Showing results by narrator "Jesse Bernstein" in All Categories

I was just a normal kid, I went to school (got expelled a lot, but that wasn't my fault), played sports and hung out with my best friend.Until I accidentally vaporized my maths teacher.Now, I spend my time at Camp Half Blood, battling monsters and generally trying to stay alive.And now that Zeus thinks I've stolen his lightning bolt, staying alive is going to be even harder.

In response to an awful camp orientation video created by the god Apollo, Percy Jackson and other residents of Camp Half-Blood answer such questions as "what is this place?" and "do I get to keep the T-shirt?" Newbies can check out the section on the divine cabins, learn about magical landmarks, and consult the chapter on training arenas. But Camp Half-Blood Confidential explores much more than just the buildings and grounds.

Everyone's favorite game maker, Mr. Lemoncello, is testing out his new Fabulous Fact-Finding Frenzy game! If Kyle can make it through the first round, he and the other lucky finalists will go on a great race - by bicycle, bookmobile, and even Mr. Lemoncello's corporate banana jet - to find fascinating facts about famous Americans. The first to bring their facts back to the library will win spectacular prizes! But when a few surprising "facts" surface about Mr. Lemoncello, it might be go to jail and lose a turn all at once!

In the collection's title story, a pack of girls raised by wolves are painstakingly reeducated by nuns. In "Haunting Olivia", two young boys make midnight trips to a boat graveyard in search of their dead sister, who set sail in the exoskeleton of a giant crab. In "Sleepaway Camp for Disordered Dreamers", a boy whose dreams foretell implacable tragedies is sent to a summer camp for troubled sleepers (Cabin 1, Narcoleptics; Cabin 2, Sleep Apneics; Cabin 3, Somnambulists . . . ).

This is a story about me, Lily. And me, Jake. We're twins and we're exactly alike. Not exactly! Whatever. This is a book we wrote about the summer we turned eleven and Jake ditched me. Please. I just started hanging out with some guys in the neighborhood. Right. So anyway, this is a book about: Goobers and supergoobers. Bullies. Clubhouses. True friends. Things getting built and wrecked and rebuilt. And about figuring out who we are.

At first, Jude and her twin brother are NoahandJude; inseparable. Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude wears red-red lipstick, cliff-dives, and does all the talking for both of them. Years later, they are barely speaking. Something has happened to change the twins in different yet equally devastating ways . . . but then Jude meets an intriguing, irresistible boy and a mysterious new mentor.

Feed is an electrifying and critically acclaimed novel of a world a half-step from our own that the New York Times calls “Astonishing” a novel of zombies, geeks, politics, social media, and the virus that runs through them all - from New York Times best seller Mira Grant. The year was 2014. We had cured cancer. We had beat the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. The infection spread, virus blocks taking over bodies and minds with one, unstoppable command: Feed.

Leo has explored the zany, wonderful Whippet Hotel from basement to top floor, with trains, flying goats, and mazes (among other things) in between. But even Leo doesn't know every secret of the Whippet and when he discovers that there's more beneath the hotel than he'd thought, it doesn't take long for more adventures to unfold!

Leo and Remi have saved the wacky, wonderful Whippet Hotel, but their adventures aren't over. Anything is possible on the field of wacky inventions: some are scary (like a genetically altered twelve-foot chicken); some are dangerous (like a pond full of electric eels); some are completely out of control; and somehow, Leo and Remi will take it all in stride.

Before a surfing accident caused 33-year-old Devon Raney to lose all but 15 percent of his vision, he had already lived an extraordinary life. Time and again, he'd gone against the grain to maximize time for his passions - surfing, skateboarding, and snowboarding - bringing him into the direct path of colorful characters, unexpected adventures, and even the occasional brush with death. Through it all, Devon's commitment to outdoor adventure never wavered.

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

Some people lead and some people get out of the way. It’s a universal rule. A cosmic inevitability. Kevin Spencer is one lucky guy. Tina Zabinski, the World’s Most Beautiful, Most Perfect, Best-Smelling Girl, is finally his girlfriend. But now that he’s got the girl, will he be able to keep her?E nter his mortal enemy, Cash Devine. Handsome, smooth-talking Cash is running for class president, and he seems to have his eye on Tina. Kev’s got to dazzle her, so he decides to exercise his great political mind and run against Cash. There’s just one little problem: Kevin has to win. Gary Paulsen continues his exploration of the quirky, inventive mind of fourteen-year-old Kevin in this hilarious companion to Liar, Liar; Flat Broke; and Crush.

Who could tell the true stories of the gods and goddesses of Olympus better than modern-day demigod Percy Jackson? In this action-packed tour of Greek mythology, Percy gives his hilarious personal views on the feuds, fights and love affairs of the Olympians. Want to know how Zeus came to be top god? How many times Kronos ate one of his own kids? How Athena literally burst out of another god's head?

Questions can be tricky things. Everyone has their own way of dealing with them. India Tompkins can charm her way out of answering most of them. Finn Tompkins is too quiet to be asked in the first place. And Mouse Tompkins? She's a genius - she's used to having all the answers.

Classified Ads - Wanted: Personal assistant to Her Royal Highness. Duties: Whatever asked without hesitation, including but not limited to secretarial/administrative, household, defense, blood donation, driving, companionship, prey disposal, and love slavery. At last, Miranda is the life of the party: All she had to do was die. Elevated and adopted by none other than the reigning King of the Mantle of Dracul, Miranda goes from high-school theater wannabe to glamorous royal fiend overnight.

The Tragedy Paper follows the story of Tim Macbeth, a seventeen-year-old albino and a recent transfer to the prestigious Irving School, where the motto is “Enter here to be and find a friend.” A friend is the last thing Tim expects or wants - he just hopes to get through his senior year unnoticed. Yet, despite his efforts to blend into the background, he finds himself falling for the quintessential “It” girl, Vanessa Sheller, girlfriend of Irving’s most popular boy. To Tim's surprise, Vanessa is into him, too, but she can kiss her social status goodbye if anyone ever finds out.

So, life sucks just about as much as it possibly can. And when I see gargoyles heading straight for me, all I'm left wondering is who will kill me first - the winged monster-hunters, or the angry sea dragons? What I don't expect? The gargoyles don't know who or what I am. So maybe, just maybe, if I can hide my identity long enough, I'll survive. But it might take a little distraction to accomplish. The thing is, I don't think I mind distracting four hard-as-stone gargoyles who can't stop staring.

While Meggie and David Blue are from another planet, they're a lot like Earth kids, with similar hopes and dreams, and can't wait to grow up. But they also have grossly unique qualities, such as blue streaks in their hair that pop up randomly and language skills that sound like nothing on this planet. The story takes these alien kids, along with their mother and grandfather, by accident, to a far planet in which the society is not only oppressive but hostile to individual freedom. People are kept submissive through drugs and brainwashing.

Is something bugging you? Here is the funny side of waging war against - oh no! - head lice. This audiobook is guaranteed to make you laugh - and itch! From the opening scene of happy, oversized lice, you know these bugs are determined to stay, and Mom is about to go nuts!