
The Racism of People Who Love You
Essays on Mixed Race Belonging
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $18.72
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Fareeda Pasha
-
By:
-
Samira Mehta
About this listen
An unflinching look at the challenges and misunderstandings mixed-race people face in family spaces and intimate relationships across their varying cultural backgrounds
In this emotionally powerful and intellectually provocative blend of memoir, cultural criticism, and theory, scholar and essayist Samira Mehta reflects on many facets of being multiracial.
Born to a white American and a South Asian immigrant, Mehta grew up feeling more comfortable with her mother’s family than her father’s—they never carried on conversations in languages she couldn’t understand or blamed her for finding the food was too spicy. In adulthood, she realized that some of her Indian family’s assumptions about the world had become an indelible part of her—and that her well-intentioned parents had not known how to prepare her for a world that would see her as a person of color.
Popular belief assumes that mixedness gives you the ability to feel at home in more than one culture, but the flipside shows you can feel just as alienated in those spaces. In 7 essays that dissect her own experiences with a frankness tempered by generosity, Mehta confronts questions about:
- authenticity and belonging;
- conscious and unconscious cultural inheritance;
- appropriate mentorship;
- the racism of people who love you.
The Racism of People Who Love You invites people of mixed race into the conversation on race in America and the melding of found and inherited cultures of hybrid identity.
©2023 Samira Mehta (P)2023 Beacon PressListeners also enjoyed...
-
Doppelganger
- A Trip into the Mirror World
- By: Naomi Klein
- Narrated by: Naomi Klein
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What if you woke up one morning and found you’d acquired another self—a double who was almost you and yet not you at all? What if that double shared many of your preoccupations but, in a twisted, upside-down way, furthered the very causes you’d devoted your life to fighting against? Not long ago, the celebrated activist and public intellectual Naomi Klein had just such an experience—she was confronted with a doppelganger whose views she found abhorrent but whose name and public persona were sufficiently similar to her own that many people got confused about who was who.
-
-
Elite Psychobabble
- By A Reviewer on 09-30-23
By: Naomi Klein
-
Rest Is Resistance
- A Manifesto
- By: Tricia Hersey
- Narrated by: Tricia Hersey
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What would it be like to live in a well-rested world? Far too many of us have claimed productivity as the cornerstone of success. Brainwashed by capitalism, we subject our bodies and minds to work at an unrealistic, damaging, and machine‑level pace—feeding into the same engine that enslaved millions into brutal labor for its own relentless benefit. In Rest Is Resistance, Tricia Hersey, aka the Nap Bishop, casts an illuminating light on our troubled relationship with rest and how to imagine and dream our way to a future where rest is exalted.
-
-
What an experience
- By makeba jones on 10-26-22
By: Tricia Hersey
-
White Fragility
- Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
- By: Dr. Robin DiAngelo, Michael Eric Dyson - foreword
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this “vital, necessary, and beautiful book” (Michael Eric Dyson), antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and “allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to 'bad people'" (Claudia Rankine). Referring to the defensive moves white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent meaningful cross-racial dialogue.
-
-
Word salad
- By Eric on 03-10-20
By: Dr. Robin DiAngelo, and others
-
Burn It Down
- Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood
- By: Maureen Ryan
- Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
- Length: 13 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Burn It Down, veteran reporter Maureen Ryan does just that. She draws on decades of experience to connect the dots and illuminate the deeper forces sustaining Hollywood’s corrosive culture. Fresh reporting sheds light on problematic situations at companies like Lucasfilm and shows like Lost, Saturday Night Live, The Goldbergs, Sleepy Hollow, Curb Your Enthusiasm and more.
-
-
Good, Necessary, + Worthwhile
- By Ryede on 06-06-23
By: Maureen Ryan
-
What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
-
-
Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
-
Mixed/Other
- Explorations of Multiraciality in Modern Britain
- By: Natalie Morris
- Narrated by: Natalie Morris
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mixed population is the fastest-growing group in the UK today, but the mainstream conversation around mixedness is stilted, repetitive and often problematic. At a time when ethnically ambiguous models fill our Instagram feeds and our high street shop windows, and when children of interracial relationships are lauded as heralding in the dawn of a post-racial utopia, journalist Natalie Morris takes a deep dive into what it really means to be mixed in Britain today.
-
-
listen to this if you are mixed
- By ilario on 09-19-24
By: Natalie Morris
-
Doppelganger
- A Trip into the Mirror World
- By: Naomi Klein
- Narrated by: Naomi Klein
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What if you woke up one morning and found you’d acquired another self—a double who was almost you and yet not you at all? What if that double shared many of your preoccupations but, in a twisted, upside-down way, furthered the very causes you’d devoted your life to fighting against? Not long ago, the celebrated activist and public intellectual Naomi Klein had just such an experience—she was confronted with a doppelganger whose views she found abhorrent but whose name and public persona were sufficiently similar to her own that many people got confused about who was who.
-
-
Elite Psychobabble
- By A Reviewer on 09-30-23
By: Naomi Klein
-
Rest Is Resistance
- A Manifesto
- By: Tricia Hersey
- Narrated by: Tricia Hersey
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What would it be like to live in a well-rested world? Far too many of us have claimed productivity as the cornerstone of success. Brainwashed by capitalism, we subject our bodies and minds to work at an unrealistic, damaging, and machine‑level pace—feeding into the same engine that enslaved millions into brutal labor for its own relentless benefit. In Rest Is Resistance, Tricia Hersey, aka the Nap Bishop, casts an illuminating light on our troubled relationship with rest and how to imagine and dream our way to a future where rest is exalted.
-
-
What an experience
- By makeba jones on 10-26-22
By: Tricia Hersey
-
White Fragility
- Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
- By: Dr. Robin DiAngelo, Michael Eric Dyson - foreword
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this “vital, necessary, and beautiful book” (Michael Eric Dyson), antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and “allows us to understand racism as a practice not restricted to 'bad people'" (Claudia Rankine). Referring to the defensive moves white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent meaningful cross-racial dialogue.
-
-
Word salad
- By Eric on 03-10-20
By: Dr. Robin DiAngelo, and others
-
Burn It Down
- Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood
- By: Maureen Ryan
- Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
- Length: 13 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Burn It Down, veteran reporter Maureen Ryan does just that. She draws on decades of experience to connect the dots and illuminate the deeper forces sustaining Hollywood’s corrosive culture. Fresh reporting sheds light on problematic situations at companies like Lucasfilm and shows like Lost, Saturday Night Live, The Goldbergs, Sleepy Hollow, Curb Your Enthusiasm and more.
-
-
Good, Necessary, + Worthwhile
- By Ryede on 06-06-23
By: Maureen Ryan
-
What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
-
-
Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
-
Mixed/Other
- Explorations of Multiraciality in Modern Britain
- By: Natalie Morris
- Narrated by: Natalie Morris
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mixed population is the fastest-growing group in the UK today, but the mainstream conversation around mixedness is stilted, repetitive and often problematic. At a time when ethnically ambiguous models fill our Instagram feeds and our high street shop windows, and when children of interracial relationships are lauded as heralding in the dawn of a post-racial utopia, journalist Natalie Morris takes a deep dive into what it really means to be mixed in Britain today.
-
-
listen to this if you are mixed
- By ilario on 09-19-24
By: Natalie Morris
-
Year of the Tiger
- An Activist's Life
- By: Alice Wong
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This groundbreaking memoir offers a glimpse into an activist's journey to finding and cultivating community and the continued fight for disability justice, from the founder and director of the Disability Visibility Project.
-
-
Alice Wong is rad
- By H on 09-16-22
By: Alice Wong
-
Wake
- The Hidden History of Women-Led Slave Revolts
- By: Rebecca Hall, Tyler English-Beckwith - adapter
- Narrated by: DeWanda Wise, Chanté Adams, Jerrie Johnson, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 41 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Women warriors planned and led slave revolts on slave ships during the Middle Passage. They fought their enslavers throughout the Americas, and then they were erased from history. Wake tells the story of Dr. Rebecca Hall, a historian, granddaughter of slaves, and a woman haunted by the legacy of slavery. The accepted history of slave revolts has always said that enslaved women were not involved, but Rebecca decides to look deeper.
-
-
Not what I expected
- By Earlene Doll on 01-05-23
By: Rebecca Hall, and others
-
The Body Is Not an Apology, Second Edition
- The Power of Radical Self-Love
- By: Sonya Renee Taylor
- Narrated by: Sonya Renee Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Humans are a varied and divergent bunch with all manner of beliefs, morals, and bodies. Systems of oppression thrive off our inability to make peace with difference and injure the relationship we have with our own bodies. The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength.
-
-
YES YES YES
- By Sarah vdw on 02-16-21
-
Soil
- The Story of a Black Mother's Garden
- By: Camille T. Dungy
- Narrated by: Camille T. Dungy
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden poet and scholar Camille T. Dungy recounts the seven-year odyssey to diversify her garden in the predominantly white community of Fort Collins, Colorado. When she moved there in 2013, with her husband and daughter, the community held strict restrictions about what residents could and could not plant in their gardens.
-
-
Like medicine...
- By Broderek on 06-17-23
By: Camille T. Dungy
-
World Travel
- An Irreverent Guide
- By: Anthony Bourdain, Laurie Woolever
- Narrated by: Laurie Woolever, Shep Gordon, Christopher Bourdain, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anthony Bourdain saw more of the world than nearly anyone. His travels took him from the hidden pockets of his hometown of New York to a tribal longhouse in Borneo, from cosmopolitan Buenos Aires, Paris, and Shanghai to Tanzania’s utter beauty and the stunning desert solitude of Oman’s Empty Quarter - and many places beyond. In World Travel, a life of experience is collected into an entertaining, practical, fun and frank travel guide that gives listeners an introduction to some of his favorite places - in his own words.
-
-
Poor man’s version of Lonely Planet guidebooks
- By KC on 04-23-21
By: Anthony Bourdain, and others
-
Platonic
- How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
- By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
-
-
Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
-
How We Show Up
- Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community
- By: Mia Birdsong
- Narrated by: Mia Birdsong
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After almost every presentation activist and writer Mia Birdsong gives to executives, think tanks, and policy makers, one of those leaders quietly confesses how much they long for the profound community she describes. They have family, friends, and colleagues, yet they still feel like they're standing alone. They're "winning" at the American Dream, but they're lonely, disconnected, and unsatisfied.
-
-
I wanted to like this book
- By N. Sebastian on 09-17-21
By: Mia Birdsong
-
Elite Capture
- How the Powerful Took Over Identity Politics (and Everything Else)
- By: Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò
- Narrated by: Jaime Lincoln Smth
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“Identity politics” is everywhere, polarizing discourse from the campaign trail to the classroom. But the “identity politics” so compulsively referenced bears little resemblance to the concept as first introduced by the radical Black feminist Combahee River Collective. While the Collective articulated a political viewpoint grounded in their own position as Black lesbians with the explicit aim of building solidarity across lines of difference, “identity politics” is now frequently weaponized as a means of closing ranks around ever-narrower conceptions of group interests.
-
-
An Essential Read
- By TheFrozenBiscuit on 04-22-23
-
Self-Portrait in Black and White
- Unlearning Race
- By: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Narrated by: Thomas Chatterton Williams
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A reckoning with the way we choose to see and define ourselves, Self-Portrait in Black and White is the searching story of one American family's multigenerational transformation from what is called Black to what is assumed to be White. Thomas Chatterton Williams, the son of a "Black" father from the segregated South and a "White" mother from the West, spent his whole life believing the dictum that a single drop of "Black blood" makes a person Black. This was so fundamental to his self-conception that he'd never rigorously reflected on its foundations....
-
-
Honest self-portrait of identity
- By Wayne on 06-18-20
-
Black Friend
- Essays
- By: Ziwe
- Narrated by: Ziwe
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ziwe made a name for herself by asking guests like Alyssa Milano, Fran Lebowitz, and Chet Hanks direct questions. In Black Friend, she turns her incisive perspective on both herself and the culture at large. Throughout the book, Ziwe combines pop-culture commentary and personal stories that grapple with her own (mis)understanding of identity. From a hilarious case of mistaken identity via a jumbotron to a terrifying fight-or-flight encounter in the woods, Ziwe raises difficult questions for comedic relief.
-
-
Something for everyone
- By Happy on 10-21-23
By: Ziwe
-
For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts
- A Love Letter to Women of Color
- By: Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez
- Narrated by: Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodríguez
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The founder of Latina Rebels and a “Latinx Activist You Should Know” (Teen Vogue) arms women of color with the tools and knowledge they need to find success on their own terms.
-
-
Must Read for BIWOC
- By Veronica Garcia on 09-24-21
-
Stay True
- A Memoir
- By: Hua Hsu
- Narrated by: Hua Hsu
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu, the problem with Ken—with his passion for Dave Matthews, Abercrombie & Fitch, and his fraternity—is that he is exactly like everyone else. Ken, whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations, is mainstream; for Hua, the son of Taiwanese immigrants, who makes ’zines and haunts Bay Area record shops, Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to. The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that, however they engage with it, American culture doesn’t seem to have a place for either of them.
-
-
At the end, this book is about friendships
- By rosalinda lam on 10-31-22
By: Hua Hsu
Critic reviews
“Thoughtful meditations on identity.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Throughout, Mehta pulls off an impressive set of balancing acts, weaving theory through stories, knitting personal memories, public histories, family dynamics, and cultural norms together with brutal honesty and no small amount of tenderness as she attempts to understand hurtful behavior without excusing it.”—Cannonball Read
“Samira Mehta interweaves laugh-out-loud personal vignettes with piercing reflections on life as a biracial person. Drawing also on her multireligious upbringing, she conveys moments of joy and pain in ways that let us all in on the experience. The Racism of People Who Love You is relatable for all kinds of readers, with especially important insights for all of us who have people of mixed racial and religious backgrounds in our families and social circles.”—Khyati Y. Joshi, author of White Christian Privilege
What listeners say about The Racism of People Who Love You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Ruthie Bowles
- 03-17-23
very compelling set of essays
I really enjoyed this book. There were many points where my experience differed from the author's, and that gave me a lot of food for thought as well.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 02-08-23
Thoughtful, clear, and compelling essays that move deftly between anecdote and analysis
The Racism of People Who Love You is a very good book, and you should read it. In seven thoughtful, compelling, and sometimes (frequently) devastating essays, author Samira Mehta examines the broad concept of what she refers to as “mixedness” through the lens of her particular lived experience as the daughter of a South Asian immigrant father and a white American mother. The essays are about her and her family and about race, culture, and belonging both within and beyond her family. They are also about gender, friendship, work, and class, among other things. Mehta touches on a lot in this fairly brief book, but it all comes up organically because Mehta’s identity and experiences are touched by all of it. Throughout, Mehta pulls off an impressive set of balancing acts, weaving theory through stories, knitting personal memories, public histories, family dynamics, and cultural norms together with brutal honesty and no small amount of tenderness as she attempts to understand hurtful behavior without excusing it.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- ndd
- 04-06-23
Thought provoking and intimate
Great narrator, vivid writing, theory and the everyday mixing together. This book is such a wonder!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Andrea Ajello
- 01-17-23
A must read!
This is a fantastic book: enlightening work on racism as lived and perceived by someone who is mixed race and, as such, has often confronted loved ones who cannot fully grasp, see, and acknowledge all aspects of her true essence.
A great format, with academic research seeping through the author’s life story. What an intimate journey of self-awareness and what a gift to all of us who are trying to do our best to see and celebrate diversity.
The narration does an excellent job at keeping the reader’s attention high and emphasizing key passages.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lee A Bambach
- 01-16-23
Powerful and eye-opening
Samira Mehta masterfully blends personal stories and academic scholarship, offering brilliant insights into the challenges of growing up and living as a mixed race person in the US.
As the White mother of mixed race children, the book was an eye-opener and made me think about how, in spite of my best intentions and efforts, I am unable to understand much of my children’s experience. But it also gave me hope that I can be better at it. I especially appreciated the way in which the author was able to give voice to the unique pain that the children of mixed families feel when they encounter racism from some of the people who love them most in the world, something I have seen in my own family, like when an older White family member challenges my Brown daughter, “why do you say that you are Brown? Is it because you want to get some kind of special benefit?”
Required reading (or listening) for anyone with any kind of a mixed family (the book speaks specifically about race but I think many of its insights would also be very pertinent to other types of mixed families, such as religious or ethnic) and strongly recommended for anyone who wants to learn more about the nuances of racism in the United States, especially as it applies to the rapidly growing number of mixed race people in this country.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Juju Bee
- 09-27-23
Did not love.
I was struck by the fact that the author sounds angry and bitter at…well…everyone. White people don’t understand, Asian people don’t understand, relatives don’t understand, etc. Her experience, fortunately, is not the only one. Many come as immigrants, as my husband did, and treasure their American experience, enjoying the diversity and difference they bring to the world. I’m just sorry that Samira’s experience has been so very hard. But there are a lot of emotions at play here. Expectations have been the death and disappointment of dreams for this author. That is the overriding feel from the book for me.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!