The Sociopath Next Door
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Narrated by:
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Shelly Frasier
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By:
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Martha Stout
About this listen
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)
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There's no denying the allure of psychopaths. There's something disturbing but fascinating about people so ruthless and manipulative, who lack the ability to feel guilt or remorse over their actions. Stories of psychopaths abound in just about every mystery subgenre, from action-packed thrillers to nuanced psychological character studies, and also stand out in works of psychology and neuroscience. Listen to some of the most riveting books about psychopaths.
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Why do we think, feel, and act in ways we wish we did not? For decades, New York Times best-selling author Dr. David A. Kessler has studied this question with regard to tobacco, food, and drugs. Over the course of these investigations, he identified one underlying mechanism common to a broad range of human suffering. This phenomenon - capture - is the process by which our attention is hijacked and our brains commandeered by forces outside our control.
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Confused
- By TS on 05-17-16
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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
- Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
- By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Narrated by: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception.
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If you're a liberal hater - this book's for you
- By MRN on 11-13-20
By: Carol Tavris, and others
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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The New Strong-Willed Child
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: John Fuller
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. James Dobson has completely rewritten, updated, and expanded his classic best seller The Strong-Willed Child for a new generation of parents and teachers. The New Strong-Willed Child follows on the heels of Dr. Dobson's phenomenal best seller Bringing Up Boys. It offers practical how-to advice on raising difficult-to-handle children and incorporates the latest research with Dr. Dobson's legendary wit and wisdom.
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Answer to my prayers!
- By JG on 03-04-16
By: James C. Dobson
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking
- How Irrational Beliefs Keep Us Happy, Healthy, and Sane
- By: Matthew Hutson
- Narrated by: Matthew Hutson, Don Hagen
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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In this witty and perceptive debut, a former editor at Psychology Today shows us how magical thinking makes life worth living. Psychologists have documented a litany of cognitive biases and explained their positive functions. Now, Matthew Hutson shows us that even the most hardcore skeptic indulges in magical thinking all the time - and it's crucial to our survival. Drawing on evolution, cognitive science, and neuroscience, Hutson shows us that magical thinking has been so useful to us that it's hardwired into our brains.
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Highly enjoyable
- By David R Pinsof on 05-01-12
By: Matthew Hutson
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The New Dare to Discipline
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: Mike Trout
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson.
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Well written, and very easy to listen to!
- By jeff lukasik on 01-12-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Living the Secular Life
- New Answers to Old Questions
- By: Phil Zuckerman
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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A guidebook for living a life without religion, combining sociological insight and personal inspiration. Over the last 25 years, "no religion" has become the fastest growing religion in the United States. Around the world, hundreds of millions of people have turned away from the traditional faiths of the past and embraced a secular - or nonreligious - life, generating societies vastly less religious than at any other time in human history.
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Anecdotal based approach for understanding
- By Gary on 12-30-14
By: Phil Zuckerman
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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An autobiography with splatter of neuropsychology.
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In Sheep's Clothing
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Dr. George K. Simon knows how people push your buttons: your children---especially teens---are experts at it, as is your mate. A coworker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it.
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Don't Be A Sucker
- By constructivefeedback on 02-07-12
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The Myth of Sanity
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Dragged out, needs lots of editing
- By Cat on 09-04-23
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Misleading Title, disappointing content
- By Brandon nieves on 11-03-20
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Not a sociopath!
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We know of psychopaths from chilling headlines and stories in the news and movies - from Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy to Hannibal Lecter and Dexter Morgan. As Dr. Kent Kiehl shows, psychopaths can be identified by a checklist of symptoms that includes pathological lying; lack of empathy, guilt, and remorse; grandiose sense of self-worth; manipulation; and failure to accept one’s actions. But why do psychopaths behave the way they do? Is it the result of their environment - how they were raised - or is there a genetic component to their lack of conscience?
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An autobiography with splatter of neuropsychology.
- By DORIS H. on 08-16-14
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Snakes in Suits, Revised Edition
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In Snakes in Suits, Hare, an expert on the scientific study of psychopathy, and Babiak, an industrial and organizational psychologist and a leading authority on the corporate psychopath, examine the role of psychopaths in modern corporations and provide the tools employers can use to avoid and deal with them. Together, they have developed the B-Scan 360, a research tool designed specifically for business professionals.
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The Book flip flops from great to unbearable
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By: Paul Babiak PhD, and others
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The Mask of Sanity
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Although highly controversial, Hervey Cleckley's Mask of Sanity provides one of the most influential clinical descriptions of psychopathy in the 20th century. At the crux of his argument, Cleckley claims that many psychopathic personalities go undiagnosed because they maintain a social mask that conceals their mental disorder and enables them to blend in with society. Furthermore, many of these affected individuals appear to function normally in accordance with standard psychiatric criteria.
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Amazing!
- By john s. cassell on 03-05-21
By: Hervey Cleckley
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The Psychopath Test
- A Journey Through the Madness Industry
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Overall
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Story
The Psychopath Test is a fascinating journey through the minds of madness. Jon Ronson's exploration of a potential hoax being played on the world's top neurologists takes him, unexpectedly, into the heart of the madness industry. An influential psychologist who is convinced that many important CEOs and politicians are, in fact, psychopaths teaches Ronson how to spot these high-flying individuals by looking out for little telltale verbal and nonverbal clues. And so Ronson, armed with his new psychopath-spotting abilities, enters the corridors of power.
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Painfully out of dated
- By Heather Wagner on 06-24-23
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Sociopath
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Overall
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Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
- By ScoobaRubio on 04-05-24
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The Psychopath Inside
- A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain
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The memoir of a neuroscientist whose research led him to a bizarre personal discovery, James Fallon had spent an entire career studying how our brains affect our behavior when his research suddenly turned personal. While studying brain scans of several family members, he discovered that one perfectly matched a pattern he’d found in the brains of serial killers. This meant one of two things: Either his family’s scans had been mixed up with those of felons or someone in his family was a psychopath.
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Entertaining story with some quick neuroscience
- By smarmer on 09-21-14
By: James Fallon
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Dangerous Personalities
- An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful People
- By: Joe Navarro, Toni Sciarra Poynter
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In Dangerous Personalities, former FBI profiler Joe Navarro shows listeners how to identify the four most common "dangerous personalities", and analyze how much of a threat each one can be: the Narcissist, the Predator, the Paranoid, and the Unstable Personality. Along the way, listeners learn how to protect themselves both immediately and long-term - as well as how to recover from the trauma of being close to such a destructive force.
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A Bad Conscience
- By Mel on 10-29-14
By: Joe Navarro, and others
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The Wisdom of Psychopaths
- What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success
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In this engrossing journey into the lives of psychopaths and their infamously crafty behaviors, the renowned psychologist Kevin Dutton reveals that there is a scale of "madness" along which we all sit. Incorporating the latest advances in brain scanning and neuroscience, Dutton demonstrates that the brilliant neurosurgeon who lacks empathy has more in common with a Ted Bundy who kills for pleasure than we may wish to admit, and that a mugger in a dimly lit parking lot may well, in fact, have the same nerveless poise as a titan of industry.
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The Monk or Serial Killer Next Door
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Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves
- Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood
- By: O.N.WARD
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Little Red Riding Hood's encounter with a cunning wolf is a metaphor laden with insight and warning that everyone should heed and understand. Why? Because it’s a metaphor for an unwitting relationship with a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. Regardless of the label, these veiled exploiters are far more common and dangerous to your emotional, financial, and personal well-being than most of us realize. To understand the danger they pose to you and those you love, come along for this retelling of the classic fairy tale and O.N. Ward’s analysis to learn about the prevalence of these ...
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Highly Recommended
- By Primetime on 10-10-24
By: O.N.WARD
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Men on Strike
- Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters
- By: Helen Smith PhD
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
American society has become anti-male. Men are sensing the backlash and are responding. They're dropping out of college, leaving the workforce, and avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates. The trend is so pronounced that a number of books have been written about this man-child phenomenon, concluding that men have taken a vacation from responsibility. But why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?
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Finally, someone said it!
- By Stephen Reid Kidd on 11-07-17
By: Helen Smith PhD
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Persuasion
- By: Dave Lakhani
- Narrated by: Dave Lakhani
- Length: 4 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The outcome of most persuasive events is determined before you ever say a word. People may know how to sell, but most were never taught how to persuade. Persuasion expert Dave Lakhani breaks down the process into easy-to-use steps, teaching the listener not only how to persuade, but the biology and psychology behind it as well.
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Worth the time and money.
- By J. Pennington on 01-16-08
By: Dave Lakhani
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Psychopath Free: Expanded Edition
- Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths & Other Toxic People
- By: Jackson MacKenzie
- Narrated by: Shaun Grindell
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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Sociopaths and Psychopaths
- Our True Intentions Revealed
- By: Ted Dawson
- Narrated by: Nancy Bos
- Length: 1 hr and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Sociopaths and psychopaths are slightly different, but both types of people have Antisocial Personality Disorder. This basically means that these people are monsters wearing human faces. They hurt people for pleasure and never feel remorse for the horrible things that they do. Having one of these people in your life is never a good thing.
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Gold
- By Jonathan B Callejas on 12-07-17
By: Ted Dawson
What listeners say about The Sociopath Next Door
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Overall
- David M
- 02-28-09
A Must Read
You simply need to understand and know how to deal with this personality type. Or else, you will most certainly be hurt, used or frustrated by them. I was recommended this book by a psychologist friend of mine. I thank him every time I see him for recommending it. As I said, a must read!
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21 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Renate
- 05-21-09
Absolutely Fascinating!
Based on science, but told in an anecdotal style. I could hardly stop listening.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Elijah Mathew smith
- 08-20-07
Facinating at Times
I found this book to be facinating at times, while clinical at others. Since I am in the mental health field I found it interesting, but a bit one-sided. I guess I have more compassion for these ill members of society, perhaps our friends and family members. I do keep my antennae up for signs to be aware of, and know how to keep my boundaries intact, maybe that is the true lesson here, but I think the author would prefer that we run for our lives. A good set of boundary keeping should suffice in these situations. I did give the book 4 stars, as I thought it to be above average and in an area of interest to me. The vignettes were good too, although sometimes incomplete. I don't necessarily agree with her that "conscience" and for her "lack of the ability to love" which she frames as one in the same, is the only factor for sociopathy, but she does argue a good point, and makes the reader well aware of characteristics that one may not generally see as part of a sociopath's personality, ie. charisma. The narrator was excellent and made some of the clinical parts more easily digestible.
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- Julia
- 07-26-17
Am I A Sociopath?
A true 'page turner' from the first sentence. As I listened not only did I examine and re-examine many of the individuals who have past through my journey of life but I really did have reason to stop and re listen to sections that kind of reminded me of.......me. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all malicious but in business I do tend to think of people as chess pieces. All positioned up until, I get the outcome that I require for success for my company and subsequently my self......check mate. A little disconcerting to say the least.
Martha Strout explains the 'sociopath' is good old fashioned plain english and backs it up with examples and scenarios.
Not too 'heady'. A great listen with an enjoyable performance by Shelly Frasier.
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- Crusader
- 04-10-13
Interesting, but more designed for professionals
Very clinical book, but still interesting to the layperson, especially for folks such as myself who enjoy crime-related books and TV programming. Gives a realistic insight into sociopaths.
The book is a little disjointed at times and could have been organized better, but perhaps that is just the way it appeared to me due to the difficult subject matter.
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- CBlox
- 05-25-09
thought provoking!!
This book caused me to think everyone I know might be a sociopath which isnt really a bad thing is it?
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- Kim
- 02-15-18
revealing and inspirational I was left with hope.
I enjoyed this narrator. this book gives food for thought that can be applied to every day life.
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- Christine
- 03-21-12
Of limited interest
The premise is worth considering. That its presentation was so reliant on anecdote and much of the discussion seemed superficial made it less than compelling.
Manipulative, self-serving individuals are often problematic, and it seems that such conduct is sometimes motivated by a weak conscience plus adverse circumstances, sometimes by the absence of conscience which is the focus of this book. Can a layperson really distinguish between the two? Whether the distinction would be relevant seems largely circumstantial. However, opportunities to help weak individuals reclaim some dignity might well be lost if the label "sociopath" is too broadly applied.
The narrator of this audiobook read clearly and expressively, but the reading was marred by mispronunciation of several words and Thich Nhat Hanh's name.
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- Margaret
- 02-01-14
Useful, Especially if You Know a Sociopath
This book is a useful and interesting dive into what makes the 4% of humans with no conscience tick. Martha Stout is refreshingly gimlet-eyed over sociopaths, not sympathetic towards them, and focuses the book on how normal people of conscience can protect themselves from these people. She also includes some interesting perspectives about what in American culture might empower sociopaths where they could be muted in some non-Western cultures. Interesting and not overly long. Competent narrator.
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- Judith Templeton
- 01-25-18
Real
Yes, I loved this book! Having experienced psychopaths in my personal life as well as in my clinical practice, and having experienced the raw end of the selective empathy stick, I understood what Stout said completely. I especially value the chapter with advice on what to do. Stout's advice helps my resolve to protect myself and loved ones. Frazier's narration was calming, matter of fact, and perfect for this harsh topic. I listened to the book nonstop and will do so again perhaps a year from now.
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