Bible Humor

Because you know it's nonsense, but were never sure why.

Insurrection is in the air in the city of Ankh-Morpork. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. Captain Sam Vimes of the city's ramshackle Night Watch is used to this. It's enough to drive a man to drink. Well, to drink more. But this time, something is different - the Have-Nots have found the key to a dormant, lethal weapon that even they don't fully understand and they're about to unleash a campaign of terror on the city. Time for Captain Vimes to sober up.

For years bros, meatheads, and gym rats around the world have posed pressing questions: What can you bench? Can I skip leg day? What goes in this protein shake? And, importantly, do you even lift, bro? At long last, answers to these questions and more can be found in one handy volume - The Swoly Bible, written by the Internet's favorite gym expert/literary genius, Dom Mazzetti. In it, Mazzetti lays out the truth about how to make gains in the gym and in your life.

When the zombie apocalypse hits the quiet Asheville, NC, subdivision of Whispering Pines, the residents don't turn to the police or the military. Nope. They rely on their iron-fisted Home Owners Association! Which Jace Stanford and his family aren’t too keen on. Undead hordes are hard enough to deal with in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, who needs HOA fines too?

The New Comedy Bible is a step-by-step, no excuses manual for writing, performing, and launching your career as a stand-up comic. Written by Judy Carter, the author of The Comedy Bible (2001), which was called by The Washington Post and Forbes as a “Comedy Essential”. This new book, penned in classic Carter’s style - part career coach and part comedy dominatrix - has 100 percent new content.

Contemptuous of their parents, who pass their days in a stupor of liquor, drugs, and sex, the children feel neglected and suffocated at the same time. When a destructive storm descends on the summer estate, the group's ringleaders - including Eve, who narrates the story - decide to run away, leading the younger ones on a dangerous foray into the apocalyptic chaos outside.

The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw. Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve. For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.

This is the story of the Bible told like you've very likely never heard it told before. The Bible is one the most highly regarded literary works of all time. A number one best seller before there even was such a thing, the Bible has long been the most purchased book in history. The problem is, however, that most people haven't actually read the book, and those who have don't really understand a very fundamental fact about the Bible. That fact being that the Bible is in all honesty, simply a very bad work of fiction.

He's a seasoned cowboy on a delivery mission. She's a resilient hobby farm owner braving the winter storm. Can Keith and Lindsay forge a bond in the heart of a tempest and find love in the calm that follows? Keith Whettstein is no stranger to life's challenges - a seasoned cowboy from the renowned Hammond Family Farm, he's weathered his fair share of trials. Yet, as he finds himself caught in the thick of a snowstorm, delivering a horse to the remote Lewis farm just days before Christmas, life takes an unexpected turn. When an unfortunate slip leads to Keith's injury and the horse falls ...

She's had a crush on him for decades. He's finally in a place where he feels ready to date the boss's daughter. Can Cord and Jane take their relationship to the next level without getting burned? Jane Hammond has grown and matured a lot over the years. So much so that she's now working in the accounting department at the massive family company in downtown Denver. But she's living on her family's farm, which her older brother now owns. Her father lives in the generational house, and he still has his eye on Jane's wild streak. That, and that alone, has kept her from pursuing Cord Behr, the ...

What if the parables weren’t how you remembered? Would it help you see what you’d always missed? Still More Not the Parables of Jesus contains one last bunch of 40 satirical takes on the original parables to snap us out of our over-familiarity and open our eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Often fun, sometimes poignant, and occasionally painful; these parables reveal our cultural biases, hidden assumptions, and the lies we believe.

The Book of Revelation - a redneck paraphrase. NIV meets MSG meets CSV meets Amplified meets NASB meets KJV meets Japanese, Chinese and Russian translations meets original koine Greek. And, of course, my redneck heritage has found its way here also. Bill Belew spent twenty plus years in the Far East - Japan, China and Russia. The Book of Revelation - A Redneck Paraphrase is the result of what he reads when he compares these many translations. Enjoy The Book of Revelation - a Redneck Paraphrase and understand the meaning of this marvelous book when reading it in tandem with The Book of ...

In The Bible Salesman, Preston Clearwater is scoring cash working a car-theft ring in post-World War II North Carolina. When he picks up 19-year-old Bible salesman Henry Dampier, Preston convinces the kid that he's an FBI spy. And before Henry knows what's up, he finds himself in way over his head with no apparent way out.

Fábio Porchat --Se tem alguém que pode te ensinar a escrever as suas piadas, subir no palco e ser engraçado do seu jeito, esse alguém é Judy Carter. Tá preparado para começar? Fazer stand-up não é para qualquer um. Mas com esse livro, qualquer um pode fazer stand-up. -- Fabio PorchatO Comedy Bible está finalmente disponível em português!

Care to sell your soul? Imagine all that money! Fear not 'tis but a metaphor. Simply look inside this book and see for yourself! it's a sort of "how to manual" with many insiders definitions... And the salesman is handsome, vaguely foreign, & possessed of obvious...Intelligence. He has an air of sophistication for he is "a man of wealth and taste". A witty look at the strange world of inter-dimensional diplomatic missions , . . The Devil's Diplomatic Dictionary brings a light-hearted laugh to the world of diplomacy, providing funny definitions of the most common terms and phrases of ...

'And God said, Let there be light; and there was light, but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.' There have been many interpretations of the Old Testament over the centuries but never one quite like this. Spike Milligan has rewritten, in his own inimitable style, many of the best-known stories of the Old Testament, featuring characters like King 'my brain hurts' Solomon; the great oaf of a giant, Goliath; and the lesser-known crossword clue, Hushai the Archite.

In All Seriousness…Totally Funny Bible Stories is a book full of entertaining stories that God has given us as loving gifts. In the stories, the listener learns how to avoid pitfalls by simply heeding God's words and instructions. After listening to this enjoyable book, you'll want a relationship with God and to have his presence guide your life.

When the zombie apocalypse hits the quiet Asheville, NC, subdivision of Whispering Pines, the residents don't turn to the police or the military. Nope. They rely on their iron-fisted Home Owners Association! Which Jace Stanford and his family aren’t too keen on. Undead hordes are hard enough to deal with in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, who needs HOA fines too?

Comedians Elis James and John Robins have captured the hearts and minds of a generation, and it's time those hearts and minds had a book. Elis and John met in 2005 performing stand-up comedy in a pub called The Yellow Kangaroo in Cardiff. They eyed each other suspiciously before Robins offered the limpest handshake in the history of the world. 'It was a power play,' says Robins. 'I may even have raised it for him to kiss.'

In this collection of nearly 4,000 Bible verses, author James Larson highlights the humor - and sometimes tragedy - of scripture through his original and eye-opening interpretation. Respectfully presented with unique commentary and thought-provoking questions, this compilation will be sure to pique interest, inspire deeper contemplation, and launch the curious listener on a journey of reflecting upon God's word every day.