Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
And Other Things I've Learned
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Narrated by:
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Marc Cashman
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By:
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Alan Alda
About this listen
He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors - a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.
"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was 6," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.
It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.
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- Narrated by: Thomas Penny
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Baby Boy Fisher was raised in institutions from the moment of his birth in prison to a single mother. He ultimately came to live with a foster family, where he endured near-constant verbal and physical abuse. In his midteens he escaped and enlisted in the navy, where he became a man of the world, raised by the family he created for himself. Finding Fish shows how, out of this unlikely mix of deprivation and hope, an artist was born.
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This book will not disappoint you.
- By Joseph on 10-16-16
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By Myself and Then Some
- By: Lauren Bacall
- Narrated by: Lauren Bacall
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Abridged
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The epitome of grace, independence, and wit, Lauren Bacall continues to astound generations with her audacious spirit and on-screen excellence. Together with Humphrey Bogart, she produced some of the most electric scenes in movie history, and their romance on and off screen made them Hollywood's most celebrated couple.
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Wish it had been unabridged
- By Grace on 04-28-14
By: Lauren Bacall
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Size Matters Not
- The Extraordinary Life and Career of Warwick Davis
- By: Warwick Davis
- Narrated by: Gideon Emery
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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You may not recognize my name-or my face for that matter-but it's very likely you've seen me at work. I've managed to cram quite a bit into my thirty-year acting career. In fact I've helped put more bums on cinema seats than Will Smith or Tom Hanks. Who else can say that they've helped destroy a Death Star? Defeated an evil sorceress? Taught magic to Harry Potter? Become a Jedi Master? Reluctantly hitchhiked across the galaxy in search of the answer to the Ultimate Question?
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Sincere and heart-warming
- By Alice on 10-04-15
By: Warwick Davis
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Bettyville
- By: George Hodgman
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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When George Hodgman leaves Manhattan for his hometown of Paris, Missouri, he finds himself - an unlikely caretaker and near-lethal cook - in a head-on collision with his aging mother, Betty, a woman of wit and will. Will George lure her into assisted living? When hell freezes over. He can't bring himself to force her from the home both treasure - the place where his father's voice lingers, the scene of shared jokes, skirmishes, and, behind the dusty antiques, a rarely acknowledged conflict...
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Title Should Be Georgeville-It's All About George
- By Sara on 10-08-15
By: George Hodgman
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Too Close to the Falls
- A Memoir
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to the childhood of Catherine McClure Gildiner. It is the middle of the 1950s in Lewiston, New York, a small and sleepy American town very near Niagara Falls. No one is divorced. Mothers wear high heels to the beauty salon and children pop Pez candy and swing from vines over a local gorge. But at the tender age of four, it becomes clear to her Cathy's parents that their rambunctious daughter is no ordinary child and they soon put her "to work" at her father's pharmacy.
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Brilliant and funny and touching.
- By Kindle Customer on 11-07-19
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Some Girls
- My Life in a Harem
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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A jaw-dropping story of how a girl from the suburbs ends up in a prince's harem and emerges from the secret Xanadu both richer and wiser. At 18, Jillian Lauren was an NYU theater school dropout with a tip about an upcoming audition. The "casting director" told her that a rich businessman would pay pretty girls $20,000 if they stayed for two weeks to spice up his parties. Soon, Jillian was on a plane to Borneo, where she would spend the next 18 months in the harem of Prince Jefri Bolkiah....
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Boring, Pretentious Book
- By Marcos on 04-23-11
By: Jillian Lauren
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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The Great Failure
- A Bartender, a Monk, and My Unlikely Path to Truth
- By: Natalie Goldberg
- Narrated by: Natalie Goldberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Original Recording
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"The Great Failure is a boundless embrace, leaving nothing out. I wanted to learn the truth, to become whole. If I could touch the dark nature in someone else, I could know it in myself." So begins Natalie Goldberg in this candid exploration of her life. Here, Goldberg makes sense of primary relationships between father and daughter, teacher and student, and exemplifies the accomplishment available when creating daily writing practices.
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If you have been let down by anyone. Listen
- By Mia on 04-19-18
By: Natalie Goldberg
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
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Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
What listeners say about Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Jennifer
- 10-14-10
Great Book with one Major Flaw
I have been a fan of Alan Alda for years, I have enjoyed his work and I have wanted to know more about his life. This book was all that I could hope for and more. I learned not only things about Alda, but things about myself! I saw myself in his life and for a time almost forgot that it was his life I was listening about!
The only flaw in this book is a major one though. Alan Alda DOESN'T read this book! Marc Cashman reads it instead. Cashman is a great reader, and I would be glad to hear him in another book, however, this is the story of Alan Alda and his life - he should read it! There were several spots in the book where Cashman almost becomes Alan Alda, but he never quite makes it. I don't think he quite understood what it meant to be Alan Alda and it shows through his performance.
I can't speculate why Alda doesn't read this book, however, it does clearly hurt it. If he had read it, it might have been one of my all-time favorite books that I have purchased on Audible. Sadly, as it stands, it is only a good book. Which saddens me because I can see the potential for greatness.
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Overall
- Brett
- 11-01-05
Alan is a better actor than writer.
This book was OK, but definitely not a must read. The narration (although not Alan) was pretty good. The story itself was a little boring at times though. I'm a big fan of Alan the actor, but I don't care too much for his writing.
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3 people found this helpful
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- deedub
- 06-14-22
Great glimpse into Alda's past
Loved it! He had an interesting past that formed him into he is today.
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- FatOldBroad
- 01-26-15
Fascinating look at an unusual man & family
Loved this look into Alda's life and what makes him tick. Wish he'd done the narration though.
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- C. Massi
- 05-09-17
Very well written and interesting
While the narrator did I wonderful job, I was very disappointed to not hear Alan Alda's voice.
A very interesting life, he makes you laugh and cry.
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Overall
- Robert
- 12-13-05
Alan Alda Biography
This book was very different from the comedy I expected. It is primarily the autobiography of Alan Alda and his immediate family. He really opens up to all the good and bad that he went through. I expected to hear a lot about his TV and movie career but that was limited. The book was fascinating until he got to MASH. At that point it got less interesting. Wisely he spent relatively little time on his Hollywood career and lots on his struggles to get there.
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- Karen Patton
- 08-10-17
Great stories!
Alan Alda is one of my all-time favorite actors. This was quite an enjoyable book, filled with interesting stories, fascinating insights, and humor. I only wish the author had narrated the book.
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Overall
- Lois A. Rose
- 01-17-07
Wish I Had Known
I wish I had read the reviews before purchasing this audiobook. I enjoyed the story very much, but wish I had known there is another version read by Alan Alda himself. Although Marc Cashman is a goood reader, I could here Mr Alda's style in the prose and kept imagining what it would be like to hear him read it. The material needs his unique way of delivering his lines to bring the story to life.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Capsaicin
- 10-24-05
Why didn't Alan Alda narrate it?
I mean really... He would have done a thousand times better job reading his own life. Not to mention adding the reality this book deserves.
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8 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Patricia
- 11-09-05
My purchase of this book was a bit of a mistake.
I wasn't reading as carefully as I should have been, before I hit the Audible purchase button. This is the version Not personally read by Alan Alda, so it was a bit of a shock when I started listening to the book last night. It is interesting so far, but it was a disappointment, as I am a very big fan of Mr. Alda's work and love to hear his voice. So, why are there two different narrations? I should have just borrowed the book from the local public library where I could imagine Mr. Alda's voice reading to me.
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6 people found this helpful