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Da Elf Got ta Go ta da Bigass Univesaty
- M/M Christmas Fun
- Narrated by: Jasper Johnson
- Length: 26 mins
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Publisher's summary
Ima happy slutty Elf, an Ima nat ashamed ta say so. Santa found me humpin Rudolf, back in dam days, so work was hard ta come by, especially in dam Reindeer Stables.
I wana ta be an archeologists for as far back as I cud remember an I was willin ta do anyffin ta get dat degree. I wuda volunteer ta do anyffin an go anywhere just ta get experience in proper excavatin. I meant sittin for hours in da hot sun an usin da tablespoons ta dig at da earff. Dan if we found anyffin, lika lital piece of flint, it meant brushin it wiff a tiny paintbrush for 'bout ffirty minutes an dan we would catalog it an numba it at ta what grid we had found it.
Listener Advisory: Dear listeners, dis Christmas stary is meant ta be enjoyed by adults, 18 years or oler. Da stary deals exclusively wiff gay elves havin sex, so if da potential listener finds homosexuality offensive, dan dis is nat a stary for you. While da tawns an places and elves are real all of da characters are strictly fictional an are nat meant ta portray anyone livin or dead in da Pole or woteva. An tis ritten in da Elf languages. So do da bigass spellars, don judge.
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Performance
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Cattleman Homer Bannon is a walking advertisement for traditional, old-frontier morals—in contrast to his stepson, Hud. Homer’s grandson Lonnie is torn between emotions for his father and grandfather as he struggles to define his own identity.
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Early book by McMurtry and it shows it.
- By lee on 02-19-11
By: Larry McMurtry
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Same Kind of Different as Me
- A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together
- By: Ron Hall, Denver Moore, Lynn Vincent - contributor
- Narrated by: Daniel Butler, Barry Scott
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Denver, raised under plantation-style slavery in Louisiana until he escaped the “Man” in the 1960’s by hopping a train. Untrusting, uneducated, and violent, he spends 18 years on the streets of Dallas and Fort Worth. Meet Ron Hall, a self-made millionaire in the world of high-priced deals—an international arts dealer who moves between upscale New York galleries and celebrities. It seems unlikely that these two men would meet under normal circumstances, but when Deborah Hall, Ron's wife, meets Denver, she sees him through God's eyes of compassion.
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Stays with me...
- By Rebekah Sue Carolla on 09-23-18
By: Ron Hall, and others
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Their Eyes Were Watching God
- By: Zora Neale Hurston
- Narrated by: Ruby Dee
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Their Eyes Were Watching God, an American classic, is the luminous and haunting novel about Janie Crawford, a Southern Black woman in the 1930s, whose journey from a free-spirited girl to a woman of independence and substance has inspired writers and readers for close to 70 years.
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perfection
- By Mel on 04-06-15
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Of Mice and Men
- By: John Steinbeck
- Narrated by: Gary Sinise
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Celebrating its 75th anniversary, John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men remains one of America's most widely read and beloved novels. Here is Steinbeck’s dramatic adaptation of his novel-as-play, which received the New York Drama Critics’ Circle Award for Best Play in 1937-1938 and has featured a number of actors who have played the iconic roles of George and Lennie on stage and film, including James Earl Jones, John Malkovich and Gary Sinise.
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KETCHUP
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-11-17
By: John Steinbeck
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The Purple Don
- An Illuminati Novel
- By: SLMN
- Narrated by: L. Steven Taylor
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Joey Diamonds is on the verge of being a “made” man, with ice-cold blue eyes that pierce through the hearts of women...and men. After being disowned by his Mafia family, losing the love of his life, and realizing the world at large is his enemy, Joey throws extreme caution to the wind on his journey of self-debauchery in the name of fame and fortune. The Purple Don is the story of how self-destruction is never simply an internal state, and everyone around can be destroyed in the process.
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This was a good story!
- By tracey on 04-18-24
By: SLMN
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Devil in a Blue Dress
- An Easy Rawlins Mystery
- By: Walter Mosley
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Los Angeles, 1948: Easy Rawlins is a black war veteran just fired from his job at a defense plant. Easy is drinking in a friend's bar, wondering how he'll meet his mortgage, when a white man in a linen suit walks in, offering good money if Easy will simply locate Miss Daphne Money, a blonde beauty known to frequent black jazz clubs.
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Beware of Mysterious Sexy Women with Big Suitcases
- By Jefferson on 02-13-11
By: Walter Mosley
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Ex-Superheroes
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Tad Branson
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s the end of the 21st century, and Hunter McNeil is your average, ordinary, ex-Army Ranger with superpowers. He’s serving time unjustly in a Supermax for supervillains when a botched prison break puts him in the crosshairs of an Army general who runs the Super-Powered Combatants Corp. Turns out a coordinated strike has put supervillains in charge of every major city in the world, and Hunter is the only hope at restoring order. And so Hunter sets out to do what he does best: kill supervillains. Save the world. And build a harem of smokin’ hot, super-powered women to help him.
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Half Literary Porn
- By ReWrite from Shadow on 01-18-21
By: A.J. Markam
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A Pimp's Life
- By: Treasure Hernandez
- Narrated by: Keith Benn Jr.
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Donald Goines and Iceberg Slim comes A Pimp’s Life, the story of the rise and fall of Mack Jones. He’s at the top of his pimp game in Queens, New York, until he breaks one of the cardinal rules of Pimping 101 and falls in love with one of his girls. Destiny was once an innocent young girl tricked into selling her body, but now she’s as tough as the most seasoned professionals on the street. Then a tragic turn of events causes her to open her heart once again.
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SMH....
- By Emanuelinc on 12-09-20
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Family
- A Novel
- By: J. California Cooper
- Narrated by: Janina Edwards
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Family is a stunning, often painfully graphic re-creation of the realities of slavery: black women raped by white masters; black children sold to sustain failing plantations - or to satisfy the whims of a petulant mistress; strong men humiliated, whipped, and beaten because of the color of their skin. But it is also the triumphant story of a mother whose loving spirit transcends the barriers of death and time, allowing her to watch over her children and her children’s children.
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Love this book
- By legacy329 on 04-30-21
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Uncle Tom's Children
- By: Richard Wright
- Narrated by: Adam Lazarre-White
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Originally published in 1938, Uncle Tom's Children, a collection of novellas, was the first book from Richard Wright, who would go on to win international renown for his powerful and visceral depiction of the Black experience. Set in the American Deep South, each of the powerful and devastating stories in Uncle Tom's Children concerns an aspect of the lives of Black people in the post-slavery era, exploring their resistance to white racism and oppression. The collection also includes a personal essay by Wright titled "The Ethics of Living Jim Crow."
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I am Speechless, Absolutely Breath Taking!,
- By Lisalisa on 09-26-20
By: Richard Wright
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Tears of a Tiger
- By: Sharon M. Draper
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson, Cornell Womack, Kevin R. Free, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The night that changes everything in Andy's life begins as a great time. His basketball team wins a big game, and he and his best friend have some cold brews stashed in the car, just waiting for the rolling party to begin. Nothing anyone can say or do afterwards will convince Andy that what happens next isn't his fault.
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Thankful that my child didn’t read it!!
- By vfw1982 on 11-29-20
By: Sharon M. Draper
What listeners say about Da Elf Got ta Go ta da Bigass Univesaty
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- B.McGrath
- 12-19-21
entertaining
If you're looking for some laughs and lighthearted fun this could be your jam. Like nothing I've ever listened to, so take a chance. I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this and am giving an honest review. The narrator was unique.
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- Matthew
- 06-09-22
Different
This was a different kind of book.
I wasn't used to the dialogue or writing script.
This is a new to me Author. I'm not sure if this is their usual writing style with weird spellings or else if it just fits this character / book.
Narration was decent.
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