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Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)
- Narrated by: Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
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Publisher's summary
Dirty little secrets.... Every movie and TV star has one. So does every agent and manager. Some producers and studio execs have two or even three. I'm talking about an assistant. Someone to answer your phones, pick up your dry cleaning. Someone to hide your drugs. Your assistant knows what you eat, who you're sleeping with, and what medications you're taking. They listen in on your phone calls. They are the eyes and ears of Hollywood...and occasionally they talk.
Culled from dozens of interviews with former and current Hollywood assistants, Where's My F*cking Latte is a no-holds-barred insider's look at what really goes on behind Tinseltown's closed doors.
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Four bodies, each with a single bullet wound in the back of the head, stacked like cordwood in a weed-choked vacant lot: That's the front-page news facing Carter Ross, investigative reporter with the Newark Eagle-Examiner. Immediately dispatched to the scene, Carter learns that the four victims - an exotic dancer, a drug dealer, a hustler, and a mama's boy - came from different parts of the city and didn't seem to know one another.
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Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
- By shelley on 02-16-18
By: Brad Parks
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In the Country We Love
- My Family Divided
- By: Diane Guerrero, Michelle Burford
- Narrated by: Diane Guerrero
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Diane Guerrero, the television actress from the megahit Orange Is the New Black and Jane the Virgin, was just 14 years old on the day her parents were detained and deported while she was at school. Born in the US, Guerrero was able to remain in the country and continue her education, depending on the kindness of family friends who took her in and helped her build a life and a successful acting career for herself, without the support system of her family.
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Moves very slowly
- By Laura S. on 07-23-16
By: Diane Guerrero, and others
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
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Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!
- By: Tom Bergeron
- Narrated by: Tom Bergeron
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In I'm Hosting as Fast as I Can!, Tom elaborates on the process by which he is able to sit calmly and patiently, without being distracted, at any time, no matter how hectic, as well as respond quickly (and hilariously) when Marie Osmond faints at his feet on live TV. Haven't seen it? Check it out on YouTube. The man is always in control.
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A wonderful "read"
- By Chrys on 04-29-09
By: Tom Bergeron
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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What's So Funny?
- My Hilarious Life
- By: Tim Conway, Jane Scovell, Carol Burnett - foreword
- Narrated by: Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Dick Hill, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Six-time Emmy Award-winning funnyman Tim Conway, best known for his characters on The Carol Burnett Show, offers a straight-shooting and hilarious memoir about his life on stage and off as an actor and comedian. In television history, few entertainers have captured as many hearts and made as many people laugh as Tim Conway. There's nothing in the world that Tim Conway would rather do than entertain - and in his first-ever memoir, What's So Funny?, that's exactly what he does.
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Not narrated by Tim
- By Bob Murdock on 05-05-14
By: Tim Conway, and others
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Conversations with My Agent (and Set Up, Joke, Set Up, Joke)
- By: Rob Long
- Narrated by: Rob Long
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Barely out of film school, Rob Long struck the jackpot and landed a job on the phenomenally successful TV sitcom Cheers. However, with the demise of the show, Long was faced with the question, "Is there life after Cheers?" Mercilessly witty about the daunting process of setting up a new series and getting it on air, these two audiobooks tell the absurd tale of what came next.
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The writers should run the business
- By Charles on 04-21-23
By: Rob Long
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
What listeners say about Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Steffi
- 03-26-13
Terrible Narration, funny stories
Would you be willing to try another one of Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s performances?
No, I didn't like his voice. He did a good job writing the book and putting together the stories, but a different narrator should have been chosen.
Do you think Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood) needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
I'd like to see a follow-up, since the stories were quite amusing. But definitely not narrated by Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff.
Any additional comments?
The narration was terrible! I couldn't tell where one story ended and the new one started. There was no pause in between chapters. Very confusing.
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- PTHB
- 07-23-12
Weak
Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?
This book was a tease for juicy and titillating pop culture inside dirt. Sure we can guess who the celebs are, but clearly the author didn't want to spill too much so he can still work in the business. Barely kept me awake on a long drive.....
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3 people found this helpful
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- Joyce
- 09-24-12
IN YOUR FACE Narration
Though I did enjoy the sordid and crazy tales that some assistants were willing to share, I found myself wishing for more. The stories are told well enough that it's night on impossible to figure out whom the stories might apply to. They are also surprising enough that you may feel slightly disgusted, but hey - it's Hollywood.
I found Nemcoff's narration a little in your face. If it's possible, I'd say he YELLED the entire time - but I am sure it's down to the listener's interpretation. The only part I found slightly annoying was the lack of pause between stories.
Nary a second between one story to the next, if your ears blink, you will miss the end of one story and wonder how you ended up with a literary agent's sordid tale when you started with the skeleton of a promising young director.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jeanie B.
- 05-21-15
It was ok
They should have had a female read the female parts. The narrator sounded like an annoying talk show host not a narrator. Interesting stories though.
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- Erica
- 09-25-12
dissappointing
Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?
no, his voice is not nice to listen too
What was most disappointing about Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s story?
you could never tell if the story was from a man or woman's point of view. The voices he used were really annoying and his inflections sometimes made no sense. I found myself wanting the book to end a lot.
Would you be willing to try another one of Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s performances?
no
What character would you cut from Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)?
none in particular. they were all relatively the same. The stories weren't funny as much as repulsive. Nothing was overly unexpected
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1 person found this helpful
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- Joseph A Smith
- 08-27-12
Don't waste your time.
Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?
Absolutely not. He seems obnoxious.
What was most disappointing about Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s story?
Boreing. Nothing really revealed.
How could the performance have been better?
A better performer.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
disappointment
Any additional comments?
A waste of time and money.
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- Sean J. Stanley
- 09-11-13
Failed actor auditions with every chapter...
Oh no. What should have been a fun read (and it was fun when I read the preview pages to myself on Amazon) was a nightmare of overwrought "acting". Nemcoff is yet another Hollywood hack who decided a stunt book like this was his ticket to making rent. The content, culled from personal anonymous PA stories is not that bad. Sanitized and anonymized, but interesting. Unfortunately, his delivery comes off as a clumsy "Reading Rainbow" impersonation , as if the audience were children, intoning emotion and emphasis seemingly at random, with no value added to the tales. But don't take my word for it...
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2 people found this helpful