
A Clean Mess
A Memoir of Sobriety After a Lifetime of Being Numb
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Narrated by:
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Tiffany Jenkins
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By:
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Tiffany Jenkins
About this listen
The bestselling author of High Achiever reckons with life after addiction in this darkly funny and emotionally raw new memoir
“For as long as I can remember my mind was like a train with only three stops. Stop number one—getting money for drugs. Stop number two—getting drugs. Stop number three—getting high. During the years I should have been learning to save money, file taxes, and pay bills, I was stuck on a train to nowhere. Now somehow my train was on a brand-new course to somewhere I’d never been, and I was the friggin’ conductor.”
After a brutal struggle with opioid addiction that landed her four months in prison, Tiffany was ready for a fresh start. What she didn't expect was just how fast life would happen once she was out of prison. She went from felon to married, sober mom of three in just two years. But life doesn’t stop happening; her marriage collapsed a few years later, a crisis that forced her reckoning with the foundations of her mental health and sobriety.
As she forged her future, Tiffany learned to feel emotions and live life without numbing herself with drugs. She had to figure out how to be a mom, how to have a career, how to be married, how to get divorced, how to be an adult, and how to have feelings all at the same time. With dark humor and page-turning storytelling, she shows how she learned to survive when her crutches and band aids were taken away from her, and the gratitude and peace she found on the other side of addiction.
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-
Story
With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
- By Jim Thompson on 10-16-19
By: Tiffany Jenkins
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Splinters
- Another Kind of Love Story
- By: Leslie Jamison
- Narrated by: Leslie Jamison
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Leslie Jamison has become one of our most beloved contemporary voices, a scribe of the real, the true, the complex. But while Jamison has never shied away from challenging material—scouring her own psyche and digging into our most unanswerable questions across four books—Splinters enters a new realm. In her first memoir, Jamison turns her unrivaled powers of perception on some of the most intimate relationships of her life: her consuming love for her young daughter, a ruptured marriage once swollen with hope, and the shaping legacy of her own parents’ complicated bond.
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Felt too self indulgent - even for a memoir
- By Kristin H on 09-27-24
By: Leslie Jamison
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Who Deserves Your Love
- How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship
- By: KC Davis LPC
- Narrated by: KC Davis LPC
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
KC Davis, the renowned therapist who specializes in difficult relationships, asks and answers these questions. Just as she helps you design a functional home in How to Keep House While Drowning, here she applies the same bold but gentle approach to relationships so that they function, too. She helps you navigate decisions in every type of relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Recognizing that it isn’t always realistic to cut loose the people who rattle you, she explores how to protect yourself in those situations.
By: KC Davis LPC
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Stop Bullshitting Yourself
- By: Drew Hanlen
- Narrated by: Chris Abell
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Legendary NBA trainer Drew Hanlen—performance coach to stars like MVP Joel Embiid and Jayson Tatum—reveals his proven, step-by-step system for personal and professional transformation that has fueled the success of some of the top athletes and business leaders in the world.
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The interactive pages
- By jr. on 03-10-25
By: Drew Hanlen
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Not Your Average Drug Addict Whore
- A Life So Wrong It Went Right
- By: Sherry Lynne Williams
- Narrated by: Sherry Williams
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Not Your Average Drug Addict Whore follows the threads linking the extraordinary, oftentimes intense, events of a journey to self-realizing. It is a witness to truth, that a life is never broken, it is purely a singular life on its singular journey.
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Strangers and Intimates
- The Rise and Fall of Private Life
- By: Tiffany Jenkins
- Narrated by: Tiffany Jenkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tiffany Jenkins’s groundbreaking book traces the emergence of private sanctuaries from authority and public opinion to show that private life is a very recent – and hard-won – achievement. Strangers and Intimates is animated by dramatic human confrontations: from the political struggles in the seventeenth century that led to Edmund Coke’s rallying cry that ‘an Englishman’s home is his castle’; to the first modern privacy panic in 1844, when the British government opened private letters sent to the exiled Italian republican Giuseppe Mazzini; and more.
By: Tiffany Jenkins
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High Achiever
- The Incredible True Story of One Addict's Double Life
- By: Tiffany Jenkins
- Narrated by: Tiffany Jenkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
-
-
I Get it, You Were an Addict
- By Jim Thompson on 10-16-19
By: Tiffany Jenkins
-
Splinters
- Another Kind of Love Story
- By: Leslie Jamison
- Narrated by: Leslie Jamison
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Leslie Jamison has become one of our most beloved contemporary voices, a scribe of the real, the true, the complex. But while Jamison has never shied away from challenging material—scouring her own psyche and digging into our most unanswerable questions across four books—Splinters enters a new realm. In her first memoir, Jamison turns her unrivaled powers of perception on some of the most intimate relationships of her life: her consuming love for her young daughter, a ruptured marriage once swollen with hope, and the shaping legacy of her own parents’ complicated bond.
-
-
Felt too self indulgent - even for a memoir
- By Kristin H on 09-27-24
By: Leslie Jamison
-
Who Deserves Your Love
- How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship
- By: KC Davis LPC
- Narrated by: KC Davis LPC
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
KC Davis, the renowned therapist who specializes in difficult relationships, asks and answers these questions. Just as she helps you design a functional home in How to Keep House While Drowning, here she applies the same bold but gentle approach to relationships so that they function, too. She helps you navigate decisions in every type of relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Recognizing that it isn’t always realistic to cut loose the people who rattle you, she explores how to protect yourself in those situations.
By: KC Davis LPC
-
Stop Bullshitting Yourself
- By: Drew Hanlen
- Narrated by: Chris Abell
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Legendary NBA trainer Drew Hanlen—performance coach to stars like MVP Joel Embiid and Jayson Tatum—reveals his proven, step-by-step system for personal and professional transformation that has fueled the success of some of the top athletes and business leaders in the world.
-
-
The interactive pages
- By jr. on 03-10-25
By: Drew Hanlen
-
Not Your Average Drug Addict Whore
- A Life So Wrong It Went Right
- By: Sherry Lynne Williams
- Narrated by: Sherry Williams
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Not Your Average Drug Addict Whore follows the threads linking the extraordinary, oftentimes intense, events of a journey to self-realizing. It is a witness to truth, that a life is never broken, it is purely a singular life on its singular journey.
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Spot the Narcissist
- The Ultimate Guide to Becoming Un-Manipulatable
- By: Meadow DeVor
- Narrated by: Meadow DeVor
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What if someone close to you isn’t who they seem? The charming friend who twists your words. The partner whose love feels like a trap. The coworker whose actions leave you doubting your own mind. Could they be a narcissist? In Spot the Narcissist: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming Un-Manipulatable, you’ll uncover the hidden signs of toxic behaviors, the manipulation tactics that keep you stuck, and the tools to break free. Whether you’re questioning a current relationship or trying to recover from a past one, this guide is your step-by-step roadmap to clarity, healing, and freedom.
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I wish I had this earlier
- By Turtle Dove 93 on 03-27-25
By: Meadow DeVor
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
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Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed
- Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role
- By: Rebecca C. Mandeville MFT
- Narrated by: Patricia Burgos
- Length: 2 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Family scapegoating is an insidious form of "invisible" abuse that is difficult to recognize. It is therefore critical that adult survivors of dysfunctional or narcissistic family systems understand what type of abuse they are trying to recover from. In Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, licensed psychotherapist and family systems expert Rebecca C. Mandeville uses her research findings on what she named "Family Scapegoating Abuse" (FSA) to help survivors recognize and release the damaging "scapegoat" narrative associated with the family "identified patient" role.
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Sister Wife
- A Memoir of Faith, Family, and Finding Freedom
- By: Christine Brown Woolley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Christine Brown Woolley had always dreamed of having a picture-perfect family—beautiful children, an adoring husband, and of course, a sisterhood of wives to share him with. Raised in Utah by practicing polygamists, Christine knew her life was less than normal, but that didn’t stop her from loving the full house of her childhood any less. Becoming Kody Brown’s third wife in 1994, Christine finally found the big, happy family she had hoped for.
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The Recovering
- By: Leslie Jamison
- Narrated by: Author
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With its deeply personal and seamless blend of memoir, cultural history, literary criticism, and reportage, The Recovering turns our understanding of the traditional addiction narrative on its head, demonstrating that the story of recovery can be every bit as electrifying as the train wreck itself. Leslie Jamison deftly excavates the stories we tell about addiction - both her own and others' - and examines what we want these stories to do and what happens when they fail us. All the while, she offers a fascinating look at the larger history of the recovery movement and at the complicated bearing that race and class have on our understanding of who is criminal and who is ill.
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Waaaaaaayyyyyy Too Long
- By Helene Roberts on 05-25-18
By: Leslie Jamison
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Awake
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Hatmaker
- Narrated by: Jen Hatmaker
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
An Avid Reader Press book. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every listener.At 2:30 a.m. on July 11th, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to her husband of twenty-six years whispering in his phone to another woman from their bed. It was the end of life as she knew it. In the months that followed, she went from being a shiny, funny, popular leader, to a divorced wreck on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds parenting five kids alone with no clue about her own bank accounts.
By: Jen Hatmaker
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How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend
- A Neuroscientist's Guide to a Healthier, Happier Life
- By: Rachel Barr
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Rachel Barr struggled through years of devastating loss, heartache, and uncertainty until neuroscience gave her the first spark of self-belief she had felt in her adult life — and proof that, because of the brain’s near-infinite potential for neuroplastic change, it’s never too late to carve out neural pathways to form new habits, new skills, and new ways of thinking.
By: Rachel Barr
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Ordinary Time
- Lessons Learned While Staying Put
- By: Annie B. Jones
- Narrated by: Annie B. Jones, Emily P. Freeman
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Annie Jones always assumed adulthood would mean adventure: a high-powered career; life in a big, bustling city; and travels to far-flung places she’d longed to see. But her reality turned out differently. As the years passed, Annie was still in the same small town running an independent bookstore—the kind of life Nora Ephron dreamed.
By: Annie B. Jones
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Heavily Meditated
- The Fast Path to Remove Your Triggers, Dissolve Stress, and Activate Inner Peace
- By: Dave Asprey
- Narrated by: Dave Asprey
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In his twenties, Dave Asprey battled debilitating brain fog and chronic fatigue syndrome. Frustrated by his broken brain, he embarked on a lifelong quest to upgrade his “MeatOS”—to fix his brain, biohack his biology to live past the age of 180, and push the boundaries of human potential. Asprey discovered that cultivating a mentally and physically healthy life depends on a solid grounding for our inner life. Now, in this, his sixth book, he shares the mind-blowing discoveries he has found.
By: Dave Asprey
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My Next Breath
- A Memoir
- By: Jeremy Renner
- Narrated by: Jeremy Renner
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner was the second-most-googled person in 2023—and not for his impressive filmography. His searing portrayals on film ranged from an Iraq-based army bomb technician in The Hurt Locker and a Boston bank robber in The Town to a crooked Camden mayor in American Hustle before he became heir to the Jason Bourne franchise (The Bourne Legacy). Amongst other iconic roles, he also captured hearts as fan-favorite comic book marksman Hawkeye in seven Marvel films.
By: Jeremy Renner
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The Power of Positive Mindset
- Learn How to Overcome Negative Thought Patterns, Breakthrough Limiting Beliefs, and Manifest True Transformation with Focus and Clarity
- By: Joseph Monfils
- Narrated by: Michael Hanko
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Power of Positive Mindset, you’ll discover how to shift your thinking, overcome negative thought patterns, and break free from the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back. This transformative guide offers you the tools and techniques needed to rewire your mind for success, allowing you to manifest the life you’ve always dreamed of with focus and clarity.
By: Joseph Monfils
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I Thought It Would Be Better than This
- Rise from Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love
- By: Jessica N. Turner
- Narrated by: Jessica N. Turner
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What happens when you look at your life and think, I thought it would be better than this? You know you can’t stay where you are, but have no idea what to do next. When Jessica N. Turner, a mom of three, lost her 16-year-marriage after her husband came out as gay, her life shattered. With grit and determination, she picked up the pieces, chose hope and courageously rebuilt a beautiful next chapter.
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A must for anyone at any age!
- By Stephanie Click on 04-14-25