Valley Vampire
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Narrated by:
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Destiny Landon
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By:
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Joel M. Andre
About this listen
Bambi Simmons is the perfect woman. She is tall, slender and blonde with everything going for her.
But she also has a very dark secret that only a few unfortunate people have learned. When an officer comes too close to the truth, she totally has to take care of business.
Embark on a different sort of vampire tale in this dark comedy by Joel M. Andre that features his beloved detective Lauren Bruni.
©2008 Joel Haynie (P)2012 Joel HaynieListeners also enjoyed...
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great adaptation
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A kidnapped fifteen-year-old girl in a country this father barely understands. Atlas Hargrove is officially on the hunt. Former SWAT commander, Atlas Hargrove, just earned himself back-to-back life sentences in a California supermax prison. One wrong moment cost him his wife, his family, his life. All is not lost, though. On the fringes of polite society, financiers with leverage and influence are in constant search of a brute like Atlas, an unlikely asset with a perfect alibi and the need to raise hell in the middle of hell itself.
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Interesting book
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She only stepped outside for a minute… But a minute was all it took to turn Jean Kingsley’s world upside down - a minute she’d regret for the rest of her life. Stepping into her worst nightmare…Because when she returned, she found an open bedroom window and her three-year-old son, Nathan, gone. The boy would never be seen again. A nightmare that only got worse. A tip eventually leads detectives to their killer, a repeat sex offender, and inside his apartment, a gruesome discovery. A slam-dunk trial sends him off to death row, then several years later, to the electric chair.
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- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Justin on 11-22-22
By: John Conroe
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Lamb to the Slaughter
- By: Karen Ann Hopkins
- Narrated by: Charlie Thurston, Carly Robins, Cassandra Morris
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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The death of a teenage Amish girl in a cornfield looks like an accident, but sheriff Serenity Adams suspects foul play. To solve the murder, she must investigate the nearby Amish community with the help of a man who was shunned years ago. At first glance, the case seems obvious. The poor girl was probably accidently shot during hunting season, but when the elders of the Amish community and even the girl's parents react with uncaring subdued behavior, Serenity becomes suspicious.
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Awful
- By Sterling Splendor on 02-15-18
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Nero
- Made Men, Book 1
- By: Sarah Brianne
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Nero is the king of Legacy Prep, living a life of power. Elle is the school's punching bag, living a life of fear.
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two words...Amazing and hott!
- By Jenee's Reviews on 09-15-15
By: Sarah Brianne
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Persistence
- By: Marc Costanzo
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Celia Miller is the Ravencourt PD's only female officer. When she's not contending with the latest in a long line of lowlife drug abusers and wife beaters who pay more attention to her body than her badge, she has to put up with a police force that refuses to respect her. But Celia has a job to do, and for months her middle-of-nowhere desert town has been victimized by an increasingly violent gang dubbed "The Illegals". The alien masks they wear have made them an urban legend, but Celia's off-the-books investigation has uncovered the true scope of their criminal operation.
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Great Summer Thriller
- By Jill Reeves on 06-28-18
By: Marc Costanzo
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The Runner
- From the World of The Vale
- By: Brian D. Anderson
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 1 hr and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Drake Sharazi, disgraced former captain of the Royal Guard, has spent the past seven years chasing fugitives as a hawker. He has never failed to complete an assignment, and this new runner will not be an exception. But being able to do a thing does not mean you should. Now he is forced to question the world around him as never before.
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Night Rising
- Vampire Babylon, Book 1
- By: Chris Marie Green
- Narrated by: Khristine Leeto
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Stuntwoman Dawn Madison hasn't been on the best of terms with her father since her movie star mother died. Still, he is her dad, and when he vanishes while investigating the bizarre sighting - caught on film - of a supposedly long-dead child star, she comes home to Tinseltown to join the search for him. Working with his odd colleagues, she discovers an erotic and bloody underground society made up of creatures she thought existed only on the screen.
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awesome
- By Sl on 01-23-15
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Daywalker - The Beginning
- A Dark Fantasy Short Story
- By: Tessa Dawn
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 1 hr and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Lacy Logan thought she had a normal life. She was healthy, happy, and about to start her own paranormal investigations business...until she met the man in black. In a matter of days, she was fighting for her life, questioning her sanity, and hoping to uncover a secret from her past that would allow her to slay a demon.
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LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!
- By bookworm2121 on 02-13-16
By: Tessa Dawn
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Deadlocked 1
- By: A.R. Wise
- Narrated by: Brian Sutherland
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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David was caught in the middle of the city when the zombie outbreak started. His wife and daughters were at home, stranded on the roof as zombies waited below. He would have to fight through hordes of undead, merciless other survivors, and a series of death defying stunts to get home. However, even if he makes it there, how can he be sure they're safe? Deadlocked puts you into David's head as he struggles to get home. Then a final confrontation occurs that could guarantee his family's survival, but at what cost?
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Looks like a great series to follow
- By Tilo on 07-06-14
By: A.R. Wise
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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The Death
- A Post Apocalyptic Novel
- By: John W. Vance
- Narrated by: Guy Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The Death will find you... Devin Chase was just living his life, when the world changed in an instant. In the matter of a week a deadly virus known as The Death ravages the world killing over 90% of those infected. After six months in a self-imposed quarantine, he emerges into a new world. As he travels, he discovers others like him who are immune, but he also discovers that the world he knew is gone. It has been replaced with a savage and brutal one where the only rule is kill or be killed.
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Unintentionally hilarious!
- By Steve Welch on 06-18-15
By: John W. Vance
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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A Demon Bound
- Imp, Book 1
- By: Debra Dunbar
- Narrated by: Angela Rysk
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Samantha Martin is an imp, enjoying an extended vacation from Hel. All she wants to do is drink beer by the pool, play mischievous pranks on the humans, and get her hot neighbor in the sack. It's a relaxing break from her infernal home as long as she manages to avoid the angels, who won't hesitate to execute her on sight. But when her naughty hellhound lands her in trouble with the local werewolf pack, Sam is blackmailed into helping track and catch a killer. The steps she must take to appease the werewolves will put her right in the crosshairs of the angels.
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Slow narrator
- By daunetullina on 06-17-14
By: Debra Dunbar
What listeners say about Valley Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Celestial Starz
- 09-16-12
BLONDES ARE "DEADLY" FUN -BRUNETTES ARE SERIOUS !
Would you listen to Valley Vampire again? Why?
Ohhhh Yes ! I would listen to this audio a few more times, just to remind myself how smart and witty brunettes truly are, and how overrated and underestimated blondes have always been! hee hee hee ... (now that you all know I AM a brunette!!) Back to the story .. ahem .. Bambi is the lead character, with the most irritating valley girl voice/personality you could ever even imagine. Lauren Bruni is the smart, officer/detective side kick (and brunette!!!) of officer Cary Thompson. They are searching for clues to the "disappearance" of Kyle Walker, a student who attended the local high school. Apparently Bambi Simmons, the drop-dead gorgeous blonde in the skimpy, sexy attire with leather boots to match, was the last one to be seen with the young student. Bambi drives a luxury red sports car with the license plate 'VAMP' and looks anything 'but' innocent. The story continues as the two detectives ask Bambi to assist them with a trip to where Kyle Walker was last seen. And this is where the short story unfolds to a heightened frenzy!
What other book might you compare Valley Vampire to and why?
No other story reminds me of Valley Vampire mainly because "Valley", referring to Bambi's valley girl persona, made it a one of a kind short story. The valley girl style was popular way back in the '70's, so this effected speech pattern relays to the reader that Bambi has been alive since way back when, and she still looks like a teenager 30 years later!
Which scene was your favorite?
My favorite scene was Lauren and Bambi's confrontation - the cat and the mouse chase through the woods. I also liked the description of when Bambi stuck her fingers down her throat and 'projectile-vomit-spewed' the blood she had just swallowed into 'you-know-who's' face. That was pretty horrifyingly disgusting!
Who was the most memorable character of Valley Vampire and why?
I think it was a tie between Bambi Simmons and Lauren Bruni. Bambi was the most memorable because she is the hot vampire that seduces innocent young teenagers into their demise and at times, decides to turn a few just to entertain herself. Lauren is the character we want to see save the world from the multiplying "Bambi's" among us.
Any additional comments?
Great short audio listen that will keep asking questions even after the story ends. I know many people are irritated by open ended stories, but I find them enticing and fun. Always leaves room for you to create your own ending or to search for the authors next book to see if yours was the same as the authors. If Bambi is 'turning' others, which means she turned them 'into' vampires, than Lauren has a lot more work ahead of her, as vampire slayer!
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24 people found this helpful
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- Professor
- 10-26-12
Temporary Insanity With Elements of Amnesia
Amnesia:
I don't remember when? How? Under what circumstances? i decided to buy this book!
I mean I don't have any recollection of reading summary, getting reccomendations from my friends or any other actions concerning this book.
Insanity:
Apparently sometime in my cloudy past I decided to buy this book.
But why in gods name I spent the whole credit on it istead of just buying it for $6.95?!!!
Nevertheless I read it and I want my money back
I haven't heard anything funny, no plot to speak of...
Actually nothing to speak off
I think there was some mistake because this must've been given as a free sample, it doesn't worth more than $0.99
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8 people found this helpful
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- alice
- 10-30-12
Wasted Time
I can't remeber what led me to believe this would be a fun short read. Oh yeh, it was the name. The story could be pretty good & should be. Something is amiss in the compilation, plus the reader is inconsistant. Add to that the glitch, hiccup, booboo, whatever that caused the first few lines of the book to repeat after the book ended & you have a dissapointed old chick. Thank goodness I didn't pay more than $5 for this.
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4 people found this helpful