Showing results by narrator "Huw Parmenter" in All Categories

D. H. Lawrence is no longer censored, but he is still on trial - and we are still unsure what the verdict should be, or even how to describe him. History has remembered him, and not always flatteringly, as a nostalgic modernist, a sexually liberator, a misogynist, a critic of genius and a sceptic who told us not to look in his novels for 'the old stable ego’, yet pioneered the genre we now celebrate as auto-fiction. But where is the real Lawrence in all of this, and how - 100 years after the publication of Women in Love - can we hear his voice above the noise?

As far back as Barry can remember, he’s always wanted a sausage dog. They’re like two of his favourite things (sausages and dogs) squidged together! Who cares if they bark the whole time, do poos everywhere, need three walks every day and stop you going to the cinema with your friends? Not Barry. Until he actukeely gets a real-life sausage dog, that is.

I've never minded that my name's Barry Loser because my coolness has always cancelled it out, but ever since Darren Darrenofski joined school with his horrible little crocodile face, he's been completely ruining my life about it.

There’s a new Loser in town, and Barry’s not happy about it. The only thing that’s keeping him going is a superkeel new drink from Feeko’s Supermarket. But then disaster strikes, and Barry has to turn detective to solve the mystery of the century: the case of the crumpled carton!

Whatever happens, don't tell anyone what you did to Bee Larkham.... Jasper is not ordinary. In fact he would say he is extraordinary.... Synaesthesia paints the sounds of his world in a kaleidoscope of colours that no one else can see. But on Friday, he discovered a new colour - the colour of murder. He's sure something has happened to his neighbour, Bee Larkham, but no-one else seems to be taking it as seriously as they should be.

The first audiobook in the spellbinding, epic adventure series from 'the Godmother of Fantasy', Diana Wynne Jones. For centuries Dalemark has been a land divided by the warring earldoms of the North and South. Now, with the help of the mysterious gods of Dalemark, four extraordinary young people must join forces to reunify their beloved home. When 12-year-old Moril's father is murdered by soldiers, Moril inherits his ancient cwidder - a musical instrument with a mysterious past.

Everyone at Barry’s school has gone football crazy, but Barry gets thrown out of the team (the Mogden Maniacs) for being completeerly rubbish. Then it turns out that his best friend, Bunky, is a super striker—so Barry becomes his manager. The cup final match is approaching, and Bunky’s getting carried away with his football fame—can Barry keep his head in the game?

You know when someone's horrible to you in a dream and you wake up really annoyed with them? That’s what happened to me with my best friend Bunky. Barry has a new problem: Gordon Smugly—who’s got the most perfect name for himself ever in the history of having a name, because he looks like a Gordon and is smug and ugly—has stolen Barry’s best friend. Join Barry as he attempts to get Bunky back, organises a girly-scream voice test and tries to avoid seeing his teacher kissing his gran.

It’s only a few days into the half-term holidays, and Barry's dad has already had enough of him! He’s packing Barry off to Pirate Camp, the same one he used to be sent to every year. Barry’s not impressed—he’s not a baby anymore, so why should he have to go to a camp for kiddywinkles? But horrible things are afoot at Pirate Camp—it’s been taken over by the villainous Morag, and now its future’s in doubt. There’s only one thing to do: Barry and his new friends Sally Bottom and Renard Dupont have to uncover the hidden treasure of Mogden Island....

After discovering that Happyhead was a sinister eugenics experiment, Seb along with a select group of participants, finds himself washed up (literally) on an isolated island called Elmhallow. Here the teens are split into two groups – the chosen Ten and the Bottom Percentile.

Barry can’t wait to tell his friends that they’ve been invited on his family caravan holiday to Plonkton. But the weekend by the sea doesn’t turn out to be the keelfest Barry was hoping for. It’s all his best mate Bunky’s fault for going and falling in love. Oh. My. Unkeelness!

Cymbeline Igloo (yes, really!) has never been swimming. Not ever. Not once. But how hard can it be? He’s Googled front crawl, and he’s found his dad’s old pair of trunks. He’s totally ready. What he’s not ready for is the accident at the pool - or how it leads his mum to a sudden breakdown.

Barry’s mum has become a bit of celebrity, and now he can’t go anywhere without seeing a poster of her eating a chocolate digestive or wiggling her bum in a pair of jeans. It’s so annoy-embarrassing, and everyone at school is making fun of him. But you can’t keep Barry down for long.... With the help of his napkin collection, new girl Nancy Verkenwerken and a snail called Snailypoos, Barry is determined to prove once and for all that he is not a loser.

At 16, Sam Macmillan is supposed to be thinking about girls, homework and his upcoming application to music college, not picking up the pieces after the school shooting that his brother Charlie committed. Yet as Sam desperately tries to hang on to the memories he has of his brother, the media storm surrounding their family threatens to destroy everything. And Sam has to question all he thought he knew about life, death, right and wrong.

Here’s something you won’t believe: someone is doing TERRIBLE things to Mrs Martin, Cymbeline Igloo’s favourite teacher of all time. Cymbeline has to find the culprit (after he’s learned what ‘culprit’ means). He’s also got to help his friend Veronique, whose grandma is dangerously ill. It seems Nanai has a secret, connected to her arrival in the UK as a Boat Person from Vietnam, a traumatic journey in which she lost her twin sister.

It’s Barry’s birthday and his mum and dad have bought him the amazekeel new gaming helmet he wanted—the Shnozinator 9000! It’s the best birthday present ever...until his baby brother breaks it and ruins everything. But Barry has a plan: he’ll just have to become a billionaire inventor and make enough money to buy another one, before his life is comperleeterly over.

Cymbeline Igloo is bored. Bored of home learning, bored of lockdown, bored of not being able to do anything. And to make things even worse, his mum accidentally gave away his favourite football shirt. But then Mrs Stebbings, the beloved school cook, is taken into hospital, and suddenly coronavirus seems much closer to home. When Cym starts a project all about Mrs Stebbings’ childhood in World War II, he can’t know that it’s the beginning of something incredible and even dangerous.

There’s a girl in Barry’s class who’s getting more laughs than him! But luckily, Barry immediately thinks up one of his brilliant and amazekeel plans to make sure he’ll have the final chuckle. All he needs is 30 boxes of Beard Flakes.

Following hot on the paws from the best-selling A Pug Like Percy, the nation's favourite pug is back! And this time Percy has puppies.... Percy the pug has found a loving home with Gail, Simon and their daughter, Jenny. But now it's time for Percy's new puppies to fly the dog bed and become companions to someone in need - which turns out to be closer to home than the family first think.... On a visit to Gail's parents', Percy begins to suspect that all is not well with Eric, Gail's father.

When Rosie's best friend has an affair with her husband, the consequences reverberate through the lives of two families. Relationships are torn apart, friendships shattered and childish innocence destroyed. Her daughter Daisy's fragile hold on reality begins to unravel when a letter arrives that opens old wounds. Rosie's son, Max, blames himself for everything that happened. And her ex-husband, Nick, has his own version of events.