The Secret Footballer
What Goes on Tour
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Narrated by:
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Damien Lynch
About this listen
Random House presents the audiobook edition of The Secret Footballer: What Goes on Tour by The Secret Footballer, read by Damien Lynch.
Since his first book was published in 2012, The Secret Footballer has been able to take the reader behind the scenes of footballers' lives like no other player has been able, or will ever be able, to do. Anonymity has been a potent weapon in revealing the real world of football stars, and five years on, he has now penned the work that all his fellow professionals have been urging him to do from the start, The Secret Footballer: What Goes on Tour. And it isn't going to stay on tour any more...
From Marbella and Ibiza to Dubai and Las Vegas, The Secret Footballer lays bare the worst, most embarrassing and most hilarious excesses of these fit and mostly fickle young men whose million-pound salaries, to use his own words, 'open up a host of recreational opportunities'. Fuelled by rampaging desires for sex, drugs, booze and rock'n'roll, these footballers think up ever more extreme ways of splashing the cash, and needless to say, it doesn't always end well...
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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- Narrated by: Chris Jericho
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Three-time New York Times best-selling author and six-time WWE champion Chris Jericho shares 20 of his most valuable lessons for achieving your goals and living the life you want, jam-packed with fantastic stories and the classic off-the-wall, laugh-out-loud Jericho references he's famous for.
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GOAT is also a Four Letter Word
- By VC on 01-01-18
By: Chris Jericho
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Jack of Diamonds
- By: Bryce Courtenay
- Narrated by: Humphrey Bower
- Length: 26 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Born and raised in a poor, working-class family in Toronto, Jack Spayd is the son of an unhappy marriage. After being taken under the wing of "Miss Frostbite", the owner of a local jazz club, Jack becomes a gifted musician, playing piano and harmonica. Fame and the allure of gambling takes him to Vegas, and prospects of fortune take him to the Belgian Congo, where he's heard it's possible to earn big money working in the most dangerous parts of the local copper mines.
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On the Day we lost Bryce
- By Brodie on 11-23-12
By: Bryce Courtenay
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My Bass and Other Animals
- By: Guy Pratt
- Narrated by: Guy Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Guy Pratt came of age just as bass playing became sexy. Having dallied with punk legend Sylvain Sylvain, Pratt suddenly found himself on Top of the Pops and supporting David Bowie with smooth Australian outfit Icehouse. He became bass player to the stars, crawling from studio to bar and hotel to stadium Portakabin with the likes of Pink Floyd, Robert Palmer, Womack &Womack and Bryan Ferry. Guy has recorded with everyone from Madonna and Michael Jackson to McFly.
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Best book on Audible by a bass player!
- By Fjolnir on 03-12-12
By: Guy Pratt
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What Fresh Lunacy Is This?
- The Authorised Biography of Oliver Reed
- By: Robert Sellers
- Narrated by: Sean Barrett
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Oliver Reed may not have been Britain's biggest film star - for a period in the early 70s he came within a hairsbreadth of replacing Sean Connery as James Bond - but he is an august member of that small band of people, like George Best and Eric Morecambe, who transcended their chosen medium, became too big for it even, and grew into cultural icons. For the first time Reed's close family has agreed to collaborate on a project about the man himself.
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Ollie!
- By GK on 12-28-14
By: Robert Sellers
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January Window
- By: Philip Kerr
- Narrated by: Andrew Wincott
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone knows football is a matter of life and death. But this time, it's murder. Scott Manson is team coach for London City football club. He's also their all-round fixer - he gets the lads into training, and out of trouble, keeps the wags at bay and the press in his pocket. But now London City manager Joao Zarco is dead, killed at his team's beloved stadium at Silvertown Docks. Even Scott Manson can't smooth over murder... but can he catch the killer before he strikes again?
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Great mystery but even better football story
- By roger w patton on 05-14-15
By: Philip Kerr
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless
- Confessions of a Five Star Beverly Hills Server
- By: Paul Hartford
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless is not just a peek into the secretive inner workings of a legendary five-star restaurant; it is not just a celebrity tell-all or a scathing corporate analysis. It is a top-tier waiter's personal coming-of-age story, an intimate look into the complicated challenges of serving in the country's most elite, Hollywood-centric dining room while fighting to maintain a sense of self and purpose.
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Not what I imagined
- By Autumn Larkin on 02-17-17
By: Paul Hartford
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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The Best in the World
- At What I Have No Idea
- By: Peter Thomas Fornatale, Chris Jericho
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The Best in the World chronicles some of the incredible and often preposterous highlights of Jericho's recent career, including how Mickey Rourke challenged Jericho to a match then backed out; his escape from the 2010 Icelandic volcanoes in a broken-down, European rental-car shuttle; his encounters with Bob Barker, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Al Sharpton, and Mike Tyson; and his on-again, off-again relationship with WWE chief Vince McMahon.
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Among the Best Wrestling Autobiographies
- By VC on 09-04-16
By: Peter Thomas Fornatale, and others
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Snowing in Bali
- The Incredible Inside Account of Bali's Hidden Drug World
- By: Kathryn Bonella
- Narrated by: Nicholas Bell
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Snowing in Bali is the story of the drug trafficking and dealing scene that's made Bali one of the world's most important destinations in the global distribution of narcotics. With its central location to the Asia Pacific market, its thriving tourist industry to act as cover for importation, and a culture of corruption that can easily help law enforcement turn a blind eye, Bali has long been a paradise for traffickers as well as for holiday-makers. Kathryn Bonella, best-selling author of Hotel Kerobokan, has been given extraordinary access into the lives of some of the biggest players in Bali's drug world, both past and present.
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Oversensationalized
- By LCW on 04-23-17
By: Kathryn Bonella
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Ghosts of Manhattan
- A Novel
- By: Douglas Brunt
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s 2005. Nick Farmer is a 35-year-old bond trader with Bear Stearns clearing seven figures a year. The novelty of a work-related nightlife centering on liquor, hookers, and cocaine has long since worn thin, though Nick remains keenly addicted to his annual bonus. But the lifestyle is taking a toll on his marriage and on him.
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Great Book
- By Melvin on 06-30-15
By: Douglas Brunt