Ted
An Extreme Horror Short Story
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $3.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Chris Barnes
-
By:
-
Matt Shaw
About this listen
Ted is a character from Rotting Dead F--ks. This is a stand-alone story.
Some people are destined for greatness. They could create fantastic pieces of art to be discussed throughout the ages, they could invest something which furthers mankind, and they could even help solve world hunger or make important steps toward world peace for everyone. These people could be your friends, your neighbors, and even the person you unwittingly bumped into at the petrol station this morning. They could really be anyone - anyone, that is, except Ted.
Ted is an asshole - a psychopathic, racist human of the worst kind.
Whilst the aforementioned people push the human race forward, Ted takes them back to the Dark Ages again with his narrow-minded, idiotic views of right and wrong. Just be thankful he sees a psychiatrist. At least, if he is talking to someone about his feelings, he is less of a danger to society, right?
Wrong.
Join Ted for a day in the life of f--ked up thoughts, appointments, and hookers. And then thank God it was only a day and not longer.
©2015 Matt Shaw (P)2015 Matt ShawListeners also enjoyed...
-
Diary of a Dead Man: The Final Thoughts of Ed Boothe
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ed Boothe was convicted of killing more than half a dozen girls. It is believed he killed many, many more. His methods were brutal and documented here, along with his fascination of collecting body parts. Up until his execution, he showed no remorse for his acts.
By: Matt Shaw
-
She'll Never Know
- A Dark Horror
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Robert Nash is unlucky in love. He is so unlucky in love, in fact, that he has never been with another living person. And that's not about to change any time soon when his latest date is far from living.
-
-
lol yea wtf
- By Canday Jones on 04-30-22
By: Matt Shaw
-
Oscar's Night
- An Extreme Novella
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People laughed at him when he said he wanted to be a movie star, and yet here he was - the biggest night of his life - collecting his Oscar for "Best Actor". Grinning like an idiot, he couldn't even recall the speech he gave to the camera...The camera and a room full of actors, directors, and producers - people who used to look down their nose at him whenever he had a new film coming out (usually an over the top action film with huge explosions and slow-mo gun battles). They're not looking down their nose at him now though.
By: Matt Shaw
-
She
- An Extremely Twisted Short Story
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Matt Shaw (Sick B*stards) comes a new short story following a working girl as she tries getting her life back on track after one session goes very, very wrong. Violent, tragic, sad, and sweet. This one has everything.
-
-
What a surprising gift!
- By Jon Weimer on 06-15-16
By: Matt Shaw
-
Paralysed
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Craig Beck
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Warning: This is an extreme horror novel. There is gore. There is bad language. There are scenes of a sexual nature. But hidden underneath it all is also a chilling story. Please do not purchase....
By: Matt Shaw
-
Roe V. Wade: An Extreme Horror
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Matt Shaw
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The year is 2032, and five-year-old Jacob is opening the biggest gift, beneath the Christmas tree, which is labeled for him: his very first semi-automatic rifle—and he couldn't be prouder. He smiles to his parents who sit close by. They don't smile back. Their minds are stuck on earlier events of what should have been a magical day: the moment they found out Jacob was set to be a brother.
-
-
If You Aren't Unsettled...
- By Kim Dietter on 08-14-23
By: Matt Shaw
-
Diary of a Dead Man: The Final Thoughts of Ed Boothe
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ed Boothe was convicted of killing more than half a dozen girls. It is believed he killed many, many more. His methods were brutal and documented here, along with his fascination of collecting body parts. Up until his execution, he showed no remorse for his acts.
By: Matt Shaw
-
She'll Never Know
- A Dark Horror
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Robert Nash is unlucky in love. He is so unlucky in love, in fact, that he has never been with another living person. And that's not about to change any time soon when his latest date is far from living.
-
-
lol yea wtf
- By Canday Jones on 04-30-22
By: Matt Shaw
-
Oscar's Night
- An Extreme Novella
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People laughed at him when he said he wanted to be a movie star, and yet here he was - the biggest night of his life - collecting his Oscar for "Best Actor". Grinning like an idiot, he couldn't even recall the speech he gave to the camera...The camera and a room full of actors, directors, and producers - people who used to look down their nose at him whenever he had a new film coming out (usually an over the top action film with huge explosions and slow-mo gun battles). They're not looking down their nose at him now though.
By: Matt Shaw
-
She
- An Extremely Twisted Short Story
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Matt Shaw (Sick B*stards) comes a new short story following a working girl as she tries getting her life back on track after one session goes very, very wrong. Violent, tragic, sad, and sweet. This one has everything.
-
-
What a surprising gift!
- By Jon Weimer on 06-15-16
By: Matt Shaw
-
Paralysed
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Craig Beck
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Warning: This is an extreme horror novel. There is gore. There is bad language. There are scenes of a sexual nature. But hidden underneath it all is also a chilling story. Please do not purchase....
By: Matt Shaw
-
Roe V. Wade: An Extreme Horror
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Matt Shaw
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The year is 2032, and five-year-old Jacob is opening the biggest gift, beneath the Christmas tree, which is labeled for him: his very first semi-automatic rifle—and he couldn't be prouder. He smiles to his parents who sit close by. They don't smile back. Their minds are stuck on earlier events of what should have been a magical day: the moment they found out Jacob was set to be a brother.
-
-
If You Aren't Unsettled...
- By Kim Dietter on 08-14-23
By: Matt Shaw
-
One Violent Motherf--ker
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Julian Seager
- Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever been cut up by another road user? Have you have been stuck behind some idiot driving well below the speed limit? Have you ever had to swerve to avoid someone who hasn't used their indicators? Have you ever been served by rude staff members who clearly don't want to be working? Have you ever listened to just how rude old people can be? Ever got frustrated listening to the excessive open-mouthed chewing of someone sitting near you? Have you ever been cheated on by a partner? Paul James has and...he's had enough.
-
-
There's a Lot Happening
- By Kim Dietter on 10-20-23
By: Matt Shaw
-
Full Brutal
- By: Kristopher Triana
- Narrated by: Dani George
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kim White is a very popular cheerleader. She’s pretty, healthy, and comes from a well-off family. She has everything a girl of 16 is supposed to want. And she’s sick to death of it. In search of something to pull her out of her suicidal thoughts, she begrudgingly decides to lose her virginity, having heard it’s a life-changing event.
-
-
Narrator On Fire!
- By Murder Junky on 09-09-21
-
Three Little Pigs
- The Pig, The House & Ouija Pig
- By: Edward Lee
- Narrated by: Jesse Holt
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three Little Pigs collects all three books to form the complete Pig Series, for the first time ever. Edward Lee carves his own extreme horror path within Book 1: The Pig and Book 2: The House and completes the trifecta with the all-new, gore-induced, much anticipated novella, Pig Ouija.
-
-
Awesome
- By Amazon Customer on 10-30-23
By: Edward Lee
-
The Television
- By: Edward Lee
- Narrated by: Rain Corbyn
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Burnstow is an ordinary little town populated by ordinary people. Farthing is an ordinary guy that has just inherited an ordinary mobile home in an ordinary trailer park. Farthing looks forward to a nice, quiet, ordinary life.
-
-
Wow.
- By Matt Williams on 08-05-23
By: Edward Lee
-
Playground
- By: Aron Beauregard
- Narrated by: Lila Kerry
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three low-income families have been given a handsome retainer to join Geraldine Borden for a day at her cliffside estate. All the parents must do to collect the rest of their money is allow their children to test out the revolutionary playground equipment Geraldine has been working on for decades. But there’s a reason the structures in the bowels of her gothic castle have taken so long to develop—they were never meant to see the light of day.
-
-
Not for the weak-stomached.
- By Dan Bugbee on 01-26-23
By: Aron Beauregard
-
Ex-Boogeyman
- By: Kristopher Triana
- Narrated by: Chuck Brugee
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As Nicky Hector—the unstoppable slasher from the Lunatic horror movie franchise—Jonathan Zain reached levels of fame once unimaginable to a young actor. On top of headlining fifteen films, he appeared on MTV, had his own 976 number, and became one of the most recognizable faces of the 1980s. But that was thirty years ago. Now it’s 2010, and Zain is a has-been celebrity making his living signing autographs at fan conventions, a relic of the bygone slasher movie boom.
-
-
so 80s horror
- By Mdc on 11-06-24
-
Brute
- By: Ash Ericmore
- Narrated by: Vicki-Jo Eva
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Grace is canvasing for the Green Party. Ugh. Knocking on doors in a clearly conservative road. The first house is a bust, and when the second offers a kindly gent looking for assistance–she can do nothing but offer to help.
By: Ash Ericmore
-
Born to Run
- A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen
- By: Christopher McDougall
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Isolated by Mexico's deadly Copper Canyons, the blissful Tarahumara Indians have honed the ability to run hundreds of miles without rest or injury. In a riveting narrative, award-winning journalist and often-injured runner Christopher McDougall sets out to discover their secrets. In the process, he takes his readers from science labs at Harvard to the sun-baked valleys and freezing peaks across North America, where ever-growing numbers of ultra-runners are pushing their bodies to the limit.
-
-
Amazing read - even for non-runners
- By Corey on 05-31-09
-
The Gravedigger
- An Extreme-Horror Story
- By: Wade H. Garrett
- Narrated by: Drew Blood
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When 12-year-old Brandon Walker’s family is brutally murdered and the ruthless perpetrators escape prosecution, Brandon turns to the local gravedigger for justice. Shadowed by a cloud of mystery and local folklore, the gravedigger unleashes the most violent and horrific acts of retribution upon the guilty. Unbeknownst to Brandon, a naïve adolescent, his quest for justice opens a gateway to Hell for the condemned.
-
-
The gore but the ending as a dad made me smile.
- By Anonymous User on 08-29-24
By: Wade H. Garrett
-
Modern Hysteria
- By: Aron Beauregard
- Narrated by: John Wayne Comunale
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A mysterious internet figure, known only as Mr. Boy, is preying on depressed teenagers and brainwashing them into horrific acts of self-harm and suicide. The macabre message behind "The Dropout Challenge" is simple: Drop out of sight. Drop out of school. Drop out of society. Drop out of life altogether.
-
-
Definitely a good story.
- By Nate G. Beaumont, TX on 11-14-24
By: Aron Beauregard
-
Lost Connections
- Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
- By: Johann Hari
- Narrated by: Johann Hari
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the New York Times best-selling author of Chasing the Scream, a radically new way of thinking about depression and anxiety. What really causes depression and anxiety - and how can we really solve them?
-
-
Heartfelt, but not convincing
- By Brett on 03-18-18
By: Johann Hari
-
The Slob
- By: Aron Beauregard
- Narrated by: Lila Kerry
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Raised in a household so filthy it was stomach-spilling, Vera involuntarily evolved into a neat freak. Upon discovering she and her disabled husband, Daniel, are expecting, she needs fast cash. Her obsession with cleanliness sprouts the concept that her skills can be put to use in a unique way. She takes a stab at the booming door-to-door vacuum sales business of 1988. All is going well until she arrives at the steps of a house that will change her forever. The steps of an evil that resurrects the ghastly memories she so desperately tried to wash away.
-
-
I don't know why this was written.
- By Amazon Customer on 04-17-22
By: Aron Beauregard
Related to this topic
-
Booked for the Holidays
- By: Liz Maverick
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky, Andrew Eiden
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When mystery author D. B. Ziegler is late delivering her book, Abi Schore steps in to help. Surely she can give her favorite author moral support over the holiday break and get the manuscript to her boss at Tea & Sympathy Publishing in time for the new year. When Abi shows up on Ms. Ziegler’s doorstep bearing holiday treats, she’s met by the author’s handsome grandson Dov, who reveals a startling plot twist. His grandmother isn’t able to finish the book and Dov promised he’d complete it so fans won’t be disappointed—a task that’s harder than he ever imagined.
-
-
What a gem!
- By Joanna N. on 11-14-24
By: Liz Maverick
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Dead Med
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso, Scott Merriman
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Heather McKinley dreamed of becoming a doctor, she imagined curing sick kids and sporting pink stethoscopes. She never anticipated the sleepless nights, grueling exams, and endless labs. And she certainly never knew that her medical school earned the nickname Dead Med thanks to the tragic history of students overdosing on illegal drugs. But Heather would never consider doing anything like that. That is, until her longtime boyfriend dumps her, she finds herself failing anatomy, and her world starts to crumble.
-
-
Hmm
- By Morgan Meaux on 08-22-24
By: Freida McFadden
-
Holiday Hideaway
- A Short Story
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
-
-
I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
-
-
Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
-
Booked for the Holidays
- By: Liz Maverick
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky, Andrew Eiden
- Length: 3 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When mystery author D. B. Ziegler is late delivering her book, Abi Schore steps in to help. Surely she can give her favorite author moral support over the holiday break and get the manuscript to her boss at Tea & Sympathy Publishing in time for the new year. When Abi shows up on Ms. Ziegler’s doorstep bearing holiday treats, she’s met by the author’s handsome grandson Dov, who reveals a startling plot twist. His grandmother isn’t able to finish the book and Dov promised he’d complete it so fans won’t be disappointed—a task that’s harder than he ever imagined.
-
-
What a gem!
- By Joanna N. on 11-14-24
By: Liz Maverick
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Dead Med
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso, Scott Merriman
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Heather McKinley dreamed of becoming a doctor, she imagined curing sick kids and sporting pink stethoscopes. She never anticipated the sleepless nights, grueling exams, and endless labs. And she certainly never knew that her medical school earned the nickname Dead Med thanks to the tragic history of students overdosing on illegal drugs. But Heather would never consider doing anything like that. That is, until her longtime boyfriend dumps her, she finds herself failing anatomy, and her world starts to crumble.
-
-
Hmm
- By Morgan Meaux on 08-22-24
By: Freida McFadden
-
Holiday Hideaway
- A Short Story
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
-
-
I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
-
The Art of War
- By: Sun Tzu
- Narrated by: Aidan Gillen
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
-
-
The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Fred271 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
-
Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
-
-
Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
-
Technically Speaking
- By: Michael Elliot
- Narrated by: Coco Jones, Keith Powers, Queen Latifah, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Oakland-bred LaVeesha “Vee” Gilliam (Coco Jones) is a determined single mother of an autistic son and a gifted aspiring coder. When Vee loses her job as a food-services worker at the onsite restaurant at Grapengine, a large Silicon Valley tech company, she’s unable to pay for her son’s much-needed specialized education. By a twist of fate, mistaken identity, and her tech skills, Vee meets Troy Wilson (Keith Powers), the company’s wealthy founder and CEO and a wunderkind in the tech industry, who believes that Vee is a college-educated techie who works at his company.
-
-
Overdue Diverse Representation in Tech!
- By Jatai Pollock on 09-26-24
By: Michael Elliot
-
Ghost Stories: Stephen Fry's Definitive Collection
- By: Stephen Fry, Washington Irving, M.R. James, and others
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As the days grow shorter and the temperature drops, Halloween approaches. Come, brave listener, pull up a chair, and spend some time with master storyteller Stephen Fry as he tells us some of his favourite ghost stories of all time, in truly terrifying spatial audio. From the headless horseman of Sleepy Hollow to the tortured spirits of M.R. James, from Edgar Allan Poe’s terrifying tale of a doppelganger to Charlotte Riddell’s Open Door that should definitely stay shut, join Stephen as he tells you some truly terrifying tales.
-
-
Wonderful narration. Mediocre stories.
- By Michael Fuchs on 11-07-23
By: Stephen Fry, and others
-
Fahrenheit 451
- By: Ray Bradbury
- Narrated by: Tim Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Guy Montag is a fireman. In his world, where television rules and literature is on the brink of extinction, firemen start fires rather than put them out. His job is to destroy the most illegal of commodities, the printed book, along with the houses in which they are hidden. Montag never questions the destruction and ruin his actions produce, returning each day to his bland life and wife, Mildred, who spends all day with her television "family."
-
-
Wish I Hadn't Cliff Noted This in High School
- By Joel on 03-27-17
By: Ray Bradbury
-
Brain Damage
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Megan Tusing
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As Charly struggles to recover from her brain injury, she begins to realize that the events of that fateful night are trapped in the damaged right side of her brain. Now, she must put the jigsaw pieces together to discover the identity of the man who tried to kill her...before he finishes the job he started.
-
-
Who Else Laughed, Cried, and Shuddered?
- By Jennifer Chichester on 09-16-22
By: Freida McFadden
-
Starship Troopers
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Johnnie Rico never really intended to join up—and definitely not the infantry. But now that he’s in the thick of it, trying to get through combat training harder than anything he could have imagined, he knows everyone in his unit is one bad move away from buying the farm in the interstellar war the Terran Federation is waging against the Arachnids. Because everyone in the Mobile Infantry fights. And if the training doesn’t kill you, the Bugs are more than ready to finish the job.
-
-
The definitive version!
- By Kristopher G. Hesson on 10-03-24
-
Slayers: A Buffyverse Story
- By: Christopher Golden, Amber Benson
- Narrated by: Amber Benson, Charisma Carpenter, James Charles Leary, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Original cast members from the beloved TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reunite for an all-new adventure about connections that never die—even if you bury them. A decade has passed since the epic final battle that concluded Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV). The game-changing spell that gave power to all potential Slayers persists. With new Slayers constantly emerging, things are looking grim for the bad guys.
-
-
A dream come true
- By Anonymous User on 10-12-23
By: Christopher Golden, and others
What listeners say about Ted
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 02-27-16
Racist With Good Manners
This story sort of feels like a cut scene from a larger book. Ted can only discribed as a product of Public schools education and lots of unvarified news . That said it's still funny listening to this story his line of thinking and what our writer decides the character should act on. It's got replay value.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jon Weimer
- 06-15-16
Darkly Funny Definitely NSFW
Much of Matt's work is darkly funny, but this one made me laugh till I cried.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dawnzilla
- 09-16-15
It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
Ted is the story of a guy named - well - Ted. Ted is a racist, sexist jerk who originally appeared in Matt Shaw's "Rotting Dead F*cks." Not only is he all of these things, but he's a sociopath to top it off. If that doesn't make him endearing enough, he also hires prostitutes on a regular basis.
In "Ted," Ted hires a hooker after leaving his psychologist's office. The hooker he wants to hire is a tall, cute blonde and what he gets instead is a black woman. You can only imagine what happens from there.
Those who have read my reviews on this site know how much I respect Shaw as an author and Chris Barnes as a narrator. Scratch that. He's not a narrator, he's a performer. He does such an incredible job bringing this and other characters to life that you may easily forget your listening to a book and not the ramblings of a crazy man.
Remember what you're getting yourself into with this one. It even comes with a warning at the beginning. If you are easily offended by racists, misogynists, or otherwise ignorant people, or if a lot of vulgarity and sex doesn't do it for you - STAY AWAY!
However, if you like an entertaining, quality story, listen to the sample (FIRST) then, pick up your copy. It's disturbing, but a hell of a fun ride.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Midwestbonsai
- 09-16-15
want to be disgusted very quickly, you must listen
Queue the music.
Come and listen to a story about a man named Ted,
A crazy sociopath, would rather see everyone dead,
And then one day something happened that did not compute,
This happened while he was having sex with a prostitute.
Call girl that is, hooker, street walker.
The above little jingle pretty much sums up the story of Ted.
Matt Shaw once again delivers a disturbing tale, that is up there on the vulgarity. This is the only reason I would call this a horror, much more of a psychological thriller. I did learn more than I ever wanted to about sexual terms such as, donkey punch,
Ted is a racist misogynistic sociopath that is obsessed with sex. Here Shaw takes us on a ride within the head of Ted as he has a good day. On this day Ted see’s his therapist, has sex with a prostitute and gets the scare of his life. I cannot give more detail than that without telling the whole story. I would not want to know what a bad day for Ted would be.
If you want to be disgusted very quickly, you must listen.
I am not sure how Chris Barnes can keep narrating Shaw’s books. Especially because he performs them so well. He does not just read the words, he brings them to life. In a way that makes everything seem so believable. I think that might be the most disturbing part of these audiobooks.
Audiobook provided for review by the narrator.
Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog
[If this review helped, please press YES. Thanks!]
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
11 people found this helpful