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The Witchstone
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Narrated by:
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Ramiz Monsef
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By:
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Henry H. Neff
About this listen
An unforgettable, high-stakes, laugh-out-loud funny novel, The Witchstone blends the merciless humor of The Good Place with the spellbinding fantasy of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods.
Meet Laszlo, eight-hundred-year-old demon and Hell’s least productive Curse Keeper. From his office beneath Midtown, he oversees the Drakeford Curse, which involves a pathetic family upstate and a mysterious black monolith. It’s a sexy enough assignment—colonial origins, mutating victims, et cetera—but Laszlo has no interest in maximizing the curse’s potential; he’d rather sunbathe in Ibiza, quaff martinis, and hustle the hustlers on Manhattan’s subway. Unfortunately, his division has new management, and Laszlo’s ratings are so abysmal that he’s given six days to shape up or he’ll be melted down and returned to the Primordial Ooze.
Meet Maggie Drakeford, nineteen-year-old Curse Bearer. All she’s ever known is the dreary corner of the Catskills where the Drakeford Curse has devoured her father’s humanity and is rapidly laying claim to her own. The future looks hopeless, until Laszlo appears at the Drakeford farmhouse one October night and informs them that they have six days—and six days only—to break the spell before it becomes permanent. Can Maggie trust the glib and handsome Laszlo? Of course not. But she also can’t pass up an opportunity to save her family, even if it means having a demon as a guide …
Thus begins a breakneck international adventure that takes our unlikely duo from a hot dog stand in Central Park to the mountains of Liechtenstein. As the clock ticks down, tough-as-nails Maggie and conniving Laszlo will uncover a secret so profound that what began as a farcical quest to break a curse will eventually threaten the very Lords of Hell.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Find a missing book. That was the job the woman in the Doc Martens gave us. Easy money, right? Only now it seems she's actually an ancient, powerful sorcerer, and the book is a Book of Power that doesn't want to be found. It wants to tear reality apart at the seams, and it'll use anyone it can to do it. So now we've got one spectacularly displeased sorcerer, a hungry, still-missing book, a dentist with bad hygiene, and a neighbourhood having some reality issues to deal with. Plus about a day before the book turns our world - and us - inside out.
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Hobbes: Unhuman Series, Books I-IV. It contains: I - Inspector Hobbes and the Blood, II - Inspector Hobbes and the Curse, III - Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers, and IV - Inspector Hobbes and the Bones.
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1989, Lamesa, Texas. A small west Texas town driven by oil and cotton—and a place where everyone knows everyone else’s business. So it goes for Tolly Driver, a good kid with more potential than application, seventeen, and about to be cursed to kill for revenge. Here Stephen Graham Jones explores the Texas he grew up in, and shared sense of unfairness of being on the outside through the slasher horror Jones loves, but from the perspective of the killer, Tolly, writing his own autobiography. Find yourself rooting for a killer in this summer teen movie of a novel gone full blood-curdling tragic.
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So much fun
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A Sorceress Comes to Call
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Cordelia knows her mother is . . . unusual. Their house doesn’t have any doors between rooms—there are no secrets in this house—and her mother doesn't allow Cordelia to have a single friend. Unless you count Falada, her mother's beautiful white horse. The only time Cordelia feels truly free is on her daily rides with him. But more than simple eccentricity sets her mother apart. Other mothers don’t force their daughters to be silent and motionless for hours, sometimes days, on end. Other mothers aren’t sorcerers.
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Tangled meets Get Out-trigger warning
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Strange Practice
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Dr. Greta Helsing has inherited the family's highly specialized and highly peculiar medical practice. She treats the undead for a host of ills - vocal strain in banshees, arthritis in barrow-wights, and entropy in mummies. It's a quiet, supernatural-adjacent life until a sect of murderous monks emerges, killing human and undead Londoners alike. As terror takes hold of the city, Greta must use her unusual skills to stop the cult if she hopes to save her practice - and her life.
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Keep Google open while you read
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What listeners say about The Witchstone
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- Valerie Yanetta
- 08-03-24
Clever and highly entertaining
I’ve read Henry Neff’s previous books, and this one is just as entertaining! I can see growth and maturity. This book has a unique premise and it was so nice to read something I don’t feel I’ve already seen a dozen times. I highly recommend this audiobook!! The narrator also does a terrific job with his acting and differentiating between character’s voices. Download now!
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8 people found this helpful
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- B Benz
- 10-31-24
Great minus one
i really enjoyed this more than I expected to. The story progresses in a fun amd natural way. the characters grew and changed in ways that were fun to read.
the wad only one spot that gives me cause to not give it the 5 stars. There is one scene that made it quite tricky to share with my sons. I enjoy sharing with them and discussing the books after they finish. But one scene, you will know witch but no spoilers, isn't really PG13. Yeah.
So, as long as you have a mature audience this is great but since one of the characters is the age of my boys I had developed preconceived notions about the whole book being safe for that age group. Now I have to hold off for a couple years. oh well.
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1 person found this helpful
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- adrienne yancey
- 10-20-24
Great story
I looked forward to every minute of this book. I enjoyed the story, the characters, some unexpected twists, and the narrator was very good. I hope there’s a sequel.
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- Stephanie Vinson
- 12-12-24
Great story
I loved the characters, I was sad when the story ended I wanted to know more of what happened with the family when the curse was broken
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- knott
- 01-02-25
curse bearers, sineaters, demon levels...
The Magi are one of my secret favorite topics! I was not expecting that at all. The narrator does a great job--- I really think I might know Elizabeth Campbell Drakeford from Connecticut with her brittle terse judgements.
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- Fox'sGma24
- 11-03-24
Great story for October!
Bought this to listen to during the last week of October, it did not disappoint. The main characters were developed at the beginning and you thought you knew what was going on...then the curve ball came.
I will listen to this one again, I am sure I missed something, as I listen while working, the epilogue tied the end up nicely but I still had questions...Lazlo was the best villan ever!!! The curse keepers and all of the descriptions of the demons, OMG, the cringe effect!! I loved it all, yeah, I will listen again next October, a great wicked Halloween type book.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-13-24
Entertaining story, heartfelt, and funny. Who knew a demon could be so complicated?
I haven't enjoyed a book this much in a long time. Wide range of characters that drew you in. Loved the dry humor throughout the story. Loved the story period. Sad it came to an end.
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- another know it all
- 11-02-24
A strange hero’s journey
Really good realistic characters seemed long at the beginning but then it ended too soon.
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- Fishcounter
- 11-11-24
Flawless & highly entertaining!
I love it when a plan comes together… A fun read that reminded me of those 60’s capers with fast talking con men are trying to stay ahead of everyone. The narration is well done as well.
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- Linda S.
- 11-30-24
Fantastic Humor!
I loved everything about this story! One of the best. Adorable characters! The narration was sublime.
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