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Behind The Smile by John Sternfels and Melissa Roberts is a real-life story of how one of John's clients, Melissa Roberts, overcame the horrors of being abused, traumatized, and sexually betrayed. As a result, Melissa experienced many psychological complexities, often behind a facade of happiness.

The book is designed to offer readers a deeper understanding of the disconnect between the external image people project and their internal realities.

Sternfels and Roberts guide readers on a journey to uncover the truth behind their own smiles, encouraging them to confront unresolved emotions and heal from past wounds. Together they provide practical tools and strategies for fostering authenticity in relationships, building trust, and achieving genuine emotional intimacy.

Behind The Smile is not just a book for those struggling with personal issues; it’s also a valuable resource for therapists, counselors, and anyone interested in understanding the deeper aspects of human behavior and emotional health. Sternfels and Roberts's empathetic approach and clear, accessible writing make this book a transformative guide for anyone seeking to live a more authentic and fulfilled life.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels examines the complexities of gender identity and gender dysphoria in children and adolescents. John discusses from a Christian perspective, how to discuss this complex topic with children in a sensitive and informed manner.

Talking to children who struggle with gender identity and gender dysphoria challenges requires sensitivity, openness, and support. By approaching the conversation with empathy, respect, and a willingness to understand, parents can play a crucial role in supporting their children through their gender identity journey.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

A Comprehensive Examination of Mental Health

Introduction
Mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. It affects daily functioning, relationships, and physical health. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness but also involves the presence of positive characteristics such as resilience, self-esteem, and the ability to manage stress.

Historical Context
Historically, mental health has been misunderstood and stigmatized. Early civilizations often attributed mental disorders to supernatural forces, leading to inhumane treatments. The 19th and 20th centuries saw the emergence of more scientific approaches, with the development of psychiatry and psychology as distinct fields. The deinstitutionalization movement of the mid-20th century aimed to improve care by closing large psychiatric hospitals and emphasizing community-based services.

Current Understanding
Today, mental health is recognized as a critical aspect of overall health. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of well-being where individuals realize their abilities, cope with normal life stresses, work productively, and contribute to their community.

Challenges and Barriers
Despite advances in understanding and treatment, several challenges remain:

• Stigma: Societal stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can negatively affect their self-esteem and recovery.
• Access to Care: There is a significant disparity in the availability of mental health services, particularly in low-income and rural areas.
• Integration with General Healthcare: Mental health care is often siloed from general health care, despite the interconnection between mental and physical health.

Future Directions
The future of mental health care lies in integrated, personalized approaches. Advances in neuroscience and genetics hold promise for more targeted treatments. Public health initiatives must focus on reducing stigma, improving access to care, and promoting mental health literacy. Additionally, technology, including telemedicine and digital mental health tools, can expand access to services and support.

Meditation for Mental Self-Care
Meditation is a powerful tool for mental self-care, promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and enhancing overall well-being. By incorporating meditation into daily routines, individuals can foster a greater sense of peace and mental clarity.

Meditation is a valuable practice for mental self-care, offering numerous benefits for emotional health, stress reduction, and overall well-being. By incorporating various meditation techniques into daily routines, individuals can cultivate a more mindful, peaceful, and resilient mindset.

Conclusion
Mental health is a vital component of overall well-being, influencing all aspects of life. Understanding its complexities and addressing the challenges associated with mental health disorders requires a comprehensive, compassionate approach.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this episode, I will dive into the core of human connection, exploring the transformative power of understanding, compassion, and shared emotions through empathy.

Empathy, often hailed as the glue that binds us together, is more than just a buzzword. It's the force that bridges gaps, dismantles barriers, and fosters a sense of unity in an ever-evolving world.

Join me as I help navigate the nuances of empathy, discussing its impact on personal growth, mental well-being, and the broader social fabric. I will help shed light on how empathy serves as a catalyst for positive change.

From the workplace to our personal lives, empathy emerges as a guiding light, prompting us to see beyond ourselves and embrace the diverse narratives that make up our shared human experience. Together, let's explore practical ways to cultivate empathy in our daily lives and make a lasting difference in the lives of those around us.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses the topic of fear. Fear, an emotion deeply embedded in the human experience, has been a subject of fascination, analysis, and debate throughout history. As a multifaceted phenomenon, fear touches upon various aspects of our lives, influencing our decisions, shaping our perceptions, and even steering the course of societies.

Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is not merely an exploration of an emotion but an invitation to unravel the intricate layers that compose this complex terrain.

At its core, fear is a primal and adaptive response that has evolved to ensure survival. It manifests in diverse forms, ranging from instinctual fears like the fear of danger or predators to more complex, nuanced fears such as existential anxieties and societal phobias. In essence, fear acts as a powerful force that permeates our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions.

Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is an exploration that transcends the boundaries of individual emotions, reaching into the realms of psychology, culture, society, and personal development. By engaging in thoughtful conversations about fear, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and societal introspection, fostering empathy and understanding and perhaps uncovering the key to unlocking the potential for growth and transformation.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Toxic shame. Toxic shame is a pervasive and enduring form of shame that can significantly impact one's quality of life. It is consciously transferred by means of shaming rules and can be deeply ingrained in one's sense of self, leading to constant exposure of the failure of the self to the self.

Toxic shame is often driven by the fear of being exposed or rejected, leading individuals to develop perfectionistic tendencies as a defense mechanism to mask their insecurities and feelings of unworthiness.

This can manifest as a relentless inner critic, difficulty in establishing boundaries, and a constant pursuit of perfection to avoid potential rejection.

The interconnection between toxic shame and perfectionism lies in the individual's efforts to cope with and conceal their deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness through the pursuit of unattainable standards and the fear of being exposed or rejected.

To help overcome toxic shame and perfectionism, it is important to recognize and address the underlying emotional and psychological factors.

Here are some strategies that can help:

Overcoming Toxic Shame:

1. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and challenge shame-based thoughts. Recognize that you are not defined by past mistakes or shortcomings.
2. Therapy: Consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore and heal from toxic shame.
3. Establishing Boundaries: Work on setting healthy boundaries and asserting your needs to avoid potential rejection.
4. Coping Techniques: Learn and practice coping techniques to reframe emotions associated with shame. This may include mindfulness, self-care, and positive self-talk.

Overcoming Perfectionism:

1. Redefine Success: Shift the focus from unattainable perfection to personal growth and learning from mistakes.
2. Embrace Vulnerability: Recognize that vulnerability is a strength and allows for genuine connections with others.
3. Seeking Support: Engage in open conversations with trusted individuals about your struggles with perfectionism. This can help you gain perspective and support.
4. Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking: Practice challenging black-and-white thinking patterns and embrace the concept of progress over perfection.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Marriage, Now What? Marriage, Now What? encapsulates the sentiment many couples experience after the initial excitement of marriage settles. It's a reflective phase where partners may ponder the direction of their relationship. This question invites couples to embrace the evolving nature of their union and actively shape its trajectory.

In this phase, couples can explore shared goals, set new aspirations, and deepen their connection through effective communication. It's an opportunity to assess individual and collective growth, adapting to life's changes. Date nights, open conversations, and continued emotional and physical intimacy play pivotal roles in sustaining a vibrant and fulfilling marriage.

Financial planning, shared responsibilities, and a commitment to mutual support contribute to the stability of the partnership. Celebrating milestones and expressing gratitude become habits that reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship. Couples may embark on new adventures, encouraging each other to pursue dreams and aspirations.

Navigating conflicts with resilience and finding constructive solutions become essential skills. This phase encourages couples to renew their commitment, fostering a sense of dedication and love. Ultimately, "Marriage, Now What?" is an invitation to actively shape and invest in the ongoing journey of shared growth, creating a resilient and enduring foundation for a lasting and meaningful marriage.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)

Send us a text

In this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses children and social media. Children and social media have become inseparable in today's digital age. As technology advances, more kids are gaining access to various social media platforms at increasingly younger ages. While social media offers opportunities for communication, creativity, and learning, it also raises concerns about the potential risks and impacts on children's well-being.

On the positive side, social media can enhance children's social skills by allowing them to connect with peers, share experiences, and express themselves creatively. It can also serve as a valuable educational tool, providing access to a wealth of information and resources.

However, the downside involves potential exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and privacy issues. Children may encounter harmful material or engage in risky behaviors online. Moreover, the addictive nature of social media can contribute to issues such as sleep disturbances and a negative impact on mental health.

Parents, caregivers, and grandparents play a crucial role in managing children's social media usage. Establishing age-appropriate guidelines, discussing online safety, and monitoring online activities are essential steps to ensure a healthy relationship between children and social media. Education about responsible online behavior, critical thinking, and digital literacy is key in empowering children to navigate the digital world safely.

In summary, integrating children and social media comes with benefits and challenges. Striking a balance between leveraging the positive aspects and mitigating potential risks requires active involvement from parents, educators, and the broader community to promote a healthy and safe online environment for children.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:
A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal.
DOWNLOAD for Parents (available late 2024)