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NurtureShock

By: Po Bronson, Ashley Merryman
Narrated by: Po Bronson
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Publisher's summary

Audie Award, Personal Development, 2010

In a world of modern, involved, caring parents, why are so many kids aggressive and cruel? Where is intelligence hidden in the brain, and why does that matter? Why do cross-racial friendships decrease in schools that are more integrated? If 98% of kids think lying is morally wrong, then why do 98% of kids lie? What's the single most important thing that helps infants learn language?

NurtureShock is a groundbreaking collaboration between award-winning science journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. They argue that when it comes to children, we've mistaken good intentions for good ideas. With impeccable storytelling and razor-sharp analysis, they demonstrate that many of modern society's strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring - because key twists in the science have been overlooked.

Nothing like a parenting manual, the authors' work is an insightful exploration of themes and issues that transcend children's (and adults') lives.

©2009 Po Bronson (P)2009 Hachette
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Editorial reviews

Starting with the introduction, in a loving, but firm voice, journalist and author Po Bronson delivers the bad news to parents: everything you know about parenting is wrong.

Bronson and collaborator Ashley Merryman willingly indict themselves, along with all of American society, in that collective "you", as they confront again and again our abundant misconceptions about parenting and the nature of children, when exploring the newest research findings in the science of child development.

Bronson and Merryman do not debate the existence of a biological imperative to nurture. in fact, they wholeheartedly accept that all parents possess the innate instinct to "nurture and protect" their kids, and even report that current research supports the location of this impulse in the brain with physical evidence. instead, the book, and its title, are meant to invoke the shock most new parents experience when they open up their bundles of joy, eager to get started and realize the manual is missing.

As a guilty participant in many of the contemporary parenting practices referred to in the book, it was a pleasure to receive my verbal spanking in Bronson's nebbish and neighborly tone, rather than the authoritative and detached voice of yet another social scientist detailing the 10 new ways i'm failing as a mother.

Perhaps because he himself admits to being "father knows less", rather than best, i was better able to withstand his slaughter of a wide range of our current parenting sacred cows, such as:

  • kids are positively powered by praise (then why do so many run out of self-esteem?)
  • too much TV makes children fat (actually, it's too-little sleep), but at least today's gentle programming is making them less aggressive (wrong, again!)
  • and my child is color-blind when it comes to race (blind maybe, but not deaf or dumb)

Bronson's steady and measured narration moves the serious subject matter along nicely and creates an atmosphere of inclusion and intimacy for the reader not easily achieved with nonfiction. We can share his sincere surprise, evident in his voice, when confronted with the many 360-degree reversals in thinking that the latest research demands.

i do wish Ms. Merryman had shared in the narration of the book, if only for a glimpse into her personal feelings on each topic. But it's easy to believe their assertion that they were moved to change their own parenting and teaching practices inspired by their findings. i've already made subtle changes in dealing with my seven-year old based on Chapter 4, "Why Kids Lie", with remarkable success. Lisa Duggan

Critic reviews

"A provocative collection of essays popularizing recent research that challenges conventional wisdom about raising children...[Bronson and Merryman] ably explore a range of subjects of interest to parents... Their findings are often surprising." ( Kirkus)

What listeners say about NurtureShock

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Excellent Book, Not a Great Audiobook

I am a fan of Po Bronson's writing; turns out his reading... not so much. Still, if you're not going to read this book, you should at least listen to it, especially if you are a parent or teacher. The problem with Bronson's reading, and this may not bother other people, is that every single sentence has at least one word on which he puts great emphasis. Every single sentence. After ten or fifteen minutes, this cadence becomes a little annoying. And this book is eight hours long...

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Yeah, I kind of knew that already..

As a new parent, I felt like reading about children even though I find the general purpose of this unclear given that knowing what to do is the easier, but doing it is a different story.

NurtureShock is sold off as "new thinking" but, to be honest, there's nothing very new about anything there and I was telling a friend about what the book said and that person wasn't surprised. Certainly, praising a child's intelligence might increase the fear of failing. Sure, indifference can be worse than fight. And, yes, it's good to interact/speak with baby.

This is not so much new thinking, as mainly everybody knows what is there, but a question of whether parents are really willing to do it; as I said, knowing something does not mean you would like to do it. Most parents might want their kid to feel good about themselves, not maximize intellectual prowess, or do not want to be facing constant fights between siblings, or do not want to be constantly exchanging with baby. I am not saying that that these are good things, but that presenting these as grand insights are like teaching that eating burgers every day is probably not the best diet choice.




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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great stats and studies!

Although some of the studies and the delivery of their results takes a little while, they are totally worthwhile!
Great insights and understanding of tots to teens, and some of it I'll definitely use in my future as a Father. loved the studies and the fact that the results are not what you'd expect, and at times counter intuitive. Helps me realise that as a society we are not all correct all the time and we Can get caught up in fads that will fade out.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Nurture Shock is enlightening

The book openned up the readers mind to look at child rearing differently and also blew open some of the myths that have captured our culture. I feel as if what feels natural is what works...and so much of what we have done really was unnatural and did not work as we would have exprected. Good read if you are a parent ....

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Helps to expand our minds and well worth my time

I'm always looking for a better way help my family and I know I dont have all the answers. This helped expand my mind a little more. I try to get at least one lesson from a book. I now praise my kids in a better way.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

great


Nurture Shock was full of new and valuable info both as a parent and a human.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Thought-provoking, but needed a pro narrator

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

There are a lot of ideas in here that I thought were spot-on. Some examples are the inverse power of praise, that children are significantly affected by a lack of sleep, etc. It is a very worthwhile read for parents and teachers. I have read some legitimate criticisms of this book, but I would take those with a grain of salt. Some reviewers have said that it lacks scientific support for the conclusions it draws, but I don't think this book claims to be an airtight meta-analysis. A book like this is meant to be thought-provoking, and it should not be taken as child-rearing Gospel. Nor should any other parenting book out there. For what it's worth, this book references way more decent studies than do most parenting books.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Po Bronson is clearly dedicated to the material he is presenting, but I think he did this book a disservice by not hiring a professional reader. His cadence is off-putting, and I swear that it sounds like he is baby-talking the listener half the time. Had I not been really, really interested in the content, I would not have finished listening to this. I would strongly recommend reading this book, not listening to it.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Why didn't I have this book sooner?

Parenthood carries a load of guilt--for all the things we did wrong--and this book doesn't help. But I loved it anyway. I bought it for 4 of my friends immediately. It is non-fiction, but a page-turner all the same.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Very different look at parenting

i enjoyed the different perspective on parenting

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Fascinating and Highly Recommended

If you are a parent, I recommend this book very highly. The section around sleep and it's connection to grades and depression was especially important. "Tools for the Mind" was a fascinating look at early childhood learning. This book has influenced my perspectives on parenting greatly. If you like Gladwell's books or the Freakonomics books, this will be right up your alley.

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