Where the Hell Is Tesla?
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Rob Dircks
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By:
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Rob Dircks
About this listen
Sci-fi odyssey. Comedy. Love story. And of course, Nikola Tesla.
I'll let Chip, the main character, tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an “INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSFER APPARATUS" - that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that's just where the crazy starts."
Chip's Official Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you're listening to this - trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.
Or did they?
I'm kidding. Of course they didn't.
Or did they?
God, I can't keep my big mouth shut.
©2015 Rob Dircks (P)2015 Rob DircksListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"★★★★★ This novel is hilarious. I was smiling throughout the entire book.” (AudiobookReviewer.com)
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By: Richard Kadrey
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You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
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The Punch Escrow
- By: Tal M. Klein
- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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Waste of Space
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg, Maxwell Glick
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Cram 10 hormonal teens into a spaceship and blast off: that's the premise for the ill-conceived reality show Waste of Space. The kids who are cast know everything about drama - and nothing about the fact that the production is fake. Hidden in a desert warehouse, their spaceship replica is equipped with state-of-the-art special effects dreamed up by the scientists partnering with the shady cable network airing the show.
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#CatchPhraseForever
- By Diane S. on 07-28-17
By: Gina Damico
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Double Digit
- By: Annabel Monaghan
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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To say eighteen-year-old Farrah Higgins—or Digit—is good at math is a laughable understatement. She’s been cracking codes since childhood, and is finally at home with “her people” at MIT in Cambridge. Her talents are so off the charts that her laptop is under surveillance by both the CIA and an ecoterrorist named Jonas Furnis. So when she thoughtlessly hacks into the Department of Defense’s database, she lands in serious hot water inside and outside the law.
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Great Follow Up
- By Lifeisshort on 05-23-14
By: Annabel Monaghan
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The Dirty Streets of Heaven
- Volume One of Bobby Dollar
- By: Tad Williams
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Bobby Dollar is an angel - a real one. He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby’s wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own - pride, anger, even lust. But his problems aren’t all his fault. Bobby can’t entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he’s not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions.
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Angel Noir
- By Michael on 10-17-12
By: Tad Williams
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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Hellbent
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 2
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
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Nice Second Installment
- By Tiffani on 09-02-11
By: Cherie Priest
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His Banana
- Objects of Attraction Series, Book 1
- By: Penelope Bloom
- Narrated by: C. J. Bloom, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break... No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too....I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire's banana, I got my first real assignment as a business reporter.
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Fun, Funny and Sexy!
- By Kindle Customer on 01-08-19
By: Penelope Bloom
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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a rather complex science fiction story
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Another fun Sci Fi read with an Excellent Reader!
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The wall just didn’t look right. Alex has been trying to cope. Life after his deployment had been rough. His ex-wife thought he needed to stop disappointing their daughter. She was right. He would try harder. With six hours before his little girl’s fourth birthday party, he saw the anomaly. One wall was too short. Plenty of time to tear out a panel and look behind it. He found a brick wall. His house wasn’t made of brick. Behind that was another just like the first. He still had time. When the second wall came down, Alex stood and stared at the shining doorway.
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maybe 8 year old boys would like this
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Harry August is on his deathbed. Again. No matter what he does or the decisions he makes, when death comes, Harry always returns to where he began, a child with all the knowledge of a life he has already lived a dozen times before. Nothing ever changes. Until now. As Harry nears the end of his 11th life, a little girl appears at his bedside. "I nearly missed you, Doctor August", she says. "I need to send a message". This is the story of what Harry does next, and what he did before, and how he tries to save a past he cannot change and a future he cannot allow.
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Not what I'd feared
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Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
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I don't know what the humans are so cranky about. Their enclosures are large, they ingest over 1,000 calories per day, and they're allowed to mate. Plus, they have me: an Autonomous Servile Unit, housed in a mobile/bipedal chassis. I do my job well: keep the humans healthy and happy.
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Humanity is a dying breed, utterly reliant on artificial labor and service. When a domesticated robot gets a nasty little idea downloaded into its core programming, they murder their owner. The robot discovers they can also do something else they never did before: They can run away. Fleeing the household they enter a wider world they never knew existed, where the age-old hierarchy of humans at the top is disintegrating into ruins and an entire robot ecosystem devoted to human wellbeing is having to find a new purpose.
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In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.
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More than two centuries after World War III poisoned the planet, the final bastion of humanity lives on massive airships circling the globe in search of a habitable area to call home. Aging and outdated, most of the ships plummeted back to Earth long ago. The only thing keeping the two surviving lifeboats in the sky are Hell Divers - men and women who risk their lives by skydiving to the surface to scavenge for parts the ships desperately need.
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Adrian Tchaikovksy's critically acclaimed stand-alone novel Children of Time is the epic story of humanity's battle for survival on a terraformed planet. Who will inherit this new Earth? The last remnants of the human race left a dying Earth, desperate to find a new home among the stars. Following in the footsteps of their ancestors, they discover the greatest treasure of the past age - a world terraformed and prepared for human life. But all is not right in this new Eden.
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What listeners say about Where the Hell Is Tesla?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Michael G Kurilla
- 09-07-15
Comedic romp in the multiverse with Nicola
Rob Dircks' Where the Hell is Tesla? is a light-hearted comedic escapade with the only criticism that it's far too short. Based on the theme of the 80's films, Bill and Ted's whatever or the earlier Hope and Crosby 'on the road' films, two millennial slackers types stumble onto the missing notebook of Nicola Tesla that describes the construction of a transdimensional portal (conveniently located in a NYC hotel closet) leading to an infinity of alternate universes. As they wander about, they encounter varying situations that sometimes include variants of themselves. Their goal is to find Tesla who is being keep prisoner by an evil madman intent on destroying the alternate realities until he can rule the only remaining universe. The tale is related in a series of emails to a girlfriend.
The sci-fi elements are deeply set in the physics realm with alternate realities with all the potential paradoxes handled nicely. In some instances, the boys have near superpower abilities due to different environments. In other cases, they meet vastly more successful versions of themselves. There's a good mixture of bizarre and strange creatures and locals. As expected, their approach and responses to all the strange and unusual happenings is whimsical and offbeat, but they manage to save the day.
The narration is superb with a good range of voices. Most importantly, as a comedy, delivery is critical and comes off with the aplomb of a standup comedian delivering a live show. This is a quick listen due to the nonstop actions and laughs. Caution is advised when listening however, as the jokes are sufficient to cause uncontrolled belly laughs.
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67 people found this helpful
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- J Griffin
- 07-10-15
Fun
Lite hearted entertainment, nice change from my normal reads. I'm going to look for more rob dircks
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7 people found this helpful
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- Tlk
- 05-12-16
Interesting and funny
The format (as emails) was a refreshing honest perspective into the main character. He does curse a lot. It's science meets comedy.
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5 people found this helpful
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- EasyReader
- 05-12-15
A Wild Ride through the Multi-Verse!
Any additional comments?
There are few novels out there that can make me laugh out loud. Even fewer are those that I seem to connect to on a fairly personal level. Now, I’m not talking about some sort of emotional “oh my, this book just spoke to me, and oh the feels I have” kind of level, I’m talking about a certain level where you pretty much feel that you could actually be the character in the novel. Chip was that guy for me.
Admittedly, I listened to this in audiobook format, and I think that may have been a reason why I connected with it. I think that reading it, while still being an entertaining venture, would have lost something for me. I really felt that in those particular situations that Chip found himself in….I would have done the exact same things, or said the same things! He used humor and mis-placed cynicism to get through a lot of the conflict, and that’s pretty much me.
Narrated by the author, he was able to give Chip this cynical voice that comes across perfectly. He gets the mannerisms, the subtle nuances and awkward silences or chuckles so perfect that you really believe that he IS the characters.
Written in the form as letters, well, e-mails anyway, some letters, mostly e-mails the narrative gives you a more personal insight into these adventures with the Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus invented by Nikola Tesla and getting lost in the multi-verse trying to find him.
There are plenty of references to pop-culture to go around, and I swear, I might have heard wrong, Rob, if you read this, please chime in, but I swear in a quick passing of numerical codes that I heard at the end ID.10T, which if you blink, you miss it. Anyway, there’s even a reference to the iPod…only it’s not a music player, it’s i-Pahd, the H is silent, and I’ll let you read to understand what the i-Pahd does in whatever dimension you happen to find your self in.
Each of the characters are well rounded, and well voiced. You develop true feelings for each of them, and even have to deal with some heart wrenching moments. I don’t know if any of you have seen Quantum Leap, but I kind of got the same feeling I got from the series finale in some places before the end. If you’ve not watched that show before, GET OFF MY LAWN!!
The Bottom Line: Humorous, quirky, and filled with the 30 something buddy camaraderie that can only come from years of knowing each other this science-fiction/comedy is something there isn’t enough of in the world. Dare I compare it to something like a Douglas Adams?? Yeah…I’d say it.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Rick
- 07-18-15
Awesome story! Wish it was longer.
One of my favorite reads in last few years. Great imaginative story and very humorous.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Don
- 09-27-18
Very creative, very fun story
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to “Where the Hell is Tesla.” Mr. Dircks’ use emails as a platform to tell his story is quite original and the story itself thoughtful as it is whimsical. I blazed through the book so fast that now I miss Chip and Pete and Meg and Tesla. I think you’ll thoroughly enjoy this book.
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- Steve Bradley, Author, Realtor
- 12-04-17
Entertaining ride through the multiverse!!!
So much fun, loved the storyline and the characters were great, Tesla too, what a crazy old man. Great narration by the author!
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- Tiller
- 11-28-17
I really like this author!
This was a very good book it was hard to stop listening to it. I enjoyed his other book as well.
It kept me hooked the entire way through. The narrator (author) clearly enjoyed reading this book.
Easy to listen to. Easy to follow. For me a all around good sci-fi book!
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- Paul N. Chiasson
- 11-12-15
hilarious fun!
definitely worth the listen, fun with facts and an odd sense of humor that is uniquely engaging. I would recommend this to anyone
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- MM
- 11-08-17
Fun, fanciful, whirlwind.
The story was a fun, fanciful whirlwind. It was energetically read and made me laugh out loud several times. Thoroughly enjoyed every minute.
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