When Life Gives You Vampires
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Narrated by:
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Meg Sylvan
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By:
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Gloria Duke
About this listen
Twenty-five-year-old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily is determined to get to the bottom of it or die (again) trying.
Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change.
Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forevermore?
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- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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The Keepers Box Set
- Alchemy Series, Books 1-4
- By: Donna Augustine
- Narrated by: Laurel Schroeder
- Length: 25 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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For the first time, get all four books in the Alchemy series in one audiobook bundle. The series begins with The Keepers: Two days ago, Jo Davids was a waitress by night and a college kid by day, with the unnerving problem of objects floating around her. One day ago, Jo's sexy boss, Cormac, noticed her for all the wrong reasons when she witnessed a man transform into a monster in the basement of his casino. Today, Cormac ordered her shot. If he's real lucky, she won't die. Because if she does, all hope is lost.
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Breathless virgin lusting for bad boys spoiled it
- By Ethosian on 05-12-18
By: Donna Augustine
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Blood Ties Book One
- The Turning
- By: Jennifer Armintrout
- Narrated by: Elenna Stauffer
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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I'm no coward. I want to make that perfectly clear. But after my life turned into a horror movie, I take fear a lot more seriously now. I finally became Dr. Carrie Ames just eight months ago. Then I was attacked in the hospital morgue by a vampire. Just my luck.
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if you love 'bodice ripper novels'...
- By Victoria on 11-03-08
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Darkness Unbound
- By: Keri Arthur
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Keri Arthur received the coveted Romantic Times Career Achievement Award for her urban fantasy tales. In Darkness Unbound, Risa Jones’ werewolf-and-Aedh lineage allows her to see reapers - supernatural beings that escort the souls of the dead to the afterlife. But when Risa discovers that a practitioner of blood magic is preventing souls from moving on, she knows she must set things right before all hell breaks loose.
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Okay
- By Stephanie on 07-21-18
By: Keri Arthur
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Sweet Little Lies
- A Heartbreaker Bay Novel
- By: Jill Shalvis
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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As captain of a San Francisco Bay tour boat, Pru can handle rough seas - the hard part is life on dry land. Pru loves her new apartment and her neighbors; problem is, she's in danger of stumbling into love with Mr. Right for Anybody but Her.
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Don''t Bother
- By MABJM on 08-04-16
By: Jill Shalvis
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Kitty and The Midnight Hour
- Kitty Norville, Book 1
- By: Carrie Vaughn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Kitty Norville is a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station---and a werewolf in the closet. Sick of lame song requests, she accidentally starts "The Midnight Hour," a late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged. After desperate vampires, werewolves, and witches across the country begin calling in to share their woes, her new show is a raging success.
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BILL CLINTON WAS A WEREWOLF
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-27-17
By: Carrie Vaughn
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Some Girls Bite
- Chicagoland Vampires, Book 1
- By: Chloe Neill
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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They killed me. They healed me. They changed me. Sure, the life of a graduate student wasn't exactly glamorous, but it was mine. I was doing fine until Chicago's vampires announced their existence to the world---and then a rogue vampire attacked me. But he only got a sip before he was scared away by another bloodsucker...and this one decided that the best way to save my life was to make me the walking undead.
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Almost Great...
- By Jan on 01-10-11
By: Chloe Neill
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Down on Me
- By: J. Kenner
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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With his tight muscles and vibrant ink, certified bachelor Reece Walker is the kind of man who’s used to having any woman he craves in his bed - except Jenna Montgomery. She’s been his best friend for years, and that’s a line he just can’t cross. Until a wild, stolen kiss changes everything. Now anything goes, and Reece is determined to use every wicked skill in his sensual repertoire to claim Jenna as his friend, his lover, his everything.
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Good listen!
- By Virginia on 08-18-18
By: J. Kenner
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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Borderline
- The Arcadia Project, Book 1
- By: Mishell Baker
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A year ago Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales. For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court.
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It's the characters
- By Ken Schneyer on 02-11-17
By: Mishell Baker
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Nevermore Bookstore!
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Fang Fiction
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Tess Rosenbloom is no stranger to the dark. An assault survivor and grad school dropout, Tess spends her nights managing a chic Brooklyn hotel and her days reading her favorite vampire novels, Blood Feud. She even dabbles in online conspiracies claiming Blood Feud is real—it’s fun to hunt for clues! But deep down, Tess doesn’t believe vampires actually exist . . . until one walks through her door. It turns out the sexy villain of Blood Feud is trapped, and only Tess can rescue him.
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Overall good story
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My Vampire Plus-One
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Amelia Collins is by definition successful. She would even go so far as to say successfully single. But not according to her family, and she's tired of the constant questions about her nonexistent dating life. When an invitation to yet another family wedding arrives, she decides to get everyone off her back once and for all by finding someone—anyone—to pose as her date. After a chance encounter with Reginald Cleaves, Amelia decides he's perfect for her purposes.
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Cute vampire romance
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What listeners say about When Life Gives You Vampires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Melissa
- 10-16-22
Maybe I’m too old..
To enjoy the slang used. Never do I ever want to hear “obvi” start a sentence again.
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- Trisha
- 09-27-23
Just, Yes
Overall I loved this book, I’m not sure it’s the type of book I’ll re-listen to but it’s a wonderful romp through a story I wish I had as a kid. I am fat, I’ve always been fat, and Lily is who I was, and sometimes still am, through my everyday life. The romance is good, that wasn’t the primary interest to me though. There was a lot of self reflection and realization from Lily that was a balm to my soul. She gets stuck in her head, she makes mistakes, and she spirals in ways I can relate to.
I do agree some of the slang is a little a excessive. I say ‘obvi’ too, but with Lily it’s a lot. Some of the dialogue does feel a little wooden and doesn’t make the most sense. I feel like the love interest doesn’t have a whole lot of personality. Attractive tragic backstory vampire who’s rigid in his ways and slowly learns to loose control. I wish we delved more into him.
Despite the flaws this story has a lot of heart. I binged it in a day and I can see the world building and a potential of sequels. I’ll definitely pick them up because I’m curious where it goes.
Also the narrator is phenomenal. I loved her in Touch of Darkness series and she brings it to the table here.
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- kate nicholson
- 03-11-24
Great easy read
Enjoyed reading this however one thing I didn’t like so much is the way main character would whine about her body / weight a lot felt that went on too much otherwise enjoyed it and some good characters
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- Erica
- 12-05-22
Fun Listen
I was looking for something different and light and this fit the bill. It’s a fun story with quick pacing and looks to be the start of more adventures to come.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-20-23
love the message, bored by the story
it is refreshing to read a story about a vampire that isn’t based on preying on young girls, and the way body positivity was brought into the story was well done and it’s very cool to see plus sized people represented in the vampire world. As far as the story, the conflict & resolution was boring. All talk, no real action. We’re talking about years of vampire law undone by two paragraphs.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-18-22
Fat girls, this will make you cry
****Here there be spoilers****
This book will do some things to your heart. If you grabbed this thinking, "Fat girl finds love." and stick to just that, it's fabulous. Very Fred the Vampire Accountant. Which I firmly believe is a literary masterpiece.
The other option, the one that got me, is it could leave you a blubbering mess. My fellow fat girls, there are parts that could hurt, be warned. Skinny girls, take notice, this is what we go through every single day, every single meal, and every single relationship. No joke, no hyperbole.
Some triggers: fat phobia, restrictive dieting, body insecurity, eating judgement, mother imposed restricted caloric intake at a young age, not believing your deserving of happiness, success or love because of your size.
I literally bawled all the way through chapters 11 to 13. I figured it out the second he said it to her. If faced with that devil's choice, I would have let the council kill me rather than be trapped in my body that I hate for eternity. There's no Tristan for most of us, no one to say we're beautiful, and no one to see beyond our bodies.
For most, it will be a fantastic story of a strong, talented, amazing woman living her best life regardless of the circumstances. It will be encouraging to see Lilly fight her demons and allow love in because, at the core, that is what the book is about. If you've made peace with yourself, you will love it. If you haven't or simply can't, like me, just be prepared from the start.
Due to this, the rest of the story, like the, incredibly wealthy, underwear model level, hot guy who's obsessed with her protection and self worth felt like some major pandering. It felt very, " Let people in and good things can happen." blah, blah, blah. That's not realistic and made it so I couldn't suspend my disbelief to enjoy it as much as a normal person would.
I love you and don't want you to feel these feels if you're not ready. I wish someone had told me.
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- Amanda
- 06-21-23
The idea was great, but the execution was horrible
The constant self sabotage was really getting old fast. Living in a plus size body you do experience issues with self esteem due to society and all the bs that comes with that. What is not a lived experience is others telling you that you are wrong for feeling the way you do in your body. I also felt the main female character was inconsistent. She could say eff off to her love interest but not speak up to her mother. The character and plot development was very weak… and noone uses the word obvi that often. It was a great idea for a story, love the representation but wish it was executed in a more thoughtful way. I would not recommend this book.
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