While You Were Out
An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
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Narrated by:
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Meg Kissinger
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By:
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Meg Kissinger
About this listen
Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023
From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them.
Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.
But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding—a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.
While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.
Powerful, candid and filled with surprising humor, this is the story of one family’s love and resilience in face of great loss.
A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books.
©2023 Meg Kissinger (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Meg Kissinger is a world-class reporter and a rip-roaring storyteller. Her heartfelt, eviscerating, deeply introspective investigation of long-held family secrets will leave you quaking with rage about our broken mental-health system—and grateful that writers like her are on the case."—Robert Kolker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road
"As a journalist, Meg Kissinger has long been shining a light on our broken mental health care system by telling the stories of people struggling with mental illness. In While You Were Out, she tells the more personal and painful narrative of the people in her own family who have struggled with mental illness. A gifted storyteller, Kissinger reminds us, in the words of her deceased brother, 'Only love and understanding can conquer this disease.'"—Tom Insel, MD, Former Director of the National Institute of Mental Health
"Frank and revelatory, While You Were Out is a story of overwhelming power, chronicling the kind of American tragedy that feels both aberrant and ever-present."—Rachel Aviv, author of Strangers to Ourselves
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When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side?
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really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
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The Madman's Hotel
- By: Niall Breslin
- Narrated by: Niall Breslin
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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In the heart of the rolling green hills of Ireland a huge abandoned psychiatric asylum looms large and holds its secrets close, until one family fights to find the truth about their long lost great grandmother. Presented by Irish celebrity and mental health advocate Niall Breslin - this is the untold story of the quest to find patient Julia Leonard, alongside many others, who came to die in St Loman’s Hospital near Dublin. Why was Julia in St Loman’s? And what happened to her and other patients who found themselves within its walls?
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Heart felt Remembrance
- By RosaInGlousta on 11-05-24
By: Niall Breslin
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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Enlightening story & a must read
- By Patsy on 10-07-24
By: Ben Austen
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Problem Child
- By: Terrell Carter, Stacy Thunes
- Narrated by: Terrell Carter
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Problem Child is the unbelievably true story of Terrell Carter, an American musician and actor who grew up in Buffalo, New York, in a dysfunctional family, each member crazier than the next. And the Problem Child is the only one in the story who may, or may not, actually have a problem. An emotional journey of trials and revelations, with a huge secret at its core, this story may force you to laugh - just to keep from crying.
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Worth the wait . . .
- By JPALJ on 12-07-22
By: Terrell Carter, and others
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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The Wonder of Stevie
- By: Wesley Morris
- Narrated by: Wesley Morris, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
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The year 1972 saw the beginning of a five-year span in which Stevie Wonder released five groundbreaking, critically acclaimed albums, garnering him more than half a dozen Grammys and more than 10 million albums sold, securing his place as one of the most important American musicians and songwriters in history. For the first time, uncover the untold story of an extraordinary artistic journey that shaped the greatest creative era in popular music history.
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Good but not great
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-24
By: Wesley Morris
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
- By: Ben Austen, Harrison David Rivers
- Narrated by: Ben Austen, Patina Miller, Harry Lennix, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
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In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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A Gripping and Necessary Work
- By booklover on 11-24-24
By: Ben Austen, and others
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San Miguel Kidnappings
- By: Erick Galindo, Roger Vela
- Narrated by: Karla Souza
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
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The close knit community in San Miguel de Allende Mexico was plagued by a string of sophisticated kidnappings for nearly a decade. When the police finally made an arrest the townspeople were shocked by who was accused of masterminding the criminal enterprise. It's everyone's favorite neighbor and a pillar of the community, Ramon Guerra. Except Ramon isn't who he says he is.
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Insightful
- By Tara on 12-11-24
By: Erick Galindo, and others
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The Book of Murder
- A Prosecutor's Journey Through Love and Death
- By: Matt Murphy
- Narrated by: Matt Murphy
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Examining murder from an insider’s perspective, Matt Murphy—a former senior deputy district attorney and current ABC News legal analyst—discusses cases from his career, how they strained his personal life, and how he found peace seeking justice for victims and their families. Part taxonomy of murder, part prosecutor’s handbook, and part personal memoir, The Book of Murder goes through a dozen cases and his recollections of his 26 years in the Orange County DA’s office (17 in the Homicide Unit).
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Fascinating true crime
- By RueRue on 12-19-24
By: Matt Murphy
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The Meaning of Mariah Carey
- By: Mariah Carey
- Narrated by: Mariah Carey
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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It took me a lifetime to have the courage and the clarity to write my memoir. I want to tell the story of the moments - the ups and downs, the triumphs and traumas, the debacles and the dreams - that contributed to the person I am today. This book is composed of my memories, my mishaps, my struggles, my survival, and my songs. Unfiltered. I went deep into my childhood and gave the scared little girl inside of me a big voice. I let the abandoned and ambitious adolescent have her say, and the betrayed and triumphant woman I became tell her side.
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Entertaining glitz glam smoke and mirrors - not the whole story.
- By Anonymous User on 10-04-20
By: Mariah Carey
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Episodes
- The True Story of Two Friends & One Diagnosis
- By: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Narrated by: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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In Episodes, lifelong best friends Kat and Mara take listeners on an unfiltered journey through friendship, mental illness, and survival. Kat, a successful professional, is preparing for marriage and motherhood. On her fourth round of IVF, it happened—a frantic call to Mara. Mara comes over to find Kat, her friend of 25 years—the one who'd always been levelheaded, hilarious, and over-the-top thoughtful—trying to jump through a window.
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Just listen!
- By AJ on 11-17-24
By: Mara Altman, and others
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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They are five kids with five different fathers and an alcoholic mother who leaves them to fend for themselves for weeks at a time. Yet through it all, they have each other. Rosie, the youngest, is fawned over and shielded by her older sister, Regina. Their mother, Cookie, blows in and out of their lives "like a hurricane, blind and uncaring to everything in her path". But when Regina emancipates herself as a minor and escapes, her siblings are separated.
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Good Morning, Monster
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Sarah Gormley spent most of her life trying to outrun the persistent self-loathing that plagued her from childhood, convinced that self-worth was something she had to earn by doing rather than being. When she returned to Salt Creek Farm at age forty-five, Gormley had no idea that detaching from the success she believed defined her, untangling the complicated relationship with her mother, and continuing the hard work of therapy would lead to a wildly transformed life.
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Laughter, Tears and Self Reflection
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The Quiet Room: A Journey out of the Torment of Madness
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Moving, harrowing, and ultimately uplifting, Lori Schiller's memoir is a classic testimony to the ravages of mental illness and the power of perseverance and courage. At 17, Lori Schiller was the perfect child - the only daughter of an affluent, close-knit family. Six years later she made her first suicide attempt, then wandered the streets of New York City dressed in ragged clothes, tormenting voices crying out in her mind. Lori Schiller had entered the horrifying world of full-blown schizophrenia.
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Mental Health Care in America
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My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward
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Mark and Giulia's life together began as a storybook romance. They fell in love at 18, married at 24, and were living their dream life in San Francisco. When Giulia was 27, she suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break that landed her in the psych ward for nearly a month. One day she was vibrant and well adjusted; the next she was delusional and suicidal, convinced that her loved ones were not safe.
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Helps you understand the husband side
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What listeners say about While You Were Out
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dewey
- 10-12-23
The best lived experience memoir I have ever read
I read every book like this as I work with families struggling with mental illness. This is by far the most in depth account that so accurately describes the many levels of struggle. A must read for all loved ones!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-18-24
I didn’t want it to end!
Meg Kissinger is a gifted writer, and her story is gripping, tragic and beautiful all at once.
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- kathy adams
- 12-16-23
Important Memoir!
One family’s personal journey through the struggles of mental illness. Meg is a tireless advocate for mental health using her experiences with her family and her investigative journalism skills to change the broken mental health “system”. I want to share this book with all of my family and friends!
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1 person found this helpful
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Performance
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Story
- Patricia Baker
- 10-04-23
Powerful and Important
Meg’s book was heartbreaking in parts and yet there was always hope. The power of sharing and talking and listening bring clarity and understanding. This will be an important resource in mental health care.
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- Damian Konopka
- 11-25-23
Wonderful addition to mental health writing
Excellent, sad, compelling and restorative stories. Invigorating and motivating for someone suffering from a mental illness.
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- Mayra L. Crespo
- 03-27-24
Meg took mental illness out of the shadows.
Fantastic uplifting book that details the reality of living with loved ones who have any type of mental illness. Despite the card they were dealt, it’s incredible how all six survivors made life work. Highly recommend this great story especially in today’s insane world.
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- Theresa Croghan
- 10-04-24
Honesty
Probably one of the most honest and important books of the decade. Beautifully written. Unapologetic and heart wrenching to read. I’m so happy you wrote this. The detail of a family that faced the biggest tragedy imaginable , twice. Very brave. Thank you
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- PCT HIKER
- 11-19-23
Very interesting book.
This was a very good read. The book had my complete attention until the final chapters. They read more like a college lecture.. As a social worker, i've worked with many homeless people. It was heart-wrenching to go to work everyday and see people living in such squalor. Each person was different and factors leading to homelessness were complicated. it's more complex than simply finding housing. Thank you to the author for telling the story of her family and bringing insight into this human tragedy.
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- Melinda C. Henning
- 10-17-23
It’s so important that this family story has been told …
… in its entirety.
I didn’t know of Meg’s journalism which stimulated significant social change. I’m very grateful for that.
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- Molly
- 11-01-23
The Unshakable Love and Unbreakable Bond of Family
This memoir is one of the best I’ve ever had the honor to read. If you have members of your family who struggle with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, this will resonate so fiercely with you too, but I also think it is important for everyone to read to better understand what that dynamic is truly about. I have such compassion and love for the Kissinger family. Their bond with one another is so special and it is a miracle for all they have been through, that they have made such beautiful families and lives of their own after such pain and sorrow. Thank you Meg for sharing this vulnerable and important story of your life.
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