While You Were Out
An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
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Narrated by:
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Meg Kissinger
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By:
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Meg Kissinger
About this listen
Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023
From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them.
Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.
But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding—a heavily medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule: never talk about it.
While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.
Powerful, candid and filled with surprising humor, this is the story of one family’s love and resilience in face of great loss.
A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books.
©2023 Meg Kissinger (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Meg Kissinger is a world-class reporter and a rip-roaring storyteller. Her heartfelt, eviscerating, deeply introspective investigation of long-held family secrets will leave you quaking with rage about our broken mental-health system—and grateful that writers like her are on the case."—Robert Kolker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road
"As a journalist, Meg Kissinger has long been shining a light on our broken mental health care system by telling the stories of people struggling with mental illness. In While You Were Out, she tells the more personal and painful narrative of the people in her own family who have struggled with mental illness. A gifted storyteller, Kissinger reminds us, in the words of her deceased brother, 'Only love and understanding can conquer this disease.'"—Tom Insel, MD, Former Director of the National Institute of Mental Health
"Frank and revelatory, While You Were Out is a story of overwhelming power, chronicling the kind of American tragedy that feels both aberrant and ever-present."—Rachel Aviv, author of Strangers to Ourselves
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- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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Enlightening story & a must read
- By Patsy on 10-07-24
By: Ben Austen
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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Flannery O'Connor and the Scandal of Faith
- By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Jessica Hooten Wilson
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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Across six revealing lectures, Professor Jessica Hooten Wilson will introduce you to one of the 20th century’s most fascinating and divisive writers in Flannery O’Connor and the Scandal of Faith. Beginning with an overview of her brief but remarkable life, Professor Wilson will then take you through an exploration of themes in O’Connor’s work and the hallmarks of her literary style. You’ll get a clearer picture of O’Connor’s historical and geographical context while digging into how her stories can transcend time and place.
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Fascinating life cut short
- By KRoss on 11-21-24
By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, and others
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Episodes
- The True Story of Two Friends & One Diagnosis
- By: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Narrated by: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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In Episodes, lifelong best friends Kat and Mara take listeners on an unfiltered journey through friendship, mental illness, and survival. Kat, a successful professional, is preparing for marriage and motherhood. On her fourth round of IVF, it happened—a frantic call to Mara. Mara comes over to find Kat, her friend of 25 years—the one who'd always been levelheaded, hilarious, and over-the-top thoughtful—trying to jump through a window.
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Just listen!
- By AJ on 11-17-24
By: Mara Altman, and others
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Heroes Behind Headlines
- Only the Brave
- By: Ralph Pezzullo
- Narrated by: Ralph Pezzullo
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
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How did DEA agents orchestrate the capture of one of the world’s most wanted weapons dealers? How does an all-female, unarmed group of rangers stop poachers from killing South Africa’s most majestic wild animals? And how did a scrappy crew of soldiers help desperate Afghans escape Kabul during the Taliban’s rapid takeover? Welcome to Heroes Behind Headlines: Only the Brave, where host Ralph Pezzullo takes you on deep dives into extraordinary true stories, told to you by the experts and the brave men and women who lived them.
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Great interview format
- By Ronald Gauvin on 11-21-24
By: Ralph Pezzullo
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
- By: Ben Austen, Harrison David Rivers
- Narrated by: Ben Austen, Patina Miller, Harry Lennix, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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Chicago Housibg
- By Ruby on 11-21-24
By: Ben Austen, and others
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten
- By: Ventureland
- Narrated by: Susan Fensten
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Original Recording
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Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten is the gripping true story of one woman's quest for long lost family. After the deaths of her sister and estranged father, Susan searches for relatives on an early online genealogy forum. When she meets cousins from her grandfather's other family, they're everything she'd hoped for—until it all goes to hell.
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Harrowing Case, Excellent Production
- By C Lopez on 07-12-24
By: Ventureland
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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How I Get It Done
- By: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Narrated by: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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In a series of deeply moving and inspiring conversations, host Shereen Marisol Meraji connects with successful women from all walks of life to reveal how they manage their careers and every aspect of their lives. Based on the long-running column from The Cut and New York Magazine.
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Relatable, helpful, and beautifully produced.
- By Anonymous User on 09-07-24
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Another Kind of Madness
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Families are riddled with untold secrets. But Stephen Hinshaw never imagined that a profound secret was kept under lock and key for 18 years within his family - that his father's mysterious absences, for months at a time, resulted from serious mental illness and involuntary hospitalizations. From the moment his father revealed the truth, during Hinshaw's first spring break from college, he knew his life would change forever.
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Hood Feminism
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Today's feminist movement has a glaring blind spot, and paradoxically, it is women. Mainstream feminists rarely talk about meeting basic needs as a feminist issue, argues Mikki Kendall, but food insecurity, access to quality education, safe neighborhoods, a living wage, and medical care are all feminist issues. All too often, however, the focus is not on basic survival for the many, but on increasing privilege for the few. Author Mikki Kendall takes aim at the legitimacy of the modern feminist movement arguing that it has chronically failed to address the needs of all but a few women.
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In 1954, researchers at the newly formed National Institute of Mental Health set out to study the genetics of schizophrenia. When they got word that four 24-year-old identical quadruplets in Lansing, Michigan, had all been diagnosed with the mental illness, they could hardly believe their ears. Here was incontrovertible proof of hereditary transmission and, thus, a chance to bring international fame to their fledgling institution.
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Echoing among the Blue Ridge Mountains were the cries of newborn babies that disappeared into the night. The screams of children nearly drowned out by the sound of crickets. A girl, hidden and waiting to be found, terrified, and confused. The fireflies sparkling in the woods, bringing light to darkled places.
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Beautiful Story
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Notes on a Silencing
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Everything about this book is magnificent
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Empire of Pain
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The prize-winning and best-selling author of Say Nothing presents a grand, devastating portrait of three generations of the Sackler family, famed for their philanthropy, whose fortune was built by Valium and whose reputation was destroyed by OxyContin. Empire of Pain is a masterpiece of narrative reporting and writing, exhaustively documented and ferociously compelling.
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Full Account of the Sackler Conspiracy
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Freedom Is a Constant Struggle
- Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement
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- Narrated by: Angela Davis, Coleen Marlo
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In these newly collected essays, interviews, and speeches, world-renowned activist and scholar Angela Y. Davis illuminates the connections between struggles against state violence and oppression throughout history and around the world. Reflecting on the importance of Black feminism, intersectionality, and prison abolitionism for today's struggles, Davis discusses the legacies of previous liberation struggles - from the Black freedom movement to the South African antiapartheid movement.
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Injustice anywhere is Injustice everywhere
- By Jarucia Jaycox on 05-05-17
By: Angela Y. Davis
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"Prisons Make Us Safer"
- And 20 Other Myths About Mass Incarceration
- By: Victoria Law
- Narrated by: Melissa Moran
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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The United States incarcerates more of its residents than any other nation. Though home to five percent of the global population, the United States has nearly 25 percent of the world’s prisoners - a total of over two million people. This number continues to steadily rise. Over the past 40 years, the number of people behind bars in the United States has increased by 500 percent.
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Leftist propaganda
- By Claude Bacchia on 04-21-21
By: Victoria Law
What listeners say about While You Were Out
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dewey
- 10-12-23
The best lived experience memoir I have ever read
I read every book like this as I work with families struggling with mental illness. This is by far the most in depth account that so accurately describes the many levels of struggle. A must read for all loved ones!
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-18-24
I didn’t want it to end!
Meg Kissinger is a gifted writer, and her story is gripping, tragic and beautiful all at once.
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- PCT HIKER
- 11-19-23
Very interesting book.
This was a very good read. The book had my complete attention until the final chapters. They read more like a college lecture.. As a social worker, i've worked with many homeless people. It was heart-wrenching to go to work everyday and see people living in such squalor. Each person was different and factors leading to homelessness were complicated. it's more complex than simply finding housing. Thank you to the author for telling the story of her family and bringing insight into this human tragedy.
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- Melinda C. Henning
- 10-17-23
It’s so important that this family story has been told …
… in its entirety.
I didn’t know of Meg’s journalism which stimulated significant social change. I’m very grateful for that.
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- Molly
- 11-01-23
The Unshakable Love and Unbreakable Bond of Family
This memoir is one of the best I’ve ever had the honor to read. If you have members of your family who struggle with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, this will resonate so fiercely with you too, but I also think it is important for everyone to read to better understand what that dynamic is truly about. I have such compassion and love for the Kissinger family. Their bond with one another is so special and it is a miracle for all they have been through, that they have made such beautiful families and lives of their own after such pain and sorrow. Thank you Meg for sharing this vulnerable and important story of your life.
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- Mary
- 12-16-23
A wonderful listen by the author herself! WOW
Loved every word! Exceptional read. An exceptional family true story saga. Perseverance, unconditional love and family strength.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-17-24
Rich, sometimes very sad and extremely well made.
The personal story. The reading of it. The crafting of it. It was like speaking to a good friend who has suffered in a way that you have and understands. It doesn’t stop there, but digs deeper and it’s more thorough in trying to understand the mortality that was held against the bones.
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- kathy adams
- 12-16-23
Important Memoir!
One family’s personal journey through the struggles of mental illness. Meg is a tireless advocate for mental health using her experiences with her family and her investigative journalism skills to change the broken mental health “system”. I want to share this book with all of my family and friends!
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- Patricia Baker
- 10-04-23
Powerful and Important
Meg’s book was heartbreaking in parts and yet there was always hope. The power of sharing and talking and listening bring clarity and understanding. This will be an important resource in mental health care.
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- Damian Konopka
- 11-25-23
Wonderful addition to mental health writing
Excellent, sad, compelling and restorative stories. Invigorating and motivating for someone suffering from a mental illness.
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