Rabbit Heart
A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Story
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Narrated by:
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Hillary Huber
About this listen
A Washington Post “Most Anticipated” Book of the Year • A New York Times “Must Read”
For readers of My Dark Places and The Fact of a Body, a beautiful, brutal memoir documenting one woman’s search for identity alongside her family's decades-long quest to identify the two men who abducted—and murdered—her mother
"This graceful resulting memoir wrestles with failures of justice; the nuances of gendered violence; and the difficulty of making do when we are not whole."—Elle
Kristine S. Ervin was just eight years old when her mother, Kathy Sue Engle, was abducted from an Oklahoma mall parking lot and violently murdered in an oil field. First, there was grief. Then the desire to know: what happened to her, what she felt in her last terrible moments, and all she was before these acts of violence defined her life.
In her mother’s absence, Ervin tries to reconstruct a woman she can never fully grasp—from her own memory, from letters she uncovers, and from the stories of other family members. As more information about her mother's death comes to light, Ervin’s drive to know her mother only intensifies, winding into her own fraught adolescence. She reckons with contradictions of what a woman is allowed to be—a self beyond the roles of wife, mother, daughter, victim—what a “true” victim is supposed to look like, and, finally, how complicated and elusive justice can be.
Told fearlessly and poetically, Rabbit Heart weaves together themes of power, gender, and justice into a manifesto of grief and reclamation: our stories do not need to be simple to be true, and there is power in the telling.
©2024 Kristine S. Ervin (P)2024 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"The author’s investigations of the concept of victimhood are insightful and urgent . . . Ervin laces the poetic text with unforgettable moments of startling, shattering honesty, many of which feel impossible to witness. This is the genius of the author’s prose and what makes this book remarkable: Ervin’s unflinchingly brutal gaze, combined with her insistence on facing the worst parts of her past, make it equally impossible for us to look away."—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"Poet and essayist Ervin grapples in her moving debut memoir with the emotional damage caused by a parent’s violent death . . . In lucid prose, Ervin unflinchingly documents her grief and untangles how her mother’s murder impacted myriad aspects of her life. This will haunt readers long after they’ve turned the last page."—Publishers Weekly
“There are some books that are written to avoid the brutality of the world and other books that capture with an uncanny clarity the inescapable truth. Kristine S. Ervin froze me in my tracks from the first page of her startling and transfixing memoir, a work fueled by a daughter’s undying love for her mother and a refusal to stay silent about violence. Rabbit Heart will stay with me forever.”—Michele Filgate, editor of What My Mother and I Don't Talk About
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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21 Days to Believe in Yourself
- By: Michelle Poler
- Narrated by: Michelle Poler
- Length: 1 hr and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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21 Days to Believe In Yourself creates a space for people to take a look inside and, little by little, dare to bring what they find to the surface. By asking the right questions, the audience will get in touch with their most authentic selves and from a place of self-acceptance, fully own who they really are.
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Absolutely 💯 loved it!
- By Royal on 12-20-24
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Natural Rapid Weight Loss, Lose Weight Faster with Hypnosis, Meditation, and Affirmations
- The Sleep Learning System
- By: Joel Thielke
- Narrated by: Joel Thielke
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
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Naturally lose weight fast and get the body you've been wanting. Stop old habits in their tracks, shed pounds now, and feel amazing. Rapid weight loss is yours today with this powerful guided meditation program from the Sleep Learning System and world-renowned hypnotherapist Joel Thielke.
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My new favorite hypnosis audio!
- By Penny on 04-03-16
By: Joel Thielke
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
By: Mark Manson
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Not Nice
- Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 18 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
- By Shannon Slater on 12-07-18
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Worthy
- How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
- By: Jamie Kern Lima
- Narrated by: Jamie Kern Lima
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
- By Diana Yin on 02-22-24
By: Jamie Kern Lima
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A large missing piece
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Felt like a missed opportunity
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Toxic Exposure
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For years, Monsanto declared that their product Roundup, the world’s most widely used weed killer, was safe. But that all changed in 2015, when the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) analyzed data from scientific studies and concluded that glyphosate, the active ingredient in Roundup, was probably carcinogenic. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) disagreed, other regulatory agencies got involved, and scientists clamored to understand the link between glyphosate and cancer.
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What an amazing story
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What listeners say about Rabbit Heart
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- COJoebro
- 06-09-24
Mixed Experience
Ms. Ervin took risks in telling her story. I am sorry for the horrific, violent murder of her mother! I don’t underestimate what it might’ve taken to share such a personal story. I regret to say, it wasn’t the listen I hoped for. there were definitely some strengths but there was a fragmented quality to the narrative. I don’t know if that was intentional, it might’ve been a way to convey the quality of trauma. Also, that quality of fragmentation could be a way to show that some thing about the author’s mother was always out of reach. This is a moment in time when I receive information about the power of women differently than I did before the Dobbs Decision. I just didn’t find it to be paced with the reader in mind. There was a great deal of disclosure in the book. The listener gets insight into some very personal situations and painful ones at that. Still, disclosure and intimacy aren’t synonymous. The book conflates those conflates those qualities.
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- Miss T
- 11-30-24
The author’s candor.
As an Oklahoman, I was a teen when this happened. As a reader of true crime books, documentaries, reports for decades before it became such a popular, albeit macabre interest, my experience is that the truest understanding of a crime and all its ripples, comes when I hear it from a living victim’s POV - from the perspective of a loved one left behind.
The author draws readers in by articulately and really sharing her life experiences and how they were impacted by her mother’s violent, torturous abduction, rape, & murder. I pray it was cathartic for her & wish to thank her for finding the words to convey her unabashedly shared truth. That could not have been an easy task.
I lost my oldest brother to murder, in Tulsa no less, when I was barely 17. His violent death colored my life as well. However, even if death hadn’t touched my life at such a young age, I believe I’d have still related to the author’s pain & poor decisions simply because she took me there, as a teen and as a woman. It is somehow comforting to know that I am not alone in my, often misguided & self-harming, life decisions. Thank you for entrusting readers with your story, your Mom’s story.
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- John
- 04-02-24
Powerful and Necessary
This is a necessary read for men. Period.
Read. To. The. Very. End.
Otherwise it will feel incomplete.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-17-24
Truly
This is genuinely one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. The author has written about women’s bodies and their perception in society with a brutally honest, and much needed bluntness, not willing to skip over important details to make others feel “more comfortable”. She also manages to convey such a powerful statement in a beautifully poetic manner, that helps to show how greif truly is not linear. I would have been satisfied hearing her story alone, but her ability to weave her mother’s story into it, then finish the book with heartwarming closure was truly a piece of art.
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- Claire P.
- 05-05-24
Generational Trauma, Unpacked
This book is a tough listen. The author’s mother’s death is the starting point but it’s how that death reverberates through her family that is the more harrowing read.
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- Grace
- 04-15-24
Well written interesting story
I bought this because I love memoir and live in the same town as the university the author teaches at. You can tell she is an English professor as it is well written. I appreciated the honesty and the story was interesting. My only critique is that it was repetitive at points. Worthwhile listen.
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- Delphine C. Lucas
- 06-10-24
Groundbreaking
I was drawn to the book, as my own mother was a victim of a vicious attack in 1965 (never solved). Consequently she died an untimely death when I was a teenager. I am now in my 70’s and play and replay scenes of my childhood. I was very surprised at the many parallels of this story and my own life. It took unbelievable courage to write a book like this. The author gave a voice to something that few can speak about. I really appreciate this book.
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- Be Anonymous
- 08-15-24
Poignant
The victim’s family journey is realistically told. The repercussions of crime on the survivors is not well understood by the public. It’s sad that criminals have carte blanch in many cases. And it’s sadder that crimes against women are often discounted.
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- Liz Mc
- 05-25-24
The best part of this book is the title
She hates men and is incapable of digesting anyone else’s opinions or feelings. The end.
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- Grace O'Malley
- 07-07-24
Hard to finish
I felt the author did a very good job describing the life of the family and especially her mother before the mother was murdered when the author was eight years old. Her telling of the experience of getting the news and trying to absorb it is well done and vivid. She conveys the efforts of a child to integrate a shattered reality and move forward without the support and guidance of a loving mother. My problem with the book began with the author's adolescence which (in my opinion) is described primarily in terms of her sexuality and how she based her self-worth on these experiences. Obviously, this is an important and challenging time in anyone's life, but I hoped for a broader view of her life beyond the men she knew. This may be the primary way the author remembers those years, but I felt the reader's experience was not considered. It's a long segment of the book and it is told with tunnel vision. From this point on, the book lagged and was very repetitious, which is a shame because in earlier pages the author keeps the book moving forward in a vivid way. Another (to me, fatal) problem is that the author becomes virtually narcissistic in describing her adult years and I found myself not wanting to spend any more time in her "company". Oddly, there are countless references to her Ph.D., and events are placed in time by where she was in the timeline of getting it. I have the same degree and don't refer to it gratuitously...what would be the point? One or two mentions would have been fine, but she apparently wants the reader to see her in a certain way and leaves nothing to chance.
When, after twenty years of suffering, the murderer is finally arrested, the family is expected to make some sort of statement to the press. The author opines that because she has a Ph.D. (that again) and has years of experience teaching creative writing she should write and deliver the statement. Father and brother agree, ok, she can write the statement. Her brother (who has become a judge, no slouch!) is not expected to read it because he becomes emotional when speaking of the loss of his mother. Author believes her father should also be excused because SHE is writing the statement, they are her words, and they belong to her! Her father, whom she describes as old and getting frail, firmly says that "in the interest of patriarchy" he will read the statement. The author is livid, it is just another example of a man taking her work, her words, her feelings away from her. (This is a theme also when she writes of her feelings about the men who kidnapped and killed her mother, and of the men who have sexually assaulted her.) Her father prevails (I suspect he may have meant to say "patrimony" but that wouldn't have been much better). He reads the author's words to the press and she reports that he did not do a good job. He paused when he shouldn't have and his delivery could have been much smoother. She again refers to the years she has spent speaking to classes of students and believes she should have been the choice to speak for the family. At this point, I thought "this woman needed therapy years ago", and felt that I was lost on a sea of narcissism. My caring for the author and the horrible gash that was made in her life at such a tender age, and admiration for her ability to beautifully convey sensations, experiences, and emotions came to an end at this point. I believe this book needed a major editing. It's understandable that a trauma victim will focus at length on the sequelae of a terrible wounding. But the reader of a memoir is owed a well-edited book about a person they can care about and spend hours with. That person certainly doesn't need to be perfect, but it is painful to experience many hours with a person stuck to this degree. We always hope for some growth and insight.
Having said all this, Hillary Huber did a terrific job reading this book. I will certainly look for more books she has narrated.
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