We Were Once a Family
A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America
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Narrated by:
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Suehyla El-Attar
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By:
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Roxanna Asgarian
About this listen
National Book Critics Circle Award—Winner, 2023
Long-listed, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year 2023
L.A. Times Book Prize—Finalist, 2023
Long-listed, NPR Best Book of the Year, 2023
Short-listed, Helen Bernstein Book Award, 2024
Long-listed, New Yorker Best Books of the Year, 2023
Long-listed, Carnegie Medal, 2024
Long-listed, Publishers Weekly Best Books of the Year, 2023
Long-listed, CPL: Chicago Public Library Best of the Best, 2023
Long-listed, Audible.com Best of the Year, 2023
Long-listed, Washington Post Best Books of the Year, 2023
One of Literary Hub's most anticipated books of 2023
"Narrator Suehyla El-Attar gives an impassioned performance that enhances the touching, terrifying tale of social injustice and systemic failure. Her delivery is compelling and clear, evoking a captivating listening experience from this true-crime tragedy."—Library Journal
The shocking, deeply reported story of a murder-suicide that claimed the lives of six children—and a searing indictment of the American foster care system.
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six children—with fateful consequences.
In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian’s We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children’s birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America’s most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.
A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
©2023 Roxanna Asgarian (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
2023, National Book Critics Circle Award - Nominee, Short-listed
2023, Barnes and Noble Best New Books of the Year, Long-listed
2023, L.A. Times Book Prize - Finalist, Short-listed
2023, NPR Best Book of the Year, Long-listed
2023, New Yorker Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2024, Carnegie Medal - Winner
2023, CPL Chicago Public Library Best of the Best, Long-listed
2023, L.A. Times Book Prize - Winner
2023, Audible.com Best of the Year, Long-listed
2023, National Book Critics Circle Award - Winner
2024, Helen Bernstein Book Award, Short-listed
2023, Publishers Weekly Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
2023, Washington Post Best Books of the Year, Long-listed
"Asgarian debuts with a comprehensive and searing look at systemic issues within the foster care and adoption systems . . . Emotional and frequently enraging, it adds up to a blistering indictment . . . Sensitive, impassioned, and eye-opening, this is a must-read."—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“Roxanna Asgarian’s stunning debut, We Were Once A Family, paints a stark picture of the systemic failures of our child welfare system. Asgarian shows the myriad ways in which the very institutions charged with our children's safety often exacerbate their predicaments—and sometimes, as with the Hart family, can end in unmitigated and unnecessary tragedy. This book is sobering, but also urgent, advocating for change with the strength of a howl in the wild.”—Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises
"Roxanna Asgarian could have written another sensational account of the six Black children murdered by the white couple who adopted them. Instead, We Were Once A Family is not only the most in-depth investigation of the tragedy, but also a devastating exposé of the unjust and inhumane child welfare system that caused it to happen. Asgarian shatters the dominant rosy adoption narrative popularized by the government and media by telling the forgotten experiences of foster children, adoptees, and birth families—all traumatized by the forcible separation from their loved ones. This riveting book will raise public awareness of the urgent need to end our disastrous approach to struggling families by radically reimagining child welfare policies and building community-based supports that truly keep children safe."—Dorothy Roberts, author of Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families—And How Abolition Can Build A Safer World
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To the End of June
- The Intimate Life of American Foster Care
- By: Cris Beam
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Who are the children of foster care? What, as a country, do we owe them? Cris Beam, a foster mother herself, spent five years immersed in the world of foster care looking into these questions and tracing firsthand stories. The result is To the End of June, an unforgettable portrait that takes us deep inside the lives of foster children in their search for a stable, loving family. Beam shows us the intricacies of growing up in the system - the back-and-forth with agencies, the rootless shuffling between homes, the emotionally charged tug between foster and birth parents.
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Good dissertation
- By Nim on 03-13-19
By: Cris Beam
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Memorial Drive
- A Daughter's Memoir
- By: Natasha Trethewey
- Narrated by: Natasha Trethewey
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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At age 19, Natasha Trethewey had her world turned upside down when her former stepfather shot and killed her mother. Grieving and still new to adulthood, she confronted the twin pulls of life and death in the aftermath of unimaginable trauma and now explores the way this experience lastingly shaped the artist she became. With penetrating insight and a searing voice that moves from the wrenching to the elegiac, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Natasha Trethewey explores this profound experience of pain, loss, and grief.
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poetic
- By Amazon Customer on 08-03-20
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What the Dead Know
- Learning About Life as a New York City Death Investigator
- By: Barbara Butcher
- Narrated by: Barbara Butcher
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Barbara Butcher was early in her recovery from alcoholism when she found an unexpected lifeline: a job at the Medical Examiner’s Office in New York City. The second woman ever hired for the role of Death Investigator in Manhattan, she was the first to last more than three months. The work was gritty, demanding, morbid, and sometimes dangerous—and she loved it. In What the Dead Know, she writes with the kind of New York attitude and bravado you might expect from decades in the field, investigating more than 5,500 death scenes, 680 of which were homicides.
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Didn’t Want The Book To End
- By Becky Sullivan on 06-29-23
By: Barbara Butcher
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"You Should Be Grateful"
- Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption
- By: Angela Tucker
- Narrated by: Angela Tucker
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.” Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.
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A Good Start
- By Ricky Ferrari Traner on 07-18-24
By: Angela Tucker
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No Visible Bruises
- What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
- By: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Narrated by: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a 'global epidemic'. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths....
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Not yet ready
- By Alyssa E. on 05-17-19
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The Red Parts
- Autobiography of a Trial
- By: Maggie Nelson
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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A chilling genre-busting memoir by a major American essayist. Late in 2004, Maggie Nelson was looking forward to the publication of her book, Jane: A Murder, a narrative in verse about the life and death of her aunt, who had been murdered 35 years before. The case remained unsolved, but Jane was assumed to have been the victim of an infamous serial killer in Michigan in 1969.
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Compelling, but missing something deeper
- By S. Yates on 03-17-17
By: Maggie Nelson
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Relinquished
- The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
- By: Gretchen Sisson
- Narrated by: Angel Pean, Emily Norman, Katie Koster, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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A powerful decade-long study of adoption in the age of Roe, revealing the grief of the American mothers for whom the choice to parent was never real.
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different take on adoption
- By Kelly B. on 11-13-24
By: Gretchen Sisson
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American Predator
- The Hunt for the Most Meticulous Serial Killer of the 21st Century
- By: Maureen Callahan
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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The names of notorious serial killers are usually well-known; they echo in the news and in public consciousness. But most people have never heard of Israel Keyes, one of the most ambitious and terrifying serial killers in modern history American Predator is the ambitious culmination of years of interviews with key figures in law enforcement and in Keyes's life, and research uncovered from classified FBI files. Callahan takes us on a journey into the chilling, nightmarish mind of a relentless killer, and to the limitations of traditional law enforcement.
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Why you shouldn’t listen to Reviews
- By jofi00 on 10-23-19
By: Maureen Callahan
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I Speak For This Child: True Stories of a Child Advocate
- By: Gay Courter
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 17 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Bestselling novelist Gay Courter recounts her experiences as a Guardian ad Litem, a volunteer court-appointed special advocate (CASA) for children involved in the legal system due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment. Her story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and is an inspiration for anyone who has ever looked up from a newspaper and wondered, "What can I do to help?"
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very helpful for volunteers
- By Corpus Family on 05-03-24
By: Gay Courter
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We Carry Their Bones
- The Search for Justice at the Dozier School for Boys
- By: Erin Kimmerle
- Narrated by: Janina Edwards
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The Arthur G. Dozier Boys School was a well-guarded secret in Florida for over a century, until reports of cruelty, abuse, and “mysterious” deaths shut the institution down in 2011. Established in 1900, the juvenile reform school accepted children as young as six years of age for crimes as harmless as truancy or trespassing. The boys sent there, many of whom were Black, were subject to brutal abuse, routinely hired out to local farmers by the school’s management as indentured labor, and died either at the school or attempting to escape its brutal conditions.
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The word Bones
- By Charlene J on 08-19-24
By: Erin Kimmerle
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While You Were Out
- An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
- By: Meg Kissinger
- Narrated by: Meg Kissinger
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard. But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding.
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Thoughtful and mindful
- By James Thomas McIntyre on 09-11-23
By: Meg Kissinger
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The Teacher's Pet
- By: Hedley Thomas
- Narrated by: Full Cast, Hedley Thomas
- Length: 18 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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If you thought you knew the story of The Teacher's Pet, get ready to be shocked. Hedley Thomas takes you behind the scenes with a blow-by-blow account of one of the most intriguing and enduring murder mysteries of our time - the crime, the podcast investigation, the sexual exploitation of teenage students, the courtroom drama - and how justice was finally delivered.
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Too much not needed details, especially about author!
- By Chris on 04-05-24
By: Hedley Thomas
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The Debutante
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Thirty years ago, award-winning journalist Jon Ronson stumbled on the mystery of Carol Howe—a charismatic, wealthy former debutante turned white supremacist spokeswoman turned undercover informant. In 1995, Carol was spying on Oklahoma’s neo-Nazis for the government just when Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people.
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Interesting but not compelling
- By Gail Jester on 04-15-23
By: Jon Ronson
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Invisible Child
- Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City
- By: Andrea Elliott
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Andrea Elliott follows eight dramatic years in the life of Dasani, a girl whose imagination is as soaring as the skyscrapers near her Brooklyn shelter. In this sweeping narrative, Elliott weaves the story of Dasani’s childhood with the history of her ancestors, tracing their passage from slavery to the Great Migration north. As Dasani comes of age, New York City’s homeless crisis has exploded, deepening the chasm between rich and poor. She must guide her siblings through a world riddled by hunger, violence, racism, drug addiction, and the threat of foster care.
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Narration is completely over the top
- By Heather on 10-14-21
By: Andrea Elliott
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The Executioner's Song
- By: Norman Mailer
- Narrated by: Maxwell Hamilton
- Length: 42 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Norman Mailer's Pulitzer Prize-winning and unforgettable classic about convicted killer Gary Gilmore now in audio. Arguably the greatest book from America's most heroically ambitious writer, The Executioner's Song follows the short, blighted life of Gary Gilmore who became famous after he robbed two men in 1976 and killed them in cold blood. After being tried and convicted, he immediately insisted on being executed for his crime. To do so, he fought a system that seemed intent on keeping him alive long after it had sentenced him to death.
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Pulitzer-winner spoiled by numskulled narration
- By W Perry Hall on 05-21-18
By: Norman Mailer
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How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water
- A Novel
- By: Angie Cruz
- Narrated by: Kimberly M. Wetherell, Rossmery Almonte
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Cara Romero thought she would work at the factory of little lamps for the rest of her life. But when, in her mid-50s, she loses her job in the Great Recession, she is forced back into the job market for the first time in decades. Set up with a job counselor, Cara instead begins to narrate the story of her life.
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Fascinating
- By Tails32x on 09-20-22
By: Angie Cruz
What listeners say about We Were Once a Family
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Carole T Emberton
- 05-24-23
A devastating story of families torn apart
Deeply researched and sensitively told. This is investigative journalism at its finest. A must read.
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- B. Patterson
- 08-03-23
Devastating
A really powerful look at the child welfare system and the human cost of splitting up families. I binged the whole book as is it was incredibly compelling and well written
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- Jess Halverson Bowyer
- 04-02-23
Must read for all Americans
The author uses in depth reporting, empathy, and a riveting story to examine the complex cruelties of the systems of racism and control destroying lives through the CPS structure. She does so with grace and transparency, distilling a hard topic to an easy to understand narrative. For those white adults who grew up understanding a much different tale about CPS and the foster system, a much needed explanation that will hopefully spark change. Great reporting and a great work.
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- Ferret Girl
- 03-25-23
A must read
A must read if you want to understand the child welfare system and it’s consequences for birth families and children. Well written and performed. I was deeply moved by the back stories of everyone involved, the births families, the children, and the adoptive mothers.
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- Gisela R. Barry
- 03-17-23
We once were a family
What a tragic tale. The writer has laid open one of the worst child neglect stories of our Government.
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- Nadeah Kalapodis
- 01-11-24
Tragic but important
The story was incredibly sad and eye-opening to how child protective services work. Although we know, systemic racism has been it play, it is rampant in that at target, black families, and takes children from their homes.
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- coffee lover
- 04-06-23
There are more than one side of a story
I found the book interesting and well written. I respect the author for paying attention to the birth families. There is no doubt that they suffered and continued to be mistreated. I would like to add, however, that the matter of a child removal often involves court. The description of how children were removed from their parents in the book comes from the parents, may or may not be how it actually happened. I also felt the author paying less attention to the impact of having parents with substance use and mental illness but blaming so much on poverty. Finally with so much emphasis on racism, which I agree, I wonder if this book could have been narrated by an African American mother. It is a little disappointing that this book could come across as the white people's story when African American person is not included in the book production.
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- Brandon
- 09-16-23
unbiased
I like how the author presented facts surrounding each incident that occurred to get the children to the next phase of their lives. It was presented in such a manner that you are left to determine who was at fault.
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- Rita Dorsey
- 05-17-23
Incredible investigative journalism
Author impeccably investigates and writes about corruption and systemic racism in child removal, CPS, the courts, and foster care system. A must read/listen.
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- Katie C
- 08-02-23
Powerful examination of our failing child welfare system
Starting with the tragic tale of 6 adopted Black children driven off a literal cliff by their adopted parents, the author deftly examines the system that allowed it to happen. Incredible detail and storytelling. 6 stars. Must read.
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