Texts from Jane Eyre Audiobook By Mallory Ortberg cover art

Texts from Jane Eyre

And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

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Texts from Jane Eyre

By: Mallory Ortberg
Narrated by: Zach Villa, Amy Landon
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About this listen

Mallory Ortberg, co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters.

Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car.

Based on the popular Web feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mash-up that brings the characters from your favorite books into the 21st century.

©2014 Mallory Ortberg (P)2015 Tantor
Satire Comedy Witty Funny Feel-Good
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Critic reviews

"This is the best kind of English-major humor. There's not a weak point in the book; it's terrific, snicker-inducing fun throughout." ( Library Journal)

What listeners say about Texts from Jane Eyre

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Very funny!!

Brings classic characters into the present day and gives examples of their "texts" to each other.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Very different from both TITLE and SAMPLE!

Both the title and the sample reading refer to only one selection in this book, which, at the very least, is misleading. The Jane Eyre section is delightful, but the book consists of similar treatments of other famous but more antique writing and nothing else seems as wonderfully well done.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Charming, Often Hilarious 2+ Hours!

I work the graveyard shift, when my charges are asleep. While I was listening to this, "Texts from Jane Eyre", I laughed so loud I was afraid I was going to wake some of them up.
This is a totally light listen, spoofs and twists that are immensely enjoyable. It sure does help if you know the characters, but I don't think you need to know thaaaat much to find it fun. From Achilles, who's a sullen sod, to "Atlas Shrugged", where during a conversation, "COMMUNISM!" is suddenly shouted, "Jane Eyre", where Mr. Rochester smirks lightly about attics and cellars, to "The Outsiders", where Pony Boy waxes obsessively about eye color, there's a wide variety of original works that are so very enjoyable. "Hamlet" is glorious, "The Lorax" comes off as a pathetically exhausted creature whose emails mostly go to your Spam folder, William Blake has just one more drawing to give, and yes, he must admit, it's of someone being flayed, but who can have enough pictures of flayings?
I was worried that a lot would be lost in translation as texts are rather visual and punctuated with abbreviated 'text-speak', but I needn't have been worried: the narration is brilliant. Each narrator slips back and forth between characters seamlessly and the emotion they fill into each text is to die for.
Don't expect literary depth here; these are just snippets. But the snapshots they provide are hilarious and often provide a measure of depth and 'humanity' if you will to characters known and loved. And, hey! It's barely two hours. It's like eavesdropping only far more entertaining!

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29 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Turning texts into conversation

What made the experience of listening to Texts from Jane Eyre the most enjoyable?

This was a wonderful audiobook, very funny and lots of enjoyable references for classic lit, mythology, and history fans. What made it most enjoyable was the fact that the two actors were able to change their tones to bring so many characters to life. Their performance helped convey the humor in every exchange, even ones where you may not have the knowledge about the subject matter to help inform the humor in the conversations.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

The snark flows nicely.

Imagine some of the famous (and infamous) characters from literature, including mythology, having access to the modern technology of texting and voice mail. The exchange between Gilgamesh and Ishtar is very funny. She is trying to convince him to come join her and he repeatedly points out that her former boyfriends are either dead or MIA. Plato trying to explain the allegory of the cave is hysterical. He is trying to explain it to someone who is taking it literally and wants to go save all the poor cave dwellers before the fire gets to them. It includes more modern works also, like two characters from Fight Club, discussing Fight Club. Never seen the movie or read the book but I do know the first rule of Fight Club so it was very funny.

Texts from Jane Eyre is a great deal of fun to listen to. The narrators do an amazing job with the different characters and the emotions. The snark flows nicely. This is also one book that I think would work much much better as an audio than reading it. I did not read the book, physical or kindle. I listened to the Audible version.

I know I am not doing this book justice in my description. It really is funny. The only reason is rated 4 instead of 5 stars because I am woefully ignorant of some of the pieces featured, like Daisy Miller, The Outsiders, and The Babysitters Club. At two hours and twenty-two minutes, this is the perfect listen for a drive or just some free time that you would like to to be filled with humor.

#Clever #Funny #Witty #tagsgiving #sweepstakes

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Funny

Yes, this could be very funny. If vulgar language bothers you, note that many chapters were bad.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

my go to on a bad day!

Normally, after I finish a book I take it off my phone. This book however is my go to on a bad day or when I just need a laugh. It was a random purchase, which has turned into one of my favorite things. I know all the characters from their original stories, so there random, text make me laugh. I even went back and read read some of these old favorites after listing to this book.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

One big inside joke

If you haven't read the texts this book parodies, you'll be completely lost. However, if you've at least a passing familiarity with classic literature, you'll find this book amusing and occasionally insightful. At their best, these texts capture the emotional force or central idea of a literary work. Of course, some miss the mark, and I question the selection process for what works are included--Sweet Valley High? Really?--but overall this is an enjoyable ride.

The narrators also do a great job of shifting between characters and accents, an impressive feat.

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17 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

it is as the description stated

Cute, quirky, its own kind of narrative style witch creates a atmosphere and humor as if many of literatures most famous characters, and authors

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great little diversion

I really loved this. it went along at a great pace. I liked the books used, I have read about 75% of them and know something about the others. I was so disappointed when it was over.

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1 person found this helpful