The Sociopath Next Door
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Narrated by:
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Shelly Frasier
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By:
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Martha Stout
About this listen
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)
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Why do we think, feel, and act in ways we wish we did not? For decades, New York Times best-selling author Dr. David A. Kessler has studied this question with regard to tobacco, food, and drugs. Over the course of these investigations, he identified one underlying mechanism common to a broad range of human suffering. This phenomenon - capture - is the process by which our attention is hijacked and our brains commandeered by forces outside our control.
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Confused
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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
- Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
- By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Narrated by: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception.
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If you're a liberal hater - this book's for you
- By MRN on 11-13-20
By: Carol Tavris, and others
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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The New Strong-Willed Child
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: John Fuller
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. James Dobson has completely rewritten, updated, and expanded his classic best seller The Strong-Willed Child for a new generation of parents and teachers. The New Strong-Willed Child follows on the heels of Dr. Dobson's phenomenal best seller Bringing Up Boys. It offers practical how-to advice on raising difficult-to-handle children and incorporates the latest research with Dr. Dobson's legendary wit and wisdom.
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Answer to my prayers!
- By JG on 03-04-16
By: James C. Dobson
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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The 7 Laws of Magical Thinking
- How Irrational Beliefs Keep Us Happy, Healthy, and Sane
- By: Matthew Hutson
- Narrated by: Matthew Hutson, Don Hagen
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
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In this witty and perceptive debut, a former editor at Psychology Today shows us how magical thinking makes life worth living. Psychologists have documented a litany of cognitive biases and explained their positive functions. Now, Matthew Hutson shows us that even the most hardcore skeptic indulges in magical thinking all the time - and it's crucial to our survival. Drawing on evolution, cognitive science, and neuroscience, Hutson shows us that magical thinking has been so useful to us that it's hardwired into our brains.
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Highly enjoyable
- By David R Pinsof on 05-01-12
By: Matthew Hutson
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The New Dare to Discipline
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: Mike Trout
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson.
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Well written, and very easy to listen to!
- By jeff lukasik on 01-12-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Living the Secular Life
- New Answers to Old Questions
- By: Phil Zuckerman
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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A guidebook for living a life without religion, combining sociological insight and personal inspiration. Over the last 25 years, "no religion" has become the fastest growing religion in the United States. Around the world, hundreds of millions of people have turned away from the traditional faiths of the past and embraced a secular - or nonreligious - life, generating societies vastly less religious than at any other time in human history.
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Anecdotal based approach for understanding
- By Gary on 12-30-14
By: Phil Zuckerman
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
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Performance
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
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The Wisdom of Psychopaths
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In this engrossing journey into the lives of psychopaths and their infamously crafty behaviors, the renowned psychologist Kevin Dutton reveals that there is a scale of "madness" along which we all sit. Incorporating the latest advances in brain scanning and neuroscience, Dutton demonstrates that the brilliant neurosurgeon who lacks empathy has more in common with a Ted Bundy who kills for pleasure than we may wish to admit, and that a mugger in a dimly lit parking lot may well, in fact, have the same nerveless poise as a titan of industry.
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The Monk or Serial Killer Next Door
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Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters
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Contrary to conventional wisdom, our brains and bodies are hardwired to carry out an evolutionary mission that determines much of what we do, from life plans to everyday decisions. With an accessible tone and a healthy disregard for political correctness, this lively and eminently readable book popularizes the latest research in a cutting-edge field of study: one that turns much of what we thought we knew about human nature upside-down.
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Not bad but didn't live up to the reviews
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By: Alan S. Miller, and others
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Psychopath Free: Expanded Edition
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The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
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What listeners say about The Sociopath Next Door
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- John
- 11-26-09
Helped me understand troublemakers in my life.
A May 15, 2009 listener review says, "her tome quickly degenerates into a not-too-subtly veiled commentary on conservatism, Bush and the War on Terror (all quite sociopathic, apparently)."
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Don't let this stop you from buying this book. I was still listening for this "not-too-subtle" commentary when the book was ending. The best guess I can come up with to explain where this slant was heard by the reviewer is the part of the book where Dr. Stout explains the usefulness of a sociopathic mind in a soldier in combat. This is true whether the battle is lead under a conservative or liberal government.
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Don't read too much into your friends, family, co-workers, or acquaintances after finishing this book. After a second time through the book, I have a better understanding of what the Doctor writes and have removed some people from my mental list of possibles, but still have a former co-worker and (sadly) and sibling who still fit the bill.
I hope I'm wrong about one.
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- WBA
- 12-11-11
Empower yourself
I found this book empowering, if only because it made me realize that some of the cruel behaviors I occasionally observed in my workplace could be the symptoms of sociopathy. Sometimes people I deal with behave in such entirely disgusting ways that I feel baffled that a member of the human race could act as they do. But then I assume I just overacting or misunderstanding the situation. Listening to this book allowed me to accepted the possibility that THEY are the insane ones, not me.
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37 people found this helpful
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- crazybatcow
- 02-28-12
A light(-ish) look at a serious subject
It was quite interesting - a psychologist's examination of the nature of sociopathy which she defines as, essentially, a lack of conscience. Literally... sociopaths don't feel a thing when they do bad things to other people.
Kinda disheartening because, well, there's nothing you can do to "redeem" them since they are incapable of redemption. The author does provide some steps to follow to protect yourself from sociopaths in your life, but since there's nothing to be done for people without a conscience, there's no advice on how to "help" them. (Well, other than to avoid trying to help them because by doing you're playing into their hands and you'll just end up getting hurt by them since that's what they do.)
This is not a self-help book (and if you're a sociopath, you probably won't get the book's point anyway, and, even if you did, you wouldn't care). It's a pop-psychology glimpse at what might be going on inside some of those mean/abusive/controlling people you know in your life.
The only real advice that comes out of it is to get away from a sociopath as quickly as possible... you can't help them - and they don't want to be helped - so just move along.
The narration is good.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Tcupp
- 02-24-18
The Sociopath Next Door
I read this book when it was published in 2005. I loaned the book out and never got it back. I purchased it on audible on sale. The narrator does an excellent job and the book is even more relevant today in the political times we are living in. It is a great read and I would highly recommended it.
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- dona m k
- 01-06-17
A MUST Read for everyone - especially young people
What made the experience of listening to The Sociopath Next Door the most enjoyable?
This was a very informative book. Helped me understand so many things about certain people in my life.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Not really a favorite character type of book.
What about Shelly Frasier’s performance did you like?
It was fine.
If you could give The Sociopath Next Door a new subtitle, what would it be?
Lessons You Don't Need to Live Through
Any additional comments?
I will have all of my younger children listening to this. It is a good lesson for young people to learn before they are sent into the world alone. Wish I would have been able to share it with my older children. Wish I could have read it before I went out into the world...
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kurt
- 01-01-12
Well Done
What did you like best about this story?
Wanting to see the best in everybody, encountering individuals that seemingly just want to inflict as much emotional pain as possible to others is hard to comprehend. This book validates that a significant amount of people actually do act to hurt others just for fun. Several of the examples could have come directly out of my life.
Any additional comments?
I have recommended this audio book to co-workers, friends and family. I consider it to be essential listening for all.
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- Bookworm
- 01-02-16
Pulls off an illustration of the guiltless
Pulls off an illustration of the guiltless in our society, and how they blend in. This book shows how to recognize, and thus steer clear of these folks.
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- Kyra
- 08-07-18
Insightful
I found this to be what I was looking for, it explained so many things to me, about people that are sociopath's, and how to relate to them, and than leave them alone. I had the experience of dealing with someone with a sociopath personality, and when I read this book I knew I was not imagining things, because the person seem normal, until you start seeing there dark side, this is a book to read, if you think you are dealing with a sociopath
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- Heidi
- 11-22-11
An interesting scholarly book
This is is a very scholarly book. It reads a little bit like a scholarly project (maybe a dissertation?) converted to a commercial book. It has some of the case studies that are fascinating analyses of sociopaths that you think you are going to get when you buy this book. Then several chapters between each of the case studies are scholarly discussions about the topic. Some of them are quite interesting, particularly at the beginning, when the author lays out the general ideas about sociopathy. Later on, though, chapters are belabored and difficult, like one on genetics.
Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention the reader's nasal, whining, annoying, voice. Frankly, there were times when I did not think I could finish the book because of it.
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- meredith mcarthur
- 11-15-11
an excellent analysis of a complex subject.
Would you consider the audio edition of The Sociopath Next Door to be better than the print version?
not better, just different.
What other book might you compare The Sociopath Next Door to and why?
there are a few books coming out on this type of subject, but this author really has a handle on the subject, from her clinical practice as a psychologist, and as one who has studied it in great depth.She knows the signs, and knows what to look for, and has spent her life trying to help the victims of such people. I really enjoyed her little tableaus in which she describes people that she has met either directly or indirectly through her practice.They were a perfect illustration for this subject.
Which scene was your favorite?
NA
If you could give The Sociopath Next Door a new subtitle, what would it be?
Perhaps... 'required reading for those contemplating management roles'
But regardless, it is a useful read for anyone involved in an organization such as a hospital for example.
There is bound to be someone you will recognize from her analysis. Even if you are not working in an organization or similar, it is a useful text, because the subjects (i.e. sociopaths) can be quite baffling to others for a variety of reasons.
Any additional comments?
I live in Adelaide AU, not Alabama USA. Thanks Audible.
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