You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About
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Narrated by:
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Dave Barry
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and The New York Times best-selling author of Insane City.
In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he’s serious about that title: “When my daughter can legally commence dating - February 24, 2040 - I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased”) to funeral instructions (“I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner”), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father’s ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert (“It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers.")
Let’s face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!
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By: Jen Lancaster
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Lost Memory of Skin
- By: Russell Banks
- Narrated by: Scott Shepherd
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Suspended in a strangely modern-day version of limbo, the young man at the center of Russell Banks’s uncompromising and morally complex new novel must create a life for himself in the wake of incarceration. Known in his new identity only as the Kid, and on probation after doing time for a liaison with an underage girl, he is shackled to a GPS monitoring device and forbidden to live within 2,500 feet of anywhere children might gather. With nowhere else to go, the Kid takes up residence under a south Florida causeway, in a makeshift encampment with other convicted sex offenders.
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Amazing "Must Read" Tale of (In)Justice in America
- By Ellen H. Anderson on 10-15-11
By: Russell Banks
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Lost on Planet China
- By: J. Maarten Troost
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When the travel bug bit, J. Maarten Troost took on the world's most populous and intriguing nation. As Troost relates his gonzo adventure - dodging deadly drivers in Shanghai, eating yak in Tibet, deciphering restaurant menus (offering local favorites such as cattle penis with garlic), and visiting with Chairman Mao (still dead) - he reveals a vast, complex country on the brink of transformation that will soon shape the way we all work, live, and think.
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I love Troost but...
- By Abigail on 02-25-09
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Maphead
- Charting the Wide, Weird World of Geography Wonks
- By: Ken Jennings
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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It comes as no surprise that, as a kid, Jeopardy! legend Ken Jennings slept with a bulky Hammond world atlas by his pillow every night. Maphead recounts his lifelong love affair with geography and explores why maps have always been so fascinating to him and to fellow enthusiasts everywhere.
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A Romp through Maps
- By Lynn on 01-27-12
By: Ken Jennings
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Wide-Open World
- How Volunteering Around the Globe Changed One Family's Lives Forever
- By: John Marshall
- Narrated by: John Marshall
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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John Marshall had read about the growth of voluntourism, and frankly, it was the only kind of extended trip he could afford. He'd heard that some peoples' lives were changed by a week of overseas service - what might half a year accomplish for his family? His wife, Traca, was all in favor of it; his kids, especially his 14-year-old daughter, were strongly opposed. Wide-Open World is the totally engaging, bluntly honest story of the Marshall family's life-changing adventure.
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I enjoyed every minute
- By Chris on 05-15-15
By: John Marshall
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The Broken Road
- By: Richard Paul Evans
- Narrated by: Richard Paul Evans
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Celebrity Charles James can't shake the nightmare that wakes him each night. He sees himself walking down a long, broken highway, the sides of which are lit in flames. Where is he going? Why is he walking? What is the wailing he hears around him? By day he wonders why he's so haunted and unhappy when he has all he ever wanted - fame, fans, and fortune and the lavish lifestyle it affords him. Coming from a childhood of poverty and pain, this is what he's dreamed of. But now, at the pinnacle of his career, he's started to wonder if he's wanted the wrong things.
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Unresolved.
- By Ann Owen on 05-14-17
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I'll Mature When I'm Dead
- Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process - with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
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Not all greatest hits, but so many gems
- By green ice cream garden on 01-20-15
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter, Arte Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
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sooo funny !!
- By Anonymous User on 07-12-24
By: Dave Barry
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Swamp Story
- A Novel
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
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Don’t waste your credit
- By Cat Mom on 05-13-23
By: Dave Barry
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry's Money Secrets
- Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing a book about how to understand money. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: How the U.S. economy works, including the often-overlooked role of Adam Sandler, Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money, Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are, let's be honest, a no-talent loser.
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the narrator is horrible.
- By Barb on 06-28-19
By: Dave Barry
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Best. State. Ever.
- A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
By: Dave Barry
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I'll Mature When I'm Dead
- Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process - with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
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-
Not all greatest hits, but so many gems
- By green ice cream garden on 01-20-15
By: Dave Barry
-
Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter, Arte Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
-
-
sooo funny !!
- By Anonymous User on 07-12-24
By: Dave Barry
-
Swamp Story
- A Novel
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
-
-
Don’t waste your credit
- By Cat Mom on 05-13-23
By: Dave Barry
-
Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
-
-
Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
-
Dave Barry's Money Secrets
- Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing a book about how to understand money. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: How the U.S. economy works, including the often-overlooked role of Adam Sandler, Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money, Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are, let's be honest, a no-talent loser.
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the narrator is horrible.
- By Barb on 06-28-19
By: Dave Barry
-
Best. State. Ever.
- A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
By: Dave Barry
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Insane City
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him - and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable.
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Fun Story, needs a different narrator.
- By Mariah on 01-31-13
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry's History of the Millenium (So Far)
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Patrick Frederic
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Thucydides, Gibbon, Tuchman, McCullough: to the names of the world's great historians must now be added the name of Dave Barry, who has taken a long, hard look at our new millennium (so far) and, when he stopped hyperventilating, has written it all down, because nobody would believe it otherwise.
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Monotonous
- By Tony Jacobson on 10-22-08
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Following the best-selling success of Dave's novel, Big Trouble, here is a hilarious new collection of columns from the writer critics have called "the funniest man in America."
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Funny writing, awful narrator
- By Cody on 05-16-11
By: Dave Barry
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Claw Your Way to the Top
- How to Become the Head of a Major Corporation in Roughly a Week
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 2 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Sick of working your way to the top? America's most popular humorist, Dave Barry, shows you the alternate route, giving you tools to become the head of a major corporation in roughly a week. His surefire tips, from what shirt to wear to how to deal with pesky subordinates, will keep you laughing all the way up the corporate ladder.
By: Dave Barry
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Boogers Are My Beat
- More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: The scientific search for the world's funniest joke; RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot; outwitting "smart" kitchen appliances and service contracts; elections in Florida ("You can't spell Florida without 'duh'"); the Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating; and much, much more.
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Mark Twain of our time
- By Dana on 10-30-21
By: Dave Barry
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The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 1 hr and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The year is 1960, and, as it is every year, the Christmas pageant at St. John's Episcopal Church is a very big deal. Doug is a shepherd this year, which is better than being a "Three King", because, for one thing, you get to carry a stick.
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Funny But Dated
- By Marie on 12-24-06
By: Dave Barry
What listeners say about You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- green ice cream garden
- 06-26-14
It's been a long time Dave
It's been a long time since Dave Barry made me laugh out loud. He will always get a good smile from me, but at several points in this collection of essays I had to press pause just to laugh. Note, if you're into being PC and can't grasp hyperboles, move on.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Tiger
- 01-13-20
Overall Funny, Some Laugh Out Loud, Some to Skip
Overall I enjoyed this more than I thought. He doesn’t take much of a factual take on anything , but generally has relevant and sometimes laugh out loud perceptions. A had to skip a few essays that were really bad. But overall really enjoyed it.
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Overall
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- Melissa P.
- 05-25-21
Several good chuckles, fair pacing.
Performed by the author, but may have been better suited with a pro voice actor.
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- Debra Bunger
- 01-16-17
Not the Same
Dave is not the same. I also don't care for the fact that he left his beloved wife and married someone much younger. He was much funnier before his lifestyle change. Bottom line: he is not funny anymore.
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