- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

The ability to quickly recognize fearful situations and other emotional signals, may be critical to survival, as it enables us to detect potential threats. The amygdala is believed to play a central role in these processes.

The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped structure deep in the brain, located on the medial surface of the temporal lobe, which processes both positive and negative emotions. Brain scanning studies show that the amygdala is activated in response to fear, even when it is not real. There is a caveman/cavewoman instinct still activated in modern society, even when the danger is not from a Saber-tooth tiger, but an appraisal, an exam, presentation or something innocuous.

The trigger may come from watching a movies; from a text message; from anxiety, stress, loneliness, anticipatory fear. They may not be real; but feel real to you.

The brain's response may cause the amygdala to inappropriately fire and move you into a fight/flight/freeze response; which for you, may take the form of Dissociation, panic, self-harming, attack, conflict or a multitude of responses. The Autonomic Nervous System has kicked in. If you cannot sleep and still await at 2am in the morning, try reading about it - called The Polyvagal Theory. (I can send you some info if you want to request them).

The front lobe (Prefrontal Cortex) - the rational thinking part of the brain - responds to the cue from the Amygdala and goes off-line, as a survival activation. ("But it isn't a real survival/life or death situation brain"!). "We don't believe you" - says the brain. "We are just doing our job".

The Emotional part of the brain - The Limbic System - takes over and starts making some major bridge burning decisions, without consultation. ("I feel, so I do". Not "I feel so I think").

Use the "Special Place/Calm Plan/Relaxed Place/My Place Exercise" to keep or bring the Rational thinking part of the brain back online and cause Dissociation to recede. Let The Kairos Centre teach you how to do so.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

They are called the 4 Elements tools - which I teach my EMDR ("trauma") clients. These self-soothing - much more healthy and positive impacting (but still are hamster wheel/repetitive/habit/neural pathway activities) - become the new "go-to" practices.

In other words, instead of defaulting to the previous negative hamster wheel behaviours, you learn to default to these positive ones - that are used repetitively. Get it?

They work. They can help you bring your Pre-Cortex (intellectual reasoning frontal part of your brain) back online; whilst reducing the controlling Limbic part of the brain which has taken over major decision making - based on "I feel, so I do".

The intention is to quickly get you back into equilibrium - into homeostasis. Come on a journey with The Kairos Centre and let us equip you with these tools.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

If you understand The Stages of Change, may be you will not be so hard on yourself and be liberated! May be you are not defective, weak, a worse case, a hopeless case or an unfixable case.

Stop beating yourself up, since you are facing the same Relapses as those trying to quit smoking, stop binge eating & other eating disorders, gambling, drugs, gaming and many other compulsive behaviours. You are not being weak.

Yes, you may lack motivation; but probably more about lacking the correct tools for the actual Stage that you are at. If you have put yourself in the wrong Stage, then the tools to enhance your recovery (in that stage) will be blunt, if you are in the wrong Stage.

Want to know more? Contact The Kairos Centre.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

I need only a few words to summary this episode. The slippery slope of mis-using Technology, will always cost you more than you had bargained, in many aspects of life.

The world of AI, VR, Silicone full size sex dolls (childlike or sex slave like), will take you down at some point. It may not be for 20 years before doing a look back to count the cost of the severe adverse consequences of chasing the ultimate experience.

Get off the slippery slope. The stuff will bite you in the bump at some point. It will all - always - end badly.

Contact The Kairos Centre to help you.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

"Sticks & stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me".
That's not true! words do hurt. That means positive words can heal wounds.

Hence, the basis for reciting "Pillars" - which are words that are spoken over yourself three times a day, every day. They can re-set you throughout the day, as a distraction technique; distraction from the objectified images which are being replayed in the minds-eye.

Those objectified images are giving a drip, drip dose of those potent neurochemicals over days and so it is no surprised when days later you get a powerful sense of wanting to "Act out". Where did that powerful feeling come from? It came from the drip feed build up over time, from objectified images.

Here is a snippet of one of the 12 Pillars:
"My brain can change. My brain can be my best friend. It can also be my worst enemy. If I do positive things in my life, it is because of the neural circuitry that exists in my brain. If I do negative things......"

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

For example, the highest download of porn is between the hours of 9am and 5pm. What are those hours? Where are most people, during those hours? What do most contracts say about being caught having downloaded such material at work? What consequences flow from exposure? Then why take that level of risk?

Don't use logic when considering these questions. The part of the brain that does logic, is the Frontal Lobes - the Frontal Cortex (which analyzes, problem solves and learns).

Problem. When triggered to do the behaviours, very soon afterwards, the Frontal Cortex goes offline and the Limbic system (deeper in the middle of the brain) - takes over. It is the Emotional brain, which responds to feelings and emotions and triggers the Amygdala (the smoke alarm part of the brain) - to do something, to bring back stability of mood; to bring back homeostasis.

(Understand homeostasis by closing your eyes and stand on one leg. Most of us instinctively want to hold out our arms to balance us. So it is with the Amygdala and Limbic system).

Problem. The behaviour of choice, is what is well-used and has repeat hamster wheel activity about it; the automatic - autonomic system - 'go-to' behaviour; because of the neural Pathway carved out from repetition.

The logic (that the chosen activity has "Harmful Consequences") - is not being made in the Logical part of the brain. You could say - there is compromised brain functioning. A Recovery Programme, will want to provide tools to help better manage emotions and keep the logical brain online. Get it?

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

"Objectification" is not that you noticed the person. It is, that you linker longer or go back for a second or third look. "I am just appreciating God's creating", doesn't cut it!

What a nightmare then, for Porn Addicts, are these Paris Olympics (and the holiday abroad in the sun (not in England!) - by the poolside and the beach.

On the theme of the Olympics, here is a snippet of my recent article. Email me if you would like the full article:

"A recent media article is headed “Ex-Olympian reveals real reason there’s so much sex between athletes during the olympics”: https://vt.co/entertainment/sport/ex-olympian-reveals-real-reason-theres-so-much-sex- between-athletes-during-the-olympics?utm_source=vt&utm_medium=picturepost%23lz9fo3cjugjb1agb1qa As to any truth in that article, the likelihood is that the larger portion of the athletes probably do not have a Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD) - (more colloquially called Sex Addiction). Here is the definition of Sex Addiction which I use: "......

On the other hand, Huw Edwards (a high profile - currently in the media) regrettably, likely does have a Porn Compulsivity/Addiction). The increased risk taking and crossing boundaries will likely have been happening for some time, in order to have got him to the place of what has unfolded.

It makes no sense to many of us as to why a person would risk his marriage, other relationships, career, high profile role and impact on family and status, in order to do the activities. It is because the behaviours (not the porn viewing per se) - but the getting the neurochemical fix - is so powerful. Porn viewing and the commensurate risks, is the equivalent of the drug takers needle. It the conduit to get the neurochemicals into the body. It isn’t about porn or sex!......

Yes, but does sex or porn addiction really exist? Judge for yourself. The 9th International Conference on Behavioral Addictions (held by the International Society for the Study of Behavioural Addictions (ISSBA) - held all over the world - was in Gibraltar on 8-9 July 2024. It is a unique opportunity to share scientific knowledge on behavioural (non-substance-related) addictions, to enhance knowledge and gain a better understanding. Here is a link to one article in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions, in June 2024, as to the “Compulsive sexual behaviour in.....

It is interesting that Dr Rory Reid of UCLA, did research in 2007 & 2011, as to the prevalence of ADHD in a group of men in treatment for Sex Addiction. He found that although the prevalence of ADHD in the general population is 3-5% - of that group of men he studied, 23-26% were found to meet the criteria for ADHD......."

Give a little to my fund raising page here: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Porn-Blockers won't stop those who are determined to act out. Their use is, however, essential for those serious about achieving sobriety. It buys you time. It might get you through that day and enable you to add one more day to your sobriety count.

Here are some Porn-Blockers:
Chrome BlockX/Blocker X,Safe Surfer,Covenant Eyes,Qustodio,Famisafe Ourpast,Norton Online Family,Xblock,AdGuard,Tech Lockdown
Pluckeye,Accountable2you,Focus.me,Antidopamine,Adultblocker,X3Watch
Bark,Net Nanny,AVG Family Safety,McAfee Family Protection,Canopy, Canopy,Kidslox,PureSight Owl2011,Safe Eyes,Websafety PC,Cyberpurify

Would you help fund someone else's Recovery? Go on - give back a little and help make a significant difference in someones life - changing the trajectory of the quality of their life - where they cannot afford the help needed.

Give a little to my fund raising page here: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |