To Kill or Be Killed
A True Crime Memoir from Prison
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Narrated by:
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Tanya Eby
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By:
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Joni Ankerson
About this listen
The day we met in October of 1997, I was working at the District Court in Traverse City, Michigan as a Deputy Clerk. It was like most other days with arraignments, sentencings, civil case hearings, and the like. People shuffling in and out, everyone taking care of their important business with court appearances, document filings, paying tickets, fines, and bonding loved ones out of jail.
I loved my job. It was extremely satisfying and interesting with constant interaction with all walks of life, including people on either end of the judicial spectrum and many in between. Suddenly, there he was. Tall, handsome, and looking so impressive and important in his Michigan State Police uniform with his hat, gun belt, and badge. A powerful man who had chosen a profession to serve and protect. He was extremely friendly and upbeat, smiling profusely. Best of all, he, too, was unattached.
What could go wrong? He was like a dream man. We clicked, immediately, and began dating exclusively. But he was not a dream man. He was a nightmare...as I learned over the next 12 years.
Twelve years of enduring domestic violence at its absolute worse. Constant abuse, control, manipulation, and threats. Sadistic sexual deviance and sexual violence. It was only going to end one way: someone would die in our bed and someone would go to prison for murder.
This is my story about domestic violence, resilience, reckoning, and survival.
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Bobi Conn was raised in a remote Kentucky holler in 1980s Appalachia. She remembers her tin-roofed house tucked away in a vast forest paradise; the sparkling creeks, with their frogs and crawdads; the sweet blackberries growing along the road to her granny’s; and her abusive father. An elegiac account of survival despite being born poor, female, and cloistered, Bobi’s testament is one of hope for all vulnerable populations, particularly women and girls caught in the cycle of poverty and abuse.
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Hard Pass
- By Kathryn Liggett on 06-13-20
By: Bobi Conn
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Remembering Satan
- A Tragic Case of Recovered Memory
- By: Lawrence Wright
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Remembering Satan is a lucid, measured, yet absolutely riveting inquest into a case that destroyed a family, engulfed a small town, and captivated an America obsessed by rumors of a satanic underground. It follows the increasingly bizarre accusations and confessions, as well as the claims and counterclaims of police, FBI investigators, and mental-health professionals.
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Lawrence Wright missed important details
- By Mark Carras on 06-05-22
By: Lawrence Wright
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The Meaning of Matthew
- My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed
- By: Judy Shepard
- Narrated by: Judy Shepard
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The mother of Matthew Shepard shares her story about her son's death and the choice she made to become an international gay rights activist.
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Heart breaking story
- By sherry on 08-10-12
By: Judy Shepard
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Hidden Girl
- The True Story of a Modern-Day Child Slave
- By: Shyima Hall, Lisa Wysocky
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Shyima Hall was born in Egypt on September 29, 1989, the seventh child of desperately poor parents. When she was eight, her parents sold her into slavery. Shyima then moved two hours away to Egypt's capitol city of Cairo to live with a wealthy family and serve them eighteen hours a day, seven days a week. When she was ten, her captors moved to Orange County, California, and smuggled Shyima with them. Two years later, an anonymous call from a neighbor brought about the end of Shyima's servitude - but her journey to true freedom was far from over.
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story
- By Don on 09-26-14
By: Shyima Hall, and others
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Lethal Guardian
- By: M. William Phelps
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 13 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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A real-estate lawyer in Connecticut's moneyed seaside communities, Beth Ann Carpenter, 30, had beauty, brains, and success. But she wanted more - namely guardianship of her two-year-old niece, Rebecca, daughter of Beth's estranged sister, Kim.
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Lethal Guardian
- By Tamara on 10-19-10
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A Killing in Amish Country: Sex, Betrayal, and a Cold-blooded Murder
- By: Gregg Olsen, Rebecca Morris, Linda Castillo - foreward
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Thirty-year-old Barbara Weaver was content to live as the Amish have for centuries - without modern convenience - but her husband, Eli, wanted a life beyond horses and buggies. Soon he gave in to the temptation of technology and found ways to go Online and meet women. When Barbara was found dead, shot in the chest at close range, all eyes were on Eli... and his mistress, a conservative Mennonite named Barb Raber. Barb drove Eli to appointments in her car. She gave him everything he asked for: a laptop, rides to his favorite fishing and hunting spots, and sex.
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Solid True Crime novel
- By justin on 06-05-18
By: Gregg Olsen, and others
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Dead Certain
- A Novel
- By: Adam Mitzner
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Ella Broden is living a double life. By day, Ella works as a buttoned-up attorney on some of the city's most grueling cases. By night, she pursues her passion for singing in the darkest clubs of Manhattan. No one knows her secret, not even Charlotte, the younger sister she practically raised. But it seems she's not the only one in the family with something to hide. When Charlotte announces she's sold her first novel, Ella couldn't be more thrilled...until she gets a call that her sister's gone missing.
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Mixed Review
- By Amazon Customer on 06-16-17
By: Adam Mitzner
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Getting Life
- An Innocent Man’s 25-Year Journey from Prison to Peace
- By: Michael Morton
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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On August 13, 1986, just one day after his 32nd birthday, Michael Morton went to work at his usual time. By the end of the day, his wife Christine had been savagely bludgeoned to death in the couple's bed - and the Williamson County Sherriff's office in Texas wasted no time in pinning her murder on Michael, despite an absolute lack of physical evidence. Michael was swiftly sentenced to life in prison for a crime he had not committed
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A must read
- By Kevlar314 on 04-23-15
By: Michael Morton
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Stolen Innocence
- My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs
- By: Elissa Wall, Lisa Pulitzer
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 15 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In September 2007, Elissa Wall, the star witness against polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, gave captivating testimony of how Jeffs forced her to marry her first cousin at age 14. This harrowing account proved to be the most compelling evidence against Jeffs, showing the harsh realities of this closed community and the lengths to which Jeffs went in order to control the sect's women. Now, in this courageous memoir, Wall tells the incredible story of how she emerged from the confines of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints and helped bring one of America's most notorious criminals to justice.
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Chris from Cedar City, UT USA
- By Christine on 06-14-08
By: Elissa Wall, and others
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Unspeakable
- Surviving My Childhood and Finding My Voice
- By: Jessica Willis Fisher
- Narrated by: Jessica Fisher
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Using the written word as her witness statement, Jessica Willis Fisher tells a lacerating story of finding her voice after two decades of silence and an unforgettable story of risk and faith.
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"Don't tell" culture exposed
- By Angela on 11-03-22
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On October 24, 1890, a woman's mutilated and lifeless body was discovered on a pile of rubbish in Hampstead, North London. Her arms were lacerated, her face crushed and bloodied, and her head almost completely severed from her body. A mile away a blood-soaked stroller was found leaning against a residential gate. The dead baby's body, hidden beneath a nettle bush, was not located until the following morning. So began the incredible story of the Hampstead Tragedy.
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In 1964, Mary Pinchot Meyer, the beautiful, rebellious, and intelligent ex-wife of a top CIA official, was killed on a quiet Georgetown towpath near her home. Mary Meyer was a secret mistress of President John F. Kennedy, whom she had known since private school days, and after her death, reports that she had kept a diary set off a tense search by her brother-in-law, newsman Ben Bradlee, and CIA spymaster James Jesus Angleton. But the only suspect in her murder was acquitted, and today her life and death are still a source of intense speculation.
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Easier to listen to than to read
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Too tedious to read
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What listeners say about To Kill or Be Killed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Benjamin
- 06-16-22
Worth listening to for sure.
Great story of brave woman. However , very robotic narrator sounded like Alexa was reading it.
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- Audible Customer
- 07-21-22
An Excruciating Story that Defies Understanding
"To Kill or Be Killed" by Joni Ankerson is very difficult to listen to, hard to understand, and even harder to continue listening to. This is sufferance beyond understanding; the question we often ask of people in abusive relationships..... why don't they just leave?
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- pastille morel
- 05-05-22
Needs Different Narratior
I’m sorry but this is the second audio book that I’ve heard by the narrator, Tanya something, that ruined the book or story for me, I’m truly sorry but this performer is just not cut out for true crime. She should stick with a different genre or subject like cooking or something happy because her reading style isn’t appropriate. Sometimes, she confuses dark narratives as bright and it’s just not right, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but this genre isn’t for her reading style.
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- Auskan
- 04-22-22
With a different narrator this would have been 5*
The story was very well written but the performance detracted from the overall in that she spoke in a monotone, clearly enunciating each word with equal weight and separation between words almost like it was being read by a computer, which was both distracting and made it difficult at times to hear the context in which the author had written those same words. In spite of that I felt the author did an amazing job of verbalizing how an intelligent woman can find herself slowly yet increasingly under the control of an abuser and how trapped that can make her feel.
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- Maria A
- 05-17-22
Sad story of abuse and manipulation
I wonder if the attacks on the author by some reviewers are the dead psychos family or friends 🤔
Definitely a How To Spot An Abuser Manual.
Glad she's out of prison
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- Michelle Abney-Grant
- 10-07-23
this membership is the best buy I've made this yea
excellent read!!!!! I felt like I was right there as a w
it Ness through the entire story. it really draws you into the story.
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- Veronica Jenson
- 07-01-23
Difficult to Understand
Just too difficult to understand that a Christian woman would endure, condone, participate in such aberrant sexual behavior under any circumstance.
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- Leslie Hayes
- 10-26-23
Unbelievable
This book was very interesting I truly cannot believe a person would do such acts to himself or someone else. Some people have deranged minds..
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- Peter Leo
- 04-11-22
Good story
I liked it deserved more than it's current rating. glad I listened. We're the bad reviews left by the troopers relatives or friends. poor woman very sick husband.
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- Anonymous User
- 08-17-22
Loved the way the story was presented
Love the way the story was presented. I can also sympathize with main character.
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