The Biggest Ever Book of Yo Momma Jokes You Must Know Before You Die!
Double Book Boxset
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Narrated by:
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Wes Super
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By:
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David Fuentes
About this listen
About the series: The You Must Know Before You Die! series is a fascinating and immersive educational collection of publications that delve deep into numerous and far-reaching subjects across the educational spectrum, ranging from Greek mythology and evolution to history and the constructs of our universe.
You have much to learn before the Grim Reaper comes-a-calling, so listen on to fill your mind with mountains upon mountains of insightful knowledge, all written in a lighthearted and fun-to-listen-to fashion. Knowledge you can use for a brighter tomorrow!
About the book: We all love a good giggle. If you don’t, then this book really isn’t for you! It’s crammed to the rafters with a whole host of sidesplitting one liners that’ll have you rolling on the floor in fits of hysterics. Your friends will think you’ve gone right off your rocker!
Feel free to listen to this book at your leisure for your daily dose of hilarity; it's a treasure trove of comedy gold. So, listen on, comrade, and let’s have a jolly good laugh together!
This book includes jokes like:
- Yo momma so fat, when she got on the scale, it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
- Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
- Yo momma is so fat, when she went to the beach, a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
- Yo momma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
- Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
- Yo momma's so fat that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
- Yo momma is so fat when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
- Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 911 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "call" button.
- Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
- Yo momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
- Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
- Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
You'll also find riddles such as these:
Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator!
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Q: Why are frogs always so happy?
A: They eat what ever bugs them.
Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because, they are shellfish.
Q: Why did the duck go to jail?
A: Because, he got caught selling quack.
Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?
A: Because, its horns don't work.
Q: What do you call a blender full of laboratory monkeys?
A: Rhesus pieces.
Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because, it saw the ocean's bottom.
Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!
And many many more!
©2020 David Fuentes (P)2020 David FuentesListeners also enjoyed...
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Before Josh and Jordan Bell were streaking up and down the court, their father was learning his own moves. In this prequel to Newbery Medal winner The Crossover, Chuck Bell takes center stage, as listeners get a glimpse of his childhood and how he became the jazz music worshiping basketball star his sons look up to. A novel in verse with all the impact and rhythm listeners have come to expect from Kwame Alexander, Rebound will go back in time to visit the childhood of Chuck "Da Man" Bell during one pivotal summer when young Charlie is sent to stay with his grandparents, where he discovers basketball and learns more about his family's past.
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Book
- By Cookie crumbs on 07-09-19
By: Kwame Alexander
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Full Cicada Moon
- By: Marilyn Hilton
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 1969, and the Apollo 11 mission is getting ready to go to the moon. But for half-black, half-Japanese Mimi, moving to a predominantly white Vermont town is enough to make her feel alien. Suddenly, Mimi's appearance is all anyone notices. She struggles to fit in with her classmates, even as she fights for her right to stand out. This historical middle-grade novel is told in poems from Mimi's perspective over the course of one year in her new town, and shows listeners that positive change can start with just one person speaking up.
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My 10 year grandgirl & I
- By Dava Brooke Zschau on 06-06-22
By: Marilyn Hilton
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New American Best Friend
- By: Olivia Gatwood
- Narrated by: Olivia Gatwood
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the most recognizable young poets in America, Olivia Gatwood dazzles with her tribute to contemporary American womanhood in her debut book, New American Best Friend. Gatwood's poems deftly deconstruct traditional stereotypes. The focus shifts from childhood to adulthood, gender to sexuality, violence to joy. And always and inexorably, the book moves toward celebration, culminating in a series of odes: odes to the body, to tough women, to embracing your own journey in all its failures and triumphs.
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Amazing poetry, but the music
- By Keaira on 07-29-19
By: Olivia Gatwood
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Just Add Magic
- Just Add Magic Series, Book 1
- By: Cindy Callaghan
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kelly Quinn and her two BFFs discover a dusty old cookbook while cleaning out the attic, the girls decide to try a few of the mysterious and supposedly magical recipes that are inside. To their surprise, the Keep 'Em Quiet Cobbler actually silences Kelly's pesky little brother and the Hexberry Tart puts a curse on mean girl Charlotte. Is it possible that the recipes really are magic? Who wrote them and where did they come from? And most importantly of all, when boys get involved, what kind of trouble are the girls stirring up for themselves?
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A fun story with a pinch of magic
- By Jennifer C. on 09-22-22
By: Cindy Callaghan
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Like Family
- Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir
- By: Paula McLain
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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This powerful and haunting memoir details the years Paula McLain and her two sisters spent as foster children after being abandoned by both parents in California in the early 1970s. As wards of the State, the sisters spent the next 14 years moving from foster home to foster home. The dislocations, confusions, and odd pleasures of an unrooted life form the basis of one of the most compelling memoirs in recent years - a book in the tradition of Jo Ann Beard's The Boys of My Youth and Mary Karr's The Liars' Club.
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A famous writer describes her life growing up in foster care
- By Nancy C. on 12-21-18
By: Paula McLain
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32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny
- By: Phillip Done
- Narrated by: Phillip Done
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny is for anyone who has ever taught children -- or been to third grade. It is a testament to the kids who uplift us -- and the teachers we will never forget. With just the right mix of humor and wisdom, Done reveals the enduring promise of elementary school as a powerful antidote to the cynicism of our times.
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Took me back to elementary school!
- By Brian J. P. on 08-18-23
By: Phillip Done
What listeners say about The Biggest Ever Book of Yo Momma Jokes You Must Know Before You Die!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kerchenski
- 12-13-20
Fun
This is a funny few hours to listen to while in the car with all ages of the family. I recommend both the audio and the book itself. Narration was good.
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- AshertopiA
- 11-23-20
Funny at Times
I played this for teen boys and elementary aged boys on several occasions. like most of these jokes, even outside this book, the jokes were hit or miss. we grew tired after just a few minutes.
Also, the sound effects and Looney Toon voices were grating.
If you want a book that will entertain for short drives this may work.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
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