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Ready for Absolutely Nothing

By: Susannah Constantine
Narrated by: Susannah Constantine
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Publisher's summary

This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her journey as a recovering alcoholic.

The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a "style guru" as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan–then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.

Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in this book from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.

But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.

Ready for Absolutely Nothing is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, listeners of Lady in Waiting, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.

©2023 Susannah Constantine (P)2023 Hachette Books
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Critic reviews

"Absolutely brilliant."—Elton John

"Wonderfully written, very funny, but more than anything completely genuine."—Lady Anne Glenconner, author of Lady in Waiting

"We lunched better than we danced."—Anton Du Beke, author of The Buckingham Series and host of Strictly Come Dancing”

What listeners say about Ready for Absolutely Nothing

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Loved it

I am a big fan of the Royal Family. I was happily enjoying the book and then her connection with RF was an unexpected bonus. The book is wonderful, it was the perfect balance of humor and fact. I think I enjoyed it more not knowing anything about the author, there were a lot of fun surprises for me.

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An arresting read👍🏻👍🏻

This is a wonderful book telling of Susannah’s life journey beginning in the 60’s giving insight to an upper class upbringing in London and the years that followed. Susannah is candid, engaging and humorous as she recounts yarns of her life to date.

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A surprise

I thought this book would be a guilty pleasure. Quickly, I discovered it went deeper. The author's mother suffered from bipolar disorder (not seen as an illness in the 1960s/1970s, but as a character weakness). . I wish she would have spent more time on how that impacted her both during her formative years and as an adult. I loved her focus on how from the outside, you can appear to have everything, but in truth, your potential can be stunted/discouraged by your privilege and the era in which you come to age. The well written book has an interesting story and the author's sense of humor is excellent. I'm pretty picky about books and started this with minimal expectations. Happily, I'm giving this one five stars overall.

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Well written and narrated

Hilarious at times and quite detailed !! Suzanna is the perfect person to tell her tale .

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