Unhooked
How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
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Narrated by:
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Ellen Archer
About this listen
We're living in an increasingly sexualized world, and it's the young, particularly young women, who must deal with the consequences. Kids are having more sexual contact than ever, and at an earlier age. They call it "hooking up". But what is "hooking up"? According to Laura Sessions Stepp, a reporter at the Washington Post, hooking up eludes a neat definition. It can be anything from an innocent kiss to sexual intercourse.
In Unhooked, Stepp follows three groups of young women (one in high school, one each at Duke and George Washington Universities). She sat with them in class, socialized with them, listened to them talk, and comes away with some disturbing insights, including her finding that hooking up carries with it no obligation on either side. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed or, worse, seen as impossible. Some young women can handle this, but many can't, and they're being battered physically and emotionally by the new dating landscape. The result is a generation of young people stymied by relationships and unsure where to turn for help.
"The need to be connected intimately to others is as central to our well-being as food and shelter," Stepp writes in Unhooked. "In my view, if we don't get it right, we're probably not going to get anything else in life right."
©2007 Laura Sessions Stepp (P)2007 Tantor Media Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
Laura Sessions Stepp's Unhooked is an intriguing and informative glimpse into the realm of hookup culture as it is currently playing out among contemporary high school and college students. Stepp tracks three groups of adolescent and post-adolescent women as they navigate the stormy waters of sex and love in the modern world, seeking insight into their perceptions of physical and emotional intimacy, and asking hard questions about how they handle - and choose not handle - romance and relationships.
Ellen Archer is a lively performer who brings a strong, sharp energy to this audiobook, and her clear articulation guides listeners with ease through Stepp's thought-provoking expedition into the brave new world of modern love.
Critic reviews
"This insightful study is vivid and engaging, and includes a practical conversation guide for mothers and daughters, making it a valuable text for parents that goes beyond the latest the-kids-are-not-alright headlines." (Publishers Weekly)
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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Unrequited
- Women and Romantic Obsession
- By: Lisa A. Phillips
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned 30, she fell in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.
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Great book! So-so narrator....
- By ToluGrace on 04-14-15
By: Lisa A. Phillips
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Transition
- The Story of How I Became a Man
- By: Chaz Bono
- Narrated by: Chaz Bono
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At first, America knew the only child of Sonny and Cher as Chastity, the cherubic little girl who appeared on her parents' TV show. In later years, she became famous for coming out on a national stage, working with two major organizations toward LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights and publishing two books. And just within the past 18 months, Chaz Bono has entered the public consciousness as the most high-profile transgender person ever.
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Great book
- By Lisa M. W. on 10-26-19
By: Chaz Bono
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Labor of Love
- The Invention of Dating
- By: Moira Weigel
- Narrated by: Kyra Miller
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Weaving together over 100 years of history with scenes from the contemporary landscape, Labor of Love offers a fresh feminist perspective on how we came to date the ways we do. This isn't a guide to "getting the guy". There are no ridiculous "rules" to follow. Instead Weigel helps us understand how looking for love shapes who we are and hopefully leads us closer to the happy ending that dating promises.
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Not Meant To Be Useful, But Quite Fun
- By Gillian on 02-14-17
By: Moira Weigel
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Have a New Teenager by Friday
- From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Kirby Heybourne
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home. Life will never quite be the same again (of course, you already know that). But it can be better than you’ve ever dreamed. In fact, you’re just five days away from your teenager asking, “What can I do to help?” Guaranteed! With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman will help you. your teenager’s life. With Dr. Leman’s instinct and insight, plus an index with gutsy advice on 75 hot-button issues that keep parents up at night.
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Listen with a Critical Mind
- By Stephanie on 03-25-13
By: Kevin Leman
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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Modern Romance
- An Investigation
- By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Narrated by: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
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Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
By: Aziz Ansari, and others
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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My Two Moms
- Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family
- By: Zach Wahls, Bruce Littlefield
- Narrated by: Kris Koscheski
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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On January 31, 2011, Zach Wahls addressed the Iowa House Judiciary Committee in a public forum regarding civil unions. The 19-year-old son of a same-sex couple, Wahls proudly proclaimed, "The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character." Hours later, his speech was posted on YouTube, where it went viral, quickly receiving more than two million views. By the end of the week, everyone knew his name and wanted to hear more from the boy with two moms.
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You will not regret listening to this.
- By V. Brown on 06-07-12
By: Zach Wahls, and others
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
What listeners say about Unhooked
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Lee
- 12-08-09
Very Good
Having two daughters myself, I found this book very informative. I was definitely worth it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Elton
- 04-19-07
Essential Reading for Parents
I have read other reviews that really fail to get the importance of what Seesions is trying to say. As a society the US needs to stop and take a collective look in the mirror. It's not about taking a far right or left stand, it's about looking at attitudes and behavior patterns that are healthy and productive. In the current psychological state of individuality and freedom of self expression many people have neglected their obligations not only to others, but also to themselves. This book is a really good book for girls and women, but it is important for men, and essential for parents of boys or girls. Worth the listen.
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16 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Joel
- 12-06-09
For every parent, and young woman
To understand my review, it may be best to describe myself. I grew up in the culture just barely before that of these girls studied in this book. I'm still of the 'old school' who opens doors and expects a woman to be worthy of a date, though I date women from this generation - I've done the "hook up" for many years and have grown past it. This book describes, in honest "in-your-face" detail, the way most younger adults now think. The real lesson is that this is a review on an entire culture, not just women and sexuality.
Probably the best audience for this book is for young women themselves, but immediately thereafter for parents of young women. And by young women, I mean 12-14 year old women. Yes, specifically that young, because whether you like it or not, or you think it or not...your daughters are who this is book is nodding towards. And if you think "not my daughter", then it's even MORE likely your daughter could be reviewed in the next revision.
I think ths book would help you to read/understand your children. Read their problems and pressures, their emotions and their fears. Stop acting like "they're too young." You don't get to decide that any more. You gave up that right when you expected them to act like adults at 14. If you want to take any semblance of that back, then you need to learn to communicate with them and talk openly about the things you DON'T like to think are happening. And to do that, you need to actually know the truth. Not just what you want to hear.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Chi-Hung
- 10-07-09
How typical are the statistical sample
This is an interesting essay, and describe a social problem intelligently and analytically. However, the subject sampled and case studies seems like the sophisticated version of OC, not everyone were born with a silverspoon, nor does everybody goes to Duke Uni or GWU, and I am sure those rich, smart and ambitious girls do not make more than 30% (if lucky) what about the rest of us? Do we even count?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ellen
- 03-02-09
Sound advice until the end
I think this book has some very sound advice about pulling back from the hookup culture -- but the author completely blows it in the last chapter. The advice she gives at the end is ridiculous. Bake cookies to make men fall in old-fashioned love with us? That didn't work back in my day either. I wish someone modern, without as much of a political ax to grind, would write a book on how to pull back from the hookup culture and do it in a modern way. The author is right on how hookup culture hurts people (in my opinion.) Her advice on how far to pull back takes us not back to the 50's but to the 1910's. I doubt baking cookies made men fall in love with women in 1910 either. I can't remember everything else in that last chapter full of advice how to change our behavior but it deserved every bit of ridicule it got from the feminist blogs. The last chapter almost negated the rest of the book because it was so retro.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Erik Hobbs
- 05-14-22
Feminist
Not a bad book I just fill that is more for the feminist type. Now with that being said I would like for every woman to know that hooking up is not the best thing to do in your life, witch you will see she shows that in the end.
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- Douglas
- 12-07-15
Just Another Way Feminism Screwed Women...
Armed with their moronic Marxist ideologies, radical feminists continue to claim that there are no innate differences in males and females (despite all the brain science and genetics and endocrinology to the contrary!), and insist not that men become more gentle, loving and patient, but rather that women become even more raunchy, lewd and emotionallessly sexual than the worst of men. This is the part of feminism that really baffles me--that is, it fetishizes the very things about men that it is supposed to despise. And who has suffered? Of course, the majority of women--that is, the ones who should have sense enough to see through the radical few trying to sell their political policies and not really giving a damn about the women and children they claim to be protecting. Read this book exposing our currently absurd sexual culture before it is declared hate speech and banned.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- James
- 12-21-09
Scary... yet a fantastic book!
I hate to think that this is the way the next generation is going to be growing up, but we have to face the reality of things.I feel mostly for the young girls who grow up with a lowered sense of self-esteem and tarnished reputations (let alone a high probability STD's, pregnancies and abortions), but we can't forget the young boys who will shortly be grown into young men and the regard that I have for women and relationships.
I highly recommend this book, and for every parent to make it time to sit down and go over it with their preteens and teenage children. I know that most young people feel that they have all the answers, but this is where we as adults can really step up and help them along the way.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Dallas
- 05-23-20
Depressing
The story told is a shocking indictment of the culture of young adults. I sincerely hope that Ms Stepp found the minority of young women who acted like tramps...but I fear she has hit the nail on the head. As the father of two grown daughters and 3 granddaughters, I fear for the future.
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- Addicted to Amazon
- 09-01-18
Slut shaming at worst, biased investigation reporting at best
At worst this is slut shaming. At best it's a good in-depth read investigation into intimate relationships from the 16-20 y.o. female perspective. Unfortunately, the research is overshadowed by the slutshaming preaching and the judgement the other has for anyone who has sex outside a 'long term" relationship.
With nonfiction scientific research books I rarely rarely dislike a book.
I may have differences of opinion with the author, as long as the facts are presented everyone is entitled to their own conclusions. Give the readers the opportunity to form their own conclusions.
I do take issue with authors who present only one side of an argument as if EVERY fact only points one way. This is seldom the case.
An author who presents their story as 'scientific research" but is little more then interviews or 'case studies' with less then 10 peopleand then their stories cherry picked for things that proves the authors points should hardly b considered scientific.
That being said let's talk about the book.
This an editorial book that stems from a series of articles the author wrote on the topic.
She has an opinion, which is fine, but it's wrapped in the cloak of scientific research.
This book is really a giant book about slut shaming. If a relationship fails it's because of sex, if you have sex the relationship will fail. If you have sex outside a "long term" relationship it will fail. It will also make your future relationships fail. She doesn't address the reason girls have sex as the underlying symptoms and how the same issues, insecurities, seeking acceptance etc. She says if you have sex early or often you won't be happy.
She gives no weight to women who gain happiness and even goes to extremes to show how successful women make mistakes in sex.
She then wraps it up with fear mongering slut shaming saying this like "what happens when you show up to a cocktail party and realize you've had sex with ever one there?". What?!?! Really? Her scientific research says this happens often eh?
Or this gem, "how will you feel when your coworkers see a video of you on the internet in an intimate interaction with your lover at the time?" Right so revenge porn is the victims fault??? Cmon. This is book was done in 2007, I get it but I feel slut shaming wasn't ok then either.
This book has built a huge following upon parents and I hope it goes talking points for discussion between the parent and girl.
That is why it got 2 stars because it does give an eye opening first hand account of the teenage female brain on sex.
However, it's a whole inappropriate book for the young adult. You can imagine her preaching to her kids using scare tactics like "don't send ymany boys pictures of you in case some future job may seem them." Instead of discussing trust with a partner and expectations of what he will do with it. Or discussing how she is proud of her developing body and enjoys the appreciation of the guy if his desires etc.
This book had lots of potential had the author disregarded her own agenda of imposing her moral views on others.
She clearly spent a lot of time and energy as we as others times exploring the current hookup environment. That could have been invaluable information. It is too bad she twisted that into slut shaming. It is interesting to note she preaches at the parents and adults of the kids not the children as if they made these decisions out of ignorance and it's the parents fault because the kids are lost puppy dogs who don't know any better.
While I'm glad I read it due to the in-depth research of current romantic relationships, the judgement and preaching is hard to tune out.
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3 people found this helpful