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While You Were Out
An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
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Narrated by:
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Meg Kissinger
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By:
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Meg Kissinger
About this listen
Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023
From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them.
Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.
But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding—a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.
While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.
Powerful, candid and filled with surprising humor, this is the story of one family’s love and resilience in face of great loss.
A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books.
©2023 Meg Kissinger (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Meg Kissinger is a world-class reporter and a rip-roaring storyteller. Her heartfelt, eviscerating, deeply introspective investigation of long-held family secrets will leave you quaking with rage about our broken mental-health system—and grateful that writers like her are on the case."—Robert Kolker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road
"As a journalist, Meg Kissinger has long been shining a light on our broken mental health care system by telling the stories of people struggling with mental illness. In While You Were Out, she tells the more personal and painful narrative of the people in her own family who have struggled with mental illness. A gifted storyteller, Kissinger reminds us, in the words of her deceased brother, 'Only love and understanding can conquer this disease.'"—Tom Insel, MD, Former Director of the National Institute of Mental Health
"Frank and revelatory, While You Were Out is a story of overwhelming power, chronicling the kind of American tragedy that feels both aberrant and ever-present."—Rachel Aviv, author of Strangers to Ourselves
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- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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The Book of Murder
- A Prosecutor's Journey Through Love and Death
- By: Matt Murphy
- Narrated by: Matt Murphy
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Examining murder from an insider’s perspective, Matt Murphy—a former senior deputy district attorney and current ABC News legal analyst—discusses cases from his career, how they strained his personal life, and how he found peace seeking justice for victims and their families. Part taxonomy of murder, part prosecutor’s handbook, and part personal memoir, The Book of Murder goes through a dozen cases and his recollections of his 26 years in the Orange County DA’s office (17 in the Homicide Unit).
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Great book
- By Last Lemming on 10-04-24
By: Matt Murphy
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Into the Madness
- A Killer’s Game, a Woman’s Obsession, a Dark Conspiracy
- By: Trevor Aaronson
- Narrated by: Trevor Aaronson
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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On July 4, 2022, a shooter climbed onto a rooftop in Highland Park, Illinois, and opened fire on a Fourth of July parade below, killing seven people and wounding dozens more. Prosecutors charged Robert “Bobby” Crimo III with the mass shooting. But this attack was part of something even more insidious. Bobby had created an elaborate game—complete with cryptic videos, a book of numbers, and an eerie online presence—designed to seed a conspiracy theory about the massacre.
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Left with a depressing reality
- By Susan Howes on 02-22-25
By: Trevor Aaronson
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My Mom's Murder
- By: AYR Media
- Narrated by: Lauren Malloy
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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When a mysterious stranger unveils a long-hidden truth, Lauren Malloy’s life is thrown into chaos. For years, Lauren believed her mother, Lori, died of natural causes, but the shocking reality is that her loving mother was brutally murdered when Lauren was just an infant. Now, 30 years later, Lauren is on a relentless quest for justice. Over the past four years, she’s embarked on an emotional journey filled with unexpected twists, recording hundreds of hours of interviews with law enforcement, family, friends, and even potential suspects.
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Gripping
- By Emily Palmer on 10-12-24
By: AYR Media
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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The Wonder of Stevie
- By: Wesley Morris
- Narrated by: Wesley Morris, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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The year 1972 saw the beginning of a five-year span in which Stevie Wonder released five groundbreaking, critically acclaimed albums, garnering him more than half a dozen Grammys and more than 10 million albums sold, securing his place as one of the most important American musicians and songwriters in history. For the first time, uncover the untold story of an extraordinary artistic journey that shaped the greatest creative era in popular music history.
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Good but not great
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-24
By: Wesley Morris
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The Madman's Hotel
- By: Niall Breslin
- Narrated by: Niall Breslin
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
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In the heart of the rolling green hills of Ireland a huge abandoned psychiatric asylum looms large and holds its secrets close, until one family fights to find the truth about their long lost great grandmother. Presented by Irish celebrity and mental health advocate Niall Breslin - this is the untold story of the quest to find patient Julia Leonard, alongside many others, who came to die in St Loman’s Hospital near Dublin. Why was Julia in St Loman’s? And what happened to her and other patients who found themselves within its walls?
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Heart felt Remembrance
- By RosaInGlousta on 11-05-24
By: Niall Breslin
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James Baldwin: The Man and His Work
- By: Rafael Walker, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Rafael Walker
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
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Artist. Public intellectual. Political activist. James Baldwin was all of these and more. Raised in the slums of Depression-era Harlem in New York City, Baldwin would become an author and activist of international renown—one whose legacy has continued long beyond his death in 1987. Who was James Baldwin? How did he become the master of multiple literary genres and a champion for some of the era’s most notable political and social causes? And how is his influence still being felt today?
By: Rafael Walker, and others
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Ali in Me
- By: Mercury Studios, Treefort Media
- Narrated by: Lonnie Ali, John Ramsey
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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Muhammad Ali, never afraid to express himself loudly and boldly, stays true to form in Ali in Me, an eight-part audio series that explores his life and legacy, guided by his own words through never-before-heard audio recordings. Hosted by Muhammad’s widow, Lonnie Ali, and his close friend, award-winning broadcaster John Ramsey, Ali in Me goes beyond the boxing ring to delve deeply into the extraordinary life and lasting contributions The Champ made to individuals around the world.
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He went hard on everything, especially love
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 01-31-25
By: Mercury Studios, and others
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Helter Skelter
- The True Story of the Manson Murders
- By: Vincent Bugliosi, Curt Gentry
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 26 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Prosecuting attorney in the Manson trial Vincent Bugliosi held a unique insider's position in one of the most baffling and horrifying cases of the 20th century: the cold-blooded Tate-LaBianca murders carried out by Charles Manson and four of his followers. What motivated Manson in his seemingly mindless selection of victims, and what was his hold over the young women who obeyed his orders? Now available for the first time in unabridged audio, the gripping story of this famous and haunting crime is brought to life by acclaimed narrator Scott Brick.
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Everything I remembered about the case was wrong..
- By karen on 06-22-12
By: Vincent Bugliosi, and others
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
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For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
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Don and Mimi Galvin seemed to be living the American dream. After World War II, Don's work with the Air Force brought them to Colorado, where their 12 children perfectly spanned the baby boom: the oldest born in 1945, the youngest in 1965. In those years, there was an established script for a family like the Galvins—aspiration, hard work, upward mobility, domestic harmony. But behind the scenes was a different story: psychological breakdown, sudden shocking violence, hidden abuse. By the mid-1970s, six of the 10 Galvin boys, one after another, were diagnosed as schizophrenic.
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The classic, New York Times best-selling book on the psychology of racism that shows us how to talk about race in America. Walk into any racially mixed high school and you will see Black, White, and Latino youth clustered in their own groups. Is this self-segregation a problem to address or a coping strategy? How can we get past our reluctance to discuss racial issues? This fully revised edition is essential listening for anyone seeking to understand dynamics of race and racial inequality in America.
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Key Takeaway: Everything is White People's Fault
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Girl Unbroken
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They are five kids with five different fathers and an alcoholic mother who leaves them to fend for themselves for weeks at a time. Yet through it all, they have each other. Rosie, the youngest, is fawned over and shielded by her older sister, Regina. Their mother, Cookie, blows in and out of their lives "like a hurricane, blind and uncaring to everything in her path". But when Regina emancipates herself as a minor and escapes, her siblings are separated.
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Needed a different person reading aloud
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What listeners say about While You Were Out
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- Dewey
- 10-12-23
The best lived experience memoir I have ever read
I read every book like this as I work with families struggling with mental illness. This is by far the most in depth account that so accurately describes the many levels of struggle. A must read for all loved ones!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-18-24
I didn’t want it to end!
Meg Kissinger is a gifted writer, and her story is gripping, tragic and beautiful all at once.
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- kathy adams
- 12-16-23
Important Memoir!
One family’s personal journey through the struggles of mental illness. Meg is a tireless advocate for mental health using her experiences with her family and her investigative journalism skills to change the broken mental health “system”. I want to share this book with all of my family and friends!
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- Patricia Baker
- 10-04-23
Powerful and Important
Meg’s book was heartbreaking in parts and yet there was always hope. The power of sharing and talking and listening bring clarity and understanding. This will be an important resource in mental health care.
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- Damian Konopka
- 11-25-23
Wonderful addition to mental health writing
Excellent, sad, compelling and restorative stories. Invigorating and motivating for someone suffering from a mental illness.
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- Mayra L. Crespo
- 03-27-24
Meg took mental illness out of the shadows.
Fantastic uplifting book that details the reality of living with loved ones who have any type of mental illness. Despite the card they were dealt, it’s incredible how all six survivors made life work. Highly recommend this great story especially in today’s insane world.
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- Theresa Croghan
- 10-04-24
Honesty
Probably one of the most honest and important books of the decade. Beautifully written. Unapologetic and heart wrenching to read. I’m so happy you wrote this. The detail of a family that faced the biggest tragedy imaginable , twice. Very brave. Thank you
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- PCT HIKER
- 11-19-23
Very interesting book.
This was a very good read. The book had my complete attention until the final chapters. They read more like a college lecture.. As a social worker, i've worked with many homeless people. It was heart-wrenching to go to work everyday and see people living in such squalor. Each person was different and factors leading to homelessness were complicated. it's more complex than simply finding housing. Thank you to the author for telling the story of her family and bringing insight into this human tragedy.
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- Melinda C. Henning
- 10-17-23
It’s so important that this family story has been told …
… in its entirety.
I didn’t know of Meg’s journalism which stimulated significant social change. I’m very grateful for that.
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- Molly
- 11-01-23
The Unshakable Love and Unbreakable Bond of Family
This memoir is one of the best I’ve ever had the honor to read. If you have members of your family who struggle with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, this will resonate so fiercely with you too, but I also think it is important for everyone to read to better understand what that dynamic is truly about. I have such compassion and love for the Kissinger family. Their bond with one another is so special and it is a miracle for all they have been through, that they have made such beautiful families and lives of their own after such pain and sorrow. Thank you Meg for sharing this vulnerable and important story of your life.
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