No Big Deal
From Athlete to Advocate (A Memoir of Childhood Betrayal and a Journey to Justice)
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Narrated by:
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Torey Ivanic
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By:
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Torey Ivanic
About this listen
"No big deal"...for 15 years, these words kept Torey Ivanic from telling her parents, friends, and boyfriends about her interactions with the gymnastics coach who utterly confused her young mind, body, and soul - who had, she eventually came to understand, sexually violated her.
In this memoir, Torey transparently and brilliantly shows how the abuse started, the collateral damage it created in her young life, her realization that it was a big deal, and her journey of healing and justice. After helping to put her perpetrator in prison for 43 years, she created a new life full of real love and joy and became an advocate for sexual abuse prevention.
Most importantly, Torey has lit the path for other victims and their loved ones to:
- Understand exactly how grooming happens
- Realize it was and is a big deal, and not their fault
- Identify and address collateral physical and emotional fallout
- Open space for healing
- Become an advocate for justice and prevention
Whether you have been telling yourself that it was no big deal, or you know it was a big deal and need to know it's possible to move forward - and especially if you have young children and don't know how to protect them - this is the book for you. It is a big deal. And there is something we can do about it.
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When I said, "I do," I meant it for life. When he said, "I do," he didn't mean it at all. Divorced and single, I'm ready to find true love. When a business deal requires me to create an online dating account, I find myself drawn to Mister_Mystery. He's not looking for love. I'm not looking for another lie.
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Not for me
- By 🔵🔷🔹Kaly🔹🔷🔵 on 06-03-20
By: Kristin Mayer
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Tell Me Everything
- A Novel
- By: Cambria Brockman
- Narrated by: Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In her first weeks at Hawthorne College, Malin is swept up into a tight-knit circle that will stick together through all four years. There’s Gemma, an insecure theater major from London; John, a tall, handsome, wealthy New Englander; Max, John’s cousin, a shy pre-med major; Khaled, a wisecracking prince from Abu Dhabi; and Ruby, a beautiful art history major. But Malin isn’t like the rest of her friends. She’s an expert at hiding her troubled past - all while using her extraordinary insight to detect their deepest vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
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beware
- By keith y. on 10-03-19
By: Cambria Brockman
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Cracks in the Ice
- By: Ryan Taylor, Joshua Harwood
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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I’ll never fall in love again. I had my chance, and I was the happiest man you can imagine. One day, it all came to an end. The only thing left was playing hockey, but it wasn’t enough, and I became my own worst enemy. When my old school offered me a lifeline, I took it. As a coach, I could at least be miserable in a different place.
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Love Heals
- By I❤️Books on 12-07-22
By: Ryan Taylor, and others
What listeners say about No Big Deal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-21-21
5 Stars
Loved listening to her story and it was even better since the author read it herself. This is the first time I've read a story written in this format but it works! I actually felt like I was there with her reliving her story. Would definitely recommend!
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- jill priest
- 05-28-20
I’m “Jill” in this book, and I thought it was going to be easy to write this review...NOPE!
I figured that I would just corroborate the stories, nod my head with words, and support the efforts that would help to allow the healing that both of my teammates deserve. Nice try, but not quite.
“Tell me that you love me!” Greg said that to all of us. And I did. Why wouldn’t I? Here was a older-brother figure, who certainly liked me more than my own brothers, had an infectiously positive personality, was highly intelligent, witty, charming, and off-the-richter scale with charisma. He genuinely cared about us, as budding humans, not just athletes.
Torey and I were not super close. I was substantially older so we weren’t teammates for a long period of time. However, as anyone who has formed a bond through a team or collective experience realizes, those relationships continue to strengthen as our interest and attention to those ideals eventually fade. So, it’s not surprising that she opened up to me in vivid detail the events that unfolded after I left for college.
I remember reading the public forum with regard to the charges brought against Greg. I recognized many of the names chiming-in, in support of Greg and defaming the characters of his accusers. ‘Had I not heard the details from Torey herself, I probably would have been on that same side of the fence as all the others. That same thought would have stomped through my mind, “there is NO WAY that Greg could have done any of this!” How could such an immaculate example of humanity, destroy the innocence of these girls’ exploration of their adolescence? Well...he did. And he also destroyed their trust, confidence, and their ability to know joy in their adolescence and beyond.
The best part of this book is when Judge Krichbaum delivers the sentencing. Anyone who is, or is considering to become, an attorney; should read this book for that part, alone. A pivotal moment, where the judicial system MAY fail the precise people it is in place to protect; is resurrected by the WISDOM executed in the interpretation of ALL factors involved. Gold medal on top of the Olympic podium in the game of Justice.
I’m proud of Torey for having the courage to undertake this venture. There is therapeutic power in telling your story. So don’t listen to those who tell you that your story isn’t relevant, isn’t important...that it is “No Big Deal,” because it is, and you ARE.
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- Andrew Morrison
- 09-10-21
An open, heartfelt and important story
Narrated by the author, this audiobook provides a necessary and important message: society has created an elaborate system that protects abusers and leaves the victims to fend for themselves as they attempt to recuperate from their trauma. Because of this, the courage and conviction it takes for victims to come forward and expose the truth is heroic. Torey is such a hero and risked it all in order to create a world based in principles of justice and truth. Though I was never involved in the world of competitive sports growing up, this was a revealing insight into just how easily power dynamics can create situations of harm for young athletes. I highly recommend No Big Deal.
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- jenitaly
- 12-11-23
This is an important, well told story about teenage sexual grooming and abuse and success after.
Wow. What a well told story about sexual abuse from the perspective of the 15 year old girl who lived through it. And... it is about the woman who survives. I learned so much through Torey's situation, her story is heartbreaking, compelling and so relatable. I know clearly this could have been about me or any of my friends. (I don't do gymnastics but writer still kept me in the loop and following along) Well read, a great resource, a well told and intriguing story with characters I invested in and cared about.This is quite well read and so worth the read! highly recommended!
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