Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
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Narrated by:
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Tara Schuster
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By:
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Tara Schuster
About this listen
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele.
“You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.” (Glennon Doyle, number one New York Times best-selling author of Untamed)
"Compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life." (Chelsea Handler, number one New York Times best-selling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me)
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love". Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to:
- Fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude
- Excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness
- Identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose
- Silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism
- Carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule
- Create a life you truly, totally f--king love
This is the audiobook Tara wished someone had given her, and it is the audiobook many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictive, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.
©2020 Tara Schuster (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"This is the book so many of us need right now: a fierce-but-tender guide to conquering our self-doubt so that we can breathe, be kind to ourselves, and enjoy the one life we’re given. You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend." (Glennon Doyle, number-one New York Times best-selling author of Love Warrior)
"This isn’t just a memoir; it’s too helpful for that. But it’s not a self-help guide either; it doesn’t promise to cure your ills and it won’t make you roll your eyes. It’s a bracingly honest, funny read that will make you feel you’re not alone in the world. Tara Schuster’s debut is like Wild meets You Are a Badass, and her reflections offer hope for Millennials that if your parents didn’t quite ace their roles, it’s not too late to re-parent yourself." (Adam Grant, New York Times best-selling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B)
“In this fun, debut memoir-cum-guide to ‘reparenting’ oneself and living one’s best life, Schuster, a Comedy Central executive, candidly shares her worst experiences and what’s she learned from them. She writes of how she went from self-medicating and self-sabotaging to reclaiming her life by developing healthy rituals such as journaling, writing thank you notes, using vision boards, and cultivating gratefulness. She also divulges sage advice she’s been given from mentors and friends, including Jon Stewart and Anjelica Huston.... Schuster is jovial throughout and relies on the authority of her experience as she surveys but never overly lauds her impressive career. Filled with gems of wisdom, Schuster’s chronicle of her ups and downs is a winner.” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)
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- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)
- Finding Unfiltered, Real-Life Friendships in This Crazy, Chaotic World
- By: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
By: Amy Weatherly, and others
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Something She's Not Telling Us
- A Novel
- By: Darcey Bell
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny, Carly Robins, Pete Simonelli, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Charlotte has everything in life that she ever could have hoped for: a doting, artistic husband, a small-but-thriving flower shop, and her sweet, smart five-year-old daughter, Daisy. Her relationship with her mother might be strained, but the distance between them helps. And her younger brother Rocco may have horrible taste in women, but when he introduces his new girlfriend to Charlotte and her family, they are cautiously optimistic that she could be The One. Daisy seems to love Ruth, and she can’t be any worse than the klepto Rocco brought home the last time.
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Should be "Something Almost Happened"
- By Kimberly Wasilewski on 05-03-20
By: Darcey Bell
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
- By: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrated by: Brandi Glanville
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
By: Brandi Glanville, and others
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Small Admissions
- A Novel
- By: Amy Poeppel
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Despite her innate ambition and summa cum laude smarts, Kate Pearson has turned into a major slacker. After being dumped by her handsome French "almost fiancé", she abandons her grad school plans and spends her days lolling on the couch, leaving her apartment only when a dog-walking gig demands it. Her friends don't know what to do other than pass tissues and hope for a comeback while her practical sister, Angela, pushes every remedy she can think of, from trapeze class to therapy to job interviews.
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For fans of "Where'd You Go, Bernadette ?"
- By RueRue on 01-16-17
By: Amy Poeppel
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Falling Apart in One Piece
- One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce
- By: Stacy Morrison
- Narrated by: Stacy Morrison
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Just when Stacy Morrison thought she had it all, her husband of 10 years announced that he wanted a divorce. She was left alone with a new house that needed lots of work, a new baby who needed lots of attention, and a new job in the high-pressure world of New York publishing. Morrison had never been one to believe in fairy tales. As far as she was concerned, happy endings were the product of the kind of ambition and hard work that had propelled her to the top of her profession.
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so helpful
- By jessica ball on 11-10-15
By: Stacy Morrison
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Becoming Super Woman
- A Simple 12-Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance
- By: Nicole Lapin
- Narrated by: Nicole Lapin
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's time to stop putting yourself at the bottom of every to-do list and start taking care of yourself first. It's time to leave Superwoman in the movies, where she belongs, and say hello to being a super woman - the best, most productive version of the hero you already are.
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Easy Listen and advice that is actually useful
- By Sean E. Huie on 10-21-19
By: Nicole Lapin
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Sparkle
- The Girl's Guide to Living a Deliciously Dazzling, Wildly Effervescent, Kick-Ass Life
- By: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Narrated by: Cara Alwill Leyba
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As women, we have become professional self-critics. We've become so convinced by society that we need to attain a level of perfection that just isn't real. Whether it's trying to get skinnier, look younger, get that promotion, please our parents, get fuller lips or rid ourselves of cellulite - we're on a never-ending mission to change and it always winds up making us feel like crap. In this straight-up girlfriend's guide, lifestylist and wellness coach Cara Alwill Leyba encourages women to discover what makes them sparkle so that they can design the lives they desire and deserve.
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recovering alcoholics avoid
- By Raven Elise on 08-22-19
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What I Carry
- By: Jennifer Longo
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up in foster care, Muir has lived in many houses. And if she's learned one thing, it is to Pack. Light. Carry only what fits in a suitcase. Toothbrush? Yes. Socks? Yes. Emotional attachment to friends? Foster families? A boyfriend? Nope! There's no room for any additional baggage. Muir has just one year left before she ages out of the system. One year before she's free. One year to avoid anything - or anyone - that could get in her way. Then she meets Francine. And Kira. And Sean. And everything changes.
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Enlightening
- By Kindle Customer on 06-09-21
By: Jennifer Longo
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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At 38 and a quarter years old, Paris native Camille has everything she needs to be happy, or so it seems: a good job, a loving husband, a wonderful son. Why, then, does she feel as if happiness has slipped through her fingers? All she wants is to find the path to joy. When Claude, a French Sean Connery lookalike and routinologist, offers his unique advice to help get her there, she seizes the opportunity with both hands.
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Way too religious. Understated, but still religious. At one point the dog is hating on gays . Not nice
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There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.
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Shockingly shallow and self-centered
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For decades, we have been told that being overworked, overcommitted, and overwhelmed is the price to pay for successful delete modern here lives. That the constant striving, and scrolling, and buying into lifestyles that are marketed to us is a direct path to happiness. When all we seem to get in return is a permanent place on the hamster wheel. Writer and moviemaker Julio Vincent Gambuto understood this all too well. He was constantly on the go, overloading [space] his calendar and inbox, trying to convince himself that being busy meant being fulfilled.
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t
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A review on general behavioral patterns
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Love Warrior
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Just when Glennon Doyle Melton was beginning to feel she had it all figured out - three happy children, a doting spouse, and a writing career so successful that her first book catapulted to the top of the New York Times best seller list - her husband revealed his infidelity and she was forced to realize that nothing was as it seemed. A recovering alcoholic and bulimic, Glennon found that rock bottom was a familiar place. In the midst of crisis, she knew to hold on to what she discovered in recovery: that her deepest pain has always held within it an invitation to a richer life.
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A good examination of Pain, Hope and Love.
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Didn't See That Coming
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When it comes to the “hard seasons” of life—the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job—transformation seems impossible when grief and uncertainty dominate your days. Especially when, as Didn’t See that Coming reveals, no one asks to have their future completely rearranged for them. But, as Rachel Hollis writes, it is up to you how you come through your pain—you can come through changed for the better, having learned and grown, or stuck in place where your identity becomes rooted in what hurt you.
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Unsatisfactory relationships, irrational lack of self-esteem, feelings of being unfulfilled - these are all problems that can be solved by changing the types of messages that people internalize. These self-defeating behavior patterns are called “lifetraps”, and Reinventing Your Life shows you how to stop the cycle that keeps you from attaining happiness.
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Revolutionary
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Worthy
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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Burnout
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Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and teach us how to fight back.
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Solid Book with a Single Exception
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Girl, Wash Your Face
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More for women who are mothers
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Tiny Beautiful Things (10th Anniversary Edition)
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Tiny Beautiful Things collects the best of Dear Sugar in one volume, bringing her wisdom to many more readers. This tenth-anniversary edition features six new columns and a new preface by Strayed. Rich with humor, insight, compassion—and absolute honesty—this book is a balm for everything life throws our way.
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A Spoonful of Sugar
- By Mel on 08-15-12
By: Cheryl Strayed
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You Are a Badass® (Ultimate Collector's Edition)
- How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
- By: Jen Sincero
- Narrated by: Jen Sincero
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In this refreshingly entertaining guide to reshaping your mindset and your life, mega-bestselling author and world-traveling success coach Jen Sincero serves up 28 bite-sized chapters full of hilarious and inspiring stories, sage advice, loving yet firm kicks in the rear, and easy-to-implement exercises.
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This book (and its reader) rocked!
- By Human Landscapers® on 11-08-23
By: Jen Sincero
What listeners say about Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
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- Laura Canning
- 03-30-20
Loved it!!
I absolutely loved this book. It’s both funny and heartfelt at the same time. It is great for anyone who is dealing w their own demons, no matter how big or small to help remind you to be kind to yourself!!
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- Jayme
- 05-29-21
Amazing book!
I loved this book more than I can adequately describe. It is wonderful to hear it in T-Money’s voice and in the no holds barred way it was written. She is a masterful writer and has helped me learn that it is ok to appreciate me. I would give this book 1000 stars if I could have.
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- Novel Girl
- 03-03-20
Spoke to me!
I want to buy this for all of my friends who have self-care and self-love issues. The advice is very salient, I could relate to her experience with her parents, money, and self care. If you had a normal childhood with stable married parents who had a steady-income, then it may just be a fun read for you. Either way, her points hit home.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-27-20
F*cking amazing!
Great motivation on how to become who you want to become. She'll make you feel like old besties catching up.
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- Patrick Grochmal
- 05-04-21
Buying myself the f*cking lilies
Tara’s book is witty, relatable, and engaging. Her storytelling style is whimsical yet honest, and she beautifully captures the choice inherent (yet often hidden) in a life worth living. Highly recommend!
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- Katrina DiAnn E Stroh
- 01-03-22
Best Book of my Year
This book was exactly what I needed when I was in a transitional moment in life. It is potent, truthful, to the point, funny, current, and worth the read. I recommend it often. I now guiltlessly buy myself all the flowers, ALL THE TIME!
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- Michelle Roach
- 09-13-20
Amazing Self Care Tools
I absolutely 💯 love this book. It was recommended to me by my daughter, before even finishing it, I recommend it to two friends whom also love it. It is real, sometimes stings, and full of helpful tips.
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- Darian
- 08-22-20
The Friendly Advice I needed
As someone with depression this book has pushed me to revalute and persue something better
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- Elizabeth Bamaca
- 02-01-23
I would Recommend this audio to ANYONE ❤️❤️
I LOVED this audiobook 🤍 first ever audiobook and Tara did an AMAZING job with this book!! Her words soothed my stressed/anxious soul. I am truly sad the read is over .. but her words and her advice will stay!!
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- Angelica Hollander
- 02-11-23
Honest and beautiful!
So encouraging! I had pleasure of mtg her in person and she is so honest and vulnerable. Highly recommend this read.
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