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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
- Narrated by: Johnny Kansas, Stephanie Stehling, Heather McDonald, Roy Handler, Brad Wollack, Amber Mazzola, Josh Wolf, Soshanna Handler, Eva Magdalenski, Amy Meyer
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
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Publisher's summary
—Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Fairy Tale Interrupted
- A Memoir of Life, Love, and Loss
- By: RoseMarie Terenzio
- Narrated by: RoseMarie Terenzio
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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To everyone else, John F. Kennedy Jr. may have been American royalty, but to RoseMarie Terenzio, he was an entitled nuisance—and she wasn’t afraid to let him know it. RoseMarie was his personal assistant, his publicist, and one of his closest confidantes during the last five years of his life. In this, her first memoir, she bravely recounts her own fairy tale interrupted, describing the unlikely friendship between a blue-collar girl from the Bronx and John F. Kennedy Jr.
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Mediocre read
- By Rachel on 05-28-12
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Troublemaker
- Surviving Hollywood and Scientology
- By: Leah Remini
- Narrated by: Leah Remini
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The outspoken actress, talk show host, and reality television star offers up a no-holds-barred memoir, including an eye-opening insider account of her tumultuous and heart-wrenching 30-year-plus association with the Church of Scientology.
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
- By Kim on 11-04-15
By: Leah Remini
What listeners say about Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Natalie
- 06-09-11
Laugh Out Loud Funny
This book was definitely laugh out loud funny! I can't believe some of the pranks Chelsea has played on her friends. Like the book says though, if she isn't pranking you, she doesn't care about you. Knowing that, if Chelsea ever played a prank on me I can only assume I would feel honored.
I WISH Chelsea had read her own parts of the book...I think it would have been funnier to hear her take on each of the other narrator's stories directly from her.
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- BarbieDoll76
- 11-11-21
Hilarious but mean spirited
Chelsea Handler is hilarious. The stories about her are funny. But the word “retard” was used by every single person telling a chapter with one exception (props to Heather MacDonald for being funny without that). Just all came off a bit mean spirited. I laughed but ended the book grateful I don’t have a “friend” like her. She seems to really get her kicks by doing mean things to her friends that take jokes too far. Ruining honeymoons? It’s too much. In my humble opinion. But, yeah, I laughed.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-03-16
Brad Wollack is an asshole
Why would anyone marry that neurotic jackass?! His wife sounds like a normal person so is this the longest running lie that's been forgotten? Who ends a honeymoon early when he should be grateful he got to experience one at all! What an idiot. I think it would be amazing to be a member of CHs' pack. This is a great book!!!
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- Brittan
- 02-16-23
Eh
Didn’t age well. Lots of stuff that would not fly these days. It’s a bit cringe
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- John
- 05-11-15
Almost unbelievable.
Great read. Although parts of narrative are obviously enhanced, l suppose that is literary license.
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- Dana
- 12-28-11
Chelsea Handler lies that chelsea handler told me
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
Alittle.
How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?
If Chelsea read it herself. It sounded to scripted, and chelsea is alot funnier telling her story.
Would you be willing to try another one of the narrators’s performances?
yes
Was Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me worth the listening time?
not really
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- Thom Pierson
- 05-27-15
Book not read by Chelsea
Great stories but no one can tell her stories like Chelsea. While funny it misses the mark in a few occasions
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- Angela
- 01-08-13
I loved it... but I "get" the humor.
Would you listen to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me again? Why?
I listened to this without first reading other reviews, because Chelsea Handler makes me laugh on a nightly basis. Now reading them, I don't understand other reviewers saying, "I love her, but reading this makes me realize that she's cruel/immature/mean..." Have you never seen her?
I think most people don't have friendships that are so obnoxiously immature on the outside. I think that's why they don't "get it." My core group of friends/family say and do crazy things to each other constantly in order to get a laugh. If you sat in a room with my best friend and I, you'd think we hated each other by the way we talk sometimes. However, the people in my world would do ANYTHING for me, and I for them. There isn't one person in this book that doesn't say that very thing about her.
If you don't get why people do obnoxious things to their friends, this book isn't for you... but then again, I don't know why you'd read it in the first place. If you can watch Chelsea Handler's show and not get that she's obnoxious and bitchy, you're missing something. This book answers the question, "I wonder how bitchy she really can be," answer being, "A LOT." It's college frat boy humor... she's a jackass boy with breasts.
I thought this book was funnier than VODKA... I actually didn't like that one at all. Having said that, I didn't think every narrator was great, but I did like hearing each voice separately. I do think that Chelsea Handler should have narrated her own part. Hearing other voices, especially those you "know" (Heather McDonald, Josh Wolf, Roy Handler) makes it weird when someone is else is reading her part. There are also musical transitions separating each chapter that I thought were weird and out of place.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Martha McCarthy
- 05-14-14
Brilliant, such a good laugh would recommend it
Would you consider the audio edition of Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me to be better than the print version?
Yes, because it is read by the people who have experienced the stories themselves it makes it a lot funnier to hear
What other book might you compare Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me to and why?
other Chelsea Handler books
Which scene was your favorite?
the wedding scene with the Shania Twain performance
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
yes
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- Maracapozzi
- 04-17-19
Delightful
Captivating and funny for any Chelsea Handler fan. And if you aren’t one- you should be!
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