The Chemistry Between Us
Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction
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Narrated by:
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Sean Pratt
About this listen
How much control do we have over love? Much less than we like to think. All that mystery, all that poetry, all those complex behaviors surrounding human bonding leading to the most life-changing decisions we’ll ever make, are unconsciously driven by a few molecules in our brains.
How does love begin? How can two strangers come to the conclusion that it would not only be pleasant to share their lives, but that they must share them? How can a man say he loves his wife, yet still cheat on her? Why do others stay in relationships even after the romance fades? How is it possible to fall in love with the “wrong” person? How do people come to have a “type”?
Physical attraction, jealousy, infidelity, mother-infant bonding - all the behaviors that so often leave us befuddled - are now being teased out of the fog of mystery thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander explain how those findings apply to you.
Drawing on real human stories and research from labs around the world, The Chemistry Between Us is a bold attempt to create a “grand unified theory” of love. Some of the mind-blowing insights include:
- Love can get such a grip on us because it is, literally, an addiction.
- To a woman falling in love, a man is like her baby.
- Why it’s false to say society makes gender, and how it’s possible to have the body of one gender and the brain of another.
- Why some people are more likely to cheat than others.
- Why we sometimes truly can’t resist temptation.
Young and Alexander place their revelations into historical, political, and social contexts. In the process, they touch on everything from gay marriage to why single-mother households might not be good for society. The Chemistry Between Us offers powerful insights into love, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and family life that will prove to be enlightening, controversial, and thought provoking.
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Story
When it comes to sex, common wisdom holds that men roam while women crave closeness and commitment. But in this provocative, headline-making book, Daniel Bergner turns everything we thought we knew about women's arousal and desire inside out. Drawing on extensive research and interviews with renowned behavioral scientists, sexologists, psychologists, and everyday women, he forces us to reconsider long-held notions about female sexuality.
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Masterfully read, depressing yet thoughtful book
- By Boom Depleter on 10-10-14
By: Daniel Bergner
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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The Psychopath Inside
- A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain
- By: James Fallon
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The memoir of a neuroscientist whose research led him to a bizarre personal discovery, James Fallon had spent an entire career studying how our brains affect our behavior when his research suddenly turned personal. While studying brain scans of several family members, he discovered that one perfectly matched a pattern he’d found in the brains of serial killers. This meant one of two things: Either his family’s scans had been mixed up with those of felons or someone in his family was a psychopath.
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Entertaining story with some quick neuroscience
- By smarmer on 09-21-14
By: James Fallon
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How Sex Works
- By: Sharon Moalem
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Can twins have different fathers? From the composition and function of human sex organs to the fascinating biochemistry behind sexual attraction, How Sex Works presents captivating new ideas and surprising answers to questions about contraception, fertility, circumcision, menopause, STDs, homosexuality, orgasms, and more. This is an entertaining, comprehensive exploration of culture, biology, and history that takes us far beyond our common understanding of sex.
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An interesting and easy listen
- By colleen on 06-15-12
By: Sharon Moalem
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Vagina Obscura
- An Anatomical Voyage
- By: Rachel E. Gross
- Narrated by: Siho Ellsmore
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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The Latin term for the female genitalia, pudendum, means “parts for which you should be ashamed”. Until 1651, ovaries were called female testicles. The fallopian tubes are named for a man. Named, claimed, and shamed: Welcome to the story of the female body, as penned by men. Today, a new generation of (mostly) women scientists is finally redrawing the map. With modern tools and fresh perspectives, they’re looking at the organs traditionally bound up in reproduction—the uterus, ovaries, vagina—and seeing within them a new biology of change and resilience.
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poor narration
- By Jane on 08-23-22
By: Rachel E. Gross
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A Billion Wicked Thoughts
- What the World's Largest Experiment Reveals About Human Desire
- By: Sai Goddam, Ogi Ogas
- Narrated by: Andrew Garman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Informed by 18,000 interviews and bold insight from neuroscientists Sai Gaddam and Ogi Ogas, this groundbreaking study will likely rock many people’s perceptions of what stimulates males and females. The surprising results not only demonstrate people’s needs, but the needs of people’s mates as well.
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Pseudoscience at its worst
- By D. Moller on 06-25-15
By: Sai Goddam, and others
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The Molecule of More
- How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity - And Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race
- By: Daniel Z. Lieberman MD, Michael E. Long
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity—and will Determine the Fate of the Human Race, George Washington University professor and psychiatrist Daniel Z. Lieberman, MD, and Georgetown University lecturer Michael E. Long present a potentially life-changing proposal: Much of human life has an unconsidered component that explains an array of behaviors previously thought to be unrelated, including why winners cheat, why geniuses often suffer with mental illness, why nearly all diets fail, and more.
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Did you know conservatives have more orgasms?
- By Josh on 10-21-20
By: Daniel Z. Lieberman MD, and others
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Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life
- A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity Are Revolutionizing Our View of Human Nature
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Between what can be learned from evolutionary psychology and cognitive science a picture emerges. In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick fuses these two fields to create a coherent story of human nature. In his analysis, many ingrained, apparently irrational behaviors—one-night stands, prejudice, conspicuous consumption, even art and religious devotion—are quite explicable and (when desired) avoidable.
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Rather dated and self-aggrandizing
- By Laurie Frick on 07-21-11
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The Brain That Changes Itself
- Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science
- By: Norman Doidge M.D.
- Narrated by: Jim Bond
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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An astonishing new science called neuroplasticity is overthrowing the centuries-old notion that the human brain is immutable. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Norman Doidge, MD, traveled the country to meet both the brilliant scientists championing neuroplasticity and the people whose lives they've transformed - people whose mental limitations or brain damage were seen as unalterable.
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***MIND BLOWN***
- By Laura Elsasser on 04-04-21
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Our Inner Ape
- A Leading Primatologist Explains Why We Are Who We Are
- By: Frans de Waal
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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We have long attributed man's violent, aggressive, competitive nature to his animal ancestry. But what if we are just as given to cooperation, empathy, and morality by virtue of our genes? What if our behavior actually makes us apes? What kind of apes are we?
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I loved this book
- By Ruth on 06-22-07
By: Frans de Waal
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Sex, Time, and Power
- How Women's Sexuality Shaped Human Evolution
- By: Leonard Shlain
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 14 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Sex, Time, and Power offers a tantalizing answer to an age-old question: Why did big-brained Homo sapiens suddenly emerge some 150,000 years ago? The key, according to Shlain, is female sexuality. Drawing on an awesome breadth of research, he shows how, long ago, the narrowness of the newly bipedal human female's pelvis and the increasing size of infants' heads precipitated a crisis for the species. Natural selection allowed for reconfiguration of hormonal cycles, entraining women with the periodicity of the moon - and imbuing women with the concept of time.
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Interesting conjecture
- By DJKPP on 10-15-20
By: Leonard Shlain
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The Red Queen
- Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
- By: Matt Ridley
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Referring to Lewis Carroll's Red Queen from Through the Looking-Glass, a character who has to keep running to stay in the same place, Matt Ridley demonstrates why sex is humanity's best strategy for outwitting its constantly mutating internal predators.
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If I were ten Years Old...
- By Ken on 02-07-11
By: Matt Ridley
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The Science of Happily Ever After
- What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love
- By: Ty Tashiro
- Narrated by: Chris Chappell
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In this playful and informative exploration of the science behind how to choose a great mate, acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro explores how to find enduring love. Dr. Tashiro translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first audiobook to revolutionize the way we search for love. His research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing mates and how we can make smarter choices.
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Simplistic advice...
- By R. Steiner on 02-14-17
By: Ty Tashiro
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The Self Illusion
- Why There Is No "You" Inside Your Head
- By: Bruce Hood
- Narrated by: Bruce Hood
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Self Illusion provides a fascinating examination of how the latest science shows that our individual concept of a self is in fact an illusion. Most of us believe that we possess a self - an internal individual who resides inside our bodies, making decisions, authoring actions and possessing free will. The feeling that a single, unified, enduring self inhabits the body is compelling and inescapable. But that sovereignty of the self is increasingly under threat from science as our understanding of the brain advances.
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Disappointing
- By David R Pinsof on 05-10-12
By: Bruce Hood
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Finally Out
- Letting Go of Living Straight, A Psychiatrist's Own Story
- By: Loren A. Olson MD, Karen Levy - editor
- Narrated by: Loren A. Olson
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson vigorously answers both questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history.
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Excellent!
- By Tim Rymel, M.Ed. on 01-29-15
By: Loren A. Olson MD, and others
What listeners say about The Chemistry Between Us
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leslie
- 05-24-23
Excellent
Exactly what I wanted to know! This book is very informative and also entertaining... great overall
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- Beth Brand
- 06-02-15
Super Interesting
A little more technical than I thought it would be and sometimes repetitive, but overall I loved it. Gave me so much to think about as far as love, sex, and the fluidity of sexuality.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Bradley
- 11-10-20
Packed with information backed by solid research.
I loved it cover to cover. Very compelling and super informative. The narration is great.
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- Douglas
- 10-11-15
Feminists And Marxists BEWARE!!!
Another neuroscience book showing that there IS a human nature, and that it is borne of our brains and their neurotransmitters, that there ARE, in fact, traits of femininity and masculinity, and that they are borne of hormones and chemicals. This will not rest easy with the current politico-social doctrines unencumbered with cares about science or reality, but for those who wish to actually learn something about human nature and gender and how people interact with each other and why--give it a read.
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18 people found this helpful
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- D. Frrazier
- 07-02-15
Interesting info, but too much science at times.
Very interesting book about how our chemistry and biology help us to form bonds with others. Lots of comparisons of human behaviors to the behaviors of other animals. The book is best when it is telling stories about real people. But sometimes the book gets a bit bogged down by the details of the science. Maybe some scientist or science students will have an easier time understanding all this science, but to me the discussion often seemed like so much alphabet soup between the acronyms for various neurotransmitters and the acronyms for various parts of the brain. I almost gave up on this book a few times because of all the science, but I'm glad I stuck with it until the end.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kelly
- 12-14-22
Riveting and Responsible, Fun!
What could otherwise be dry data is presented by the author in fun, reasoned, and responsible ways — where appropriate, reminding listeners of hypotheses and opinion. Talented, the narrator does full service to the compelling data+opinion by using intelligent inflection and speakers’ tone to make it all easy-to-listen to. And, the presentation feels charismatic, approachable, and even a bit personal. In story and narration there is respect for the listener’s intelligence and curiosity.
Highly recommend for any ‘student’ of behavior, and anyone who’s ever wondered ‘what’s the deal with my love choices?’
I’ll be listening to this again because it was that informative. Many a party has been enlivened by my ‘takeaways’ of this book’s contents!
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- Carlos M.
- 11-27-15
Astonishing
Refreshing and captivating narration,
ideas around social practices and cognitive science revealing.
Stories and examples delightful.
Truly great foundation to understand love, relationships and society.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Adrienne
- 07-21-18
Involved but light
This book was full of great studies and explanations. It had examples and really opened my eyes to the aspects of attraction that pull us one way or another. It was honest and unbiased.
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2 people found this helpful
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- MaxTown
- 09-14-16
These people don't understand gender.
Would you try another book from Larry Young and Brian Alexander and/or Sean Pratt?
No. The book starts off with a single case study to 'prove' that gendered traits are natural. One case study does not equal science.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Catherine
- 05-25-16
Not the best
Very reductionalist and has many themes of paternalism. Many studies cited were influenced by these factors
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3 people found this helpful