Not Exactly Love: A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Patricia Santomasso
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By:
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Betty Hafner
About this listen
It was 1969, and all the rules were changing, when Betty, a woefully single French teacher on Long Island, met the handsome but edgy new teacher at her school -- a hippie just back from Woodstock. His vitality opened up a new world to her, but when they married his rages turned against her, and often ended with physical violence. Like millions of women who discover they've married an abusive man, Betty was forced to make daily decisions to suppress her feelings or risk confrontation, to keep it secret or report, and ultimately, to live with it or leave. Part gripping story, part warm-hearted look at the '70s, and part therapeutic journey.
©2016 Betty Hafner (P)2018 Betty HafnerListeners also enjoyed...
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
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Barefoot Season
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Michelle Sanderson may appear to be a strong, independent woman, but on the inside, she’s still the wounded girl who fled home years ago. A young army vet, Michelle returns to the quaint Blackberry Island Inn to claim her inheritance and recover from the perils of war. Instead, she finds the owner’s suite occupied by the last person she wants to see. Carly Williams and Michelle were once inseparable, until a shocking betrayal destroyed their friendship. And now Carly is implicated in the financial disaster lurking behind the inn’s cheerful veneer.
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Narrator Ruins It
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In her best-selling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood - her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of 13 to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea's unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.
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This one is just not for me
- By Pamela Plimpton on 03-15-19
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Breakwater Bay
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Preservationist Meri Hollis loves her latest project, restoring one of Newport's forgotten Gilded Age mansions. And with summer approaching, she'll be able to spend more time with her Gran on the Rhode Island shore. She has a great job, a loving family and she's pretty sure her boyfriend is going to propose on her thirtieth birthday. But everything Meri believes about family, happiness, truth, and love is shattered when her family's darkest secret is exposed.
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Wasted Potential
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- Narrated by: Natalie Goldberg
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- Original Recording
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"The Great Failure is a boundless embrace, leaving nothing out. I wanted to learn the truth, to become whole. If I could touch the dark nature in someone else, I could know it in myself." So begins Natalie Goldberg in this candid exploration of her life. Here, Goldberg makes sense of primary relationships between father and daughter, teacher and student, and exemplifies the accomplishment available when creating daily writing practices.
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If you have been let down by anyone. Listen
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Keeper of the Light
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Dr. Olivia Simon is on duty in the emergency room of North Carolina's Outer Banks Hospital when a gunshot victim is brought in. Midway through the desperate effort to save the young woman's life, Olivia realizes who she is - Annie O'Neill, the woman Olivia's husband, Paul, is in love with.
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I can't finish this...
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The UnAmericans
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- Unabridged
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Again and again, Molly Antopol’s deeply sympathetic characters struggle for footing in an uncertain world, hounded by forces beyond their control. Their voices are intimate and powerful and they resonate with searing beauty. Antopol is a superb young talent, and The UnAmericans will long be remembered for its wit, humanity, and heart.
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Sensational stories! Brilliant new author.
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True Biz
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True biz? The students at the River Valley School for the Deaf just want to hook up, pass their history finals, and have politicians, doctors, and their parents stop telling them what to do with their bodies. This revelatory novel plunges listeners into the halls of a residential school for the deaf, where they’ll meet Charlie, a rebellious transfer student who’s never met another deaf person before; Austin, the school’s golden boy, whose world is rocked when his baby sister is born hearing; and February, the hearing headmistress.
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A good story with added features both intriguing and informational
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After the Eclipse
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A fierce memoir of a mother's murder, a daughter's coming-of-age in the wake of immense loss, and her ultimate mission to know the woman who gave her life.
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True crime memoir
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
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One Amazing Thing
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- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Winner of a Pushcart Prize for poetry and an American Book Award for her short stories, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni explores themes of women, immigration, and her vibrant Indian culture to great effect. Divakaruni expands on these ideas in One Amazing Thing, a project long in the making and full of electric prose.
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An ok way to kill some time
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What listeners say about Not Exactly Love: A Memoir
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kathy Weber
- 12-23-18
why
why would anyone want to bring their child into this to suffer a childhood of hell all to meet their own needs, how sick
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Heart-breaking and Heart-lifting
What did you love best about Not Exactly Love: A Memoir?
Extraordinarily well-written with attention to landscape, both external and internal.
What does Patricia Santomasso bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
It was hard to believe she wasn't the writer. Her delivery was spot-on, emotive, and engaging.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-30-23
thanks for sharing
I experienced verbal abuse. but thankfully my husband got help. certain things I could relate to what Betty went through. thanks for sharing your experience it helps others not feel alone. I'm glad it ended happy. would of liked to hear more about the happy ending with author her husband and son but it was a fantastic book.
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- JordanSavta
- 04-29-18
A Road Map for Escaping Marital Abuse
Would you consider the audio edition of Not Exactly Love: A Memoir to be better than the print version?
I liked the book so much that I purchased a Kindle copy as well to read at night without disturbing anyone. While the voice of the Audible narrator was adequate, I found it a bit lifeless. The voice of the husband was gruff--a woman self-consciously imitating a man. I preferred the narrative voice of the book.
What did you like best about this story?
I felt throughout the author's desire to help others by sharing the details of her experience.
What three words best describe Patricia Santomasso’s performance?
Clarity, evenness, emotionlessness.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I did not want to put the book down. It reflected so many social ills, so much gendered prejudice.I gasped with disbelief at the young policeman's words to the batterer-husband. "Take your wife out to dinner."
Any additional comments?
Betty Hafner’s story of marital abuse, escape and recovery is riveting. With calm and clarity Hafner communicates her terror, pain, and the all too common shame and denial that kept her a prisoner--the victim of a victim of abuse. Fortunately, she has supportive friends and, defying her controlling husband, she engages a wise therapist. With their help, she begins painfully to gain insight into her complicity in her abuse. This insight both fuels her escape and is Hafner’s generous gift to her readers. I highly recommend this book. It’s a good read, and it could save lives.
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- meg
- 01-23-19
very addictive. loved this book
it's rare that I find a book on here that I don't like and this was just more of the same. reading about everything that she went through and how hard it was for her to leave made me both sad and angry. sad because she didn't think she could leave, and angry because he really didn't think he was doing anything wrong. this is a book I would totally recommend. Don't pass by this book definitely read it
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- BookwormNJ
- 04-20-18
Great story telling and narration.
I was genuinely surprised by this story. I had no idea what the story was going to be about I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
i received this book 2 days ago and I just finished it literally just now. I was so drawn in by the story of her survival from an abusive relationship. anyone that has been subjected to that situation can relate. I found myself listening to it at every opportunity. the narration was really good she really brought the characters to life.
I really look forward to listening to another book by this author and also something else by the narrator. I have listened to audiobooks for several years now and I'm quite picky about what I listen to and who I listen to it by and the book and the narrator we're right on target I highly recommend this book.
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- jolene l stacks
- 10-15-21
a really good ending
narrator was very easy to listen to. speed at 125x
I enjoyed the story, was not very graphic which is good for me
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- jstep
- 10-15-18
Authentic, insightful, sad...
Not Exactly Love: A Memoir by Betty Hafner was good. Well, it actually wasn't good, or enjoyable to listen to, or entertaining in the very least. What it was is true and authentic...and humbling and reminds me of how lucky I am to have been able to escape my close encounter with a verbally abusive ex-fiance. I don't really know what else to say about this book except that it's the real deal and thankfully Betty has now been able to extricate herself from Jack's clutches. If you want to know what abuse can be like, listen to this book. If you're currently in an abusive relationship and want to know you're not alone or your abuser's actions are not unique and there is no easy "fix" for them, listen to this book.
I felt that Patricia Santomasso did a good job narrating this memoir. There's nothing "easy" or "fun" about this narration, as it's just a very difficult and heavy memoir of Betty's abuse throughout her meeting and then marrying Jack. I actually felt that her voice, though narrated well, also held a little hollowness such as one might sound when they've been through the ringer over and over again and have become a little numb. Anyways, good overall performance. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher for an honest review.
Did you find this review helpful? If so, would you please take a moment and select the 'helpful' button below? Thanks so much!
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- Flora in NJ
- 07-08-18
Authentic, compelling story/first-rate narration
This book does not miss a beat. It will resonate deeply with any woman who has suffered at the hands of an abusive man, and will serve as a stark warning to any woman who has not.
Despite the fear and violence and relentless mental stress the author suffered, she is amazingly big-hearted in her memoir, managing to convey all the three-dimensional humanity of both the abused and the abuser. The writing style is very natural, often charming and even humorous, despite the subject matter. Like other readers, I found the vivid descriptions of life in the 60’s and 70’s to be a wonderful, and wonderfully accurate backdrop to this compelling story.
I actually listened to this book on Audible and must commend the narrator, who brought Betty’s voice to life and was so effective with the voice of the husband, Jack, that I would literally flinch when I heard his voice and knew he was in a bad mood – I knew that would never end well. I was given a free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Damont and Deidre Smith
- 03-31-18
Insightful
Very insightful, there’s times within the book that caused me to reflect on my life. I’m not in an abusive relationship but at times in my life I give in instead of speaking my truth. Which is a form of abuse to myself. I definitely will recommend this book 📚
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3 people found this helpful