
Ready for Absolutely Nothing
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Susannah Constantine
About this listen
This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her journey as a recovering alcoholic.
The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a "style guru" as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan–then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.
Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in this book from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.
But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.
Ready for Absolutely Nothing is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, listeners of Lady in Waiting, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.
©2023 Susannah Constantine (P)2023 Hachette BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
From the New York Times bestselling author of The History of White People and Old in Art School, a finalist for the NBCC Award, comes a comprehensive new collection of essays spanning art, politics, and the legacy of racism that shapes American history as we know it. These essays resist easy answers in favor of complexity, the inescapable sense of our country’s potential thwarted by its failures. This collection will surely solidify Painter’s place among the finest critics and writers of the last half century.
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Author reader
- By K D S on 07-11-24
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My Roman History
- A Memoir
- By: Alizah Holstein
- Narrated by: Alizah Holstein
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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From the time she first felt called to its gates as a high school student fascinated by Dante and Italian thanks to a life-changing teacher, Rome has been a fixed star around which Alizah Holstein’s life has rotated—despite the fact that she bears no Italian heritage, and has never lived there long enough to call it home. In this kaleidoscopic yet intimate memoir, her shifting relationship to a vibrant city layered with human history becomes a lens on why we look to the past, on the mysteries of affinity and desire, and on what it means to grow up.
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The long road to finding your calling
- By Cath on 12-15-24
By: Alizah Holstein
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Personality and Power
- Builders and Destroyers of Modern Europe
- By: Ian Kershaw
- Narrated by: Matt Bates
- Length: 17 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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From one of the leading historians of twentieth-century Europe and the author of the definitive biography of Hitler, Personality and Power is a masterful reckoning with how character conspired with opportunity to create the modern age’s uniquely devastating despots—and how and why other countries found better paths. The modern era saw the emergence of individuals who had command over a terrifying array of instruments of control, persuasion and death. Whole societies were reshaped and wars were fought, often with a merciless contempt for the most basic norms.
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Great book, but needs work on human groups
- By Thomas F. Winterbottom on 12-07-22
By: Ian Kershaw
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Savor
- A Chef's Hunger for More
- By: Fatima Ali, Tarajia Morrell - contributor
- Narrated by: Nikhaar Kishnani, Deepa Samuel
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Fatima Ali won the hearts of viewers as the Fan Favorite of Bravo’s Top Chef in season fifteen. Twenty-nine years old, she was a dynamic, boundary-breaking chef and a bright new voice for change in the food world. After the taping wrapped and before the show aired, Fati was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer. Not one to ever slow down or admit defeat, the star chef vowed to spend her final year traveling the world, eating delicious food, and making memories with her loved ones. But when her condition abruptly worsened, her plans were sidelined.
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Outstanding story & narration
- By Lynne on 09-14-24
By: Fatima Ali, and others
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The Witching Year
- A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft
- By: Diana Helmuth
- Narrated by: Diana Helmuth
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Diana Helmuth, thirty-three, is skeptical of organized religion. She is also skeptical of disorganized religion. But, more than anything, she is tired of God being dead. So, she decides to try on the fastest-growing, self-directed faith in America: Witchcraft. The result is 366 days of observation, trial, error, wit, and back spasms. Witches today are often presented as confident and finished, proud and powerful. Diana is eager to join them. She wants to follow all the rules, memorize all the incantations, and read all the liturgy. But there’s one glaring problem.
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Not for me
- By Moria Vulcanus on 01-06-25
By: Diana Helmuth
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The Happy Bottom Riding Club
- The Life and Times of Pancho Barnes
- By: Lauren Kessler
- Narrated by: Hollis McCarthy
- Length: 12 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Pancho Barnes was a force of nature, a woman who lived a big, messy, colorful, unconventional life. She ran through three fortunes, four husbands, and countless lovers. She outflew Amelia Earhart, outsmarted Howard Hughes, outdrank the Mexican Army, and outmaneuvered the US government. In The Happy Bottom Riding Club, award-winning author Lauren Kessler tells the story of a high-spirited, headstrong woman who was proud of her successes, unabashed by her failures, and the architect of her own legend.
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Never a dull moment
- By Matthew G A Vogelpohl on 06-19-24
By: Lauren Kessler
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Walk Through Walls
- A Memoir
- By: Marina Abramovic
- Narrated by: Marina Abramovic
- Length: 14 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2010 more than 750,000 people stood in line at Marina Abramović's MoMA retrospective for the chance to sit across from her and communicate with her nonverbally in an unprecedented durational performance that lasted more than 700 hours. This celebration of nearly 50 years of groundbreaking performance art demonstrated once again that Marina Abramović is truly a force of nature.
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Fascinating read
- By V. Ledovsky on 11-20-16
By: Marina Abramovic
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It Starts with One
- The Legend and Legacy of Linkin Park
- By: Jason Lipshutz
- Narrated by: Jason Lipshutz, James Fouhey, Helen Laser
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Linkin Park is one of the 21st Century’s biggest, and most important, rock bands. All it takes is one quick glance at the numbers—11 Top 40 hits on the Hot 100 and six No. 1 albums on the Billboard 200, over a dozen massive tours, 27 major award wins, 100+ million records sold worldwide, over 30 million monthly Spotify listeners—to realize that when it comes to the metrics of music consumption and fandom, there’s no bigger group in recent memory. And yet, despite their enduring legacy within rock, there’s never been a full, comprehensive biography of Linkin Park—until now.
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Enjoyed hearing Linkin Parks Story
- By Daniel Pappalardo on 10-03-24
By: Jason Lipshutz
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Twilight Man
- Love and Ruin in the Shadows of Hollywood and the Clark Empire
- By: Liz Brown
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot, Liz Brown
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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The unbelievable true story of Harrison Post - the enigmatic lover of one of the richest men in 1920s Hollywood - and the battle for a family fortune.
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Butte amateur historian
- By Josh M. Peck on 09-30-21
By: Liz Brown
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If We Break
- A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing
- By: Kathleen Buhle
- Narrated by: Kathleen Buhle
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator in Oregon. Within months, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged. Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction.
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A true survivors story
- By Kristin on 06-25-22
By: Kathleen Buhle
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Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother
- Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker
- By: Barry Sonnenfeld
- Narrated by: Barry Sonnenfeld
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Film and television director Barry Sonnenfeld's outrageous and hilarious memoir traces his idiosyncratic upbringing in New York City, his breaking into film as a cinematographer with the Coen brothers, and his unexpected career as the director behind such huge film franchises as The Addams Family and Men in Black, and beloved work like Get Shorty, Pushing Daises, and A Series of Unfortunate Events.
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The Kosher Cowboy Rides Again
- By Jay on 05-05-20
By: Barry Sonnenfeld
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A Wilder Shore
- The Romantic Odyssey of Fanny and Robert Louis Stevenson
- By: Camille Peri
- Narrated by: Jeanette Illidge
- Length: 16 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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He was an ambitious but drifting writer from a prominent Scottish family. She was a tough Nevada silver miner’s wife, with children, when they met. Who could have predicted that Fanny Van de Grift and Robert Louis Stevenson would go on to create one of history’s great literary marriages? From their first encounter in France in 1876, Fanny and Louis’s partnership transcended societal expectations to become a literary union that was progressive, eccentric, and tempestuous, but always animated by a profound mutual respect
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Fairly interesting
- By Luke on 10-25-24
By: Camille Peri
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Art Is Life
- Icons and Iconoclasts, Visionaries and Vigilantes, and Flashes of Hope in the Night
- By: Jerry Saltz
- Narrated by: Jerry Saltz, Mark Bramhall
- Length: 16 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Jerry Saltz is one of our most-watched writers about art and artists and a passionate champion of the importance of art in our shared cultural life. Since the 1990s he has been an indispensable cultural voice: Witty and provocative, he has attracted contemporary listeners to fine art as few critics have.
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WRONG for audio program
- By Karen Lehrer on 11-07-22
By: Jerry Saltz
An arresting read👍🏻👍🏻
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Loved it
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A surprise
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Well written and narrated
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