Sex Changes
A Memoir of Marriage, Gender, and Moving On
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Narrated by:
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Renée Raudman
About this listen
What do you do when the other woman is your husband?
Christine Benvenuto had been married for more than twenty years - with three young children - when her husband turned to her one night in bed and said, "I'm thinking constantly about my gender." Unhappy in his body, he wanted to become a woman.
Part memoir, part voyeur's look into a marriage, Sex Changes is a journey through the end of a marriage and out the other side. We see a mother, desperate to save her family and shelter her children, discover a well of strength and resilience she never knew she had. We learn what to tell the neighbors when your husband starts wearing heels with his shirts and ties. We see a woman open herself up to a group of friends who travel with her through her darkest times, offering light, levity, and the opportunity to learn how to give as well as receive the love and support of true friendship. As she loses her husband to skirts and hormones, life makes Chris a better woman.
Sex Changes is the story of what one woman discovered about herself in the midst of the conflagration of her family. Fiercely funny, self-lacerating, and not entirely politically correct, this book is a journey of love and anguish told with hilarity, heartbreak, and a lot of soul searching. It is about the mysteries in every marriage, the secrets we chose to keep, and the freedom that the truth can bring.
Christine Benvenuto is the author of Shiksa, as well as fiction, essays, and reviews that have appeared in many publications, including the Village Voice, the San Francisco Chronicle, Tikkun, and Moment. She lives in western Massachusetts with her children.
©2012 Christine Benvenuto (P)2012 BlackstoneListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
- By: Linda Kay Klein
- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
- By Military Dad on 12-12-18
By: Linda Kay Klein
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Crazy Time, Revised Edition
- Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
- By: Abigail Trafford
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts the emotional journey of a breakup of a marriage, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life. This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the personal and economic effects of divorce in adults and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to the breakup of all committed relationships.
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Better as an additional book
- By Ethan on 09-18-19
By: Abigail Trafford
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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Shanda
- A Memoir of Shame and Secrecy
- By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The word "shanda" is defined as shame or disgrace in Yiddish. This book, Shanda, tells the story of three generations of complicated, intense twentieth-century Jews for whom the desire to fit in and the fear of public humiliation either drove their aspirations or crushed their spirit. In her deeply engaging, astonishingly candid memoir, author and activist Letty Cottin Pogrebin exposes the fiercely-guarded lies and intricate cover-ups woven by dozens of members of her extended family.
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Beautifully Written!
- By Adele Aron Greenspun on 01-12-23
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
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Can't Forgive
- My 20-Year Battle with O.J. Simpson
- By: Kim Goldman
- Narrated by: Kim Goldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kim Goldman was just 22, her older brother, Ron, was brutally killed by O. J. Simpson. Ron and Kim were very close, and her devastation was compounded by the shocking not guilty verdict that allowed a smirking Simpson to leave as a free man.
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Selfish
- By B. A. C. on 04-08-16
By: Kim Goldman
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Things I've Been Silent About
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Naila Azad
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Azar Nafisi, author of the beloved international best seller Reading Lolita in Tehran, now gives us a stunning personal story of growing up in Iran, memories of her life lived in thrall to a powerful and complex mother, against the background of a country's political revolution.
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Family portrait in the frame of history
- By Galina COS on 07-02-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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Unrequited
- Women and Romantic Obsession
- By: Lisa A. Phillips
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned 30, she fell in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.
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Great book! So-so narrator....
- By ToluGrace on 04-14-15
By: Lisa A. Phillips
What listeners say about Sex Changes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Test
- 11-16-12
not a great one
Not a great book to listen! It could have been narrated well! Audible can do better!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 07-22-24
A fantastic insight on the author internal world
I don't know if I can say I "enjoyed" this book per say as the experiences described are honestly harrowing and cut close to the quick of my own experiences and fears. Though slightly meandering at times, I entered this experience which that expectation, and appreciate the authors rumination of her marriage and the events that led to it's collapse. I'm also equally bemused and slightly infuriated at other reviews who bitterly miss the point of the book and attack the author. I also quite enjoyed the voice actors preformance and appreciated her ability to covey tone, though it would have been nice to have the author read her own story. Overall a slightly indulgent yet emotionally impactful meditation, 4.5 out of 5
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- Pamela Harvey
- 11-17-12
good story with flat un-relatable characters
I found this book to be a huge downslide. There is very little humor, very little insight, very little irony, no description, no backstories. Just the facts.
Add to that the strange voice of Rene Raudman who sounds like she is wearing braces and you get a very flat, if not depressing, story.
I couldn't read this without trying to get some distance from the shabby characters and their pathetic attempts at dealing with this crisis. Underscored by Raudman's monotonous delivery.
This experience could have been saved by at least a more ironic reading. Raudman ruined a story that had great potential.
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13 people found this helpful
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- John Meye
- 05-10-18
Something Doesn't Quite Work, Not Exactly Sure Why
I listened to this story twice, since I'm genuinely interested in this subject.
I don't expect the author Christine to be any other person than herself. She did tell her story honestly and the way she wanted to tell it. I'm fine with that.
What did NOT work for me was the narrator, Renee. NO doubt, she has an excellent voice and is a gifted narrator---just NOT for THIS story. My gut tells me that Christine should have narrated her OWN story. That might have communicated something important.
As it stands now, there's a lot of subtance here, and a truly interesting story, but it just sort of fizzles and fades.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angela
- 10-14-18
Starts off with bitterness, but hang in there!
This is a memoir, ONE woman's perspective on her husband's transition to female. Thus, many strong emotions will definitely play a role. In the early chapters, the author seems exasperated, frustrated, bitter, and hostile. But of course these are the emotions she was feeling as she was living through all of this. It's perfectly natural that her writing about that time would be deeply emotional and even bitter. It also seems like her transgendered ex has larger mental health issues on the basis of his actions and poor decision-making skills.
I must admit, I almost stopped listening to this book (I DON'T do that as a rule) because her attitude started to annoy me, and I was worried the narrative was possibly headed in an anti-trans direction. But I hung in there, and I'm glad I did.This is certainly NOT an anti-trans narrative! It is just providing a point of view that is underrepresented in the conversation surrounding transsexuality: that of the spouse and children that sometimes get left behind. It's an accurate memoir of grief for the loss of a spouse, a father, and a family's collective vision of their future together.
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- Steph.in.NY
- 01-24-23
Big Disappointment
I'm fascinated with these stories because I'm interested in what drives men with viable marriages and young children to throw it all away for the chimera of "living as a woman."
The problem with this book (which I didn't finish after getting halfway through) is a lack of chronological organization -- telling a story, without constant diversions, and a lack of concrete detail. There's way too much abstraction. It's like the whole story is covered with a gauzy scrim.
Benvenuto should have thrown all the New-Agey emoting out and focused on telling us the story with concrete details: When did her husband's obsession begin? When did she notice? What were their interactions like (details please, like dialogue) after his declaration that he was in the wrong body? And so on...
There will be more books like this coming down the pike and I hope the authors will study this book as an example of how not to do it.
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- Amy
- 01-29-15
Portrait of a woman with a profound lack of empath
Would you try another book from Christine Benvenuto and/or Renée Raudman?
Never
Have you listened to any of Renée Raudman’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
The performance was alright, certainly not the worst party of the book.
Any additional comments?
The author seeks to go out of her way to vilify Trans people, and it was quite hurtful to listen to. I tried hard to give her the benefit of the doubt and be understanding of her situation, but this book paints the portrait of a horrible self centered woman with a profound lack of empathy too caught up in her own suffering to consider what others around her are going through.
She spends the entire book criticising Tracey for making what is in many cases a life or death choice without the smallest respect of even using her preferred pronouns, then ends the book talking about how much she likes sex with her new man. I'm sincerely glad the author feels like she grew through all this, but the the author's selfishness is just disgusting.
Maybe I'll calm down after a few days, but this was the worst trite I've ever wasted my time listening to.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 02-23-23
Enjoyed and appreciated.
Real life! Thought provoking, helpful and insightful. This book really helped me with a perspective that I needed this time in my life.
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- GamerBob
- 05-12-23
Enter the "The Valley of the Politically Correct"
I'd hoped to gain some insight from the point of view of a ciswoman whose husband had transitioned. What I was subjected to was a prolonged narrative of a whining Jewish girl's version of the death of her marriage. I only mention her faith because the author seems to batter the reader with her faith. I suffered through the entire book hoping to find some redeeming content. I was sadly disappointed. IF her spouse's actions were even half as toxic as she relates, All I can say is I'm very glad I have never met either of them on a personal level. But the book just felt like her own way of venting her own toxic anti-trans rant into the atmosphere.
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1 person found this helpful