No One Asked for This
Essays
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Narrated by:
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Cazzie David
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Gabra Zackman
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James Langton
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By:
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Cazzie David
About this listen
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER. From writer/director Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about anxiety, social media, misanthropy, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family.
For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be alive too, David chronicles her life’s most chaotic moments with wit, bleak humor, and a mega-dose of self-awareness.
In No One Asked for This, David provides listeners with a singular but ultimately relatable tour through her mind, as she explores existential anxiety, family dynamics, and the utterly modern dilemma of having your breakup displayed on the Internet. With pitch-black humor resonant of her father, comedy legend Larry David, and topics that speak uniquely to generational malaise, No One Asked for This is the perfect companion for when you don’t really want a companion.
"Blisteringly honest...kind of like if a David Sedaris book was written by an anxiety-ridden millennial who grew up in Hollywood."—Entertainment Weekly
"Cazzie David is the delicious antidote to the poison of basic influencer culture. This book will make all misanthropes feel seen and loved—well, seen and tolerated."—Diablo Cody, screenwriter and author of Candy Girl
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"Blisteringly honest ... kind of like if a David Sedaris book was written by an anxiety-ridden millennial who grew up in Hollywood." (Entertainment Weekly)
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Should be "Something Almost Happened"
- By Kimberly Wasilewski on 05-03-20
By: Darcey Bell
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
- By: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrated by: Brandi Glanville
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
By: Brandi Glanville, and others
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Phantom Limb
- A Gripping Psychological Thriller
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Emily and Elizabeth spent their childhood locked in a bedroom and terrorized by a mother who drank too much and disappeared for days. The identical twins were rescued by a family determined to be their saviors. But there are some horrors love can’t erase....
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Not a fan of the ending.....
- By Dr. loLafolana on 08-10-20
By: Lucinda Berry
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Comedy Sex God
- By: Pete Holmes
- Narrated by: Pete Holmes
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Part autobiography, part philosophical inquiry, part sacred quest - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the spiritual seeker - a hilarious, profound, and enlightening romp around the fertile mind of standout stand-up comedian, host of the hugely successful podcast You Made It Weird, and star of HBO’s Crashing Pete Holmes.
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Mixed bag
- By Brandon on 06-20-19
By: Pete Holmes
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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Missing Parts
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up abandoned by her father and raised by a single mother, Celeste was determined to create the perfect family - but even perfect families have secrets. Her days are filled with a rewarding career, a devoted husband, and her four-year-old daughter. Celeste is the only one who knows the precarious house of cards her family is built upon - until the day her daughter falls critically ill. Then her world quickly spirals out of control, her secret threatening to destroy her marriage, family, reputation, and sanity.
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SPOILER ALERT. Sigh...
- By Kelly on 10-08-20
By: Lucinda Berry
What listeners say about No One Asked for This
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Nbalderas
- 01-19-21
Nathan for you for millennials
Cazzie David’s dark view of the world is not only relatable, but is told with a sarcastic tone that gives Daria a run for her money. Her uncomfortableness with everything reminds me of the hilarious discomfort that occurs when watching the show “Nathan for you.” Cazzie lives in a world where situations go darker and anxieties deeper than you’d expect to hear from most “privileged” millennials (as she refers to herself), but she tells of her experiences in such a way that makes each of them relatable. I was definitely left wanting to hear more from her twisted, sincere perspective. I hope she writes another book one day.
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- Hayley
- 11-19-20
Honest and relatable
For a person who writes about hating the memes with the caption “me,” this book is extremely relatable and honest, and makes me think, “SAME.” She also does a killer job on the audio book performance. Highly recommend.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-20-20
Don’t take it so seriously and you’ll like it
Hate to say it but can definitely tell she’s Larry David’s daughter , and that’s not a bad thing at all!! Hope to see more from Cazzie David !
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2 people found this helpful
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- NM
- 08-29-21
Maybe the best book I’ve ever read (listened to)
I absolutely loved this this narration. Cazzie is absolutely hilarious, deeply honest and introspective, real, relatable, and makes you feel like you’re talking to a friend. Buying this book for all of my friends to read or listen to. I think listening is the best way to consume this book since you can really hear her tone and intention. Doing everything I can to not embarrass myself and DM her telling her how much I love her.
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- Spiffy
- 07-06-23
LOVED IT
Especially description of how social media is causing the downfall of society. Even though I am a 78 year old great grandmother, I felt the book was 100 percent relatable. Can't wait to see what Cazzie does next. You go, girl!
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- Vera
- 11-17-20
This book is so inspiring hope Cazzie writes more💕
This is like hanging out with a really interesting friend and not being stressed to say something interesting yourself. You can just relax and have her beautiful funny thoughts wash over you. All the essays have a beautiful reverence for life even when she’s saying she’s almost afraid to live. I’m a New Yorker listening to this on a cloudy day by a lake and her voice is a purrfect soundtrack. Yes I said purrfect because like a cat Cazzie seems to hate herself probably almost as much as we love her!
Also not like Larry David will ever see this but he’s pretty lucky to have such a funny daughter & I think she should be on Curbed as it would give younger viewers someone to love watching. I like the idea of Curb but find most the characters are too old for me to relate too but Cazzie’s voice is amazing & clearly she’s a good writer. So I guess just giving her her own show would also work or letting her write for herself on Curbed. It’s pretty lucky we get another funny mind like Larry but with a female pov.
Anyway I love this book clearly so that’s all I really have to say about it along with hey more books please! Maybe a movie too and a show, ok.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Courtney Zink
- 05-21-23
More Cazzie!!!
Loved this. Relate so much, so funny. Want more from Cazzie!!! Couldn’t put it down.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-16-20
love
My name is Michael and I am in love with Cazzie David, but wish I was not because she most likely will think of me as a creepy fan stalker person that is crazy. Maybe I will find someone like her or someone like her will find me. Thanks for the book. Love, Michael.
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1 person found this helpful
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- patrick d. liedl
- 02-07-21
Loved it
The author and I have similar conversations with our inner selves. I loved her narration too
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- cynthia
- 11-23-20
Relatable on so many levels
I really loved this book of essays. It was an interesting insight to Cazzie’s life. A lot of people assume that because you’re a child of a celebrity your life is made for you. In these essays it’s clear that is far from true. Although I’m not rich or famous I felt I could relate to a lot of what she went through. Whether you’re rich or poor or famous, we all can face the same issues from depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, shame and mental stability. Like Cazzie, we’re all a work on progress learning from our mistakes and experiences.
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