When Men Behave Badly
The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault
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Narrated by:
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Tom Parks
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By:
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David M. Buss
About this listen
“An exceptional book” (Helen Fisher) by a leading evolutionary psychologist and sex researcher that lays out a new theory of sexual conflict, exposing the roots of the dangerous dynamics that underpin men’s predatory behavior - and what can be done to address it.
Sexual conflict permeates ancient religions, from injunctions about thy neighbor's wife to the permissible rape of infidels. It is etched in written laws that dictate who can and cannot have sex with whom. Its manifestations shape our sexual morality, evoking approving accolades or contemptuous condemnation. It produces sexual double standards that flourish even in the most sexually egalitarian cultures on earth. And although every person alive struggles with sexual conflict, most of us see only the tip of the iceberg: dating deception, a politician's unsavory sexual grab, the slow crumbling of a once-happy marriage, a romantic breakup that turns nasty.
When Men Behave Badly shows that this "battle of the sexes" is deeper and far more pervasive than anyone has recognized, revealing the hidden roots of sexual conflict - roots that originated over deep evolutionary time - which define the sexual psychology we currently carry around in our 3.5-pound brains. Providing novel insights into our minds and behaviors, When Men Behave Badly presents a unifying new theory of sexual conflict, and offers practical advice for men and women seeking to avoid it.
©2021 by David M. Buss. (P)2021 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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In Cool, the neuroscientist and philosopher Steven Quartz and the political scientist Anette Asp bring together the latest findings in brain science, economics, and evolutionary biology to form a provocative theory of consumerism, revealing how the brain's "social calculator" and an instinct to rebel are the crucial missing links in understanding the motivations behind our spending habits.
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Some Useful Ideas
- By Carson on 07-20-17
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The Better Angels of Our Nature
- Why Violence Has Declined
- By: Steven Pinker
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 36 hrs and 39 mins
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Faced with the ceaseless stream of news about war, crime, and terrorism, one could easily think we live in the most violent age ever seen. Yet as New York Times bestselling author Steven Pinker shows in this startling and engaging new work, just the opposite is true: violence has been diminishing for millennia and we may be living in the most peaceful time in our species's existence.
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I'd kill for another book this good
- By Eric on 11-11-11
By: Steven Pinker
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The Intelligence Paradox: Why the Intelligent Choice Isn't Always the Smart One
- By: Satoshi Kanazawa
- Narrated by: Paul Neal Rohrer
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Satoshi Kanazawa's Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters (written with Alan S. Miller) was hailed by the Los Angeles Times as "a rollicking bit of pop Science & Technology that turns the lens of evolutionary psychology on issues of the day." That book answered such burning questions as why women tend to lust after males who already have mates and why newborns look more like Dad than Mom. Now Kanazawa tackles the nature of intelligence: what it is, what it does, what it is good for.
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Very entertaining
- By Liz W. on 03-01-20
By: Satoshi Kanazawa
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Not Gay
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- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
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Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: There's fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other's penises and stick fingers up their fellow members' anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men.
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Extreme Feminism and Liberalism
- By David McDougall on 01-17-18
By: Jane Ward
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Down Girl
- The Logic of Misogyny
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Misogyny is a hot topic, yet it's often misunderstood. What is misogyny, exactly? Who deserves to be called a misogynist? How does misogyny contrast with sexism, and why is it prone to persist - or increase - even when sexist gender roles are waning? This book is an exploration of misogyny in public life and politics by the moral philosopher Kate Manne. It argues that misogyny should not be understood primarily in terms of the hatred or hostility some men feel toward all or most women. Rather, it's primarily about controlling, policing, punishing, and exiling the "bad" women.
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Five Star Book w/bad Narration
- By Cherrybomb on 02-08-19
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Blueprint
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For too long, scientists have focused on the dark side of our biological heritage: our capacity for aggression, cruelty, prejudice, and self-interest. But natural selection has given us a suite of beneficial social features, including our capacity for love, friendship, cooperation, and learning. Beneath all our inventions - our tools, farms, machines, cities, nations - we carry with us innate proclivities to make a good society.
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Many interesting thoughts
- By Jonas Blomberg Ghini on 06-01-19
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Born for Love
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
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The Blank Slate
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In The Blank Slate, Steven Pinker, one of the world's leading experts on language and the mind, explores the idea of human nature and its moral, emotional, and political colorings. With characteristic wit, lucidity, and insight, Pinker argues that the dogma that the mind has no innate traits, denies our common humanity and our individual preferences, replaces objective analyses of social problems with feel-good slogans, and distorts our understanding of politics, violence, parenting, and the arts.
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Don't bother. Outdated science & poor logic...
- By ejf211 on 03-31-10
By: Steven Pinker
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The Rational Animal
- How Evolution Made Us Smarter Than We Think
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick, Vladas Griskevicius
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Why do three out of four professional football players go bankrupt? How can illiterate jungle dwellers pass a test that tricks Harvard philosophers? And why do billionaires work so hard - only to give their hard-earned money away? When it comes to making decisions, the classic view is that humans are eminently rational. But growing evidence suggests instead that our choices are often irrational, biased, and occasionally even moronic. Which view is right - or is there another possibility?
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Good book
- By Justin on 02-17-17
By: Douglas T. Kenrick, and others
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What listeners say about When Men Behave Badly
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- A. Goetz
- 12-29-22
Important, informative, and interesting
A well-researched book on the far-reaching consequences of sexual conflict. Understanding these dynamics can actually make your life better.
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- Andrea L.
- 03-02-23
EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS INFO
I talk about this book a lot in my coaching business. I know a lot of men don't think they need to read this because they're a "nice guy" but you need to understand what women go through on a regular basis. Being a good person means having empathy for others. This book will teach you, both men and women, so much about unhealthy relationships.
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- PsyMBA
- 05-04-21
Perhaps the most useful work on evolutionary psychology
Buss has written a work that comprehensively explores the origins of human sexual conflict. When Men Behave Badly makes excellent use of scientific research - much of which he conducted- to demonstrate the need to view human sexual behavior from an evolutionary perspective. Doing so not only elucidates the origins of many barriers to intersexual compatibility- like intimate partner violence, infidelity, and sexual jealousy- but provides a basis to address these problems. Overall, worth reading twice.
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- D.R.
- 01-28-22
Reality, Research, and Unfortunate
This is an absolute fantastic compilation and mesmerizing read....and...also sad, unfortunate, and scary in its reality. If you can peaceably hold these two realities this book is a must read!
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- Jim
- 07-10-21
Fascinating and informative!
Amazing! Written so everyone can understand it. Answers some fundamental questions I had about differences between men and women. Highly highly recommend this book.
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- Marcus Davis Jr
- 04-25-22
Another great book!
Mr. Buss has delivered many great books over the years. His work gives us important information in easy to understand ways. Huge fan!
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- Rafael Madera
- 12-03-21
Incredible book
I had compassion for women before, but after hearing this audio it just went up much higher. This book shed so much light and perspective on the way we interact with women and what they go through. There’s so much facts and history in this book. Will definitely recommend
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- Thomas
- 10-14-22
This should be required reading in schools
Great pacing and incredibly informative. The beginning is full of interesting insights applicable to both sexes. But subtly inviting to males who may be less interested in hearing about the dangers they pose. Then by the time you’re hooked you’re learning about sexual coercion and it’s many forms and damages.
I hope many women start putting this book as “read this before you match with me” suggestion.
It would also be lovely to see a law in place for dating apps to put together behavioural data for analysis of individuals that show signs of dark triad traits.
It may feel troubling to many to be psychologically evaluated by an AI or data science team. But if people read this book and still feel against the idea; they’re likely exact people to be wary of.
Thanks Dr. Buss and team! The world needs more of this!
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- Alton J. Steele
- 05-03-24
Great read
Extremely insightful I would recommend it to anyone interested in The subject. Once again very informative and insightful
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- Kindle Customer
- 07-03-21
Interesting ideas, but argumentation incomplete
The posited framework relies on scientific research and logical argumentation, which is fantastic. I love authors who supply sources and multiple validations to their claims. The result, I feel, was a self-consistent explanation of phenomena stemming from human sexual conflict. However, many arguments were not taken to their logical finish and remained unexplained. For instance, "why do women find dark triad men attractive" was given the equivalent answer of "because they fake or have qualities which women usually find attractive, such as confidence, status and wealth". That does not address the critical detail that being impregnated and abandoned by such a man is about the worst outcome a woman can get in the consensual part of the mating market, and so one would assume women would become excellent detectors of dark triad men. It makes no sense to find a man who will use you attractive. The cherry on the cake is the "sexy son hypothesis", which argues by a circle "women find them attractive because their sons, who are similar to them, would be attractive". Such holes in argumentation are found throughout the book. Personally I was disappointed by the (acknowledged) lack of discussion and explanation of sexual violence perpetrated by women, which could certainly be illuminated within the same framework. In short, a great book full of cool ideas, but that could use thorough questioning and gap filling.
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4 people found this helpful