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Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Jonathan Frakes
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
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Publisher's summary
From the creator of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.
Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense. But when his girlfriend dumps him for the most insufferable guy in town, Albert decides to fight back - even though he can’t shoot, ride, or throw a punch. Fortunately, he teams up with a beautiful gunslinger who’s tough enough for the both of them. Unfortunately, she’s married to the biggest, meanest, most jealous badass on the frontier. Turns out Albert has just discovered a million and one ways to die in the West.
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Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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Hell’s Riders
- By: Ralph Cotton
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Arizona Ranger Sam Burrack thought he’d seen every despicable act of cruelty and murder any man could exact on another. He thought wrong. When he stumbles upon the butchered remains of a scalp-taking massacre, he’s choked with disgust. So Burrack teams up with veteran Sheriff Boyd Tackett, who’s more than willing to help bring these vile rats to justice.
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Great story.
- By Cody on 01-20-16
By: Ralph Cotton
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The Curse of Jacob Tracy
- By: Holly Messinger
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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St. Louis in 1880 is full of ghosts - mangled soldiers, tortured slaves, the innocent victims of war - and Jacob Tracy can see them all. Ever since Antietam, when he lay delirious among the dead and dying, Trace has been haunted by the country's restless spirits. The curse cost him his family, his calling to the church, and damn near his sanity. He stays out of ghost-populated cities as much as possible these days, guiding wagon trains west with his pragmatic and skeptical partner, Boz.
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Supernatural meets old West.
- By Mbeasley on 01-16-16
By: Holly Messinger
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A Man Called Justice
- Silent Justice, Book 1
- By: John Deacon
- Narrated by: A.T. Chandler
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Justice is a drifter with no fear and no memory, trailed by a violent past. Nora is a beautiful widow bravely raising her young son on an isolated New Mexican ranch. When a ruthless cattle baron pushes longhorns into the valley, Justice vows to protect Nora and her boy. But how can he succeed against thirty hired guns… including the four outlaws who left him for dead?
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Home run!
- By Charlie on 08-30-22
By: John Deacon
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Left at the Altar
- By: Margaret Brownley
- Narrated by: Kate Forbes
- Length: 10 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In the wild and untamed West, time is set by the local jeweler but Two-Time Texas has two: two feuding jewelers and two wildly conflicting time zones. Meg Lockwood's marriage was supposed to unite the families and finally bring peace. But when she's left at the altar by her no-good fiancé, Meg's dreams of dragging her quarrelsome neighbors into a ceasefire are dashed.
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Great Book
- By Kmacy on 01-15-24
What listeners say about Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- James
- 09-29-16
Great Book
I loved the book! Jonathan Frakes was easily able to give each character a voice!
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- Steven - TX
- 10-16-20
Not my cup of tea
I used to be a big fan of Seth McFarlane and Family Guy. I thought I might enjoy this story even though I never took the time to see the movie. It was part of a 2 for 1 credit, so I decided to give it a chance. There were parts that were funny, but it didn't really connect with me. It seems to be better suited for teenage boys. I guess I'm just not part of that audience anymore. I need to go now so I can get another Werther's Original and go tell at those damn kids to get off my grass.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Adiaka
- 07-06-14
Funnier then the movie.
Where does Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
As I have not been here long, I do not have much to measure by but on it our, it ranks highest.
Who was your favorite character and why?
I loved the main character, He reminds me of myself. As if I was the main character.
What does Jonathan Frakes bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Jonathan Frakes gave each character a 'voice'. He brought each one to life.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Knowing this book was written after he movie, I think Seth already has that covered.
Any additional comments?
I honestly think this book was more entertaining then the movie. There is a level of details included in the book that make it great.
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2 people found this helpful
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- KellysHero718
- 08-10-21
Funny
The premise is funny and the story is funny, but what makes this book a gem is the frequent and surprising laugh-out-loud funny one-liners. Twice in the grocery store this afternoon, people I don’t know shied away from the crazy man with earbuds, laughing right out loud.
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- Tomatombomb
- 02-14-23
One of the all time great reading performances
Hilarious book that makes a lot of specific Wild West jokes actually if you are into the subject. Loved it.
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- Placeholder
- 03-07-14
Huge Laughs, Greatest Girlfriend Ever!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes. This book is essential reading for all humans interested in any / all of the following:
1. spending an enjoyable 5 hrs listening to a funny story; 2. laughing when a humorous scene unfolds - and my unofficial count came to 32 give or take a couple; and 3. rooting for the underdog character reeling from the blows but staying strong and sliding into a relationship upgrade before the curtain falls.
Who was your favorite character and why?
The girlfriend of Albert's best friend. Where to begin? No joke - get this audiobook and let her world wash over you like a sticky spatter of love. What a woman! She is a hard working young lady absolutely dedicated to providing her diverse, loyal customer base 100% guaranteed satisfaction. Her front door, back door, even the upstairs window are always open. She will bend over backwards, even get on her knees to please her clients.
With all of this said, don't forget that she is also deeply in love with Edward, her not-so-worldly shoe repairing boyfriend. Their love is the love that lasts through all time. Edward is a lucky man to have her by his side.
What does Jonathan Frakes bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
He narrated this audiobook cleanly and mixed in some well done voices for the diverse cast of characters.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
I was particularly touched in the scene where Edward shows up at his girlfriend's work a bit early before she is done for the day in order to surprise her. He has to wait a few minutes becausesShe is getting drilled hard by one of her customers. When he hears her soft rhythmic moaning subside and then her begging for her cowboy to cum in her mouth, he knew it wouldn't be long before she would walk down those stairs and into his loving arms. Their embrace in the lobby was as tender a moment as I can ever recall. Love IS a wonderous thing!
Any additional comments?
Buy this audiobook! A wonderful way to spend an afternoon. If you don't find this book funny, then you are not the answer, you are the problem!
Hey Seth, hope there is more stuff like this in that dome of yours. This is my kind of out of left field, bust up laughing book so rarely offered by Audible these days. Keep pumping out the good stuff, and I will keep coughing up the jack to buy it.
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- Bunny B
- 07-01-14
Typical Seth MacFarlane humor...
What made the experience of listening to Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West the most enjoyable?
Jonathan Frakes made this story most enjoyable!
What did you like best about this story?
The crazy characters and edgy comedy.
Have you listened to any of Jonathan Frakes’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
This was the first for me...certainly won't be the last.
If you could rename Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, what would you call it?
How the good guy always gets the girl in the end, especially in cheesy westerns.
Any additional comments?
This was an entertaining and fun story, just the way nature (and Seth MacFarlane) had intended.
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- Andrea
- 11-21-17
it's a repeat listen!!
really liked the movie but the book blows the movie away. highly recommended!! it's romp through the old west with current day snark.
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- Jason Linder
- 08-08-21
only listen if your a fan of Seth Mcfarlane
The book is Entertaininge by any means but it is pretty juvenile the jokes kind of come out of nowhere it really feels misplaced for a Western book But as a Seth McFarland production it's some of his best work. it's funny it's got a decently thought out story, it feels like family guy untamed in the West in fact I could easily see this adapted using the family guy cast. Not a good Western book at all but really funny Seth McFarland adventure. I only recommend this to fans of family guy and American dad
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- Daniel Xu
- 11-27-22
Same story as the movie.
Nice to revisit the movie through read words.
One thing interesting is that the narrator seems really into it went vocalizing the moaning from the whorehouse scenes, screaming to ask certain substance to be deposited on his face. I don’t know what to make of it but it’s a bit repelling to hear a guy moan and scream.
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