In PBSE Episode 280, Mark & Steve address the complex challenge faced by betrayed partners—especially those healing from porn or sex addiction in their relationships—who want to guide their teenage children toward healthy sexuality. It begins by acknowledging the emotional burden and conflict many betrayed partners feel, especially when trying to teach their children something they themselves are still struggling to reclaim. Drawing from a listener’s heartfelt question, the hosts emphasize that children are already receiving sexual messaging from the world around them, making it crucial that parents step up to provide a healthy, grounded counter-narrative rooted in respect, consent, and emotional connection.

The article challenges the outdated concept of “the talk” by promoting a new paradigm: sexuality should be an ongoing, evolving, and age-appropriate conversation that unfolds over years, not moments. Parents are encouraged to reflect on their own stories, recognize internal shame or awkwardness, and ensure that their emotional energy during these talks doesn’t unintentionally pass discomfort or judgment onto their children. The authors stress that kids are emotional sponges, and how parents talk about sex—more than just what they say—deeply influences how their children feel about their own bodies, desires, and relationships. This is why intentionality and preparation matter more than perfection.

Practical tools and resources are also discussed, such as those from Fight the New Drug, Defend Young Minds, and Covenant Eyes. The article affirms that even when a co-parent is absent or unsafe to engage in these conversations, there are still ways to ensure kids have positive, trustworthy influences. By speaking truthfully, embracing healthy sexual values, and modeling openness, betrayed partners can break generational cycles of secrecy, shame, and dysfunction. Each conversation—no matter how imperfect—is a step toward a legacy of empowerment, honesty, and loving connection.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage Kids About Healthy Sexuality?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

PBSE Podcast 279 confronts the painful contradiction many addicts face: a deep longing for intimate connection paired with a habitual avoidance of it. Through a heartfelt partner’s submission and personal reflections, Mark and Steve illustrate how addiction, as an intimacy disorder, fuels this cycle of wanting but not acting—of making promises without follow-through. The core issue often isn’t a lack of sincerity, but a profound disconnection from self, rooted in fear, shame, and survival-based behaviors that sabotage the very closeness being sought.

Mark & Steve emphasize that real intimacy demands risk, consistency, and emotional presence—there’s no “door number three” that offers closeness without vulnerability. Acting out behaviors like pornography offer a counterfeit form of connection without the discomfort of being seen or rejected. But for true healing and trust to take root, addicts must stop hiding behind avoidance and start showing up authentically, even if the steps are small. It’s about shifting from vocalizing good intentions to building consistent habits of connection.

Ultimately, the article issues a powerful call to action for those in recovery: don’t just say you want intimacy—prove it. Begin where you are, but begin. For partners still offering connection, your continued hope is meaningful, but it must be met with effort. And for addicts, real change starts not with grand declarations, but with the next honest, intentional step toward your partner and yourself.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

In this PBSE episode (#278), Mark & Steve delve deeply into a critical topic for betrayed partners—After enduring the deep wounds of a marriage ending due to porn addiction, stepping back into the dating world requires tremendous courage, self-awareness, and intentional preparation. We encourage betrayed partners to first focus inward, engaging in compassionate self-analysis to better understand past relational dynamics. Exploring areas like intuition, self-trust, self-esteem, and emotional dependency empowers betrayed partners to move forward not with fear, but with wisdom and strength. Becoming the most authentic, grounded version of oneself is the true safeguard against repeating old patterns and lays the foundation for building future healthy relationships.

In today’s culture, pornography exposure is virtually universal, making it essential to approach dating with realism rather than idealism. The goal isn’t to find someone untouched by porn but to find someone who has a healthy, honest relationship with their sexuality and emotions. Asking direct, vulnerable questions early in the dating process—such as inquiries about pornography use, emotional openness, and personal growth—helps quickly reveal whether a potential partner can offer true intimacy, honesty, and emotional safety. Partners must prioritize open communication and trust their intuition, recognizing that how someone responds to vulnerability tells them much about future relational potential.

Ultimately, despite the heartbreak of the past, the future holds great promise for those who choose growth and self-empowerment. Betrayed partners are not broken; they are stronger, wiser, and more capable of building deep, lasting love than ever before. By focusing on personal healing, leading with authenticity, and refusing to settle for less than emotional honesty and maturity, individuals can find real, meaningful connections. The painful past becomes not an anchor, but a stepping stone into a richer, healthier future filled with hope, intimacy, and fulfillment.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Do I Navigate the Dating World After My Marriage Ended Due to Porn?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

PBSE Episode 277 addresses a deeply personal and often overlooked consequence of pornography addiction: the loss of enjoyment in media that was once shared and meaningful within a relationship. The authors respond to a listener's question about whether he and his partner can ever again enjoy media that has been “pornified” through his addiction. They explain how sexual addiction often extends beyond explicit content to include distorted sexualization of characters and media, leading to feelings of betrayal, shame, and disconnection. The podcast highlights how the brain, once trained to objectify, cannot selectively compartmentalize those responses, making formerly innocent content triggering or painful.

Recovery, the authors argue, begins with sobriety—creating enough distance from compulsive behaviors and media to assess its true impact. Only after detoxing can individuals and couples explore the question of reclaiming media in a healthy, intentional way. The process demands deep self-honesty, a redefinition of personal boundaries, and meaningful conversations with one’s partner. Trust and safety must be reestablished through consistent behaviors, transparent communication, and a shared vision for healing. Practical tools like content filtering, media planning, and regular emotional check-ins are vital for navigating this journey thoughtfully and securely.

Ultimately, the article offers hope: while some things may not return to their previous form, many aspects of media and connection can be redeemed. This requires letting go of black-and-white thinking and embracing a new, authentic relationship with media—one rooted in purpose, not compulsion. By learning to see people and experiences as whole, rather than as fragmented or sexualized, couples can rediscover joy, connection, and even innocence in their lives. The path forward may not restore what was lost in its original form, but it can lead to something even more meaningful—a deeper, shared way of living with clarity, connection, and freedom.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Habit of "Pornifying" Everything has Ruined EnJoyable Media for Me & My Partner!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

Episode 276 addresses a question often asked by partners of addicts in recovery: “Do I have to wait for the formal amends process before I see real change?” The authors explain that real transformation in recovery should not be postponed until Steps 8 and 9 of the 12-step model. They draw a clear distinction between a simple apology and the deeper process of making amends, emphasizing that true recovery begins with personal accountability, transparency, and a willingness to face difficult truths—not with a formal ceremony or set timeline. Waiting for a specific step to begin meaningful repair in a relationship is not only unnecessary, but often counterproductive.

The article also explores why addicts may avoid transparency, citing both nefarious and sincere motivations. Some use recovery language as a shield to delay vulnerability or to avoid accountability, a behavior referred to as “weaponizing recovery.” Others may believe they need to handle everything on their own, often stemming from unhealthy family systems or distorted beliefs about responsibility. These patterns, while sometimes well-intentioned, still prevent the growth and emotional openness necessary for healing. The authors stress that full transparency should begin early in recovery, as emotional honesty is foundational for any real connection or rebuilding of trust.

For betrayed partners, the article offers a roadmap for reclaiming personal empowerment. It encourages them to build outside support systems, gain clarity about their own needs, and hold firm boundaries—not as a means of controlling their partner’s behavior, but to protect their own healing. The message is clear: real recovery is demonstrated through consistent honesty, presence, and vulnerability long before any formal amends are made. Partners do not have to—and should not—wait for a specific step before expecting accountability and meaningful change.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do I Have to Wait for "Formal Amends" Process Before My Addict Partner Shows Any Real Change?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

This PBSE episode (275), inspired by a listener’s vulnerable question, dives deep into the emotional complexity of intimacy in long-term relationships—particularly when one partner has struggled with pornography addiction. The woman asks how her husband can look “past” her aging body and be genuinely aroused by real love. Her question reveals the pain of feeling invisible or undesired and touches on the widespread cultural belief that sexual attraction is rigid and solely tied to youth or physical perfection. The article dismantles this myth, showing that arousal is not a static, uncontrollable instinct, but a moldable response shaped by years of influence, experience, and personal choices.

Mark and Steve, speaking from their own journeys of recovery and their work with countless clients, explain how pornography warps the arousal template, training the brain to see only surface-level stimulation while disconnecting from emotional and spiritual depth. But through consistent personal work, emotional vulnerability, and intentional connection, that template can be rewritten. Real-life examples—like a therapist who found arousal in his wife’s post-mastectomy scars—illustrate that true desire comes not from ignoring reality, but from embracing it. The physical becomes more meaningful, not less, when it’s rooted in shared experience, loyalty, admiration, and love.

Ultimately, the article reframes arousal not as something to “look past,” but as something to “look through”—to see the fullness of a partner, body and soul. It calls both partners to re-engage in intimacy with eyes wide open, choosing to cultivate love through emotional connection and shared meaning. The grand takeaway is that authentic, meaningful love is not only enough to spark desire—it’s the most powerful and lasting form of arousal there is.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Can He "Look Past" My Body & Be Aroused by Real Love?!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

This PBSE Podcast Episode 274, centers on a partner’s heartfelt account of feeling objectified and emotionally disconnected during sex with her spouse, who is in recovery from porn addiction. Though he has given up porn and masturbation, their intimacy remains one-sided, leaving her feeling like a replacement for his addiction rather than a true partner in connection. Mark and Steve explore how sobriety alone isn’t enough—emotional growth, mindfulness, and a complete rewiring of sexual expectations are essential for healing.

Through neuroscience, they unpack how porn addiction distorts the brain’s wiring around sex, creating a dopamine-driven pattern that prioritizes climax over connection. Recovery, then, requires more than behavioral change; it calls for a transformation of mindset, unlearning toxic scripts, and rebuilding intimacy through vulnerability and presence. The metaphor of “remodeling” becomes central: couples must tear down broken patterns and collaboratively design a new vision for their sexual relationship.

Ultimately, the article calls couples to take back authorship of their story by replacing silence, shame, and autopilot sex with curiosity, honesty, and shared desire. With intention and effort, couples can elevate their sexual connection from a mechanical act to a space of mutual pleasure and deep intimacy—if they are willing to write that new narrative together.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Sed Isn't Mutually Pleasurable in our Relationship. Howe do We Elevate the Experience?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

In this episode (273) of the PBSE podcast, hosts Mark and Steve respond to a heartfelt message from a betrayed partner whose addict spouse keeps saying he’s “sorry” and that he’s “trying,” yet still fails to meet her emotional needs. The conversation highlights the profound frustration and exhaustion that many partners feel as they repeatedly express their pain and needs, only to be met with minimal awareness or inconsistent effort. The hosts emphasize that while an addict may be sincere in their apologies, sincerity without emotional capacity or real change isn’t enough to rebuild trust or connection.

The article goes on to explore the concept of emotional “capacity,” explaining that in early recovery, addicts often lack the internal tools needed to hold space for their partner’s pain. This isn’t to excuse poor behavior, but to help partners understand why they may be feeling unseen or invalidated despite their partner’s promises. Mark and Steve caution against the common trap of overextending emotional energy in hopes of breakthrough and instead stress the need for healthy, clearly defined boundaries. These boundaries are framed not as threats or punishments but as vital self-protection—ways to maintain one’s authenticity, dignity, and well-being when the addict is not yet capable of genuine connection.

Ultimately, the article challenges readers to reflect on compatibility, effort, and emotional sustainability within the relationship. It encourages betrayed partners to gain clarity around their own values, needs, and limits, while recognizing the difference between compliance and real change. Whether a partner is able to rise to the occasion or not, the message is clear: you are not alone, your needs are valid, and healing—whether together or apart—is possible with the right tools, support, and boundaries in place.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner Keeps saying "Sorry" and He's "Trying," but He's NOT Meeting my Real Needs!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services