I'll Mature When I'm Dead
Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood
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Narrated by:
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Dave Barry
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times best-seller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier - and a lot funnier.
Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process - with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!
©2010 Dave Barry (P)2010 PenguinListeners also enjoyed...
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
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Peter and the Starcatchers
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In an evocative and fast-paced adventure on the high seas and on a faraway island an orphan boy named Peter and his mysterious new friend, Molly, overcome bands of pirates and thieves in their quest to keep a fantastical secret safe and save the world from evil.
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A fast paced frolic on the high seas!
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Following the best-selling success of Dave's novel, Big Trouble, here is a hilarious new collection of columns from the writer critics have called "the funniest man in America."
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The Extravaganza of the Seas is a 5,000 ton cash cow, a top-heavy tub whose sole function is to carry gamblers three miles from the Florida coast, take their money, then bring them back so they can find more money.
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A warning
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Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
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The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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I laughed all the way through
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When Dave Barry writes funny, you write back. And when you write funny, Dave Barry talks back! Pulitzer Prize-winning author and columnist Dave Barry gets more response from readers than any other writer in the United States. And now the absolute best of Dave Barry is available, complete with those items sent in by Dave's legion of Alert Readers all across the country. But Dave Barry doesn't only talk back to readers. He talks back to traffic cops, dentists, doctors, Congress, and his very dumb dogs.
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If you haven’t read this classic, your life is incomplete.
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Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway
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I Love everything Dave Barry, BUT...
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Mark Twain of our time
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Dad Is Fat
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In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
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- Unabridged
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Sarah Vowell travels through the American past and investigates the dusty, bumpy roads of her own life. Her essays confront a wide range of subjects, icons, and historical moments: Ike, Teddy Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton; Canadian Mounties and German Filmmakers; Tom Cruise and Buffy the Vampire Slayer; twins and nerds; the Gettysburg Address, the State of the Union, and George W. Bush's inauguration. The result is an engrossing audiobook, capturing Vowell's memorable wit and her keen social commentary.
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One of the best surprises on AUDIBLE.COM!!
- By Doggy Bird on 04-14-04
By: Sarah Vowell
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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The Humor Code
- A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny
- By: Peter McGraw, Joel Warner
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Peter McGraw, founder of the Humor Research Lab at the University of Colorado Boulder, teamed up with journalist Joel Warner on a far-reaching search for the secret behind humor. Their journey spanned the globe, from New York to Japan, from Palestine to the Amazon. Meanwhile, the duo conducted their own humor experiments along the way-to wince-worthy, hilarious, and illuminating results.
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Real research and a scientific theory of humor!
- By Dianne on 05-22-15
By: Peter McGraw, and others
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Faces of the Gone
- Carter Ross, Book 1
- By: Brad Parks
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Four bodies, each with a single bullet wound in the back of the head, stacked like cordwood in a weed-choked vacant lot: That's the front-page news facing Carter Ross, investigative reporter with the Newark Eagle-Examiner. Immediately dispatched to the scene, Carter learns that the four victims - an exotic dancer, a drug dealer, a hustler, and a mama's boy - came from different parts of the city and didn't seem to know one another.
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Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
- By shelley on 02-16-18
By: Brad Parks
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
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Killed at the Whim of a Hat
- By: Colin Cotterill
- Narrated by: Jeany Park
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Jimm Juree was a crime reporter for the Chiang Mai Daily Mail with a somewhat eccentric family. When she is forced to follow her family to a rural village on the coast of Southern Thailand, she’s convinced her career—maybe her life—is over. So when a van containing the skeletal remains of two hippies is inexplicably unearthed in a local farmer’s field, Jimm is thrilled. Shortly thereafter an abbot at a local Buddhist temple is viciously murdered.
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delighted...
- By Bobbie on 08-23-11
By: Colin Cotterill
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The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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I laughed all the way through
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What listeners say about I'll Mature When I'm Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- R. Davis
- 03-19-13
Hysterical and thoroughly entertaining.
Dave Barry is a genius. Listening to this on public transportation is risky. People will stare as you become hysterical and giggly. It's a great testament that I was willing to endure the looks of distain as I rode to and from work. It's that good.
Enough said.
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- Jane
- 03-30-14
4 ½ stars. Fun. This guy is really good.
I laughed a lot. Humorous essays on a variety of topics. Most of them were funny. But a few less so. The weakest ones for me were the one about writing a screenplay and Dave’s retelling of “Twilight” the famous teenage vampire story. It was funny at first, but he could have stopped after the first third or so. It became repetitive.
The author did a great job of narrating the audiobook. Good timing with pauses. I didn’t have to keep stopping the tape the way I did with Woody Allen.
Genre: humorous essays
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- Linda
- 10-22-12
Dave Barry Cracks Me Up!
I have enjoyed every Dave Barry article and book I have ever read. This was no exception. The understated humor is great. Many real belly laughs in this one.
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Overall
- K. McRitchie
- 01-16-11
It will brighten your day
A collection of various observances on every day life that will make you smile. It is light, funny, and a great listen when you need something to brighten your day. I would listen for awhile, then put it away for awhile, then listen again, it was great. Dave talks about the every-day things that we don't really think about in a new light.
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- green ice cream garden
- 01-20-15
Not all greatest hits, but so many gems
I think I said it all with the subject line. Not all of these essays are hilarious but more than enough will have you laughing out loud. Dave Barry is always worth the credit.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Frances
- 09-07-18
A good listen, could be slightly improved.
Made fun of classic middle class conditioning concerning manhood and dadhood. I enjoyed listening, especially about his colonoscopy! I can't help but think I would have laughed more out loud had I been reading it to myself in its original format. Audibly, it would have been much funnier if delivered out loud by a professional comidian who has more dynamic inflection to bring out the more humerous points.
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Overall
- R. Sippel
- 06-02-10
If Dave Barry makes you laugh
Typical Dave Barry humor, and I'm with Dave on this one, I don't care how old you are farts are funny. Just enjoy and laugh!
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Overall
- Dan
- 06-09-10
Typical Dave Barry Humor
This is a funny book, but I don't recommend listening to it while working out at the health club...people will wonder what you're laughing at!
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Overall
- chris
- 08-17-10
Heeelarious
Laugh out loud funny throughout. A little more acerbic than his newspaper column, and more creative. His spoofs on modern TV and vampire novels were the standout for me. I will be reading this again, and again.
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Overall
- Mrs. Joe
- 01-08-11
Hilarious
If you enjoy reading Dave Barry, you will absolutely love listening to him read you his work. Even those who are not typically Barry fans will find things to laugh about in this book. I have played several of the essays for others I knew would enjoy them. The Twilight spoof had me actually in tears I was laughing so hard. Even when Barry takes on a serious topic like his brother's cancer, you will still find yourself laughing, entertained and nodding in agreement.
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2 people found this helpful