
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
And Other Things I've Learned
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Narrated by:
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Marc Cashman
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By:
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Alan Alda
About this listen
He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors - a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.
"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was 6," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.
Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.
It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.
From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.
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"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)
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Story
Aged just seven, Suzanne Heywood set sail with her parents and brother on a three-year voyage around the world. What followed turned instead into a decade-long way of life, through storms, shipwrecks, reefs and isolation, with little formal schooling. No one else knew where they were most of the time and no state showed any interest in what was happening to the children. Suzanne fought her parents, longing to return to England and to education and stability. This memoir covers her astonishing upbringing.
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A wild story well told by the person who lived to tell the tale!
- By Lauren Havlick on 12-27-23
By: Suzanne Heywood
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Before We Were Innocent
- By: Ella Berman
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Ten years ago, after a sun-soaked summer spent in Greece, best friends Bess and Joni were cleared of having any involvement in their friend Evangeline’s death. But that didn’t stop the media from ripping apart their teenage lives like vultures. While the girls were never convicted, Joni, ever the opportunist, capitalized on her newfound infamy to become a motivational speaker. Bess, on the other hand, resolved to make her life as small and controlled as possible so she wouldn’t risk losing everything all over again. And it almost worked.
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What happened to the ending?
- By Amazon Customer on 02-07-24
By: Ella Berman
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How Y'all Doing?
- Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived
- By: Leslie Jordan
- Narrated by: Leslie Jordan
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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When actor Leslie Jordan learned he had “gone viral,” he had no idea what that meant or how much his life was about to change. On Instagram, his uproarious videos have entertained millions and have made him a global celebrity. Now, he brings his bon vivance to the page with this collection of intimate and sassy essays.
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What more could you want?
- By Barry Benedict on 04-27-21
By: Leslie Jordan
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A Life in Parts
- By: Bryan Cranston
- Narrated by: Bryan Cranston
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Bryan Cranston landed his first role at seven, when his father, a struggling actor and director, cast him in a United Way commercial. Soon Bryan was haunting the local movie theater, memorizing and reenacting favorite scenes with his older brother. Acting was clearly the boy's destiny - until one day his father disappeared. Suddenly destiny took a backseat to survival. Seeking something more stable, perhaps subconsciously trying to distance himself from his absent father, Cranston decided on a career in law enforcement.
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They're all good parts.
- By Shopsfromeverywhere on 10-23-16
By: Bryan Cranston
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The Coming of the Third Reich
- By: Richard J. Evans
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 21 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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There is no story in 20th-century history more important to understand than Hitler’s rise to power and the collapse of civilization in Nazi Germany. With The Coming of the Third Reich, Richard Evans, one of the world’s most distinguished historians, has written the definitive account for our time.
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Compelling and depressing
- By Tad Davis on 06-30-10
By: Richard J. Evans
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Last Patient of the Night
- AJ Docker Medical Thriller, Book 1
- By: Gary Gerlacher
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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The death of a nameless young woman in his emergency room spurs physician AJ Docker to seek answers. Together with his policeman friend and a police dog, he sets out on a quest for justice for his lost patient, but he discovers more questions than answers as he delves into the criminal world.
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Amateurish
- By Ronald D. on 08-21-24
By: Gary Gerlacher
Alan is a better actor than writer.
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Great glimpse into Alda's past
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A very interesting life, he makes you laugh and cry.
Very well written and interesting
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The only flaw in this book is a major one though. Alan Alda DOESN'T read this book! Marc Cashman reads it instead. Cashman is a great reader, and I would be glad to hear him in another book, however, this is the story of Alan Alda and his life - he should read it! There were several spots in the book where Cashman almost becomes Alan Alda, but he never quite makes it. I don't think he quite understood what it meant to be Alan Alda and it shows through his performance.
I can't speculate why Alda doesn't read this book, however, it does clearly hurt it. If he had read it, it might have been one of my all-time favorite books that I have purchased on Audible. Sadly, as it stands, it is only a good book. Which saddens me because I can see the potential for greatness.
Great Book with one Major Flaw
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Alan Alda Biography
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Great stories!
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Wish I Had Known
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Why didn't Alan Alda narrate it?
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My purchase of this book was a bit of a mistake.
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I do wish Alda had read the memoir himself, however, because he has such a distinctive writing voice, and his voice itself is so familiar from all those years on television, that it's frankly <em>weird</em> hearing someone else's voice telling his life in the first person. The only way I can describe the reader of this book's voice quality is, if Martin Sheen was really <em>really</em> gay, he'd sound like the guy that read this book. That's not a slur, just an observation. I'm gay myself.
Sometimes hilarious memoir
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