How We Show Up
Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community
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Narrated by:
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Mia Birdsong
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By:
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Mia Birdsong
About this listen
An invitation to community and models for connection
After almost every presentation activist and writer Mia Birdsong gives to executives, think tanks, and policy makers, one of those leaders quietly confesses how much they long for the profound community she describes. They have family, friends, and colleagues, yet they still feel like they're standing alone. They're "winning" at the American Dream, but they're lonely, disconnected, and unsatisfied.
It seems counterintuitive that living the "good life" - the well-paying job, the nuclear family, the upward mobility - can make us feel isolated and unhappy. But in a divided America, where only a quarter of us know our neighbors and everyone is either a winner or a loser, we've forgotten the key element that helped us make progress in the first place: community.
In this provocative, groundbreaking work, Mia Birdsong shows that what separates us isn't only the ever-present injustices built around race, class, gender, values, and beliefs, but also our denial of our interdependence and need for belonging. In response to the fear and discomfort we feel, we've built walls, and instead of leaning on each other, we find ourselves leaning on concrete.
Through research, interviews, and stories of lived experience, How We Show Up returns us to our inherent connectedness where we find strength, safety, and support in vulnerability and generosity, in asking for help, and in being accountable. Showing up - literally and figuratively - points us toward the promise of our collective vitality and leads us to the liberated well-being we all want.
©2020 Mia Birdsong (P)2020 Hachette GoListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Mia Birdsong's deeply personal book calls forth a deeply public truth: that we're all better off when we're all better off. Her search for the meaning of community and belonging will inspire Americans from many walks to show up in a new way." (Eric Liu, CEO of Citizen University and author of Become America)
"This book is a blueprint to being vulnerable enough to love harder, dig deeper and be unafraid to redefine and expand our relationships. A beautiful and helpful piece of work. " (Tiq Milan, writer and LGBTQ advocate)
"This is a the book we've all been waiting for about the 'craft'--and that's what Mia Birdsong so insightfully names it--of creating community. She's a master craftswoman herself--gathering stories of such intentionality, honesty, and reliability that you will immediately start living your life more radically and reaping the rewards." (Courtney E. Martin, author of The New Better Off: Reinventing the American Dream)
"Mia Birdsong is one of our most important thinkers and strategists for how we build structures to support the families that we actually have and the kinds of families we would build if we weren't all so obsessed with respectability. This book gives us both the vision and the blueprint for how to do this in ways that feel sustainable, and quite frankly otherworldly. I left this book feeling something I haven't felt in a long time...hopeful." (Brittney Cooper, author of Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower)
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Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Everyday Ubuntu
- Living Better Together, the African Way
- By: Mungi Ngomane
- Narrated by: Nontombi Naomi Tutu
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Ubuntu is a Xhosa word originating from a South African philosophy that encapsulates all our aspirations about how to live life well, together. It is the belief in a universal human bond: I am only because you are. And it means that if you are able to see everyone as fully human, connected to you by their humanity, you will never be able to treat others as disposable or without worth. By embracing the philosophy of ubuntu and living it out in daily life it’s possible to overcome division and be stronger together in a world where the wise build bridges, not walls.
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Inspiring
- By Jack on 02-22-23
By: Mungi Ngomane
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Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen
- The Emotional Lives of Black Women
- By: Inger Burnett-Zeigler
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
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Black women are beautiful, intelligent, and capable - but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler praises the strength of women while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
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Amazing!
- By charlene lindsey on 09-08-21
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The Myth of the American Dream
- Reflections on Affluence, Autonomy, Safety and Power
- By: D.L. Mayfield
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Affluence, autonomy, safety, and power. These are the central values of the American dream. But are they actually compatible with Jesus' command to love our neighbor as ourselves? In essays grouped around these four values, D. L. Mayfield asks us to pay attention to the ways they shape our own choices, and the ways those choices affect our neighbors. Where did these values come from? How have they failed those on the edges of our society? And how can we disentangle ourselves from our culture's headlong pursuit of these values and live faithful lives of service to God and our neighbors?
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Sooooo good. Powerful
- By D. Frazier on 08-19-21
By: D.L. Mayfield
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The Future Is Disabled
- Prophecies, Love Notes and Mourning Songs
- By: Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
- Narrated by: Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
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In The Future Is Disabled, Leah Laksmi Piepzna-Samarasinha asks some provocative questions: What if, in the near future, the majority of people will be disabled—and what if that's not a bad thing? And what if disability justice and disabled wisdom are crucial to creating a future in which it's possible to survive fascism, climate change, and pandemics and to bring about liberation?
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Disability justice handbook
- By Alyssum M. Pohl on 03-17-24
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Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture
- 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Lisbeth Carol Keen
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
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Learn about the essential, complementary roles that mothers and fathers play; the dangers of social media - and how to help your daughter navigate them; what every daughter needs to know about God; how to launch your daughter into successful womanhood; and more.
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Should had read the details instead of the title.
- By Ms. Burke on 11-15-20
By: Meg Meeker
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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A look into the mind of Dr King
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An authentic brand community is more than just people buying your product or working alongside one another. This audiobook articulates the critical roles of mutual concern, common values, and shared experiences in creating fiercely loyal customer and collaborator relationships. Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles Vogl argue that in an authentic and enriching community, members have mutual concern for one another, share personal values, and join together in meaningful shared experiences, whether online or off. On the deepest level, brands must help members grow into who they want to be.
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Helpful book but narrative is a bit dry
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What listeners say about How We Show Up
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gabrielle Mish
- 12-26-21
Great read!
Great book, I think I learned a lot. Views that I didn't see before, or didn't realize I was seeing. Very well read. I will definitely recommend!
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- Tim Scott
- 12-07-22
Amazing
Hopeful, grounding, and inspiring. A must read for coping with the ever changing world. Community is key.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-16-22
Life changing in a difficult world
this is a book that is the ultimate elixir for lonely people to do better for themselves and the world through the power of community. must read for the times we are in...
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1 person found this helpful
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- Victor Jones
- 10-03-21
What America Needs
As a mental health therapist and trauma resilience educator, I can become bogged down with experiences of human injury, even though I love the people, the work and the science. How We Show Up is the blast of courage and authenticity that I need to inform and fortify my soul. This book is where I want to live. Birdsong called me to task so many times I lost count. How Birdsong shows up certainly authorizes her to do so. Gotta go. I'm about to read it again.
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- DragonMama
- 01-05-23
I want everything in this book in my life
I started recommending this book to other people I am loosely connected to about a third of the way in, and now that I have finished I am eager to start implementing some plans to manifest this in my local & virtual community spaces.
My only complaint is the audiobook format, being narrated by the author instead of a professional voice actor, made it hard to distinguish which of the many people being quoted were "speaking" when it wasn't the author. This confused me several times when I had paused the audiobook near when a perspective change was happening. With as much weaving in of other ways of being that there were (and done expertly from a writing/storytelling perspective), the skill of distinguishing the vocal nuances that identify the different speakers to a listener is NOT one of this authors many high-level competencies. I wish the audiobook had been done more similarly to "You Are Your Best Thing" by Tamara Burke & Brene Brown, where many (I don't think all) of the essays were read by people with the vocal skills that really brought the stories a fullness even better than reading words on a page. The emotiveness of Mia Birdsong's voice makes it better than reading as a text, but there would have been added layers to the effectiveness if at least the parts when she was speaking for someone else had been performed by another person. Michael Schur accomplished this excellently (in a way I think this audiobook would also be improved) in his collaborative audiobook effort on "How to Be Perfect." "How We Show Up" as an audiobook would have been itself perfect in my opinion if it had the voice distinction aspects - it is pretty darn awesome and absolutely "life goals" worthy as it is.
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- MW
- 01-08-23
Loved every minute
This book is grounded in a bold liberatory future while not being so idealistic that it might overwhelm you. Her stories and personal reflections are inspiring, encouraging, and practical. Thank you Mia for these invitations and for showing us what we could gain in embracing the imperfection inherent to building a more accountable, known and interdependent existence.
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- Fischer
- 03-16-22
GET THIS BOOK
This is by far one of the BEST nonfiction books I've ever heard! It's a dream of mine to open a community/retreat center and so I've been looking into people who build better communities and I know this book with stick with me. I plan to buy a physical copy so I can relisten and take notes. Not only is this book insightful, it's inspiring and heartwarming. I teared up a few times and I've reached out to people. GET THIS BOOK.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Justina H.
- 10-19-21
Amazing book
Thanks Mia for reading this book to me! Her passion were in her words! Great listen!
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- Kimberlee Johnson
- 06-08-23
Thank you for sharing this story.
As a person who is intentional about creating and maintaining healthy relationships, I have an appreciation for this book. Simultaneously, it challenges me to consider the depths of some relationships and the ease of releasing myself from others. While many of the connections in this book are not very relatable to me personally - it gave me space to see things differently.
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- B. Waters
- 02-13-24
Excellent!
Everyone should listen to this. The content is applicable to all human beings and really takes us through some extraordinary thought processes. Well worth listening to and really well narrated.
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