mystery method or the game for dummies.
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Not flirting, more like plain basic dating advice.
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Girls perspective is good
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While the best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid him or her entirely, sometimes circumstance doesn't allow for that. What happens when the time comes to defend yourself against your own child, a ruthless ex-spouse, a boss, or another person in power? Using the many emails and letters she has received over the years, Dr. Martha Stout uncovers the psychology behind the sociopath’s methods and provides concrete guidelines to help navigate these dangerous interactions.
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Misleading Title, disappointing content
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Do beautiful women pass you by? Do you become nervous, anxious, or frustrated at the thought of approaching a woman? Do you wonder why great guys like you end up alone when grade A jerks score all the hotties? Maybe you are one of thousands of men rejected for absolutely no reason, or find yourself on the receiving end of lame excuses (especially when women never call you back)? Unlock the secrets women will never tell men!
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A lot of good advice, but a bit repetitive.
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Hilarity Ensues
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Unbearable.
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99 Bad Boy Traits That Instantly Attract Women
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In 99 Bad Boy Traits That Instantly Attract Women, you’ll learn the mindsets, behaviors, and habits of the few men who consistently attract and date beautiful women.
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much, much better than expected
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What listeners say about Mate
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bryan Claus
- 08-17-16
Should be required reading for all 18 year old males
This book is the best non fiction book I have ever read. I'm 50 years old and jealous of any 18 year old who reads this book before dating. Well, I'm married now, but I just learned A LOT about my wife and why things are the way they are, why things went down the way they did, and what I need to do to make it better. I will definitely listen to this book again.
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- Sergio Sierra
- 10-07-19
["WOMEN EVOLVED to like this "X" type of man"]
Information contained is not the end all be all to understanding women and your role in dating. Get out there and learn the lessons for yourself. However, the info contained is a great TOOL I've come across, as a CROSS REFERENCE GUIDE ONLY, and what works for ME when it comes to dating. What works for someone else, might not work for you.
For every lesson in the book authors claim are true, I can find anecdotal reasons as to why they are not true. This left me frustrated and more confused than before but work through it, don't get caught up on facts, just feel whether information applies to you or other's around you so you can cross reference lessons and apply them in your daily dating efforts. At the end of the day it's not about facts being true or not, it's about whether you are producing the result you want with women.
I.E. Author's preach a lot about having good hygiene and appearance but I have witnessed a lot of men with questionable hygiene and shaggy appearances attaining varied results with good looking women.
Best tool in the book is in PDF that gauges whether your mating goals are short term, medium term, or long term. This can provide clarity and help formulate your next move in your dating journey.
BIG FLAW; Assumes the reader is familiar with the BIG 5 Personality Traits in Psychology.
BE ADVISED, If you are not familiar with: 1) Neuroticism, 2) Conscientiousness, 3)Agreeableness, 4)Extroversion, and 5) Openness to Experience, deriving from Personality Psychology, a lot of the information will sound like jargon.This can provide limited clarity and guidance in your dating efforts. If you are the type of man who needs to have a deep understanding of things I recommend using Jordan Peterson's "Understand Myself" personality test or any Big 5 Personality test found online (make sure it's credible), to learn more about yourself and get more substance from this book.
Also, Evolutionary Psychology is a theory, one that sounds good, but is still up for interpretation. As mentioned, the information contained in this book is just a good GUIDE.
I also take issue with the fact that the authors give way too much credit to women as if they are all in tune with their evolutionary dating receptors. They are idealizing women in a sense, don't. They are human just like us and trying to make sense of today's dating dynamics. Be patient with them, and with yourself, it's a numbers game of trial and error.
DATING: "REJECTION IS PART OF THE GAME, ONCE YOU CAN GET PAST THE REJECTION PART, AND ARE INDIFFERENT TO WOMEN LEAVING, YOU'VE GOT THEM." -Patrice O'neal
-Cheers, and good luck to any man worthy of great mating success!
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- Zach Gary
- 05-16-22
Fantastic book
Fantastic book, would highly recommend to any guy struggling to meet someone, if they are just trying improve themselves, or if they're trying to improve their existing relationship. Really put things into perspective, and helped me put first things first. It's not the end all be all book, but then again when has anyone ever found THAT book?
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- Anonymous User
- 11-20-19
Not a guide to dating
This book is not a guide to dating, it’s a guide to living. Possibly the greatest, and most useful book ever written.
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- Michael
- 09-08-16
very informative
Excellent. Well read peppered with good humor . Great information on many levels. I couldn't stop listening listened to entire book in two days. Well worth the filling of one's ears and noggin
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- Jeremy
- 01-23-17
Excellent advice and witty delivery
This book is mainly geared toward college age men but I was still able to gain a good deal of insight from it. I only wish Audible would send me the accompanying PDF files in an email.
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- Leonard
- 12-26-15
Scientific based mating book-Brilliant!
What made the experience of listening to Mate the most enjoyable?
The book is solid-grounded in science.
This book has explained the evolutionary causes of all sorts of mating behaviors and why we should do that.
It also emphasis the importance of win-win relationship instead of the zero-sum scenery pictured by many of the PUA books.
Have you listened to any of Geoffrey Miller, PhD’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No.
What insight do you think you’ll apply from Mate?
Choose your mating market according to your personal strength is vital for my mating success.
Cultivating your personal traits is far more important than so called "PUA technique".
Do the basic thing, exercise regularly, sleep well and eat properly is of great importance for either your physical and mental health which both help you be more attractive to women and men.
Alter your mindset to be more process-focus instead of outcome-focus, enjoy talking to women and spend time with them without restricting yourself on sex. It should be pleasant in and of itself.
Any additional comments?
Highly recommended!
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7 people found this helpful
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- Kwaku
- 11-14-15
The Best!!
The best mating/dating guide I've ever read!! covers all bases and if far deeper than all the pua stuff out there. Teaches you how to become the best version of yourself just as much as getting better at dating.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Rob
- 12-22-15
Mandatory reading for men
If you could sum up Mate in three words, what would they be?
What men looking for answers about women and dating need to read.
What did you like best about this story?
It's both science and reality based
Any additional comments?
This should be required reading to males ages 14 and up. PERIOD! You have no idea how much I wish this information was available when I was a kid and struggling to understand women and dating.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Joe Davis
- 02-27-16
Actually good info
Funny, very well thought out.
This is a book I will listen to a couple times over. A lot of good information.
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