The AfterGrief
Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss
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Narrated by:
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Xe Sands
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By:
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Hope Edelman
About this listen
A validating new approach to the long-term grieving process that explains why we feel “stuck”, why that’s normal, and how shifting our perception of grief can help us grow - from the New York Times best-selling author of Motherless Daughters.
“This is perhaps one of the most important books about grief ever written. It finally dispels the myth that we are all supposed to get over the death of a loved one.” (Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief)
Aren’t you over it yet? Anyone who has experienced a major loss in their past knows this question. We’ve spent years fielding versions of it, both explicit and implied, from family, colleagues, acquaintances, and friends. We recognize the subtle cues - the slight eyebrow lift, the soft, startled “Oh! That long ago?” - from those who wonder how an event so far in the past can still occupy so much precious mental and emotional real estate.
Because of the common but false assumption that grief should be time-limited, too many of us believe we’re grieving “wrong” when sadness suddenly resurges sometimes months or even years after a loss. The AfterGrief explains that the death of a loved one isn’t something most of us get over, get past, put down, or move beyond. Grief is not an emotion to pass through on the way to “feeling better”. Instead, grief is in constant motion; it is tidal, easily and often reactivated by memories and sensory events and is re-triggered as we experience life transitions, anniversaries, and other losses. Whether we want it to or not, grief gets folded into our developing identities, where it informs our thoughts, hopes, expectations, behaviors, and fears, and we inevitably carry it forward into everything that follows.
Drawing on her own encounters with the ripple effects of early loss, as well as on interviews with dozens of researchers, therapists, and regular people who’ve been bereaved, New York Times best-selling author Hope Edelman offers profound advice for reassessing loss and adjusting the stories we tell ourselves about its impact on our identities. With guidance for reframing a story of loss, finding equilibrium within it, and even experiencing renewed growth and purpose in its wake, she demonstrates that though grief is a lifelong process, it doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle.
This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF with diagrams from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Hope Edelman (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Hope Edelman is one of the foremothers of the grief revolution. Her work opened the door for honest discussions of grief long before it was considered OK to talk about your inner life. In a world that thinks you should be over your loss already, The Aftergrief normalizes grief - and love - that lasts a lifetime.” (Megan Devine, author of It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand)
Lucid ... noteworthy ... a timelessly relevant chronicle on enduring grief.” (Kirkus Reviews)
“[Hope Edelman] urges readers to understand that there are no timetables for loss and no firm rules. Death is part of everyone’s life. Community helps us cope, and Edelman’s knowledgeable and thoughtful book offers a gentle, compassionate guide to grieving.” (Booklist)
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
- By stephen blackwell on 07-19-24
By: Sherrie Eldridge
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Good Mourning
- By: Theresa Caputo
- Narrated by: Theresa Caputo
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Theresa Caputo, TLC’s Long Island Medium and the three-time New York Times best-selling author, teaches us how to ritualize and recover from the daily losses in our lives.
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Another great book by Theresa Caputo
- By K.S on 10-06-20
By: Theresa Caputo
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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A Grace Disguised Revised and Expanded
- How the Soul Grows Through Loss
- By: Jerry L. Sittser
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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With vulnerability and honesty, Jerry Sittser walks through his own grief and loss to show that new life is possible - one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple and ordinary gifts. This 25th anniversary edition features a new introduction and two additional chapters, one which provides help for pastors and counselors.
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Speaks to My Heart
- By Reader on 04-23-22
By: Jerry L. Sittser
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Getting Past Your Past
- Take Control of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
- By: Francine Shapiro
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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Childhood Disrupted
- How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal
- By: Donna Jackson Nakazawa
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults but also affects our physical health and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a biochemical level exactly how parents' chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical "fingerprints" on our brains.
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some disturbing content, overall very imformative
- By Tryintolivenatural on 11-12-15
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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The Gift of Adversity
- The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal M.D.
- Narrated by: Erik Synnestvedt
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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Beyond Tears
- Living After Losing a Child, Revised Edition
- By: Carol Barkin, Barbara J. Goldstein, Audrey Cohen, and others
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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The death of a child is that unimaginable loss no parent ever expects to face. In Beyond Tears, nine mothers share their individual stories of how to survive in the darkest hour. They candidly share with other bereaved parents what to expect in the first year and long beyond.
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Comforting and familiar
- By Jeanne on 01-12-17
By: Carol Barkin, and others
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The Four Things That Matter Most 10th Anniversary Edition
- A Book About Living
- By: Ira Byock MD
- Narrated by: Barry Abrams
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Four simple phrases - "Please forgive me", "I forgive you", "Thank you", and "I love you" - carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional well-being, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace. Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives.
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A must read
- By Light Seeker on 03-14-21
By: Ira Byock MD
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
What listeners say about The AfterGrief
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-27-24
Amazing book
I can't say enough good things about this book. I've already recommended it to several people!
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- Kini
- 10-19-23
Accessible and beneficial in making sense of how we process and live with grief.
This was the fourth book I read following the unexpected death of my middle son. At first I thought since it was directed more towards those children and young adults who survived death of a loved one at an early age it might not be as helpful for me but, it was. This is especially to more deeply understand my husbands experience as his oldest brother died when he was a teen.
Reviewing the history of bereavement in different cultures was a wonderful starting point to understand how come we as a society deal with death the way we do.
The models of grief and other tools to make sense of the thoughts and emotions the bereaved experience is helpful as was all the practical perspectives and practices.
Thank you Ms. Edelman for giving us more hope. ♥️
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- Matt T. Brandley
- 11-18-23
Learning to Love the thing we wished the most had not happened
I would recommend this book to anyone that has experienced grief and wants to find a path forward in their lied
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- Sharron E. Dillon
- 05-11-21
Insightful & Helpful
Over the years Hope Edelman has given a voice to those of us who’ve had none. Having lost my dad when I was 10 & my mom when I was 14, there was quite literally, no place to turn. Hope explains the commonalities that so many of us share. She goes on to offer practical steps we can take to heal some of the hurt. I truly wish her books had been available long before their time. As always, thank you Hope!
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2 people found this helpful