
Rabbit Heart
A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Story
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
3 months free
Buy for $25.00
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Hillary Huber
About this listen
A Washington Post “Most Anticipated” Book of the Year • A New York Times “Must Read”
For readers of My Dark Places and The Fact of a Body, a beautiful, brutal memoir documenting one woman’s search for identity alongside her family's decades-long quest to identify the two men who abducted—and murdered—her mother
"This graceful resulting memoir wrestles with failures of justice; the nuances of gendered violence; and the difficulty of making do when we are not whole."—Elle
Kristine S. Ervin was just eight years old when her mother, Kathy Sue Engle, was abducted from an Oklahoma mall parking lot and violently murdered in an oil field. First, there was grief. Then the desire to know: what happened to her, what she felt in her last terrible moments, and all she was before these acts of violence defined her life.
In her mother’s absence, Ervin tries to reconstruct a woman she can never fully grasp—from her own memory, from letters she uncovers, and from the stories of other family members. As more information about her mother's death comes to light, Ervin’s drive to know her mother only intensifies, winding into her own fraught adolescence. She reckons with contradictions of what a woman is allowed to be—a self beyond the roles of wife, mother, daughter, victim—what a “true” victim is supposed to look like, and, finally, how complicated and elusive justice can be.
Told fearlessly and poetically, Rabbit Heart weaves together themes of power, gender, and justice into a manifesto of grief and reclamation: our stories do not need to be simple to be true, and there is power in the telling.
©2024 Kristine S. Ervin (P)2024 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
I Cannot Control Everything Forever
- A Memoir of Motherhood, Science, and Art
- By: Emily C. Bloom
- Narrated by: Emily C. Bloom
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions. Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood.
-
-
A lovely mix of science and memoir - even for a non-parent
- By Catemckenz on 06-10-24
By: Emily C. Bloom
-
Whale Fall
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth O'Connor
- Narrated by: Dyfrig Morris, Gabrielle Glaister, Gwyneth Keyworth, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1938, a dead whale washes up on the shores of remote Welsh island. For Manod, who has spent her whole life on the island, it feels like both a portent of doom and a symbol of what may lie beyond the island's shores. A young woman living with her father and her sister (to whom she has reluctantly but devotedly become a mother following the death of their own mother years prior), Manod can't shake her welling desire to explore life beyond the beautiful yet blisteringly harsh islands that her hardscrabble family has called home for generations.
-
-
Excellent book for audible
- By Lilly on 01-01-25
-
Murderland
- Crime and Bloodlust in the Time of Serial Killers
- By: Caroline Fraser
- Narrated by: Patty Nieman
- Length: 16 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Caroline Fraser grew up in the shadow of Ted Bundy, the most notorious serial murderer of women in American history, surrounded by his hunting grounds and mountain body dumps, in the brooding landscape of the Pacific Northwest. But in the 1970s and ’80s, Bundy was just one perpetrator amid an uncanny explosion of serial rape and murder across the region. Why so many? Why so weirdly and nightmarishly gruesome? Why the senseless rise and then sudden fall of an epidemic of serial killing?
-
-
Washington’s dark secrets
- By Erica J. on 06-18-25
By: Caroline Fraser
-
The Good Mother Myth
- Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom
- By: Nancy Reddy
- Narrated by: Sara Sheckells
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong? For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting.
-
-
Wish I had found this with my first
- By JM on 02-05-25
By: Nancy Reddy
-
Cabin
- Off the Grid Adventures with a Clueless Craftsman
- By: Patrick Hutchison
- Narrated by: Patrick Hutchison
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wit’s End isn’t just a state of mind. It’s the name of a gravel road, the address of a rundown, off-the-grid cabin, 120 shabby square feet of fixer-upper Patrick Hutchison purchased on a whim in the mossy woods of the Cascade Mountains in Washington state. To say Hutchison didn’t know what he was getting into is no more an exaggeration than to say he’s a man with nearly zero carpentry skills. Well, used to be. You can learn a lot over six years of renovations. CABIN is the story of those renovations, but it's also a love story; of a place, of possibilities, and of the process of construction.
-
-
Enjoyable read. no see, some F-bombs Great experience
- By Richelle's Music on 04-23-25
-
Hell If We Don't Change Our Ways
- A Memoir
- By: Brittany Means
- Narrated by: Brittany Means, Benjamin White
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Brittany Means’s childhood was a blur of highways and traumas that collapsed any effort to track time. Riding shotgun as her mother struggled to escape abusive relationships, Brittany didn’t care where they were going. But as Brittany grew older and questioned her own complicated relationships and the poverty, abuse, and instability that enveloped her, she began to recognize that hell wasn’t only the place she read about in the Bible; it was the cycle of violence that entrapped her family.
-
-
Read if you want to be more compassionate towards others…
- By Ambar Gavidia on 02-12-24
By: Brittany Means
-
I Cannot Control Everything Forever
- A Memoir of Motherhood, Science, and Art
- By: Emily C. Bloom
- Narrated by: Emily C. Bloom
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions. Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood.
-
-
A lovely mix of science and memoir - even for a non-parent
- By Catemckenz on 06-10-24
By: Emily C. Bloom
-
Whale Fall
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth O'Connor
- Narrated by: Dyfrig Morris, Gabrielle Glaister, Gwyneth Keyworth, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1938, a dead whale washes up on the shores of remote Welsh island. For Manod, who has spent her whole life on the island, it feels like both a portent of doom and a symbol of what may lie beyond the island's shores. A young woman living with her father and her sister (to whom she has reluctantly but devotedly become a mother following the death of their own mother years prior), Manod can't shake her welling desire to explore life beyond the beautiful yet blisteringly harsh islands that her hardscrabble family has called home for generations.
-
-
Excellent book for audible
- By Lilly on 01-01-25
-
Murderland
- Crime and Bloodlust in the Time of Serial Killers
- By: Caroline Fraser
- Narrated by: Patty Nieman
- Length: 16 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Caroline Fraser grew up in the shadow of Ted Bundy, the most notorious serial murderer of women in American history, surrounded by his hunting grounds and mountain body dumps, in the brooding landscape of the Pacific Northwest. But in the 1970s and ’80s, Bundy was just one perpetrator amid an uncanny explosion of serial rape and murder across the region. Why so many? Why so weirdly and nightmarishly gruesome? Why the senseless rise and then sudden fall of an epidemic of serial killing?
-
-
Washington’s dark secrets
- By Erica J. on 06-18-25
By: Caroline Fraser
-
The Good Mother Myth
- Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom
- By: Nancy Reddy
- Narrated by: Sara Sheckells
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong? For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting.
-
-
Wish I had found this with my first
- By JM on 02-05-25
By: Nancy Reddy
-
Cabin
- Off the Grid Adventures with a Clueless Craftsman
- By: Patrick Hutchison
- Narrated by: Patrick Hutchison
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wit’s End isn’t just a state of mind. It’s the name of a gravel road, the address of a rundown, off-the-grid cabin, 120 shabby square feet of fixer-upper Patrick Hutchison purchased on a whim in the mossy woods of the Cascade Mountains in Washington state. To say Hutchison didn’t know what he was getting into is no more an exaggeration than to say he’s a man with nearly zero carpentry skills. Well, used to be. You can learn a lot over six years of renovations. CABIN is the story of those renovations, but it's also a love story; of a place, of possibilities, and of the process of construction.
-
-
Enjoyable read. no see, some F-bombs Great experience
- By Richelle's Music on 04-23-25
-
Hell If We Don't Change Our Ways
- A Memoir
- By: Brittany Means
- Narrated by: Brittany Means, Benjamin White
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Brittany Means’s childhood was a blur of highways and traumas that collapsed any effort to track time. Riding shotgun as her mother struggled to escape abusive relationships, Brittany didn’t care where they were going. But as Brittany grew older and questioned her own complicated relationships and the poverty, abuse, and instability that enveloped her, she began to recognize that hell wasn’t only the place she read about in the Bible; it was the cycle of violence that entrapped her family.
-
-
Read if you want to be more compassionate towards others…
- By Ambar Gavidia on 02-12-24
By: Brittany Means
-
Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
-
-
The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
-
Memorial Days
- A Memoir
- By: Geraldine Brooks
- Narrated by: Geraldine Brooks
- Length: 4 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Many cultural and religious traditions expect those who are grieving to step away from the world. In contemporary life, we are more often met with red tape and to-do lists. This is exactly what happened to Geraldine Brooks when her partner of more than three decades, Tony Horwitz–just sixty years old and, to her knowledge, vigorous and healthy–collapsed and died on a Washington, D. C. sidewalk.
-
-
Uninspired, mediocre writing.
- By C. Tyler on 03-04-25
By: Geraldine Brooks
-
No Visible Bruises
- What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
- By: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Narrated by: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a 'global epidemic'. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths....
-
-
Not yet ready
- By Alyssa E. on 05-17-19
-
Consent
- A Memoir
- By: Jill Ciment
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this close-up look at the ardent love affair between the author and her painting teacher, which began in the 1970s, when she was seventeen and he was forty-seven and married with two children, Ciment not only reflects on how their love ignited (who leaned in first for that kiss?) but interrogates her 1990s memoir on the subject, Half a Life. She asks herself if she told the whole truth when she wrote about their passion back then, and what truth looked like to her in the even longer-ago era of love-bead curtains when she fell in love.
-
-
Intimate Story Well-told
- By Hard2Please on 06-29-24
By: Jill Ciment
-
Zenith Man
- Death, Love & Redemption in a Georgia Courtroom
- By: McCracken Poston Jr.
- Narrated by: Lee Goettl
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In October 1997, the town of Ringgold, Georgia, was shaken by reports of a murder in its midst. A dead woman was found in Alvin Ridley's house—and even more shockingly, she was the wife no one knew he had.
-
-
Tedious and Laborious Repetition
- By LakeFront on 10-10-24
-
The Good Wife
- The Shocking Betrayal and Brutal Murder of a Godly Woman in Texas
- By: Clint Richmond
- Narrated by: Stephen Bowlby
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Roger and Penny Scaggs seemed a poster couple for family values. Evangelical Christians living in booming Austin, Texas, in the mid-1990s, they were respected leaders in their church and community. As Roger diligently worked his way up the high-tech corporate ladder, Penny kept a pristine home and coached similarly devout young women on how to be perfect wives. But on a windy March evening, this godly woman met the devil head-on.
-
-
Great True Crime Book
- By Elizabeth on 04-12-23
By: Clint Richmond
-
My Friends
- A Novel
- By: Hisham Matar
- Narrated by: Hisham Matar
- Length: 13 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One evening, as a young boy growing up in Benghazi, Khaled hears a bizarre short story read aloud on the radio, about a man being eaten alive by a cat, and has the sense that his life has been changed forever. Obsessed by the power of those words—and by their enigmatic author, Hosam Zowa—Khaled eventually embarks on a journey that will take him far from home, to pursue a life of the mind at the University of Edinburgh.
-
-
Beautifully written
- By Anonymous User on 06-24-24
By: Hisham Matar
-
No One Gets to Fall Apart
- A Memoir
- By: Sarah LaBrie
- Narrated by: Sarah LaBrie
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a highway in Houston, Texas, Sarah LaBrie’s mother was found screaming at passing cars, terrified she would be murdered by invisible assailants. The diagnosis of schizophrenia that followed compelled Sarah to rethink her childhood, marked at turns by violence and all-consuming closeness. Digging into the events that led to her mother’s break, Sarah traces her family history of mental illness, from the dysphoria that plagued her great-grandmother, a granddaughter of slaves, to her own experience with depression as a scholarship student at Brown.
-
-
I loved it so much
- By Mildred Bright on 11-23-24
By: Sarah LaBrie
-
The Return
- Fathers, Sons and the Land in Between
- By: Hisham Matar
- Narrated by: Hisham Matar
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Hisham Matar was a 19-year-old university student in England, his father was kidnapped. One of the Qaddafi regime's most prominent opponents in exile, he was held in a secret prison in Libya. Hisham would never see him again. But he never gave up hope that his father might still be alive. "Hope," as he writes, "is cunning and persistent." Twenty-two years later, after the fall of Qaddafi, the prison cells were empty, and there was no sign of Jaballa Matar. Hisham returned with his mother and wife to the homeland he never thought he'd go back to again.
-
-
Touching memoir. Consider hard copy
- By Joschka Philipps on 02-22-18
By: Hisham Matar
-
We Were Once a Family
- A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America
- By: Roxanna Asgarian
- Narrated by: Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored.
-
-
Biased
- By Amazon Customer on 10-05-23
By: Roxanna Asgarian
-
The Night Guest
- By: Hildur Knútsdóttir, Mary Robinette Kowal - translator
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 2 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Iðunn is in yet another doctor's office. She knows her constant fatigue is a sign that something's not right, but practitioners dismiss her symptoms and blood tests haven't revealed any cause. When she talks to friends and family about it, the refrain is the same—have you tried eating better? exercising more? establishing a nighttime routine? She tries to follow their advice, buying everything from vitamins to sleeping pills to a step-counting watch. Nothing helps. Until one night Iðunn falls asleep with the watch on, and wakes up to find she’s walked over 40,000 steps in the night.
-
-
Interesting & creepy
- By Jaimie Welbourn on 09-20-24
By: Hildur Knútsdóttir, and others
-
There Is No Ethan
- How Three Women Caught America's Biggest Catfish
- By: Anna Akbari
- Narrated by: Anna Akbari, Justin Price
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2011, three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this fascinating man. His detailed excuses about broken webcams and complicated international calling plans seemed believable, as did last minute trip cancellations. After all, why would he lie? Ethan wasn't after money—he never convinced his marks to shell out thousands of dollars for some imagined crisis.
-
-
I would have been happier and more interested if I had googled this and read the online articles.
- By Kathryn on 07-25-24
By: Anna Akbari
Critic reviews
"The author’s investigations of the concept of victimhood are insightful and urgent . . . Ervin laces the poetic text with unforgettable moments of startling, shattering honesty, many of which feel impossible to witness. This is the genius of the author’s prose and what makes this book remarkable: Ervin’s unflinchingly brutal gaze, combined with her insistence on facing the worst parts of her past, make it equally impossible for us to look away."—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"Poet and essayist Ervin grapples in her moving debut memoir with the emotional damage caused by a parent’s violent death . . . In lucid prose, Ervin unflinchingly documents her grief and untangles how her mother’s murder impacted myriad aspects of her life. This will haunt readers long after they’ve turned the last page."—Publishers Weekly
“There are some books that are written to avoid the brutality of the world and other books that capture with an uncanny clarity the inescapable truth. Kristine S. Ervin froze me in my tracks from the first page of her startling and transfixing memoir, a work fueled by a daughter’s undying love for her mother and a refusal to stay silent about violence. Rabbit Heart will stay with me forever.”—Michele Filgate, editor of What My Mother and I Don't Talk About
Mixed Experience
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The author draws readers in by articulately and really sharing her life experiences and how they were impacted by her mother’s violent, torturous abduction, rape, & murder. I pray it was cathartic for her & wish to thank her for finding the words to convey her unabashedly shared truth. That could not have been an easy task.
I lost my oldest brother to murder, in Tulsa no less, when I was barely 17. His violent death colored my life as well. However, even if death hadn’t touched my life at such a young age, I believe I’d have still related to the author’s pain & poor decisions simply because she took me there, as a teen and as a woman. It is somehow comforting to know that I am not alone in my, often misguided & self-harming, life decisions. Thank you for entrusting readers with your story, your Mom’s story.
The author’s candor.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Read. To. The. Very. End.
Otherwise it will feel incomplete.
Powerful and Necessary
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Truly
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Generational Trauma, Unpacked
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Well written interesting story
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Groundbreaking
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Started off strong ...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Poignant
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Looong and Whiney
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.