Should've Been Dead
Lessons from a Crack Addict Who Broke Free
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Narrated by:
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Mark Garkusha
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Samantha Sayah
About this listen
An example of how, at any point, we each have the power to say, "This is not how the story ends." And Rory proves it.
“Just to warn you, he swears. A lot.”
I prepped my high school class for tomorrow’s speaker.
“He had a crack addiction, was living on the streets, and ended up buying the same laundromat he used to rest in. He turned it into a million-dollar business.”
“What?!! No way! How’d he do that?”
“You’ll have to wait for his answer.”
After seventeen years of chasing after crack cocaine, Rory Londer was crushed by failure. He had loving parents and was on honor roll lists, but addiction is a switch that can flip inside anyone. He had eaten food from the trash bin and starved in ten-degree weather, trying to collect quarters for one more hit. Now he’s a millionaire, but this story is not a rags-to-riches tale. It’s about emerging from the shadows of guilt and shame.
This collection of twelve lessons from Rory’s life is a guide to feeling like a disappointment, finding yourself, and then fighting for the life you want. High school teacher Sweta Patel interviewed Rory over two years to capture how building connections with others saved him. And when she brought his techniques to the classroom to connect with the hard-to-reach student, it was clear, his lessons aren’t for the addict alone
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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Brain Energy
- A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health—and Improving Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, OCD, PTSD, and More
- By: Christopher M. Palmer MD
- Narrated by: Christopher M. Palmer MD
- Length: 12 hrs and 18 mins
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We are in the midst of a global mental health crisis, and mental illnesses are on the rise. But what causes mental illness? And why are mental health problems so hard to treat? Drawing on decades of research, Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Chris Palmer outlines a revolutionary new understanding that for the first time unites our existing knowledge about mental illness within a single framework: mental disorders are metabolic disorders of the brain. Brain Energy will transform the field of mental health, and the lives of countless people around the world.
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Arguing brain health theory to medical profession
- By Maya H Saric on 03-10-23
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Happy Days
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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What if you could wake up every day without anxiety? View your past with purpose, not regret? Live happy, peaceful, and free from fear? You can - and Gabrielle Bernstein will show you the way. Gabby has long been loved by her listeners as a spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, and catalyst for profound inner change. Her new book presents her most powerful teaching yet: a plan for transforming the pain of your past, whatever that may be, into newfound strength and freedom.
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Healing is privileged
- By Tina Clayton on 02-26-22
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The Complete Guide to Fasting
- Heal Your Body Through Intermittent, Alternate-Day, and Extended Fasting
- By: Jimmy Moore, Dr. Jason Fung
- Narrated by: Jimmy Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
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Thousands of books have been written about the latest and greatest diets that will help people lose weight and improve health. But a key element in any successful nutritional health program is a tried-and-true method that most people haven't thought about - yet it could be revolutionary for taking health to the next level. This ancient secret is fasting.
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Hard to get through
- By MCT on 06-03-17
By: Jimmy Moore, and others
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Natural Rapid Weight Loss, Lose Weight Faster with Hypnosis, Meditation, and Affirmations
- The Sleep Learning System
- By: Joel Thielke
- Narrated by: Joel Thielke
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Naturally lose weight fast and get the body you've been wanting. Stop old habits in their tracks, shed pounds now, and feel amazing. Rapid weight loss is yours today with this powerful guided meditation program from the Sleep Learning System and world-renowned hypnotherapist Joel Thielke.
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My new favorite hypnosis audio!
- By Penny on 04-03-16
By: Joel Thielke
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
- How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 19 hrs and 53 mins
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Finally
- By zero on 12-08-16
By: Shahida Arabi
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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Something was wrong with Peter. Eilene Zimmerman noticed that her ex-husband looked thin, seemed distracted, and was frequently absent from activities with their children. Yet in many ways, Peter seemed to have it all. So begins Smacked, a brilliant and moving memoir of Eilene’s shocking discovery, one that sets her on a journey to find out how a man she knew for nearly 30 years became a drug addict, hiding it so well that neither she nor anyone else in his life suspected what was happening.
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Fantastic and captivating.
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At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. When Augusten is forced to examine himself, he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life - and live it sober. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power
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After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.
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Exhausting
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The honesty and story gripped me right from the beginning and never let go.
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David Sheff's story is a first: a teenager's addiction from the parent's point of view, a real-time chronicle of the shocking descent into substance abuse and the gradual emergence into hope.
Before meth, Sheff's son, Nic, was a varsity athlete, honor student, and award-winning journalist. After meth, he was a trembling wraith who stole money from his eight-year-old brother and lived on the streets. With haunting candor, Sheff traces the first warning signs, the attempts at rehabilitation, and, at last, the way past addiction. He shows us that, whatever an addict's fate, the rest of the family must care for one another, too, lest they become addicted to addiction.
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Been There
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Permanent Midnight
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A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
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By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Memoirs of an Addicted Brain
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Marc Lewis's relationship with drugs began in a New England boarding school where, as a bullied and homesick fifteen-year-old, he made brief escapes from reality by way of cough medicine, alcohol, and marijuana. In Berkeley, California, in its hippie heyday, he found methamphetamine and LSD and heroin. He sniffed nitrous oxide in Malaysia and frequented Calcutta's opium dens. Ultimately, though, his journey took him where it takes most addicts: into a life of addiction, desperation, deception, and crime.
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Insightful for Understanding Addiction
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Meth Monster: The Story of a Resurrected Life
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"The first chance I got, I bought my very first bag of crystal methamphetamine... A monster was born. Try as I might, there is simply no way for me to minimize the impact with which crystal meth slammed into my life, at least not without straying far from the truth. It was like throwing a forty-pound sledge hammer though a plate glass window. What a cunning thing this was that lived inside of me. How could I ever hope to win against it? My good intentions meant nothing what I lacked was power."
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Meth Monster
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High Achiever
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
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What listeners say about Should've Been Dead
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- Amy Olofson
- 07-16-24
Raw and honest
This book was so real. I didn’t want it to end! It was honest and the emotions could be felt.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Shelly Ogroske
- 09-26-24
Strength to Survive
Rory is an inspiration to anyone struggling with addiction and to help others better understand behavior of addicts & homeless people. They are people and need to be treated that way because not all can control their behavior at times. He is proof that with desire and opportunities' some can get through those difficult times and be successful even after 15 years. I have heard Rory speak twice and he is a true inspiration! The author did a wonderful jjob sharing his storyboard how he has impacted her life as well.
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- Sarah S.
- 08-22-24
Perseverance!
What an inspiration for others. Really tells the fight of an addict and advice for everyone.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Melinda Schroeder
- 07-28-24
Powerful Story
Our family listened to this book on vacation and we all loved it. Everything from heartbreak to hope, despair to dreams. It took us longer than the story to read because we often paused to discuss our thoughts and experiences in response. We walked away with a broader life view from this book.
Thanks you Rory for sharing your story, and Sweta for bringing it to us.
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- AAAN
- 07-04-24
I didn’t know!
While we all in a way or another struggle with addiction, our struggles vary. This book makes you pause and think how to react or respond to a person or history of addiction. It also helps you learn that a person is not just what you see. The story behind them is much more rich and deep. Take a moment to truly listen; you may save someone or change someone’s life.
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- Cody Lindquist
- 07-05-24
INSPIRATION AND HOPE
This story of Rory’s recovery journey is so empowering, liberating, inspirational, and full of hope!!! I have shared his story of hope with so many people and continue to get positive reviews over and over!! Thank you Rory and Sweta for sharing this with the world!!
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- Jessica P.
- 07-30-24
A must listen to for hope, encouragement and inspiration!
Rory’s story shows the raw side of addiction. So many people view addicts as who they were and not who they have became. Rory walks us through his life journey on the troubles of his addiction to what it took to become sober. I have even applied some of Indian Mike’s inspiration in my own life (and shared it with my daughter), and remind myself to stop thinking about myself to get myself out of my own negative thinking. Rory’s real life journey has become an inspiration and is a great story told well by Sweta!
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2 people found this helpful
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- pinske
- 07-16-24
A true story of Resilience and Hope
This book is a blend of raw emotion, honesty, and powerful storytelling that keeps you engaged from start to finish. Sweta’s writing brings Rory’s struggles and triumphs to life. Sweta writes with such detail that you feel Rory’s pain, hope, and eventual recovery. This book is so authentic. Sweta doesn’t shy away from the realities of addiction and recovery, providing a look at the challenges Rory faced. Yet, through it all, you feel a sense of hope and resilience that is inspiring.This audiobook is a great listen.
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- SchlaffyTaffy
- 08-06-24
Not *JUST* a story about recovery.
I’ll be forever moved by this story. I’m so grateful the author took a sabbatical to write down Rory’s story. It is clear to my why Sweta’s students at the ALCwere so moved by Rory’s story- but I was not expecting to find so many life lessons that would be applicable to the those not affected personally by addiction. The quick remarks, the blunt nature of advice and the retelling of how he maintained his sobriety were impactful!
Being from Rochester, MN, having a husband in recovery- now a licensed drug counselor, this biography was really personal and I fully enjoyed the retelling. My only disappointment was that the audiobook was not narrated by Rory himself. I respect the decision- but I would have loved to hear his voice.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-08-24
Heartfelt and honest story of compassion, determination and embracing the human spirit.
I enjoyed how Rory's story was told with honesty about what it's like to struggle with addiction. His explanation of how a switch flips for some leading them to do anything for that next high is dead on. The life lessons taught in the text are ones anyone can use. How we look at and treat people being the most important
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2 people found this helpful