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Screw Everyone

By: Ophira Eisenberg
Narrated by: Ophira Eisenberg
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Publisher's summary

Screw Everyone is comedian Ophira Eisenberg's wisecracking account of how she spent most of her life saying "yes" to everything - and everyone - and how that attitude ultimately helped her overcome her phobia of commitment.

Skeptical about long-term relationships, Eisenberg approached dating as a sort of research experiment from early on: She spent her twenties traveling from futon to futon and gathering data, figuring that one day she'd put it all together somehow and build her own perfect Frankenmate. When she met a guy who didn't fall for the emotionally cavalier facade she'd constructed (a guy who wanted marriage and monogamy), she knew it was time to reevaluate.

From her first kiss to saying "I do", Screw Everyone is an honest, hilarious chronicle of how one woman discovered herself, conquered her fears, and even found the real thing one promiscuous encounter at a time.

©2013 Ophira Eisenberg (P)2014 Audible Inc.
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What listeners say about Screw Everyone

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Funny!

Some parts are laugh out loud funny. She is a great storyteller and this is a fun book.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Funny - East listening for a good laugh.

Funny - East listening for a good laugh. Think it would have been better seeing her live in person doing her standup.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

funny and genuine

I was delighted to discover this was narrated by Eisenberg herself. She tells awkward stories that I think many of us can relate to on some level. light reading, lots of laughs, and overall enjoyable.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Casual and not as uplifting as I would've wanted

I like Ophira Eisenberg specially since I'm an Ask Me Another fan. However, as much as her life is colorful the effort in narrating nuggets of her biography through her sexual exploits left a lot of the other interesting parts of her life neglected in the narrative. Still a fan, however, Ask Me Another will never be the same again.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Pretty funny

If you could sum up Screw Everyone in three words, what would they be?

Awesome, Funny, Relatable

What about Ophira Eisenberg’s performance did you like?

She was great her voice really added to the book.

Any additional comments?

You should really buy this. I had a lot of work to do and the hours flew buy listening to this book. Great book!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Funny, good for passing time

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The book was well written, funny and great story.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Screw Everyone?

The last few chapters were the funniest. I don't want to give the book away but it was worth the read.

What about Ophira Eisenberg’s performance did you like?

She really helped with the character and did a great job with the story.

What else would you have wanted to know about Ophira Eisenberg’s life?

I feel like the readers are openly invited into her life and the story didn't leave out any details. Maybe another book is in the near future?

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Light and enternaining

An easy listen. Made me feel nostalgic for my youth (and relieved to have most of it behind me) through her tales of navigating the dating scene of highschool, college, and young adulthood.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Best Audiobook EVER... and I'm not even done yet.

THIS BOOK IS HYSTERICAL. Ophira wrote this book with her obvious intelligence, snappy delivery and unapologetic candor... all of which combined make this great book probably the best book I'll hear in 2014. [Considering I have 112 titles in my online library, I feel very qualified to say this.] Oh, and I'm only 2/3rd done. As the title would suggest, it is slightly provocative, but that only adds to its complete awesomeness. If you're a woman, you will (unless you live under a rock) relate. If you're a dude, you'll enjoy Ophira's exploits and masculine approaches to dealing with/understanding men. Deep down she was always a girl looking for love, but thankfully (because it gave her material for this book) it was in all the wrong places. In the end, kissing a lot of frogs will eventually net you a prince. Thanks, Ophira!

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Not a self help book. But helpful anyway.

Loved this story. Very relatable. This was not a self help book, but was helpful anyway. At moments, I laughed out loud and found myself noting the similarities to my own life.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

she is funny

I had never heard of her before but she is really funny. This book was both funny and sexy at the same time. But mostly funny. Like really funny. For a Canadian.

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