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The New One
- Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad
- Narrated by: Mike Birbiglia, J. Hope Stein
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
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Publisher's summary
With laugh-out-loud funny parenting observations, the New York Times best-selling author and award-winning comedian delivers a book that is perfect for anyone who has ever raised a child, been a child, or refuses to stop acting like one.
In 2016, comedian Mike Birbiglia and poet Jennifer Hope Stein took their 14-month-old daughter, Oona, to the Nantucket Film Festival. When the festival director picked them up at the airport, she asked Mike if he would perform at the storytelling night. She said, "The theme of the stories is jealousy."
Jen quipped, "You're jealous of Oona. You should talk about that."
And so Mike began sharing some of his darkest and funniest thoughts about the decision to have a child. Jen and Mike revealed to each other their sides of what had gone down during Jen's pregnancy and that first year with their child. Over the next couple years, these stories evolved into a Broadway show, and the more Mike performed it, the more he heard how it resonated - not just with parents but also people who resist all kinds of change.
So he pored over his journals, dug deeper, and created this book: The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad. Along with hilarious and poignant stories he has never shared before, this audiobook is sprinkled with poetry Jen wrote as she navigated the same rocky shores of new parenthood.
So here it is. This book is an experiment - sort of like a family.
Interview: Mike Birbiglia Tells the Deeper Story in 'The New One'
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Critic reviews
"Fusing good humor and raw honesty with selections from Stein's evocative poetry, Birbiglia narrates his journey into parenting...Hilarious, relatable, cringeworthy, and effortlessly entertaining." (Kirkus, starred review)
"This is a brilliant, funny, big-hearted version of he-said, she-said. Birbiglia and Stein trade jokes and poems and splendid storytelling about their roundabout stumble into parenthood. It's hilarious, humane, often beautiful, and absolutely captivating." (Susan Orlean, staff writer at The New Yorker and New York Times best-selling author of The Library Book)
"Mike Birbiglia and Jen Stein are the best collaborators since Emily Dickinson teamed up with her long-winded comedian friend. I'm joking because I cannot express how much this book affected me and how many times it made me cry." (John Mulaney, comedian)
"Wise and wise-assed, the comic hit of the year." (Mary Karr, best-selling author of The Liar's Club, Cherry, and Lit)
"Birbiglia and Stein have not only survived parenthood, they're making their most hilarious and truthful art yet. This book might save your best friend's life." (Lin-Manuel Miranda, Pulitzer Price-winning writer of Hamilton)
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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The Natural Mother of the Child
- A Memoir of Nonbinary Parenthood
- By: Krys Malcolm Belc
- Narrated by: Krys Malcolm Belc
- Length: 4 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Krys Malcolm Belc has thought a lot about the interplay between parenthood and gender. As a nonbinary, transmasculine parent, giving birth to his son Samson clarified his gender identity. And yet, when his partner Anna adopted Samson, the legal documents listed Belc as "the natural mother of the child." The Natural Mother of the Child journeys both toward and through common perceptions of what it means to have a body and how that body can influence the perception of a family.
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Excellent
- By Kathryn Bradley on 03-04-23
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
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I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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Silence is a Scary Sound
- And Other Stories on Living Through the Terrible Twos and Threes
- By: Clint Edwards
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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After his breakout hit book, I'm Sorry...Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales, this time from the "terrible twos" and "threenager" phases each of his kids went through. His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect parent. In fact, sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day is thinking about when his kids grow up...and all the ways he can finally exact his revenge.
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Dads love it too
- By Yume Leona on 11-12-19
By: Clint Edwards
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
What listeners say about The New One
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ryan Roe
- 05-14-20
Funny, heartwarming, and most importantly funny
Mike is a master storyteller that turns vulnerable moments into hilarious anticdotes. It’s emotional, heart warming and beautiful. But all of that would be null and void if it wasn’t funny, but it just so happens to be very funny. It’s rare for a comedian to write a book that doesn’t give you the sense they’re either just bragging or someone else wrote it for them. But Mike’s humor is unique and relatable to every reader.
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14 people found this helpful
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- Bradley E. Fondak
- 06-28-20
All the thread counts! Baby changes everything!
I’m a mom. And I knew my kid would change everything and so did my husband, even though he did not feel my overwhelming need to be a parent. Mike and Jen (does the nickname Clo get explained in other shows or books?) try to lie to themselves that their baby will not change everything. But in a twist that will surprise hardly anyone, Una does change everything. And it’s hard and it’s painful, insane, lonely, smelly and bizarre. But with a lot of work, some of their newfound lives are downright wonderful and awesome in that dumbstruck, awe-inspiring meaning of the word. Sleepless babies, poopy diapers, zombie parent half-life, these are very real things that very much suck. But a baby’s laughter is nuclear fusion level magic. It could birth fairies or melt the hearts of the cynical, overworked, lonely and lost. Parenthood is not for everyone. But this book is thirst-quenchingly beautiful. It’s soul food for any parent but especially the ones who might be burnt out, a bit delusional, pondering the fraying ties of their marriage or partnership and reworking their personal image with the impossibly huge role of parent, and trying to take tiny bites as life rolls over and through them. The poetry of this book ripples through my brain all the sweeter for the dulcet tones of Clo. Mike’s storytelling prowess is as powerfully delicious as pizza. Sometimes the toppings are bitter truths, and sometimes my heart gets overstuffed with all the feelings slices. While I do think even low-quality pizza can be enjoyable, and many a book about the life of new parents can entertain and spark thought, this entry in the genre is first rate, scrumptious stuff. Some parts simple and straightforward, some parts delicate and winsome. Gourmet etiquette notwithstanding, I want to stuff my mind and my heart with this book repeatedly and make book angels in the words, just as a child (or Mike Birbiglia) might dream of making pizza angels plopped on a huge pie, arms swathed in cheese and sauce, head pillowed by dough. Put this book in your brain and your belly.
(Disclaimer: the writer of this review does not recommend physically eating this book or the device playing this audiobook. Such action could result in injury or death. Learn about metaphors!)
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2 people found this helpful
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- Elizabeth Hansen
- 08-20-20
Raw, Entertaining
There are plenty of moments in this book that made me laugh out loud, alone in my car or on a walk. There were also plenty of moments that I found myself laughing and cringing, simultaneously. This a very honest look at the experiences of Mike Birbiglia, and his wife during the first year of their daughter's life. Even while it was very entertaining, I found myself feeling kind of sad about this book when I reflected on it, in between listens and I was relieved to hear the Epilogue at the end. As a mother myself, with a very young child, I felt some of J. Hope Stein's poetry in a visceral way.
My one complaint was that I wish they could have found a way to mix the audio to balance the two narrator's voices. J. Hope Stein's voice is so soft that I had to crank up the volume every time she came on, only to have my eardrums blasted by Birbiglia's much stronger narration.
This is a book I would recommend for parents of children young and old, as well as those thinking about the prospect of parenting, who might be on the fence.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Emily Schneider
- 06-07-20
touching raw and funny
The imagination of Jen just shines throughout this book and deepens the story. If your a fan of Mike Birbiglia this will not disappoint but may drive you to more tears than his Netflix specials.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julie Gilman
- 06-14-20
Really nice!
A very sweet and truthful telling of parenthood. I only wish the sound production could have evened out the difference in volume between Mike and Jenn's voices.
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1 person found this helpful
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- M J Russell
- 01-27-21
Lotsa Laughs
I really enjoyed this book. The honesty and humor came through loud and clear. It would be hard to put yourselves out there like this.
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- Brenda C. Smith
- 01-10-22
Funniest Book I've Heard So Far!
Though there were some moments where I was sure that this book was going to turn dramatic, the author always managed to bring it back around to find the humor. So many laugh-out-loud moments that were relatable! I will give another of Mike Birbiglia's books a listen. Wish I could afford to go to a live show!
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- Iwish I. Readmore
- 07-26-20
As someone undecided on whether to have children
This book was a brilliant, honest, raw look at the before/after having kids. Impeccable reading.
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- Carolyn Conway
- 08-26-20
What a phenomenal book.
It reads easily, holding my attention with humor and painful honesty. It makes me want to write poetry, or have a baby.
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- Alesia Midgette, Vanceboro, NC
- 07-21-20
Not My Favorite
This was ok not a bad read however, not my favorite. A great deal of profanity usually doesn't bother me but at times it was a little much. Simply put... Wouldn't read again.
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