When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
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Narrated by:
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George Carlin
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By:
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George Carlin
About this listen
Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.
He also has a silly side:
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Good, but not like the stand-up
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George Carlin's 18th album. It was recorded simultaneously with the live broadcast of his 13th HBO special.
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classic
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Parental Advisory
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Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
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Nothing new here.
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A wonderful journey
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Dirty Daddy
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The Daily Show (the AudioBook)
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Critic reviews
- Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
- 2005 Quill Award Nominee
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"There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)
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At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Hardly Knew Her
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond, Francois Battiste
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Each of these ingenious tales is a gem, sometimes poignant, sometimes humorous, always filled with delightfully unanticipated twists and reversals. For people who have yet to listen to Lippman, get ready to experience the spellbinding power of "one of today's most pleasing storytellers" ( San Diego Union-Tribune). As for longtime devotees of her multiple award-winning novels, you'll discover that you hardly know her.
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I Love Laura Lippman
- By Joy on 07-15-11
By: Laura Lippman
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The Reason You're Alive
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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After 68-year-old David Granger crashes his BMW, medical tests reveal a brain tumor that he readily attributes to his wartime Agent Orange exposure. He wakes up from surgery repeating a name no one in his civilian life has ever heard - that of a Native American soldier whom he was once ordered to discipline. David decides to return something precious he long ago stole from the man he now calls Clayton Fire Bear.
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Kinda like Gran Torino..
- By H Harris on 06-02-18
By: Matthew Quick
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Last Words
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- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
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As one of America's preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary 50-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acer-bic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life.
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Outstanding insight... Well read
- By AskJoe.TV on 01-10-12
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George Carlin Reads to You
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If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- By Rick on 07-16-12
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Napalm & Silly Putty
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Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.
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Good, but not like the stand-up
- By Anonymous User on 10-10-21
By: George Carlin
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Brain Droppings
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
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Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.
New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.
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If you like the Carlin of late...
- By Rod A. on 12-12-11
By: George Carlin
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You Are All Diseased
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
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Carlin's riffs on religion and terrorism on this album are classic. He even tackles the timely topic of airport security. Nobody dissects untouchable subjects better than the nimble mind of George Carlin. Recorded for an HBO live broadcast stand-up special on February 6, 1999.
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another classic Carlin
- By RIP IT UP! on 11-10-17
By: George Carlin
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Parental Advisory
- Explicit Lyrics
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 53 mins
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Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
- By BusDriverNYC on 03-23-19
By: George Carlin
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Last Words
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: Tony Hendra, Patrick Carlin
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
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Overall
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As one of America's preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary 50-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acer-bic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life.
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Outstanding insight... Well read
- By AskJoe.TV on 01-10-12
By: George Carlin
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George Carlin Reads to You
- An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
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Overall
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If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- By Rick on 07-16-12
By: George Carlin
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Napalm & Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.
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Good, but not like the stand-up
- By Anonymous User on 10-10-21
By: George Carlin
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Brain Droppings
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Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
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If you like the Carlin of late...
- By Rod A. on 12-12-11
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Carlin's riffs on religion and terrorism on this album are classic. He even tackles the timely topic of airport security. Nobody dissects untouchable subjects better than the nimble mind of George Carlin. Recorded for an HBO live broadcast stand-up special on February 6, 1999.
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another classic Carlin
- By RIP IT UP! on 11-10-17
By: George Carlin
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Parental Advisory
- Explicit Lyrics
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 53 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
- By BusDriverNYC on 03-23-19
By: George Carlin
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A Place for My Stuff!
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 51 mins
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Classic Carlin all the way. His eighth comedy album after a five year break. Unlike earlier releases, A Place For My Stuff contains a number of studio tracks in addition to live performances, and he pokes fun at the format and candor of community radio, commercials, and television with aplomb.
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Comdedy Classic
- By Jill on 06-27-08
By: George Carlin
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Class Clown
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 48 mins
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Comedian George Carlin's definitive monologue was delivered on this 1972 album, his third, in the form of Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television. The FCC and Supreme Court held the routine as the epitome of tastelessness, threatening to yank the license of any station that dare play it over public airwaves. So you know it has to be funny. Buy it today and shock your parents!
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Top 5 comedy album of all time
- By Kent on 06-24-08
By: George Carlin
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Life Is Worth Losing
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
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George Carlin's 18th album. It was recorded simultaneously with the live broadcast of his 13th HBO special.
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classic
- By Brad on 02-13-09
By: George Carlin
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Complaints & Grievances
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 54 mins
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If you missed the HBO special, it's all here and it's all hysterical. George goes off on every subject under the sun and a few other planets too. Be the first one on your cell block to buy this great performance.
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Funny
- By M on 02-21-17
By: George Carlin
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More Napalm and Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
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A companion to the best selling Napalm and Silly Putty, George Carlin's More Napalm and Silly Putty picks up where the original left off, with more laser-sharp observations, tough questions, philosophical musings, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness in these unabridged excerpts from the thinking man's comic - and three-time Grammy winner!
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Entry-Level Carlin
- By Charles Elmore on 12-23-03
By: George Carlin
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On the Road
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- Length: 46 mins
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Here's George Carlin's seventh comedy album. Recorded live on October 3, 1976, at the Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles, California. This was Carlin's last album for five years.
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George Carlin great
- By Steve on 11-29-21
By: George Carlin
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Classic Gold
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
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This set contains three of George Carlin's classic albums from the 1970s in their entirety: FM & AM, Class Clown, and Occupation Foole.
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Don't listen and drive
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-12
By: George Carlin
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A Carlin Home Companion
- Growing Up with George
- By: Kelly Carlin
- Narrated by: Kelly Carlin
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Truly the voice of a generation, George Carlin gave the world some of the most hysterical and iconic comedy routines of the last 50 years. He perfected the art of making audiences double over with laughter while simultaneously making people wake up to the realities (and insanities) of life in the 20th century. Few people glimpsed the inner life of this beloved comedian, but his only child, Kelly, was there to see it all.
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A wonderful journey
- By Christopher on 09-18-15
By: Kelly Carlin
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Occupation
- Foole
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
- Original Recording
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What clever insights about growing up on the Upper West Side of New York City in the 1950s! Everything from gang culture to school life! This is George Carlin's fourth album. It was recorded on March 2 and 3, 1973, at the Circle Star Theater in San Carlos, California.
By: George Carlin
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Back in Town
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
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George Carlin's ninth HBO special, it was recorded in 1996 at the Beacon Theater in New York City, his first of many performances there. Carlin said it featured the best writing and performing he'd done in 36 years.
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George Carlin is Irreplaceable!
- By Tracy P. on 07-24-18
By: George Carlin
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Jammin' in New York
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 56 mins
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George Carlin's eighth HBO special, taped on April 24 and 25, 1992, at the Paramount Theater, on the grounds of Madison Square Garden in New York City. Topics include the recently ended Persian Gulf War, similarities and differences among average Americans, language used at airports and more.
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Nothing new here.
- By J. Miller on 03-06-13
By: George Carlin
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What Am I Doing in New Jersey?
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
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Here's George Carlin's 11th comedy album, recorded at the Park Theater in Union City, New Jersey, for an HBO special.
By: George Carlin
What listeners say about When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Charles V Peoples
- 04-27-20
One of the Greatest!
deviously funny...George Carlin has a style all his own...I loved his performances, and his books...
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- Matthew
- 08-04-16
Here's the thing....
George Carlin is one of my heroes. This is mostly about politically correct speech and euphemisms. But it's not funny unless you realize that Carlin has complete contempt for the publisher, the listener, and society at large. It's a big middle finger to whoever insisted he was contracted to write a book. And that's why I love it. By no means Carlin's best, in fact it's kind of over-the-top unfunny. But my theory is that that was his intention. So, keeping that in mind (and I concede I could be wrong), you'll enjoy it more.
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- Laurie
- 03-20-16
Vintage Carlin
There are parts of this book that are just hysterical, and other parts that are, quite frankly, a little disturbing. But that's George Carlin. I enjoyed it, but I think I've gotten my fill of him for a while.
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- Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
- 02-23-17
Excellent, But Derivitive Of Earlier Works
Carlin at his best, but if you already have "George Carlin Reads To You" you've already heard all the best bits. If you are trying to choose between the two, get this one, but if you have one, you don't need the other.
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- Donna
- 07-02-12
George at his best
Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?
No, he said it all the first read.
Who was your favorite character and why?
George, of course.
Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Yes. It's as entertaining and thought provoking as all of his work is.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Several.
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- Dakota
- 10-01-19
What do you want me to say? Its George Carlin.
You will get exactly what your looking for, if your looking for George Carlin.
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Overall
- Bambi
- 11-20-04
Very Brave, the truth about life today........
I love to laugh instead of getting angry about the latest things that Some very "bigoted people" think is majority thinking.... Mr. Carlin is great for placing in ones mind visual truths about everyday living. He says it like it is and is very entertaining while sharing his thoughts..Loved the book and recomend reading it before passing judgement....It is not about politics or religion .. SEEMS TO ME LIKE IT IS ABOUT LAUGHING, .. INSTEAD OF CRYING, ABOUT Life today...
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10 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Craig Gardner
- 02-21-09
Prolific Hystericalness
This book contains a few of Carlin's known bits used mainly in the late 90's and 00's HBO concerts, but it also contains a plethora of previously "unperformed" material. The fact that Carlin reads this himself is important as he adds his own personal flare to his material. There are some pieces which left me with sore sides from the laughter.
Carlin's command and use (or usage) of the English language is sublime. Indeed, there are numerous related pieces about euphemisms, going for more in-depth than any of his concert material had ever done. His clever wit and repartee is released and unbounded in this performance.
If you disapprove of profanity, than Carlin is not an artist you would appreciate, as he sometimes uses profanity the way Van Gogh used bush, paint, and canvas. And, I imagine some of this is "B material" as it didn't make the cut for his stand up concerts. Or perhaps he didn't have enough time to perform these bits, as there is probably six hours of previously unperformed material.
If you are a Carlin fan, you'll want to get this performance. Jesus/Pork Chops is an important capstone to his lengthy, prolific and influential career. Though not his last recording or performance, it certainly contains hours of previously unreleased material, that is mostly of as high a quality as the material from his albums and HBO concerts.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Erik Stearns
- 07-08-18
A laugh a monute.
This guy is really awesome. I'm going to have to read this again. I laughed so hard at some of the material I haven't heard in a very long time.
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- Tammy
- 02-21-12
I miss George!
Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?
I would and I have. I just love George Carlins view on everything.
Would you recommend When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to your friends? Why or why not?
Yes and no. If my friends were religious, they may take offense.
Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No I have not, just his stand up comedy on TV and that is very similar
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No, I just like to listen when I need a laugh.
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