
Grand Theft Sorcery
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Narrated by:
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Tess Irondale
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By:
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Elliott Kay
About this listen
The vampire lord of Los Angeles is dead, plunging the nightlife into chaos. His subjects fight over his title and his missing treasure hoard. The conflict pushes werewolves, sorcerers, and djinn closer than ever to open war.
Repo man Evan Murphy knows nothing of the supernatural. He only wants a roof over his head and food for his cats. When a risky job lands him in the dungeon of a Hollywood Hills necromancer, a forgotten god offers him the power to escape—making him the target of a beautiful immortal mercenary and every monster within a hundred miles. Evan’s new magic may save the city from its shadows, but only if he can save himself.
Warning: Grand Theft Sorcery contains explicit sex, explicit violence, explicit criticism of American law enforcement, bilingual profanity, a meet-cute that ends in homicide, conspicuous consumption, Los Angeles, demons, monsters, cops, vampires, talent agents, tautologies, street racing, attempted murder, successful murder, axe murder, motorcycle helmet murder, matching basketball hoodies, carjacking, kidnapping, brief torture, discovery of animal abuse (past/off-page), destruction of evidence, rampant traffic violations, premeditated hotel reservation with only one bed, desecration of the dead, awkward meetings with the ex, awkward meetings with the ex’s mom, deadly bisexuals, hypermasculine podcaster trash, acknowledgment of white privilege, false license plates, conspiracy, squatting, looting, mauling, home invasion, trespassing, witchcraft, abuse of authority, aggressive generosity, arguable cannibalism, destruction of private property, search warrant violations, outright lies, phone hacking, petty theft, grand larceny, vandalism, arson, defenestration, resisting arrest, driving under the influence of existential shock, appropriation of queer meme culture, shooting, punching, kicking, biting, couch surfing, bribery of wildlife, old-timey Hollywood stereotypes, internet sexism and exploitation thereof, unflattering implications about heaven and angels, two entirely normal cats, and the Black Dog of the Mojave.
©2024 Elliott Kay (P)2025 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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By: Elliott Kay
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An Enforcer of Havilah
- By: Robert W. Ross
- Narrated by: Autumn Juliet, Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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My parents named me after an angel. That was a mistake. My words and actions remind them of this on a daily basis. My father disagrees. He is the Sentinel of Order, God’s unchecked hand on the world, but I’ll always be his little girl. Da may be biased, but he’s not deluded. The angel for whom I was named is beautiful, brave, and temperate. Da says two out of three isn’t bad. I cannot take credit for my beauty, and will not attribute bravery to things that simply must be done. As for temperance, I have none. I come to my lack of temperance honestly.
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Great tag team
- By Meghan on 05-21-25
By: Robert W. Ross
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A Hero Returned
- The Last Rae of Hope Book 1
- By: Eura Adams
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 14 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel and her best friend Nora never imagined their first job at a publishing company would catapult them into the heart of their favorite fantasy web novel. Five years after the story's abrupt hiatus left fans in limbo, they seize the chance to help the enigmatic author complete the tale that had captivated their hearts during their high school days. But what begins as an exciting creative endeavor quickly spirals into a quirky, unimaginable adventure when they're whisked away without consent into the very story they longed to save.
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A fun comedy with heart
- By Amazon Customer on 05-27-25
By: Eura Adams
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Scarlet Citadel
- Walking Shadow, Book 1
- By: Jack Fields
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers, Tess Irondale
- Length: 20 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Set in the metropolis of Corinth City where steampunk meets neon gothic. Haunted by a recent heartbreak, Hughes is indebted to the city's most terrifying criminal gang. Desperate for salvation, Hughes sets his sights on joining the Scarlet Citadel, an enigmatic organization of pageant fighters, monster hunters, and keepers of secrets. As a member of their illustrious ranks, surely he can pay off his debts and change his life for the better.
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elegant prose
- By Okanda on 12-11-24
By: Jack Fields
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The Quantum Games
- By: Robably
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In the quiet halls of a small-town community college, five ordinary students find their lives forever altered. When a mysterious system event thrusts them into a galaxy-wide tournament, they must rise to the challenge.
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Fun fast paced progression
- By Erik on 05-08-25
By: Robably
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Empire Builder: Breed, Populate, Conquer
- Empire Builder, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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When Benjamin's latest conquest revealed herself to be from another world, he couldn't believe it. But her crazy revelations didn't stop there. She said that Benjamin was the reincarnation of the Forgotten Ruler, a supreme being with an empire that once spanned an entire continent. Now, he's traveling to that fantasy world with one goal in mind: rebuilding his empire, one monstrous offspring at a time. Move over Sauron, Benjamin Davies is the next dark lord of fantasy.
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High Quality Trash
- By Zero Calvin on 11-05-21
By: Dante King
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House of Secrets
- The Bloodborne Trilogy, Book 1
- By: M.E. Evans
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Amid a crumbling marriage and PTA power struggles, Daniele Ténèbres is about to unearth more than just family secrets. She feels like a husk as she goes through the motions of her day-to-day, so busy it borders on chaos. Then, a mysterious new neighbor arrives, his presence both alluring and unsettling. Whispers of dark truths and hidden pasts swirl around her suburban life, pulling Danny into a world she never knew existed. Everyone around her is hiding something—but some secrets are more dangerous than others.
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Finally a mature FMC!
- By Carly Lugo on 01-16-25
By: M.E. Evans
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Rapture
- Apocalypse Gates Author's Cut, Book 1
- By: Daniel Schinhofen
- Narrated by: Andrea Parsneau
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Alvin woke in a room that was not his, to discover that he had died and his brain had been bargained off cheaply to pay off someone else’s debt. It did not sit well with him. It didn’t surprise him that even in death, people were still using him for their own purposes. He had never exactly been a good guy, but everyone had their breaking point, and he had found his. The bastards in charge had uploaded his mind into a virtual death game. The whole world could now pay to see him play it and probably die. Regardless, he was not about to wait for death to come for him.
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HAve fun with the apocalypse and zombies
- By LITRPG Audiobook Reviews on 10-03-18
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Fangs and Feathers: The Complete Trilogy
- Books 1-3
- By: Isla Frost
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 21 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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My name's Lyra Ridley, and I run headlong into supernatural danger for a living. When a criminal has magic too dangerous to merely lock up, we send them to a blackout prison. Hell would've been a better destination for this guy. As a lowly cop in the LVMPD's Rapid Response unit, I'm used to dealing with all kinds of dumpster-fire scenarios, from drunk salamanders on a building-melting bender and angry manticore landlords threatening to eat tenants' gallbladders in lieu of payment to human summoners calling up monsters from the deep to impress their girlfriends to name a few.
By: Isla Frost
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Herald of Shalia
- By: Tamryn Tamer
- Narrated by: Amber Lee Connors, Kieran Flitton
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Sebastian Frost’s most recent memory was waking up in a field naked, in a body that wasn’t his own, in a world that definitely wasn’t his own, and three stunning pointy-eared women staring right at him. He also remembered hair as white as starlight, eyes like amethysts, and the name Shalia. Fortunately, it was the right name to know. Shalia was the elves’ goddess, and that made him her herald.
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Frost is my spirit animal!
- By Anthony on 09-14-20
By: Tamryn Tamer
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Time Thief: A Sci-Fi Romantasy
- Eclipse, Book 1
- By: Lindsay French
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When Max learned her world and its advanced race posing as gods were not all they seemed, her powers were sealed off by an unbreakable curse. Banished from the Mountain of the Gods, she devotes her life to protecting the village that adopted her as their own—until the Prophet of the Valley captures her and her people, intent on using them as a blood sacrifice. Max vows to escape and return to the mountain to reclaim a power she hates in order to save the people she loves. But she'll need the help of one of the Prophet's fiercest warriors, Nash the Unknown.
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Great storyline!
- By Rhonda on 05-19-25
By: Lindsay French
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The Arcane Lord Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Marcus Sloss, Alex Prone
- Narrated by: Amber Hartt
- Length: 27 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Julian never thought that graduating from the Ironfist Academy would be the easy part. He returns to his ancestral manor and is greeted by crumbling walls, growing debts, and a father who’s conveniently disappeared. To top it all off, someone is intent on making his new role as lord of the estate as difficult as possible. Armed with magic and a purpose, Julian must juggle the ancient art of estate management. Luckily, he's not alone.
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Nope
- By Kindle Customer on 05-21-25
By: Marcus Sloss, and others
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Neural Wraith
- Neural Wraith, Book 1
- By: K.D. Robertson
- Narrated by: Stephanie Savannah
- Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Neo Babylon, your neural implant is your identity. You use it as your credit card, to surf the Altnet, to chat with friends, to login to work or school, and to be pestered by advertisements. Anyone without one is cut off from society. Nick can’t get a neural implant. That fact turns his daily life into hell, but the city's underworld has its plans for him. Being invisible to the city’s omnipresent tracking has its perks. Without a neural presence, he’s someone who is felt but not seen—a wraith.
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Pointlessly Horny Gattaca
- By Quinn on 03-23-23
By: K.D. Robertson