Radio Comedy

Meet Dot and her friend Millie, who only communicates in catchphrases; Wendy Clapper, who thinks TV, credit cards, swimming pools and soup are nothing but trouble; and Jonathan Tudge, who just can't help putting his foot in it. You’ll also encounter the worst therapist in the world, the travel agent who won't let anyone go further than Lowestoft, a registered platitudopath, a bag lady turned sacred icon, and the furniture removal men who think they're on Antiques Roadshow.

Irene Bruce spends her days pulling pints in Millport, the only town on the Isle of Cumbrae, a few miles off the west coast of Scotland. Frustrated and going nowhere fast, she yearns to escape to the mainland for a better life - or at least a bit of fun. Just over the water, there are clubs, cinemas and discos, so why is she stuck at home with tea, Scrabble and her boring sister Moira?

All Systems Red is the tense first science fiction adventure novella in Martha Wells' series The Murderbot Diaries. For fans of Westworld, Ex Machina, Ann Leckie's Imperial Raadch series, or Iain M. Banks' Culture novels. The main character is a deadly security droid that has bucked its restrictive programming and is balanced between contemplative self-discovery and an idle instinct to kill all humans.

When the rules turn deadly, winning is everything. Only available from Audible, a gripping psychological thriller from the author of Silent Child, Saving April, and The Broken Ones. Perfect for fans of Gillian Flynn, Lisa Jewell and Paula Hawkins. The perfect couple. The perfect marriage. The perfect game. Effie and Ben May have everything. Success. Beauty. Glamour. But beneath the charming smiles and expensive clothes, a twisted game is in progress. A game for which only they know the rules.

From the millions of listeners who follow the tales of Lake Wobegon and A Prairie Home Companion every Saturday night on public radio, and for fans of Garrison Keillor's literary take on life in our times, this audiobook will be most welcome.

Darrow is a Red, a member of the lowest caste in the color-coded society of the future. Like his fellow Reds, he works all day, believing that he and his people are making the surface of Mars livable for future generations. Yet he spends his life willingly, knowing that his blood and sweat will one day result in a better world for his children. But Darrow and his kind have been betrayed. Soon he discovers that humanity reached the surface generations ago. Vast cities and sprawling parks spread across the planet.

Hosted by the peerless Sandi Toksvig, these 25 episodes take us through the highlights and lowlights of 2008, a year dominated by the global financial crisis and the US presidential race between Barack Obama and John McCain. Scrutinising stories both world-shaking and whimsical are an esteemed panel of comedians, journalists and commentators, among them Andy Hamilton, Jeremy Hardy, Phill Jupitus, Francis Wheen, Kevin Day, Carrie Quinlan, Mark Steel, Hugo Rifkind, Justin Edwards, Sue Perkins and Robin Ince.

Amoral, cunning, ruthless, and instructive, this piercing work distills 3,000 years of the history of power into 48 well-explicated laws. This bold volume outlines the laws of power in their unvarnished essence, synthesizing the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Carl von Clausewitz, and other infamous strategists. The 48 Laws of Power will fascinate any listener interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control.

On the day of Charles and Diana's wedding in 1981, a rookie radio reporter in Sydney gets an exclusive no one would want. A dark comedy on serial killing.

Jeeves is on holiday in Herne Bay, and while he's away, the world caves in on Bertie Wooster. For a start, Bertie's astonished to read in the Times of his own engagement to the mercurial Bobbie Wickham. Then, at Brinkley Court, his Aunt Dahlia's establishment, he finds his awful former headmaster in attendance, ready to award the prizes at Market Snodsbury Grammar School. And finally the Brinkley butler turns out, for reasons of his own, to be Bertie's nemesis in disguise, the brain surgeon Sir Roderick.

When Lenina and Bernard visit a savage reservation, we experience how Utopia can destroy humanity. Cloning, feel-good drugs, anti-aging programs, and total social control through politics, programming, and media: has Aldous Huxley accurately predicted our future? With a storyteller's genius, he weaves these ethical controversies in a compelling narrative that dawns in the year 632 A.F. (After Ford, the deity). When Lenina and Bernard visit a savage reservation, we experience how Utopia can destroy humanity.

2012 was full of historic milestones - London hosted the Olympics, the Queen celebrated her Diamond Jubilee, and The News Quiz marked its 35th anniversary. Sandi Toksvig is in the chair for these three series, as the team debate these and other top stories of the year.

Everyone in my family has killed someone. Some of us, the high achievers, have killed more than once. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it is the truth. Some of us are good, others are bad, and some just unfortunate. I’m Ernest Cunningham. Call me Ern or Ernie. I wish I’d killed whoever decided our family reunion should be at a ski resort, but it’s a little more complicated than that.

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don’t know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum—as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face. He had a little boat, and he rowed about quite quietly on the lake; for lake it was, wide and deep and deadly cold.

At one time, Corrie ten Boom would have laughed at the idea that she had a story to tell. For the first 50 years of her life, nothing out of the ordinary ever happened to her. She was a spinster watchmaker living contentedly with her sister and their elderly father in the tiny house over their shop in Haarlem. Their uneventful days, as regulated as their own watches, revolved around their abiding love for one another. But with the Nazi invasion and occupation of Holland, everything changed....

When Tea accidentally resurrects her brother from the dead, she learns she is different from the other witches in her family. Her gift for necromancy means that she's a bone witch, a title that makes her feared and ostracized by her community. But Tea finds solace and guidance with an older, wiser bone witch, who takes Tea and her brother to another land for training.

When Lister got drunk, he really got drunk! After celebrating his birthday with a Monopoly-board pub crawl around London, he came to in a burger bar on one of Saturns moons, wearing a lady's pink crimplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of "Emily Berkenstein". Joining the Space Corps seemed a good idea.

From the author of the international best seller A Higher Call comes the riveting World War II story of an American tank gunner’s journey into the heart of the Third Reich, where he will meet destiny in an iconic armor duel - and forge an enduring bond with his enemy.

There’s a new DJ in town. The first time Claire Ramsden hears his voice, she almost falls off her chair. The new radio DJ. The man with the deep, husky voice. The vampire. Claire grew up around supernatural creatures. But none of them have ever done this to her before—left her dazed and aching with just a few words. It’s humiliating. She may just be human, but Claire’s not afraid of some glamor-happy vampire. She marches right into that radio station, ready to take the bloodsucker down. Too bad he’s ready for her. And too bad that’s not a glamor she’s feeling. Radio Vamp is ...

February 2012. Somewhere in the North Atlantic. In an increasingly uncertain defence environment, a deadly new arms race has begun. In an attempt to secure her boundaries, Britain has deployed the very latest sub-sea military technology. Beneath and beyond the front line, these are the adventures of the HMS Goliath. A 55,000-tonne M-Class nuclear stealth submarine, prowling 5,000 metres below the surface, manned by idiots.